A couple weeks back, we noted that Bridgewater Associates had informed employees that they would be required to sit for an exam on the contents of Principles, a 123 page company handbook of sorts, written by founder Ray Dalio and comprised of hundreds of “principles” that guide every aspect of life at the firm. Though familiarity with them has always been an essential part of the job, there has never been a formal test determining that all employees met the required level of proficiency and some people were said to be a bit nervous about what to expect. Luckily, a group called the Principles Training Team sent out an email yesterday walking everyone through what “Test Day” will entail and it appears there is nothing to worry about. The exam, which will begin at 9AM and end at 5PM with a break for lunch is simply “meant to feel like a day-long conversation on Principles.” That doesn’t sound so bad, right? Sure, parts of that conversation (which will take place between you and your computer), during which you “should have no materials on your desk,” will be graded, but Bridgewater is just trying to determine “what you know and honestly think about Principles.” Think of this thing as just a coupla wildebeests, havin’ a chat. Of course, as is the case in any animal kingdom, sometimes you’ll find a few wildebeests looking to cut corners via cheat sheets– you don’t want to be those wildebeests, as the PTT will “audit for cheating, and cheating will be dealt with severely.” To that end, don’t be a weaselly wildebeest who suddenly comes with a stomach bug on Test Day. The PTT will “keep track of lateness or unexpected absence,” and cautions that one might want to “think twice about calling in ‘sick’!”





Good luck to all!

Earlier: A Wildebeest Leaves New York Traveling North At 10 MPH. A Hyena Leaves Westport Traveling South At 15MPH. At What Time Does The Wildebeest Get Eaten?

296 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (296)

  1. Posted by Ferris Bueller, CFA | April 19, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    The key to faking out PTT is the clammy hands. It's a good non-specific symptom; I'm a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock, but, uh… you get a nervous HR dept, you could wind up in a doctor's office. That's worse than Test Day. You fake a stomach cramp, and when you're bent over, moaning and wailing, you lick your palms. It's a little childish and stupid, but then, so is Bridgewater.

  2. Posted by dumb | April 19, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Being a member of PTT is the NKI…

  3. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    Jesus, Ray, you don't already know who the bottom 10% are based on your totally naked honesty approach? Just fire them.

    -Neutron Jack

  4. Posted by guest | April 19, 2012 at 1:39 PM

    This reads like something from a Scientology orientation seminar.

  5. Posted by guest | April 19, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    Rumor has it that Test Part III has something to do with Flavor Aid (but we didn't receive that memo yet).

  6. Posted by Oh Cult! | April 19, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    Jim Jones Punch will be served during the lunch break. Don't forget to wear your jumpsuits with matching sneakers!

  7. Posted by pazzo83 | April 19, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    break for lunch = break for margs?

    – M Levine

  8. Posted by 1984 | April 19, 2012 at 1:49 PM

    All your brains are belong to us.

  9. Posted by Offended | April 19, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    Evolve the machine? Collect dots on people that are different? You mean people from India?

    -Guy who thinks the test is racist.

  10. Posted by guest | April 19, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    Is it wrong for me to hope for some cataclysmic event to hit the markets and leave all of Bridgewater's investments completely upside down by pencils down time at 5pm on the 24th?

    -guy who hates organized brainwashing

  11. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 19, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Isn't this a rather unproductive use of a trading day?

  12. Posted by pazzo83 | April 19, 2012 at 1:56 PM

    "so you can use your iPrinciples coach"

    See you in court!

    – Apple, Inc

  13. Posted by Roger Meyers | April 19, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    Hey, Ray .. Excuse me, but "robust," "dots," and "tidbits." Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. I'm fired, aren't I?

  14. Posted by gab | April 19, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    Damn – I don't even work there and that made me nervous…

  15. Posted by Hyena Games | April 19, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Good luck! And may the odds be ever in your favor!

  16. Posted by Evolve the machine | April 19, 2012 at 2:01 PM

    "Learn how to collect meaningful dots about people that can illuminate the many, many in which they can be different"

    OK.

  17. Posted by Travolta & Cruise | April 19, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    Nope, much weirder.

  18. Posted by J. Paulson | April 19, 2012 at 2:03 PM

    Nope, not wrong at all.

    -Hedge fund Manager longing for some schadenfreude

  19. Posted by Tom Cruise | April 19, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    That's it buddy – you just made The List.

  20. Posted by GhostInTheMachine | April 19, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    We are spirits in the material world.

    That is all.

  21. Posted by L Ron Hubbs | April 19, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    its sort of like bizarro scientology; same creepy cultish vibe, but the money flows in the opposite direction

  22. Posted by Bandersnatch | April 19, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    "will measure … how you think differently from others". They must pay really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really,really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really well to put up with that shit.

  23. Posted by ShortNaked | April 19, 2012 at 2:13 PM

    I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me. If I'm gonna fail and get fired, I wanna still be me.

    -Peeta

  24. Posted by Alt_EST | April 19, 2012 at 2:17 PM

    Copula of Wildebeests? I used that one a lot back in '07.

    -UBS Sub-Saharan RMBS Structuing Quant

  25. Posted by Really Quant | April 19, 2012 at 2:21 PM

    Really?

    -Really Quantish Quant

  26. Posted by Normal Distribution | April 19, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Ray Dalio, achieving normalcy one foible at a time.

  27. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    6pm – Cocktails at the Ministry of Truth

  28. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    Bess, will you sponsor Matt to sit for this exam as well?

  29. Posted by Cut Me | April 19, 2012 at 2:35 PM

    Nope.

    -C. Kengeter

  30. Posted by Sean | April 19, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    You can't make an omelte without scramblin' a few brains.

    Bridgewater Associates '12 Prospectus

  31. Posted by Omaha Hyena | April 19, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    Warren Buffett has more money than Dalio. Theoretically, Dalio should be giving all his top people Blizzard enemas on a regular basis to get them to become creative enough to produce more money -up to Buffett's level- as opposed to mandating psychologically menacing "tests"

  32. Posted by ShortNaked | April 19, 2012 at 2:44 PM

    Blizzard enemas are what caused my current situation.

    -W.B.

  33. Posted by Winston Smith | April 19, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    2+2=5

    Ministry of Truth Quant

  34. Posted by PTT | April 19, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    Principles test passer > CFA

  35. Posted by Strong sell | April 19, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    The test isn't that hard, you just have to read Dianetics…er….The Principles like 3 times and you're fine.

  36. Posted by BessLevin | April 19, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    He really wants to take it.

  37. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 19, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    Plusgood!

  38. Posted by Zoolander | April 19, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    You forgot to add the word ridiculously somewhere in there…

  39. Posted by BessLevin | April 19, 2012 at 3:09 PM

    I got that feeling when it's been announced that someone got caught doing something Really Bad and you know it's not you but you panic for a second that maybe it was you while reading "think twice about calling in 'sick'."

  40. Posted by Girl good w/ssheets | April 19, 2012 at 3:11 PM

    I've follow "The Rules" and they work. Am I hired?

  41. Posted by VonSloneker | April 19, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    Kaplan has already set up a prep course for the Principles Exam. It involves in class exercises designed to acclimate you to the forfiture of your dignity…nudity, ball gags, photoshopped images of your significant other with other men/women, a barrage of "your momma" jokes etc.

    – Guy who would definitely turn in an ABACADABA Scantron on this one

  42. Posted by Mother nature | April 19, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    These douche bags can't even stack a proper sandbag

  43. Posted by George O | April 19, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    Have him sign up as Emmanuel Goldstein.

  44. Posted by Zuck | April 19, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    $1B = $2B

  45. Posted by VonSloneker | April 19, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Preach it..

    – Lesly Gore

  46. Posted by FKApmco | April 19, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    Ray: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME. You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for yourselves. You're ALL individuals.
    B/water employees (in unison): Yes, we are all individuals.

  47. Posted by _guest | April 19, 2012 at 3:42 PM

    I've scanned The Principles and I'm thinking that Bridgewater might be a good fit for me.

    -Impressionable DeVry '12 MBA Candidate

  48. Posted by Nikes and Capes | April 19, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    Hail Bop!

  49. Posted by thezissou | April 19, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Is he going by Jesus now? Its hard to stay on top of which deity he is the reincarnate week to week…

  50. Posted by Orwellian | April 19, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Can you imagine the high level of assholeness required to be a leader on the Principles Training Team? A big enough ahole to want to police and catch people who don't comply fully? That's some new world 1984 shit there.

  51. Posted by the zissou | April 19, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    the ~150 exempt automatons are programmed to hit the red stop loss button

  52. Posted by Reg | April 19, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    I follow the Shoe. Those who follow the Gourd are heretics. As, of course, is the Popular front.

  53. Posted by Tom C | April 19, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    I heard John Travolta got a 100 on this

  54. Posted by VonSloneker | April 19, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    I'm not

    – Guy at the back

  55. Posted by VonSloneker | April 19, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Judean People's Front…bah…you mean the People's Front of Judeah

  56. Posted by Sciver | April 19, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    ya, he should be on here commenting…

    sons of bitches

  57. Posted by ray dalio | April 19, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    robusta cap in yo ass

  58. Posted by illiterati | April 19, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    like msnbc

  59. Posted by cogg diss | April 19, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    where…

  60. Posted by Indubitably | April 19, 2012 at 4:08 PM

    My guess is you don't want to do too well on this exam. Then they know that you actually have a lot of time to do things outside of your actual job, like study. These are the people they lay off first.

    You want to do just well enough to show your a good test taker who can think on this feet, but also show that your job is so demanding that there's no way you can have studied. That's what the PTT is looking for

  61. Posted by Ray | April 19, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    No.

  62. Posted by Slothman | April 19, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    I forgot my fuckin pencil… got an extra ray ?

    was out late, dog ate that principals shit you been passin out, but I scanned it at the bar.

  63. Posted by FKApmco | April 19, 2012 at 4:19 PM

    B/water employees: shhhh

  64. Posted by HighFrequencyHater | April 19, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    Next step is to start offering free stress tests on the street as a guise to spread the enlighted truth of the Dalian movement.

  65. Posted by Joe C | April 19, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    Principles Training Team > CFA Level IV

  66. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    Ha!

    – guy that also enjoyed FBDO on HBO last night

  67. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    Guy who…

    Sorry. Sorry!

  68. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 4:49 PM

    Totally.

    – Guy who got that same feeling when you posted about match.com spreadsheets guy

  69. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    O'Brien gonna be there?

  70. Posted by Ray Ray Dalio Jr Jr | April 19, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    What time is the session on inbreeding? And is Maxine Waters teaching anything this year? I like shiny objects.

    -MD BW

  71. Posted by cfa ethics test | April 19, 2012 at 5:44 PM

    "Bill, a private wealth advisor, likes to have several cocktails at his club during lunch. Upon returning to his office, his colleagues observe him making investment decisions while obviously drunk."

    Is this

    (a) a violation of CFA principle 1b
    (b) a violation of CFA principle 3c
    (c) a complete fiction, who has time to "lunch" at their "club?"
    (d) praiseworthy if you can get away with it

  72. Posted by It Bugs Me | April 19, 2012 at 5:47 PM

    Yea verily, the Scandinavians say "ya" when they mean "yeah".

  73. Posted by Mao | April 19, 2012 at 5:50 PM

    It's "The Shining Path"

  74. Posted by Guestest | April 19, 2012 at 6:16 PM

    "Evolve the Machine: Learn how to better collect meaningful dots about people… "

    BW Associates, Welcome to the Hotel California!

  75. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 6:23 PM

    When I say that these are my principles, I don’t mean that in a possessive or egotistical way.

    -R Dalio

  76. Posted by kill me | April 19, 2012 at 7:09 PM

    Nobody wants my opinion on this??

    -guy from the other bwater thread who is suspected of dating a wildebeest

  77. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 7:21 PM

    You can't make a Vomlette without scramblin' a few pledges. @AndrewLohseDartmouth http://dealbook.nytimes.com/2011/08/05/bridgewatehttp://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/confessi

  78. Posted by Guest | April 19, 2012 at 10:30 PM

    It's all smoke and mirrors to cover up that it's really a big ponzi scheme

    — guy who is a mole, or has a mole

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  154. Posted by Cut Me | April 20, 2012 at 7:12 AM

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  155. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 20, 2012 at 8:29 AM

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  156. Posted by Stan melnick | April 20, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    Bring your #2 pencil and cult membership ID for admittance.

  157. Posted by guest | April 20, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    by and large.

  158. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 20, 2012 at 12:33 PM

    Is it run by weasels?

    -Mr. Toad

  159. Posted by tyler | April 20, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    just internal control measures

  160. Posted by Guest | April 20, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    It would need to be several full Brink's trucks to many dealing with those teenage wannabees worthwhile.

  161. Posted by Guest | April 20, 2012 at 8:46 PM

    refreshments provided : read cool aid

  162. Posted by Guest | April 21, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    That's what she said!

  163. Posted by 1990s | April 22, 2012 at 10:25 PM

    We'll see YOU in court.

    – iRiver

  164. Posted by Sir Galahad | April 23, 2012 at 5:08 AM

    "you must give us all a good spanking…" oops, sorry, wrong movie

  165. Posted by Kit | April 24, 2012 at 1:06 AM

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  166. Posted by Herbie | April 24, 2012 at 1:42 AM

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    "You can't handle the truth!" no, better:
    "I don't want to be an elf, I want to be a dentist!"

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