Planning to knock off work early every evening from now through Labor Day and/or take the edge off life with some adult beverages during lunch because it’s summer and you deserve it? Want to have “fun” but not do anything “crazy“? If parking your car in a stranger’s backyard via their house constitutes a line you don’t want to cross, and you have roughly the same alcohol tolerance as a 21 year-old female, consider telling co-workers and friends you want to be cut off at a dozen drinks. Fourteen, max.

A Long Island prosecutor said today that a preliminary field test indicated that the Brooklyn woman who crashed through a house had consumed about 15 drinks before the accident. Police arrested 21-year-old Sophia Anderson following the crash Monday at 4 a.m. in Huntington. Anderson is accused of DWI after her red Mercedes-Benz CLK 320 in the rear of 96-year-old Helen Indiere’s once-tidy home. The car smashed through the home, ending up in the backyard. She suffered scrapes and bruises, while an unidentified passenger was not injured. Indiere who was inside the house and her caretaker were miraculously not injured. Anderson pleaded not guilty on Tuesday. Bail was set at $50,000. A Suffolk County prosecutor said a preliminary field test at the crash scene indicated a blood-alcohol reading of 0.30. Each alcoholic drink raises the level by about 0.02. The legal limit is 0.08. Anderson’s lawyer questioned the validity of the sobriety test.

NY prosecutor: Woman drunk drove car through house [WSJ]
B’klyn woman had ‘over a dozen drinks’ in her at time of crash: DA [NYP]

103 comments (hidden for your protection)
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Comments (103)

  1. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    So where's Matt? Did he, like, lie about his passing the Level 1 and has now taken a week off to furiously study for the make up?

  2. Posted by demographic | May 29, 2012 at 5:18 PM

    Area Drunk & Wollensky

    -[Redacted Penn Undegrad '12]

  3. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    tag of the day: mug shots that say “call the cops i don’t give a fuck”

  4. Posted by Bandersnatch | May 29, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    Her shirt collar is all over the place. A messy collar always gives the wrong first impression.

  5. Posted by Let them eat dog | May 29, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    And that is the image of her that will come up on a google image search for as long as there is a google.

  6. Posted by stylish guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    True, though I thought it was impressive that at least half of it was still popped. You can take the douchbag loving fall down drunk out of the frat house but you can't take the frat house out of the douchebag loving fall down drunk.

  7. Posted by CFA > MBA | May 29, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    Did she have margaritas? Maybe she was also studying for her CFA

  8. Posted by stylish guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:23 PM

    ^^^ …Or something like that. I don't know, I've been drinking.

  9. Posted by investorcluzo | May 29, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    the popped collar says: "meet me at culture club"; the busted face says: "meet me at minetta's"

  10. Posted by William Jennings | May 29, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    Yeesh, way safer to take a cab…at least for you.

  11. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:37 PM

    Fucking pre-fab piece of shit.

    - Helen Indiere

  12. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    i would wager my net worth x 10 that her passenger was some guy expecting a drunk hookup. there are people stupid enough to get into a car driven by someone who has had 5 drinks. 10 even. But 15? not for a simple ride home.

  13. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    Agreed.

  14. Posted by He Who Ponders | May 29, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Cost of a cab vs. cost of driving yourself after 15 drinks = serious risk managers vs. whatever JP Morgan has now

  15. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    Greenberg described the male passenger as “very polite” and said he had to climb over his dazed pal before he could help her get out of the car.
    http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/home_now_drive

  16. Posted by Concerned 3rd Party | May 29, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    I hope her face doesn't look like that all the time.

  17. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    Ill have whatever she's having.

    -UBS MD

  18. Posted by gab | May 29, 2012 at 5:48 PM

    A face only an airbag could love.

  19. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:50 PM

    Tough but fair.

  20. Posted by Shecky Hoffa | May 29, 2012 at 5:53 PM

    She's obviously not a union member because she has the look of a scab.

  21. Posted by Alan | May 29, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Haha driving drunk. Classic.

  22. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:57 PM

    Ya got that?

  23. Posted by Henny Daingerfield | May 29, 2012 at 6:00 PM

    A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. An Irish cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have you been?"

    "I’ve been to the pub," slurs the drunk.

    "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you’ve had quite a few.

    "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.

    "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"

    "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I’d gone deaf."

  24. Posted by structured prods | May 29, 2012 at 6:07 PM

    Driving drunk through a house? Try stabbing your driver, then we can talk.

    -Felonious Director from Morgan Stanley

  25. Posted by Evel Knievel | May 29, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    Airbags only go off the first time you his the thouse wall. As you pass through the living room, past the kitchen, past the hallway, past the half bath, past the mid century modern furniture, over the wool rug, beside the tea tray on casters, past the violets set up to catch the south sun, past the lamp table, past the lamps set to go off via "The Clapper", past the 4 week medicine container, past the LIfe Alert module, past 4 issues of Wrestle Mania Magazine, past 2 stacks of Readers Digest, past the walker with tennis balls on the back 2 legs, past the signed Liberace fan picture and finally into and through the second wall , there is no airbag to protect you.

  26. Posted by Laxbro | May 29, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Recently, a routine police patrol was parked outside a local neighborhood bar up in Connecticut.

    Late in the evening, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes with the officer quietly watching.

    After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his own car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally, he started his car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a dry night), flicked the hazard flasher on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles.

    At last he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the street.

    The police officer having patiently waited all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and carried out a breathalyser test.

    To his amazement the breathalyser indicated no evidence that the man consumed alcohol at all!

    Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyser equipment must be broken."

    "I doubt it," said the man. "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

  27. Posted by Hypester | May 29, 2012 at 8:08 PM

    As much as it pains me to +1 your bro ass…

  28. Posted by Brah | May 29, 2012 at 8:29 PM

    That's an old fucking joke, bro

    - Bro that told this joke back when he was a bro, brah

  29. Posted by Caption Ahab | May 29, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    You already did, but you're good, here's another

    - UBS risk management bartender

  30. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 8:40 PM

    Sometimes I wonder if I'm funny, or just good at recognizing quality humor and then remembering it for future retelling purposes.

  31. Posted by Andrew Klein | May 29, 2012 at 9:06 PM

    That was actually me, again.

  32. Posted by Lizzie Grubman | May 29, 2012 at 10:25 PM

    Try using reverse next time…

  33. Posted by TheJokeBriefer | May 29, 2012 at 10:28 PM

    You do the world a service when you can be both, dear guest. It takes a funny person, or someone with a "sense" of humor, to recognize the valuable tool a joke can be. When you harvest a joke and store it away to be released at the proper moment, you are not being "joke-tose intolerant". You are attempting to brighten the day of the downtrodden, the depressed and the self absorbed. A good joke is like a gentle slap in the face, a wake up call or a mint on your bed when you retire for the evening. Speaking of that, your Joke Briefer returned to his hotel room in Manhattan one night and as a result of his high blood alcohol level collapsed on his bed fully dressed where a chocolate mint had been placed by attentive hotel staff. When awakened the next morning, a self examination revealed a large dark stain where the chocolate had melted on his pants that were not removed prior to retiring for the evening and created quite a fright. Not all jokes are chocolate mints, but it's the thought that counts.

  34. Posted by TGFBV | May 29, 2012 at 10:39 PM

    After the 2038 Senatorial Elections:

    Announcing Senator Sophia Anderson and her husband, John Blutarsky III.

  35. Posted by Guest | May 30, 2012 at 12:51 AM

    Ever since I can (and can't) remember…

  36. Posted by unwanted guest | May 30, 2012 at 2:25 AM

    The cuts and bruises may suggest otherwise but the smile says it was all worth it.

  37. Posted by SizzUS | May 30, 2012 at 8:13 AM

    You had me at, "Area Drunk Offers Handy."

  38. Posted by Deleveraging | May 30, 2012 at 8:35 AM

    That reminds me of the time I was so drunk the valet had to drive me home.

  39. Posted by Guest | May 30, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    Thank you. I've never thought of it like that. I thought funny people create the joke and put it out there to induce laughter — or an awkward silence or the dreaded sycophantic chuckle — and vultures like me took what worked like some a comedy plagiarizer. I get all the praise for being the funny guy, while the engineer of the joke probably sulks about the parts I discarded. Further, I don't repeat routines to brighten the day, I just want people to like me. And I read once that girls like funny guys. I didn't find myself that funny, so I had to adapt by theft.

  40. Posted by StillHaveBlueBalls | May 30, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Got into her car to hit that after my 12th drink

  41. Posted by Milton Berle | May 30, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    Theft of jokes? Fine by me….

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    mary jo kopechne was unavailable for comment

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    jeez- she's a dead ringer for casey anthony-

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    … Andhefucked u up the poop chute with lube

  45. Posted by Peter R Fletcher | September 18, 2012 at 3:40 AM

    This reminds me of my stubborn days back in college! I used to climb the garage to go inside our place drunk! The cool thing now though, is that we already have those garage door remote control and I have my own! I get to go in our house drunk, and free from those bruises!

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