Stephen Schwarzman Supposedly Not Interested In ‘Mommy Porn’

50 Shades of Grey is the first book in a trilogy about the relationship between a recent college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a “young business magnate,” Christian Grey, the former being employed as a sex slave of the latter, who has a room in his apartment called the “Red Room of Pain,” where his sadomasichistic directives go down. The books have been dubbed “mommy porn” and are apparently huge among married women over thirty who are using the “tantalizing tale to spice up their sex lives.” Naturally, the subject came up last night at a party attended by some billionaires and their wives.

Stephen Schwarzman [attended the event] with his wife, Christine Schwarzman, who said she’s just finished reading the novel “50 Shades of Grey,” which is “definitely not for Steve,” who likes the thriller writer Lee Child.

While the Blackstone CEO may be (allegedly) too good for billionaire BDSM tales, we assume most of his peers have found themselves unable to put the tomes down and don’t care who knows it. To that end, we’ve sent out detailed questionaires to top CEOs and hedge fund managers to find out how many other “out and proud” readers of the series there are among Wall Street’s elite. Apparently Jimmy Cayne went through the trilogy in “less than a week” and Carl Icahn, who keeps autographed copies proudly displayed on his office shelves, is dying for a fourth installment. No word from one J. Gundlach, though we’re expecting a moderately snippy note about how he “could’ve written the damn thing.”

Bill Cunningham on Borrowed Dresses, Charity Galas, Astor [Bloomberg]

(hidden for your protection)
Show all comments

43 Responses to “Stephen Schwarzman Supposedly Not Interested In ‘Mommy Porn’”

  1. Jiang & Gundlach says:

    Are you kidding, that crap was way too tame. We're getting ready to publish our own novel that will blow this out of the water.

    • Shecky Schwarzdalio says:

      Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives.

      Sue says, "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"

      Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."

      Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you, being married to a rich and powerful hedge fund owner, …….that you would go for *…that….* ."

      "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

  2. guesticle says:

    I'm only interested if pmco read it.

  3. inlovewithpmco says:

    PMCO, want to re enact as few chapters?

  4. 2_Small_2_Bail says:

    The logical take:
    Women reading a book with that premise get the urge to play college girl and bang their husbands. Men reading that book get the urge to bang a college girl. Christine is wise to keep that book to herself.

  5. Let them eat dog says:

    Fifty shades of garbage, more like it….these quotes are from some blogger:

    Someone needs to take this author’s thesaurus and hide it someplace safe.

    “Anticipation hangs heavy and portentous over my head…”

    “‘So I brought you here,” he said phlegmatically.

    “The ceremony takes another hour to conclude. It’s interminable.”

    “Another mercurial mood swing; it’s so hard to keep up.”

    “I’m lost in a quagmire of sensation.”

    “I revel in his possession, his lust slaking mine.”

    “Trepidation lances through me.”

    “He’s got right under my skin, literally.”

  6. Guest says:

    …and are apparently huge among married women over thirty who are using the “tantalizing tale to spice up their sex lives.”

    – – – –
    How do you get your wife to scream while you’re having sex? Call her and tell her.

    • RIP Rodney D says:

      I hopped in a cab and said, "Take me to where the action is"

      He took me to my house.

      • No Respect says:

        My wife and I like to smoke after sex. I'm on the same pack since 1978. She's up to three packs a day.

        • Thornton Melon says:

          One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

          • Shecky Moody says:

            I say to my wife, "How come you never scream out my name during sex?"

            She says, "Because you're not around…."

          • Rodney Fermi says:

            I got home from work the other day and my wife met me at the door in a sheer negligee'. Trouble is, she was just getting home from work too!

          • Guest says:

            I came home the other day and saw a man running stark naked down the street. I asked him, "Why are you running naked down the street?" He said, "Because you came home early."

  7. Dinner Guest says:

    With a college graduate? Disgusting.

    J. Epstein

  8. Inappropriate_Bill says:

    What do women and condoms have in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

  9. Hondo says:

    "…enduring a penis the size of my husband's…" Mrs Schwartzman continued, "…even fantasy whips and chains are apt to evoke more feelings inside of me…"

  10. guest says:

    Sen. Joseph Biden: And she still didn't go out with you? [ Thomas nods no ] Now, Judge Thomas, there have been charges by Professor Hill that you talked casually with her about graphic scenes in porno movies. Is that true?

    Judge Clarence Thomas: Yes, it is.

    Sen. Joseph Biden: And.. did that work? Did it break the ice?

    Judge Clarence Thomas: No, Senator, it actually offended her.

    Sen. Howell Heflin: Uh.. what porno movie did you talk about?

    Judge Clarence Thomas: Well.. I mainly spoke about a favorite of mine, called "The Hind-Lick Manuever".

    Sen. Howell Heflin: That's a good movie, Judge! But do you think hard-core porno is the way to go? Because I feel women prefer softer porn.

    Sen. Joseph Biden: Senator Thurmond?

    Sen. Strom Thurmond: I agree with Senator Heflin. Yeah, that's right! The women like something with more stories and costumes, that'll transport 'em to another place and time. That's right! Women don't like close-ups of oversized genitalia! That's just never gonna turn 'em on!

  11. Guest says:

    Ever get a handy from a one armed man with a lobster claw? Want to?

  12. Jimmy Cayne says:

    "Apparently Jimmy Cayne went through the trilogy in 'less than a week'[.]"


    -Jimmy Cayne

  13. VonSloneker says:

    You know how I know you're a man? This post is the first time you've heard about these books…

    – I. Man

  14. Guest says:

    The Fetish Fair is cancelled too:–will

  15. Sponsored Content says:

    A E sir

  16. d.Loeb says:

    I know it by heart and ghost wrote some chapters.

  17. E. L. James says:

    hey I just met you,
    and this is crazy,
    but here's a riding crop
    so whip me maybe.

    -My Inner Goddess