A few months ago, I was standing in a crowded elevator when Jamie Dimon, the chief executive of JPMorgan Chase, stepped in. When he saw me, he said in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear: “Why does The New York Times hate the banks?” It’s not The New York Times, Mr. Dimon. It really isn’t. It’s the country that hates the banks these days. [Joe Nocera/NYT]
What? It’s Not Like He Hit The Button For Every Floor To Make The Ride As Awkward As Possible
By Bess LevinComments (152)
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You know what they say: You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your financial planner. Or something like that. One of the great things of being in charge of your money is choosing who (if anyone) will help you manage it. The choice isn’t always an easy one. How will you know that your planner is reputable and trustworthy?
These five red flags may be good indications of whether the financial planner sitting across from you is someone you should trust with your money. LearnVest Planning also provides an innovative 7-step program for your money where you work one-on-one with a financial planner. To see if this program is right for you, start with a free financial consultation.
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2. He Offers to Manage Your Money for “Free”
Financial planners are usually paid in one of two ways: Either through fee-only, which can be a set fee, hourly, retainer or a percentage of the assets they manage for you, or through commission, which means the planner is paid each time he buys or sells an investment.Fee-only payment structures can be more desirable to some clients, as there’s no financial incentive based on assets under management for a planner to buy or sell, whereas working on commission encourages planners to make trades, rather than solely look out for your best interest—called a “fiduciary” duty. (You want to be sure that the planner you choose is a fiduciary.)
LearnVest Planning Services provides the services of fee-only Certified Financial Planners™. Get started for free with a 15-minute financial consultation.
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“If a financial planner tells you that she can outperform the market, that’s a major red flag,” Vient explains. “In fact, due to government regulations, it’s illegal to advertise statements that promise a specific return.”Outperforming the market—that is, getting better investment returns than the market average—is extremely difficult to do consistently, and requires taking a lot of risks with your investments. It’s rare to find a financial planner who can consistently outperform the market—and results are never guaranteed. Either way, in the pursuit of these high returns, she’ll be exposing your investments to much higher risk than you may be comfortable with.
Instead, look for a CFP® who, when looking at your portfolio, can advise on proper asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon, as well as through economic ups and downs.
4. She Doesn’t Ask About Your Financial Goals
“Your planner isn’t just there to crunch the numbers,” Vient advises. “She’s helping you make a plan for your money and your life. You should be looking for someone who has similar values to you.”Ideally, you’ll likely want to work with someone who is in a similar life stage. Are you a parent? A planner with children may be better able to understand your need to save for college. Does your CFP® have a specialty? Some planners have an area of expertise, like insurance, estate planning, divorce or retirement—a fact you might want to consider if that’s a particular need of yours.
When meeting a potential planner, remember that you’re allowed to ask questions about their experience and priorities: “Do you think it’s more important to save for retirement or pay off debt? How do you feel about supporting kids through college? How do you mitigate investment risk as your clients get older?”
The choices you make with your money are intensely personal. The person who helps you make these choices should be able to understand and accept your financial priorities, and help you use your money to meet them.
5. His Management Style Makes You Uncomfortable
Financial planners can manage your money for you or manage your money with you. As different people have different needs when it comes to money management, there is no right way to work with a planner—it’s up to you to decide how hands-on you want him to be.
When you sign on with a financial planner, there will be a written agreement of how the two of you will manage your money. Read this carefully, and ask questions if you’re unsure about anything. Are you signing your accounts over to this planner? Will he check in with you before making a trade, or when rebalancing your accounts? If you’re uncomfortable with anything in the agreement, bring it up immediately.Learn more about LearnVest Planning and our financial planners by visiting learnvest.com. To book your free consultation today, email FA_Support@learnvest.com or complete your request online.
LearnVest Planning Services is a registered investment adviser. The opinions expressed in this article are that of LearnVest Planning Services, a registered investment adviser. The advice provided may not be suitable for your individual situation and you should discuss your situation with a financial professional.
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Surprised that he didn't follow up with a question regarding organic peanut butter and storage.
Why don't you ever step into elevators I'm standing in and say things loud enough for everyone to hear?
-Dejected Rolling Stone Writer
I simply must figure out a way to brag about Jamie Dimon recognizing me on the elevator a few months ago…EUREKA!! Bloviate in the NYT!
- J. Nocera
Actually, the NYT has lots to do with the people of this country (de verker off de peeple) hating banks.
-Boris, Natasha et al.
Well put.
Whatever do you mean?
-Gretch Morgs
headphones on, anus relaxed, right leg raised slightly
I would have avoided the commentary and just asked Jamie if he could hit "11" for me.
I doubt Jamie Dimon knows or cares who Joe Nocera is, and this elevator incident took place in the depths of the NYT imagination department.
Let me think Jamie, maybe it's because the Fed is sitting on a 3 trillion dollar pile of shit which is causing the price of everything people need to live to skyrocket, or that the 1 Trillion dollars in deposits you sit on giving zero return to savers is subsidizing your earnings power while other industries like my own have fallen into the toilet because we don't have the largesse of our friends on the board of the Fed bailing us out anytime there is a potential hiccup in our risk profile. D-bag.
-NY Times apologist
Joe you sir, are a moron
You're a moron if you think Dimon doesn't know who Nocera is, as part of his job is to meet with reporters, particularly high-profile ones and JoNo is most certainly on that list.
-not a fan of JoNo but also not a fan of stupidity
That is very well put.
I bet Jamie wishes it was Bess on that elevator, and not for a story.
So the banks *owe* you a higher NOMINAL rate of return? Interesting. For a retard.
"I doubt Jamie Dimon knows…who Joe Nocera is"
You're not very bright, are you?
Sir, its not the New York Times that hates banks, it was/is certain investors that are short the banks and plant stories with "reporters" for the New York Times that hate banks.
- G. Morgenson
But a grammatical disaster.
-NY Times Editorial Board
You don't like banks? Stop borrowing money.
He hates these banks!
- Navan R. Johnson
mine goes to 11 also..
You know you drive me up the wall the way you make good on all the nasty tricks you pull.
Seems like we're makin' up more than we're makin' love.
What does a water supply-linked derivative have to do with this?
I'm Joe Nocera and I'm white trash.
Sounds like the head of IB at an unnamed 2nd tier bank is masquerading as an NYT apologist.
Apparently poor Joe is unaware they are doing God's work…
Have to say, I'd pay a lot more attention to the NYT et al. if they demonstrated an actual ability to differentiate between, say, a derivatives trader, the head of healthcare banking at XYZ & Co., a middle-manager in the Sioux Falls credit-card receivables processing department, and the stock loan department. Instead, everyone even tangentially related to the industry is a "banker." It's as if it were ok to characterize every single employee at the Times as a "reporter."
Signed,
-23 y/o Lazard Quant??
God sometimes I forget how much I secretly love the New York Times.
-Piper Jaffray Trade Settlement Analyst
Good question. Why is that?
Points for artfully dodging the question.
I'd eat Jamie up like a succulent piece of sweetbread.
- Frank Bruni
Why don't you come ride on a REAL elevator Mr. Nocera.
-Vickles
and for my next brilliant idea… @JPMelevator
yessss….gooooood……tell me more……
-G' latch
As if it were ok to characterize any employee at the Times as a "reporter."
Fixed it.
In Soviet Russia, bank hates you!
Welcome to Dealbreaker Joe!
Joe,
You have part of my attention – you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of JP Morgan, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.
-JD
Nobody wants to read a twitter stream about planning meetings and TPS report cover sheets.
Put we would love the to read about the maxed out debit cards, Mossad side jobs, and giving your flat key to someone you loath.
JD and I were in an elevator and it was a pleasant ride until he farted. Then it was an uncomfortable, smelly ride.
- JPM Intern
Hey Taibbi, why does Rolling Stone hate "equine-swimmers?"
- NYT
LAZ is probably outperforming your bank this quarter buddy….just sayin'
The Israeli secret service is always watching
- JP Morgan Vice Grip Quant
I have clients?
So @HighFlyingJPMElevator
Seems I've hit a homerun on that guess.
The biggest value add an intern can do for a CEO is learn to love his gas. Love the gas JPM Intern! LOVE IT!
- Peter Griffin, JP Morgan MD
Still glad I defected.
Thanks for nothing.
-Crew, Red October
I was once in an elevator at GS with Dan Loeb and David Einhorn.
-Jayson Blair
as a horse seaman quant what would you you do on a
given day ?
this may be your best insight yet
Three letters my man, M – H -S ……
the chronicle loves banks
One ping only please.
Dan Loeb and David Einhorn are friends of mine.
-Equinox Steam Room Lurker
Bill Ackman and I frequently ride the same elevator, although I get off before he does.
-triple entendre
you see this is why i used a private elevator.
place is full of cocksuckers
Minetta's – Hour – Sitting on far end of bar?
maybe joke of the day
Nah, more like Mendez Boxing, How about we Spar?
i thot pershing was in thomo building ?
Nomo that is…
( phone at a bar patio )
Do you just strive to say the dumbest possible thing every time you comment? I made that joke and even I'd rate it as "mediocre to intermediate."
I don't fight hispanics.
it is day two jim.
lets be more precise with thi.gs
funny part was next day…
JJD shows up wearing a He Hate Me jersey.
shuda seen joes shame
Nice try sharpton
I'm glad you got a lot of thumbs up on this but Jamie Dimon definitely knows who Joe Nocera is, despite your doubts.
All these guys are friends of mine
Gentleman, what do you think.
Gayest comment of the year
I also know
what no boat metaphors ?
not anymore
You rang?
Fuck you Thunder! You can suck my Dick!
Ping, no ring
- GS ping v ring quant
WTF this comment should be after ping's. Where's my bailout?
- UBS comments clearing MD
I predicted not only that they would meet on a elevator but that he would know.
Ha.
- guy who laughed at the above.
Deposits subsidizing earnings power? Isn't that kind of what banks do: take deposits and lend them out at a higher rate? Also, pretty sure the low rate of interest has more to do with the Fed than JD.
Did you mean NY Times apologist or employee?
Bess, sounds like you have intimate knowledge of JD and not from facebook. Pray tell.
Totally! Only people within the industry who nuance their arguments so as to spare the vast majority of individuals working in the sector from moral approbation are credible. Just like when the N.Y. Times confused the S.A. and the S.S. in 1943, utterly destroying the Grey Lady's reputation.
Hey permaguest: you proved his point. You may think those bullshit words you used define a "bank". Most of us out here define those words as "robbery", "lying sacks of shit", "I'm sorry, you don't qualify", that'll be 23 percent vigorish to you dedicated monthly payor". Crawl out of your Bentley and shake hands (ok use a glove) with someone who has to breathe air instead of the pure oxygen you inhale.
You prove our point. Not only do you not make any sense but it's clear that you carry a large chip on what I must assume to be broad, sloped shoulders.
And since I javascript doesn't seem to want to work for me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEkWH8DB7b0
i was on the verge of tears as he stepped in, his hair smelling of unbashful success, his suit ironed with the steam of honourable progress, the elevator filled with the dreams of pre-pubescent riches as i was certain he wouldn't recognize me, but then he yelled at me, and relief washed over me in an awesome wave.
-Joe Nocero
I bet Bess wishes it was Bess on that elevator.
Jamie Dimon is on the Board of the NY Fed I think that was the point of this post.
-NY Times fact checker
You must be the steam room lurker…
:)
-DSK
u mad bro?
this: http://data.whicdn.com/images/4317046/tumblr_la3x…
- actual 23 y/o Lazard Analyst
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