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Who Didn’t Realize Sending Packages Containing Fake Grenades Was Something This Office Frowned Upon?

As you may have heard, earlier today, people working in 2 World Financial Center were evacuated from the building after a suspicious package was flagged by security. Initial reports claimed it contained a grenade; obviously this was cause for alarm and would have continued to be had the NYPD determined it to be an actual grenade and not a “grenade-like novelty item,” mounted on a plaque with a sign that says “Complaint Dept. Pull Pin.” Now that it’s clear everyone is safe (and at least mildly buzzed), a few questions need answering.

1. Who sent this thing? Was it:
a) A person whose sense of humor involves putting something like the above (or a sign that reads “I can only please one person per day. Today isn’t your day…and tomorrow don’t look good either”) on her desk
b) An idiot friend of someone who works in the building
c) An rival bank trying to disrupt Nomura trading
d) other

2. Assuming the item was purchased by someone working in the building, when do you think it dawned on him or her that they were responsible for having the place evacuated? Right away or after they’d been standing outside for a while, shooting the shit with colleagues and speculating as to what was going on ? And at that point what level of terror washed over them? Like, “This is awkward” or “[I need to get out of here NOW]”

3. What will the consequences for the sender be, legal and professional? Senior Jailhouse Correspondent Matt puts the probability of prison time at 1.37 percent.

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135 Responses to “Who Didn’t Realize Sending Packages Containing Fake Grenades Was Something This Office Frowned Upon?”

  1. Guest says:

    1. a

    2. outside

    3. a stern warning

    – Person who has a need to finish tests quickly

  2. Guy with A.D.D. says:

    Hey, at least you can tell all your now FORMER Co-workers you were responsible for the largest impromptu happy hour anyone has ever thrown.

  3. Strong sell says:

    Phil Falcone had the wrong address of the FCC

  4. Cut Me says:

    I am bit flabergasted here. I would have expected mailroom clerks to hate their lives enough to hope that it blows up.

  5. Joke Weasel says:

    Hey, pull my finger…

    snicker…snicker…snicker

  6. Guest says:

    V. McCrudden sent one of these to every building in lower Manhattan

  7. @Otterom says:

    1. Dumb gift all the way around. Good for about 0.25 seconds of humor.
    2. Shows how jittery offices have become.
    3. Is Amazon.com packaging now considered "suspicious?"

    • guest says:

      You're an idiot.

    • Guest says:

      If a flaming amazon box shows up on your doorstep, stomp away freely. Nothing suspicious could be going on there.

      – Those damn neighborhood kids

      • Guest says:

        Don't put it out with your boots, Ted.

        Don't tell me my business, Devil Woman. Call the fire department, this one's outta control.

        • The Penguin says:

          He called the shit poop!

          Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

  8. one says:

    Wasn't me this time.

    -The Situation

  9. Hmm... says:

    Not a bad idea.

    -B. Diamond

  10. PermaGuestII says:

    Can't be "c"– nobody cares enough about Nomura.

  11. Tanker2Banker says:

    The package was likely from Occupy Wall Street, as those dirty hippies can't afford real grenades, but thanks to their government debt funded educations were smart enough to not fill in the return address.

    Do you mind if I take a quick look around your financial center? I'm afraid you may have hippies.

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