Back in March, a woman named Anna Gristina was arrested for allegedly running a whorehouse out of an East 78th Street apartment, with plans to go global. In that time, we’ve learned a good bit about Gristina (who goes by Anna Scotland professionally), who currently remains incarcerated on Riker’s Island. For instance, at the time of her arrest, she was meeting with a friend and broker who was supposedly helping her line up financing to expand the venture (which she maintains was an upscale dating site), she paid her hookers well, and she was an animal lover. Emphasis on the past tense because apparently anyone can be an animal lover until push comes to shove and mommy needs money for legal fees. Then it’s good-bye lush accommodations upstate, hello slaughterhouse.
An accused Upper East Side brothel boss is so hard up for cash that she’s had to evict most of the pigs she keeps in her upstate home to save money while she remains locked up in jail on $2 million bond. The family of accused madam Anna Gristina, who’s got a soft spot for porkers, has sent away all but two of the seven rescue pigs she keeps in order to save the hundreds of dollars per month she spends in upkeep for them at her Orange County farm, her husband said yesterday. “My son was really upset,” Gristina’s hubby Kelvin Gorr said of the decision to relocate those hogs to two other farms. “He was crying,” Gorr said of the boy, 9-year-old Nicholas. “Anna, too, was upset,” the real-estate agent Gorr said. “But there’s nothing we can do.” But Gorr assured, “They’re not going to be eaten.”
Oh really? That’s interesting because most people wouldn’t make a claim like “they’re not going to be eaten” without explaining what WILL happen to them instead, unless they are prevaricating in flagrante.
So. Apparently it falls to us. If anyone has an interest in taking in one of these pigs, speak up now. Lest the idea cross your mind that a certain hedge fund manager will be opening his doors, let me stop you right there– there’s no room at that inn.