As you may have heard, earlier today, people working in 2 World Financial Center were evacuated from the building after a suspicious package was flagged by security. Initial reports claimed it contained a grenade; obviously this was cause for alarm and would have continued to be had the NYPD determined it to be an actual grenade and not a “grenade-like novelty item,” mounted on a plaque with a sign that says “Complaint Dept. Pull Pin.” Now that it’s clear everyone is safe (and at least mildly buzzed), a few questions need answering.

1. Who sent this thing? Was it:
a) A person whose sense of humor involves putting something like the above (or a sign that reads “I can only please one person per day. Today isn’t your day…and tomorrow don’t look good either”) on her desk
b) An idiot friend of someone who works in the building
c) An rival bank trying to disrupt Nomura trading
d) other

2. Assuming the item was purchased by someone working in the building, when do you think it dawned on him or her that they were responsible for having the place evacuated? Right away or after they’d been standing outside for a while, shooting the shit with colleagues and speculating as to what was going on ? And at that point what level of terror washed over them? Like, “This is awkward” or “[I need to get out of here NOW]”

3. What will the consequences for the sender be, legal and professional? Senior Jailhouse Correspondent Matt puts the probability of prison time at 1.37 percent.

135 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (135)

  1. Posted by Guest | April 12, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    1. a

    2. outside

    3. a stern warning

    – Person who has a need to finish tests quickly

  2. Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | April 12, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    Hey, at least you can tell all your now FORMER Co-workers you were responsible for the largest impromptu happy hour anyone has ever thrown.

  3. Posted by Strong sell | April 12, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    Phil Falcone had the wrong address of the FCC

  4. Posted by Cut Me | April 12, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    I am bit flabergasted here. I would have expected mailroom clerks to hate their lives enough to hope that it blows up.

  5. Posted by Joke Weasel | April 12, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    Hey, pull my finger…

    snicker…snicker…snicker

  6. Posted by Guest | April 12, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    V. McCrudden sent one of these to every building in lower Manhattan

  7. Posted by @Otterom | April 12, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    1. Dumb gift all the way around. Good for about 0.25 seconds of humor.
    2. Shows how jittery offices have become.
    3. Is Amazon.com packaging now considered "suspicious?"

  8. Posted by Wilbur | April 12, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    SEC too…

  9. Posted by one | April 12, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    Wasn't me this time.

    -The Situation

  10. Posted by Hmm... | April 12, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    Not a bad idea.

    -B. Diamond

  11. Posted by guest | April 12, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    You're an idiot.

  12. Posted by guest | April 12, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    Jump on a grenade please.

  13. Posted by guest | April 12, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    Er, his would be real.

  14. Posted by PermaGuestII | April 12, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    Can't be "c"– nobody cares enough about Nomura.

  15. Posted by Guest | April 12, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    If a flaming amazon box shows up on your doorstep, stomp away freely. Nothing suspicious could be going on there.

    – Those damn neighborhood kids

  16. Posted by Staring atthe Hudson | April 12, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    Too soon

  17. Posted by Guest | April 12, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Don't put it out with your boots, Ted.

    Don't tell me my business, Devil Woman. Call the fire department, this one's outta control.

  18. Posted by Mobesby | April 12, 2012 at 4:08 PM

    Idiot demure?

  19. Posted by The Penguin | April 12, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    He called the shit poop!

    Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  20. Posted by Tanker2Banker | April 13, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    The package was likely from Occupy Wall Street, as those dirty hippies can't afford real grenades, but thanks to their government debt funded educations were smart enough to not fill in the return address.

    Do you mind if I take a quick look around your financial center? I'm afraid you may have hippies.

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