Earlier this month, the Journal explored the difficulty MF Global customers have encountered in attempting to get their “missing” money back, after the firm went down for the dirt nap last October. One woman who can relate all too well? Barack Obama AKA Angela Dozier-Carter, who is owed $150 trillion and then some, of which she hasn’t seen a dime.

Sadly, it doesn’t look like President Dozier-Carter will be seeing any money any time soon, as MF Global’s lawyers have filed a motion dismiss her claim, calling “the return of trillions and billions of dollars…patently absurd.” In related news, this isn’t the first time ADCBO has been screwed out of money rightfully owed to her.

On January 27, 2010, Ms. Dozier-Carter filed two more complaints in the Court of Federal Claims, identified as case numbers 10-63 and 10-64. In Complaint 10-63, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $25 million as a reward for capturing Saddam Hussein. In Complaint 10-64, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $400,000 in annual salary and expenses because she allegedly “took the Oath of Office for the 44th President of the United States of America as Barack Obama[.]“

This is far from over.

MF Global Motion To Expunge Claim [PDF]
Dozier-Carter v. U.S. [Leagle]
Customer Divide At MF Global [WSJ]

33 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (33)

  1. Posted by Anonymous | May 29, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    "missing"….
    i see this a game
    let's try llama, vibrator, hamburger, or wait… MONEY.

  2. Posted by Guest_of_Honor | May 29, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    Boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

    – UBS HR Quant

  3. Posted by Douglas Powers | May 29, 2012 at 2:13 PM

    It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "President," thank you very much.

    ~Douglas Powers EvMD

  4. Posted by LARRY | May 29, 2012 at 2:16 PM

    I SAY WE LET HER BE PRESIDENT- CANT BE ANY WORSE THAN THE REAL OBAMA

  5. Posted by Goldmember | May 29, 2012 at 2:18 PM

    Obviously the claim accounted for inflation likely to occur prior to settlement.

    Well played……..

  6. Posted by John | May 29, 2012 at 2:19 PM

    A+ for effort.
    D- for undertanding the difference between billions of dollars and something like 15X national debt.

  7. Posted by Darryl & Darryl | May 29, 2012 at 2:20 PM

    Hey Bro – between the "shift" and "tab keys" there is this new-ish key I'd like you to try pressing.

  8. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 2:27 PM

    Hmmm, We have some IG-9 exposure we can fulfill Ms. Carter's request with, please send us the wiring instructions.

    -J Dimon

  9. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    These look to be legitimate
    -UBS General Counsel

  10. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    That's not your mother, it's a man, baby!

  11. Posted by ILoveLamp | May 29, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    I don't know about you, but I was totally on-board with her claim until I saw that that her balances for: a) cash; b) open trade equity; c) foreign futures open equity and; d) foreign futures cash values were ALL EXACTLY $278.3 bn. I mean, c'mon, that's just too coincidental to be believable.

  12. Posted by Put_Option | May 29, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    A UGMA custodian cannot also be the beneficiary.

    - V. Diesel
    Retail Brokerage
    JT Marlin a parent company of UBS

  13. Posted by Guest III | May 29, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Hold your horses. She/Mr. President/They are just estimating.

  14. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 29, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    Go back to http://www.weather.com, Brick.

  15. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 3:55 PM

    This is exactly how I fill out all of my paperwork as well …check every box and round to the closest quarter trillon.

  16. Posted by Sean | May 29, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    There's a new whale in town, and her name is Barry Obama.

  17. Posted by CAP | May 29, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Your need to type in all capital letters makes you suck donky dick.

  18. Posted by lolwut | May 29, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    Would have been better if she signed her name as Dr. Evil.

  19. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    I love the way she almost, sort of checked box 7 (Joint account), and then thought better of it. Shows a real attention to detail

  20. Posted by guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    Me too. She was like, wait, no, reel it back, checking box 7 would make me look crazy.

  21. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 5:28 PM

    I thought the same thing as both of you guys. Want to all be friends?

  22. Posted by tuxedoshirt | May 29, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    My God. Not box 7. Any box but box 7.

  23. Posted by Vinny Gambini | May 29, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    My client, Angela Dozier-Carter, has submitted a legitimate claim, your honor.

    A question for MF Global's lawyers, if I may. How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?

  24. Posted by S.T. Dees | May 29, 2012 at 6:30 PM

    Magik grits…

  25. Posted by Guest | May 29, 2012 at 8:07 PM

    The real accomplishment here is the 556.89 Billion increase from beginning to ending balance.

  26. Posted by TGFBV | May 29, 2012 at 11:29 PM

    I knew Barack Obama. I served with Barack Obama in the Senate. You, madam, are no Barack Obama.

  27. Posted by Guest | May 30, 2012 at 7:03 AM

    It's only 15 Trillion, there is a decimal point there.
    I only mention it because this is exactly the type of story where it's important to get your facts and numbers straight.

  28. Posted by 20/20 eyesight man | May 31, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    All the boxes have those little mini-checks in them, idiots.

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