50 Shades of Grey is the first book in a trilogy about the relationship between a recent college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a “young business magnate,” Christian Grey, the former being employed as a sex slave of the latter, who has a room in his apartment called the “Red Room of Pain,” where his sadomasichistic directives go down. The books have been dubbed “mommy porn” and are apparently huge among married women over thirty who are using the “tantalizing tale to spice up their sex lives.” Naturally, the subject came up last night at a party attended by some billionaires and their wives.

Stephen Schwarzman [attended the event] with his wife, Christine Schwarzman, who said she’s just finished reading the novel “50 Shades of Grey,” which is “definitely not for Steve,” who likes the thriller writer Lee Child.

While the Blackstone CEO may be (allegedly) too good for billionaire BDSM tales, we assume most of his peers have found themselves unable to put the tomes down and don’t care who knows it. To that end, we’ve sent out detailed questionaires to top CEOs and hedge fund managers to find out how many other “out and proud” readers of the series there are among Wall Street’s elite. Apparently Jimmy Cayne went through the trilogy in “less than a week” and Carl Icahn, who keeps autographed copies proudly displayed on his office shelves, is dying for a fourth installment. No word from one J. Gundlach, though we’re expecting a moderately snippy note about how he “could’ve written the damn thing.”

Bill Cunningham on Borrowed Dresses, Charity Galas, Astor [Bloomberg]

43 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (43)

  1. Posted by Jiang & Gundlach | April 24, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    Are you kidding, that crap was way too tame. We're getting ready to publish our own novel that will blow this out of the water.

  2. Posted by guesticle | April 24, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    I'm only interested if pmco read it.

  3. Posted by inlovewithpmco | April 24, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    PMCO, want to re enact as few chapters?

  4. Posted by 2_Small_2_Bail | April 24, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    The logical take:
    Women reading a book with that premise get the urge to play college girl and bang their husbands. Men reading that book get the urge to bang a college girl. Christine is wise to keep that book to herself.

  5. Posted by Let them eat dog | April 24, 2012 at 4:19 PM

    Fifty shades of garbage, more like it….these quotes are from some blogger:

    Someone needs to take this author’s thesaurus and hide it someplace safe.

    “Anticipation hangs heavy and portentous over my head…”

    “‘So I brought you here,” he said phlegmatically.

    “The ceremony takes another hour to conclude. It’s interminable.”

    “Another mercurial mood swing; it’s so hard to keep up.”

    “I’m lost in a quagmire of sensation.”

    “I revel in his possession, his lust slaking mine.”

    “Trepidation lances through me.”

    “He’s got right under my skin, literally.”

  6. Posted by Guest | April 24, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    …and are apparently huge among married women over thirty who are using the “tantalizing tale to spice up their sex lives.”

    – – – –
    How do you get your wife to scream while you’re having sex? Call her and tell her.

  7. Posted by guest | April 24, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    BREAKING: authors of erotic fiction may not be gifted writers. Weird that you're so angry about it.

  8. Posted by Dinner Guest | April 24, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    With a college graduate? Disgusting.

    J. Epstein

  9. Posted by Inappropriate_Bill | April 24, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    What do women and condoms have in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

  10. Posted by inlovewithpmco | April 24, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    you are little late to the pmco bandwagon

  11. Posted by Let them eat dog | April 24, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    jealous would be more accurate.

  12. Posted by Hondo | April 24, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    "…enduring a penis the size of my husband's…" Mrs Schwartzman continued, "…even fantasy whips and chains are apt to evoke more feelings inside of me…"

  13. Posted by Laxbro | April 24, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    Trolling for college pussy at 50 y/o is only successfully accomplished by three types of people: college professors, high fashion photographers, and Alec Baldwin

  14. Posted by guest | April 24, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    Sen. Joseph Biden: And she still didn't go out with you? [ Thomas nods no ] Now, Judge Thomas, there have been charges by Professor Hill that you talked casually with her about graphic scenes in porno movies. Is that true?

    Judge Clarence Thomas: Yes, it is.

    Sen. Joseph Biden: And.. did that work? Did it break the ice?

    Judge Clarence Thomas: No, Senator, it actually offended her.

    Sen. Howell Heflin: Uh.. what porno movie did you talk about?

    Judge Clarence Thomas: Well.. I mainly spoke about a favorite of mine, called "The Hind-Lick Manuever".

    Sen. Howell Heflin: That's a good movie, Judge! But do you think hard-core porno is the way to go? Because I feel women prefer softer porn.

    Sen. Joseph Biden: Senator Thurmond?

    Sen. Strom Thurmond: I agree with Senator Heflin. Yeah, that's right! The women like something with more stories and costumes, that'll transport 'em to another place and time. That's right! Women don't like close-ups of oversized genitalia! That's just never gonna turn 'em on!

  15. Posted by Guest | April 24, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    Ever get a handy from a one armed man with a lobster claw? Want to?

  16. Posted by Mark | April 24, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    Did you see how small his hands are?

  17. Posted by Lady Hump Quant | April 24, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    I don't know what that meant and unfortunately it also failed to get me going.

  18. Posted by Shecky Schwarzdalio | April 24, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives.

    Sue says, "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"

    Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."

    Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you, being married to a rich and powerful hedge fund owner, …….that you would go for *…that….* ."

    "Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."

  19. Posted by Bob Diamond | April 24, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Jazz hands > Lobster claw hands.

  20. Posted by RIP Rodney D | April 24, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    I hopped in a cab and said, "Take me to where the action is"

    He took me to my house.

  21. Posted by Whoops | April 24, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    It's only fair to criticize it after phlegmatically masturbating in the middle stall.

  22. Posted by Jimmy Cayne | April 24, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    "Apparently Jimmy Cayne went through the trilogy in 'less than a week'[.]"


    -Jimmy Cayne

  23. Posted by Guestest | April 24, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    and the 54th Gov of NY. Money talks..

  24. Posted by VonSloneker | April 24, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    You know how I know you're a man? This post is the first time you've heard about these books…

    – I. Man

  25. Posted by No Respect | April 24, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    My wife and I like to smoke after sex. I'm on the same pack since 1978. She's up to three packs a day.

  26. Posted by FKApmco | April 24, 2012 at 5:17 PM

    I had never heard of it before this post and chance of me reading it is zilch.

  27. Posted by MailOrderGroom | April 24, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    Or anyone with US citizenship at any University in Russia, Mexico, China, or any Eastern European country.

  28. Posted by guest | April 24, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    This shtick is getting old..

  29. Posted by Guest | April 24, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    The Fetish Fair is cancelled too: http://www.thestar.com/news/article/1165265–will

  30. Posted by Thornton Melon | April 24, 2012 at 5:57 PM

    One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!

  31. Posted by Vent Fan, Please | April 24, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    So that was you?!?!

    -Guy in the Handicapped Stall Who Is Not Handicapped

  32. Posted by Shecky Moody | April 24, 2012 at 6:35 PM

    I say to my wife, "How come you never scream out my name during sex?"

    She says, "Because you're not around…."

  33. Posted by Rodney Fermi | April 24, 2012 at 6:37 PM

    I got home from work the other day and my wife met me at the door in a sheer negligee'. Trouble is, she was just getting home from work too!

  34. Posted by Lictus Dangerfield | April 24, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    Roman fingers……….

  35. Posted by Wire | April 25, 2012 at 6:16 AM

    * has gotten *

  36. Posted by Sausage of Doom | April 25, 2012 at 6:37 AM

    I get phlegmatic, when I have a sinus infection.

  37. Posted by Anais Nin | April 25, 2012 at 1:16 PM


  38. Posted by Sponsored Content | April 25, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    A E sir

  39. Posted by N. Webster | April 25, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    "Envious" even more so.

  40. Posted by d.Loeb | April 26, 2012 at 4:20 AM

    I know it by heart and ghost wrote some chapters.

  41. Posted by Guest | April 26, 2012 at 2:21 PM

    You're forgetting Kenny Powers.

  42. Posted by Guest | April 26, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    I came home the other day and saw a man running stark naked down the street. I asked him, "Why are you running naked down the street?" He said, "Because you came home early."

  43. Posted by E. L. James | April 27, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    hey I just met you,
    and this is crazy,
    but here's a riding crop
    so whip me maybe.

    -My Inner Goddess