It’s often been said, in profiles, conversations, and the like, that Andrew Ross Sorkin is the hardest working man in America, juggling several  jobs at any given time. Up until now, the ones we knew about were 1) Dealbook editor 2) Squawk Box host and 3) author. Today we’ve learned of yet another title he holds: (self-described) Human Garbage Disposal. “If food is in front of me, I have to eat it,” Sorkin told Grub Street, while taking part in its “New York Diet” series, an accounting of one person’s food intake over a given week. From March 2 to March 7 we get to see ARS’s appetite in action, destroying everything in its wake. Yogurt (Fage peach), his children’s chicken nuggets, Chinese food, coffee ice-cream, tomato soup, mushroom soup, peanut butter brownies, turkey sandwiches, margaritas, Red Bull, oysters, Muscle Milk, pretzels, steak, salmon, Chirpin’ Chicken, sweet-potato fries– no one gets a free pass. It’s actually quite mesmerizing and more than a little impressive. And that’s just what he consumes for sustenance. Here’s what he goes weak in the knees over:

Anything that came out of a deep-fryer: “…we ended up at Five Points where I had two spicy margaritas and ruined [my] workout within in twenty minutes. I also had a spinach salad, rockfish, and a chocolate brioche bread pudding and apple crisp to die for. Give me anything baked or fried and … forget it.

Donuts, Glazed: “All is well in the world, until someone brings Dunkin’ Donuts to theTimes office. No will power around glazed doughnuts. I could eat a whole table of them. They’re classic and timeless, without being too sugary and complicated.”

Bread pudding, warning you now, he has no qualms about eating off the plate of a source: “In between MSNBC and the Times, I went to lunch with two venture capitalists at Michael’s. Their choice, not mine. I like it there because that’s how people know you haven’t died yet. Ate salmon with mustard and sorbet for dessert. Okay, the venture capitalists offered me some bread pudding, and I got all in on that, too.”

His Stacey’s Pita Chips. Dear god, do not get him started: “Now I really go off the rails at home. It starts with a glass of red wine and half a bag of Stacey Chips. Then I eat more, but with hummus. They’re the greatest chips in the history of all chips. When I was writing my book three years ago, I’d go to a bodega at eleven o’clock at night for a liter of Diet Coke, a couple beers, and my Stacey Chips.”

Andrew Ross Sorkin Will Eat Anything You Feed Him, Especially If It Is Baked or Fried [Grub Street]

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Comments (30)

  1. Posted by IgnorantBastards | March 9, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    douche

  2. Posted by the tauntinator | March 9, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    He really looks like he loves sausage most.

  3. Posted by guest | March 9, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    wow. hilarious, incisive comment.

  4. Posted by GueSt | March 9, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    What is pita chip code for?

  5. Posted by Alt_EST | March 9, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    What a lightweight.

    -Rex R.

  6. Posted by Helpful Guy | March 9, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    Be careful, once you hit puberty your metabolism will start to slow down.

  7. Posted by guest | March 9, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    greece

  8. Posted by guest | March 9, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    Take several laps.

  9. Posted by guest | March 9, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    +1

  10. Posted by Pinnochio | March 9, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    My hand caught on fire!

  11. Posted by Cut Me | March 9, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    vagina

  12. Posted by Guesty | March 9, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    "For dinner, we have the greatest housekeeper, Cida. She's most amazing person in the world."

    Delicious, too, apparently.

  13. Posted by Chobani | March 9, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    Fage?? What a fag.

  14. Posted by Guest | March 9, 2012 at 2:06 PM

    Michael's is where you go so people think you haven't died? Funny because I feel dead whenever I'm in there.

  15. Posted by InfiniteGuest | March 9, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    In a vending machine challenge I still take Maria.

  16. Posted by pazzo83 | March 9, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    Try coming between me and food and see what happens.

    - M Moore

  17. Posted by guy on 8th ave | March 9, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    Hey Andrew Ross: next time you write a book don't $uck the dick of your sources so much. You should be balanced like matt and use charts and big words to throw people off.

  18. Posted by pazzo83 | March 9, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    I like how you censored "suck" but wrote out "dick". I guess that's how you guys roll over on the west side…

  19. Posted by Sleeper | March 9, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    Bet he can't conquer the slider challenge at Jimmy's Seaside.

    - Guy trying to get a 'Whipped Cream Challenge' off the ground at Beamers

  20. Posted by pazzo83 | March 9, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    "All is well in the world, until someone brings Dunkin’ Donuts to the Times office."

    This must be happening a lot lately then.

    - Syria

  21. Posted by Ramrod | March 9, 2012 at 3:32 PM

    It's French for give me some god damn cola

  22. Posted by WSJevons | March 9, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    Clearly you are not familiar with pederasty in ancient greece.

  23. Posted by Anonymous | March 9, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    PITA= Pain in the a$$

  24. Posted by Irwin M. Fletcher | March 9, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    I'll have a bloody mary, a steak sandwich, and a steak sandwich.

  25. Posted by Lynn Tilton | March 9, 2012 at 5:52 PM

    I take that back……

  26. Posted by Guest | March 9, 2012 at 7:34 PM

    you're on

    -C. Christie

  27. Posted by PollyPerkins | March 9, 2012 at 7:48 PM

    Shout-outs to housekeepers is the NKI.

  28. Posted by dwightholland | March 10, 2012 at 3:24 AM

    Look for things you buy anyway, like yogurt or cheese, and see if there are coupons for those things. You should have a store loyalty card if your store offers one, like safeway or sample things before you buy best place would be to check is "Get Official Samples"

  29. Posted by Latesha | September 13, 2012 at 12:57 PM

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  30. Posted by Pablo | October 14, 2012 at 4:24 AM

    Great delivery. Great arguments. Keep up the
    amazing work.