As you may have heard, earlier today, people working in 2 World Financial Center were evacuated from the building after a suspicious package was flagged by security. Initial reports claimed it contained a grenade; obviously this was cause for alarm and would have continued to be had the NYPD determined it to be an actual grenade and not a “grenade-like novelty item,” mounted on a plaque with a sign that says “Complaint Dept. Pull Pin.” Now that it’s clear everyone is safe (and at least mildly buzzed), a few questions need answering.
1. Who sent this thing? Was it:
a) A person whose sense of humor involves putting something like the above (or a sign that reads “I can only please one person per day. Today isn’t your day…and tomorrow don’t look good either”) on her desk
b) An idiot friend of someone who works in the building
c) An rival bank trying to disrupt Nomura trading
2. Assuming the item was purchased by someone working in the building, when do you think it dawned on him or her that they were responsible for having the place evacuated? Right away or after they’d been standing outside for a while, shooting the shit with colleagues and speculating as to what was going on ? And at that point what level of terror washed over them? Like, “This is awkward” or “[I need to get out of here NOW]“
3. What will the consequences for the sender be, legal and professional? Senior Jailhouse Correspondent Matt puts the probability of prison time at 1.37 percent.