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Team-Bonding Exercises Not Big Among Upper East Side Brothel Employees

Except for double-teaming clients, which was huge.

The men weren’t promised “whatever they wanted” for $1,000. That implies that you’re giving up control. There’s an understanding that we’d do basic, normal things. Sometimes the clients wanted a threesome. That’s part of the job. Plus, that would cost them $2,000. I know threesomes make some women blush, but a lot of men want them. I’d talk to the other girl after, but it’s not like we’d talk about our feelings about being hookers. We didn’t grab a coffee together.

[NYDN]

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74 Responses to “Team-Bonding Exercises Not Big Among Upper East Side Brothel Employees”

  1. Guest says:

    Hookers and feelings are two things that should avoid association at any cost.

  2. Fast Eddy says:

    Do clients still have to pay the full $2,000 if they bust an early nut on just the first hooker?

    • Semen Cavalier says:

      I hate when that happens, sometimes even thinking about Levine charts doesn't help.

      • Dakota Manning says:

        Worst comment since 2008.

      • guest says:

        One night. One night, right? Huh! I look up and there’s Marty in my office-he’s got some champagne-he tells me we just hit 30,000 billable hours on U-North and he wants to celebrate. So, an hour later I find myself in a whorehouse in-in Chelsea with two Lithuanian redheads taking turns sucking my dick. And I-I-I’m laying there and I’m trying not to cum and I wanna, you know, I wanna make it last, so I start doing the math. I think 30,000 hours…what is that? That’s uh…24 times 30. That’s 720 hours in a month. 8,760 hours in a year.

        • guest says:

          No! Wait, wait, wait. Because it’s years, it’s lives. And the numbers are making me dizzy and, you know, instead of trying not to cum, I’m trying not to think and I can’t stop. I mean, is this-is this me? Am I this freak organism that has been sent here to sleep and eat an-and defend this one horrific chain of carcinogenic moment. Is that my destiny? Is that my fate?

    • Drebin says:

      I usually just think about baseball

  3. Guest says:

    Wo ist deine farbig armband?

  4. investorcluzo says:

    "But they all wanted to meet you before giving you clients. A girl could provide them with a picture that’s 10 years old when they were 10 pounds lighter."

    sounds like match.com
    -guy who knows

  5. Guest says:

    What were first year hooker numbers this year?

    • Alt_EST says:

      Better than 10th year hooker numbers…

    • PermaGuestII says:

      At $500/hr take-home, taxfree, a lot better than most first years on the Street (or 5th years at BAC/RBS/UBS)

      • guest5 says:

        It's probably not completely tax free or at least it would be risky not to pay any taxes on it and subject yourself to potential felony tax evasion charges.

  6. InfiniteGuest says:

    Respect for the post-mortem.

  7. Not Impressed says:

    Tell me more about these "normal" things.

    – Ping

  8. Bandersnatch says:

    "Usually, we engaged in small talk for 15 or 20 minutes"
    – Seriously?

    • PermaGuestII says:

      "Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it?"

      -Small talk : prostie :: Lugers : fish

    • guestapo says:

      if I wanted 15-20 minutes of small talk I'd drop 100 on drinks and take home some "good enough" chick from the bar.

  9. Hot Karl says:

    "Normal" is a relative term.

  10. in the 1% says:

    ""Anna never wanted to be in the city and seemed more comfortable running things from her house in upstate Monroe. She’s interested in her animals and her pet pigs, her family, her four children.""

    Pet pigs. Always, always a red flag.

  11. Greg Smith says:

    Double-teaming is when you pair up to win Bronze in table tennis at the Maccabiah Games right?

  12. Cut Me says:

    Fuck the coffee. Did they grab muffins together?

  13. Eerily similar says:

    Substitute country names for clients. Substitute derivatives for basic, normal things. Turn thousands to billions for the dollar amounts and substitute the word hookers for bankers and voila! Goldman Sachs!

    • Guessed says:

      How about we just substitute your comment for one that is funny?

      • Eerily similar says:

        At least I attempted humor. Was that your J. Epstein comment earlier. Nice pedophilia, sicko.

        Don't worry. You don't have to comment. Please, just offer criticism. You're good at it.

  14. early_hominid says:

    Look, it’s not like there’s feelings involved, OK? There’s not. It's about control. You start to care and you end up like that piano-player whats-her-name Wilbur, who went from playing Liszt and Ellington in Manhattan one day to running feral with rough trade in some upstate shithole the next. So no thanks. And I’m not sayin’ she’s a hooker, OK? She’s a survivor. But she was a dreamer too, you know, the kind with “feelings” and all? And now look at her. And what’s a hooker anyway? There’s no diff between playing the piano and giving head. You can do it for pay or do it for free. You perform for pay you're a whore and that's it. You writin’ this down? Is somebody payin’ ya’? How’s it feel? You wanna grab a coffee? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  15. dumb says:

    who needs warm apple pie when you got two hookers…

  16. my pick up line says:

    Please bring a girl you are comfortable making out with. Saves money and time.

  17. Guesteeculos says:

    I used to command a double-team back in '06. Only the sight of used toothbrush would throw off my game.

    – former CDO Baller

  18. Famous 2Oil Trader says:

    I have been sitting on my hand here at work for some time today. How long does it take to go "numb" so that I can attempt to perform "The Stranger"?

  19. Trick Question says:

    Guess who's bra-less today!

    – photocaption

  20. Mandingo says:

    Cum bubbles

  21. Bess Stalker Replica says:

    I think this was written by Bess and submitted anonymously.

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