this is important
call off the search party, Goldman Sachs, Greg Smith, muppets, you wish he was joking
The situation is fluid – stay tuned.
"A sodomized muppet doll with semen and other secretions was found in the dressing room of Charles "Fungul your Mada" Gasparino this afternoon. DNA testing has confirmed the semen, while nearly untraceable most likely due to overuse of steroids, does belong to Mr. Gasparino. Fox News, Mr. Gasparino, and the Muppet all had no comment."
Gasparino is a tool
However GS has found multiple emails referring to "axeing the potted plants" this I think they're talking about clients.
-Guy who wonders if steroids affect one's memory.
Fozzie Bear is a friend of mine.
-Chaz the Muppet Master
Who is Charlie Gasparino?
Subject: Overheard in Cafeteria at GS
Bork! Bork! Bork!
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