A few months ago, I was standing in a crowded elevator when Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, stepped in. When he saw me, he said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear: “Why does The New York Times hate the banks?” It’s not The New York Times, Mr. Dimon. It really isn’t. It’s the country that hates the banks these days. [Joe Nocera/NYT]

152 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (152)

  1. Posted by Lowly Assistant | April 3, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    Surprised that he didn't follow up with a question regarding organic peanut butter and storage.

  2. Posted by Horse Semen Quant | April 3, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    Why don't you ever step into elevators I'm standing in and say things loud enough for everyone to hear?

    -Dejected Rolling Stone Writer

  3. Posted by VonSloneker | April 3, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    I simply must figure out a way to brag about Jamie Dimon recognizing me on the elevator a few months ago…EUREKA!! Bloviate in the NYT!

    - J. Nocera

  4. Posted by Pedantic | April 3, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Actually, the NYT has lots to do with the people of this country (de verker off de peeple) hating banks.

    -Boris, Natasha et al.

  5. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    Well put.

  6. Posted by guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    Whatever do you mean?

    -Gretch Morgs

  7. Posted by HAM05 | April 3, 2012 at 11:37 AM

    headphones on, anus relaxed, right leg raised slightly

  8. Posted by C. Gasparino | April 3, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    I would have avoided the commentary and just asked Jamie if he could hit "11" for me.

  9. Posted by Im_a_Dude | April 3, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    I doubt Jamie Dimon knows or cares who Joe Nocera is, and this elevator incident took place in the depths of the NYT imagination department.

  10. Posted by guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    Let me think Jamie, maybe it's because the Fed is sitting on a 3 trillion dollar pile of shit which is causing the price of everything people need to live to skyrocket, or that the 1 Trillion dollars in deposits you sit on giving zero return to savers is subsidizing your earnings power while other industries like my own have fallen into the toilet because we don't have the largesse of our friends on the board of the Fed bailing us out anytime there is a potential hiccup in our risk profile. D-bag.

    -NY Times apologist

  11. Posted by fanciful financier | April 3, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    Joe you sir, are a moron

  12. Posted by guestapo | April 3, 2012 at 11:47 AM

    You're a moron if you think Dimon doesn't know who Nocera is, as part of his job is to meet with reporters, particularly high-profile ones and JoNo is most certainly on that list.

    -not a fan of JoNo but also not a fan of stupidity

  13. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    That is very well put.

  14. Posted by Not Jamie | April 3, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    I bet Jamie wishes it was Bess on that elevator, and not for a story.

  15. Posted by stfuNOOB | April 3, 2012 at 11:54 AM

    So the banks *owe* you a higher NOMINAL rate of return? Interesting. For a retard.

  16. Posted by guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:54 AM

    "I doubt Jamie Dimon knows…who Joe Nocera is"

    You're not very bright, are you?

  17. Posted by guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    Sir, its not the New York Times that hates banks, it was/is certain investors that are short the banks and plant stories with "reporters" for the New York Times that hate banks.
    - G. Morgenson

  18. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    But a grammatical disaster.

    -NY Times Editorial Board

  19. Posted by Jim | April 3, 2012 at 11:57 AM

    You don't like banks? Stop borrowing money.

  20. Posted by guest | April 3, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    He hates these banks!
    - Navan R. Johnson

  21. Posted by Nigel Tufnel | April 3, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    mine goes to 11 also..

  22. Posted by S. Tyler | April 3, 2012 at 11:58 AM

    You know you drive me up the wall the way you make good on all the nasty tricks you pull.
    Seems like we're makin' up more than we're makin' love.

  23. Posted by Thirstyguest | April 3, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    What does a water supply-linked derivative have to do with this?

  24. Posted by Mexi_Cant | April 3, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    I'm Joe Nocera and I'm white trash.

  25. Posted by Fee Pie Eater | April 3, 2012 at 12:19 PM

    Sounds like the head of IB at an unnamed 2nd tier bank is masquerading as an NYT apologist.

  26. Posted by gab | April 3, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    Apparently poor Joe is unaware they are doing God's work…

  27. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 3, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    Have to say, I'd pay a lot more attention to the NYT et al. if they demonstrated an actual ability to differentiate between, say, a derivatives trader, the head of healthcare banking at XYZ & Co., a middle-manager in the Sioux Falls credit-card receivables processing department, and the stock loan department. Instead, everyone even tangentially related to the industry is a "banker." It's as if it were ok to characterize every single employee at the Times as a "reporter."

  28. Posted by You =/= Smart | April 3, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    Signed,

    -23 y/o Lazard Quant??

  29. Posted by I'm a Banker!!!!!! | April 3, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    God sometimes I forget how much I secretly love the New York Times.

    -Piper Jaffray Trade Settlement Analyst

  30. Posted by Fuld, Corzine, etc. | April 3, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    Good question. Why is that?

  31. Posted by InfiniteGuest | April 3, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Points for artfully dodging the question.

  32. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    I'd eat Jamie up like a succulent piece of sweetbread.

    - Frank Bruni

  33. Posted by Cut Me | April 3, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    Why don't you come ride on a REAL elevator Mr. Nocera.

    -Vickles

  34. Posted by J. Nocera | April 3, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    and for my next brilliant idea… @JPMelevator

  35. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    yessss….gooooood……tell me more……

    -G' latch

  36. Posted by J.D. | April 3, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    As if it were ok to characterize any employee at the Times as a "reporter."

    Fixed it.

  37. Posted by Y. Smirnoff | April 3, 2012 at 1:18 PM

    In Soviet Russia, bank hates you!

  38. Posted by GentlemanTrader | April 3, 2012 at 1:24 PM

    Welcome to Dealbreaker Joe!

  39. Posted by 2Hedged | April 3, 2012 at 1:32 PM

    Joe,

    You have part of my attention – you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of JP Morgan, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.

    -JD

  40. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM

    Nobody wants to read a twitter stream about planning meetings and TPS report cover sheets.

  41. Posted by Cut Me | April 3, 2012 at 1:42 PM

    Put we would love the to read about the maxed out debit cards, Mossad side jobs, and giving your flat key to someone you loath.

  42. Posted by Haterade | April 3, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    JD and I were in an elevator and it was a pleasant ride until he farted. Then it was an uncomfortable, smelly ride.

    - JPM Intern

  43. Posted by VonSloneker | April 3, 2012 at 1:48 PM

    Hey Taibbi, why does Rolling Stone hate "equine-swimmers?"

    - NYT

  44. Posted by Jim | April 3, 2012 at 1:48 PM

    LAZ is probably outperforming your bank this quarter buddy….just sayin'

  45. Posted by The Keymaster | April 3, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    The Israeli secret service is always watching

    - JP Morgan Vice Grip Quant

  46. Posted by Joe Nocera | April 3, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    I have clients?

  47. Posted by Twitter Name Quant | April 3, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    So @HighFlyingJPMElevator

  48. Posted by You =/= Smart | April 3, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    Seems I've hit a homerun on that guess.

  49. Posted by Family Guy JPM BSD | April 3, 2012 at 2:06 PM

    The biggest value add an intern can do for a CEO is learn to love his gas. Love the gas JPM Intern! LOVE IT!

    - Peter Griffin, JP Morgan MD

  50. Posted by Capt. Rameus | April 3, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    Still glad I defected.

  51. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Thanks for nothing.

    -Crew, Red October

  52. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    I was once in an elevator at GS with Dan Loeb and David Einhorn.

    -Jayson Blair

  53. Posted by curious | April 3, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    as a horse seaman quant what would you you do on a
    given day ?

  54. Posted by elevator guy | April 3, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    this may be your best insight yet

  55. Posted by Jim | April 3, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    Three letters my man, M – H -S ……

  56. Posted by blue horseshoe | April 3, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    the chronicle loves banks

  57. Posted by Buckaroo | April 3, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    One ping only please.

  58. Posted by You Know Who | April 3, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    Dan Loeb and David Einhorn are friends of mine.

    -Equinox Steam Room Lurker

  59. Posted by W. Tilson | April 3, 2012 at 2:46 PM

    Bill Ackman and I frequently ride the same elevator, although I get off before he does.

    -triple entendre

  60. Posted by dick fuld | April 3, 2012 at 2:46 PM

    you see this is why i used a private elevator.

    place is full of cocksuckers

  61. Posted by You =/= Smart | April 3, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    Minetta's – Hour – Sitting on far end of bar?

  62. Posted by Jim | April 3, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    maybe joke of the day

  63. Posted by Jim | April 3, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    Nah, more like Mendez Boxing, How about we Spar?

  64. Posted by dick something | April 3, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    i thot pershing was in thomo building ?

  65. Posted by dick fuld | April 3, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    Nomo that is…

    ( phone at a bar patio )

  66. Posted by You Know Who | April 3, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    Do you just strive to say the dumbest possible thing every time you comment? I made that joke and even I'd rate it as "mediocre to intermediate."

  67. Posted by You =/= Smart | April 3, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    I don't fight hispanics.

  68. Posted by svp | April 3, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    it is day two jim.

    lets be more precise with thi.gs

  69. Posted by # 32 | April 3, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    funny part was next day…

    JJD shows up wearing a He Hate Me jersey.

    shuda seen joes shame

  70. Posted by zimmerman | April 3, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    Nice try sharpton

  71. Posted by BessLevin | April 3, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    I'm glad you got a lot of thumbs up on this but Jamie Dimon definitely knows who Joe Nocera is, despite your doubts.

  72. Posted by gaspipe charlie | April 3, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    All these guys are friends of mine

  73. Posted by nojono | April 3, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    Gentleman, what do you think.

    Gayest comment of the year

  74. Posted by the seer | April 3, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    I also know

  75. Posted by permaship | April 3, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    what no boat metaphors ?

  76. Posted by guest | April 3, 2012 at 4:47 PM

    not anymore

  77. Posted by Ping | April 3, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    You rang?

  78. Posted by TheSilentFloor | April 3, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Fuck you Thunder! You can suck my Dick!

  79. Posted by UFO | April 3, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Ping, no ring

    - GS ping v ring quant

  80. Posted by UFO | April 3, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    WTF this comment should be after ping's. Where's my bailout?

    - UBS comments clearing MD

  81. Posted by Gartman | April 3, 2012 at 6:07 PM

    I predicted not only that they would meet on a elevator but that he would know.

  82. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 6:09 PM

    Ha.

    - guy who laughed at the above.

  83. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 6:13 PM

    Deposits subsidizing earnings power? Isn't that kind of what banks do: take deposits and lend them out at a higher rate? Also, pretty sure the low rate of interest has more to do with the Fed than JD.

    Did you mean NY Times apologist or employee?

  84. Posted by Im_a_Dude | April 3, 2012 at 6:18 PM

    Bess, sounds like you have intimate knowledge of JD and not from facebook. Pray tell.

  85. Posted by Guest | April 3, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    Totally! Only people within the industry who nuance their arguments so as to spare the vast majority of individuals working in the sector from moral approbation are credible. Just like when the N.Y. Times confused the S.A. and the S.S. in 1943, utterly destroying the Grey Lady's reputation.

  86. Posted by JHG | April 3, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Hey permaguest: you proved his point. You may think those bullshit words you used define a "bank". Most of us out here define those words as "robbery", "lying sacks of shit", "I'm sorry, you don't qualify", that'll be 23 percent vigorish to you dedicated monthly payor". Crawl out of your Bentley and shake hands (ok use a glove) with someone who has to breathe air instead of the pure oxygen you inhale.

  87. Posted by Bitchtern | April 3, 2012 at 8:54 PM

    You prove our point. Not only do you not make any sense but it's clear that you carry a large chip on what I must assume to be broad, sloped shoulders.

    And since I javascript doesn't seem to want to work for me:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEkWH8DB7b0

  88. Posted by cobra | April 4, 2012 at 5:47 AM

    i was on the verge of tears as he stepped in, his hair smelling of unbashful success, his suit ironed with the steam of honourable progress, the elevator filled with the dreams of pre-pubescent riches as i was certain he wouldn't recognize me, but then he yelled at me, and relief washed over me in an awesome wave.

    -Joe Nocero

  89. Posted by Doug | April 4, 2012 at 8:31 AM

    I bet Bess wishes it was Bess on that elevator.

  90. Posted by guest | April 4, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Jamie Dimon is on the Board of the NY Fed I think that was the point of this post.

    -NY Times fact checker

  91. Posted by Danny | April 4, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    You must be the steam room lurker…

  92. Posted by Dominic | April 4, 2012 at 11:23 AM

    :)

    -DSK

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