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Woman Wants $150 Trillion-ish From MF Global, Thinks She Is Barack Obama

Earlier this month, the Journal explored the difficulty MF Global customers have encountered in attempting to get their “missing” money back, after the firm went down for the dirt nap last October. One woman who can relate all too well? Barack Obama AKA Angela Dozier-Carter, who is owed $150 trillion and then some, of which she hasn’t seen a dime.

Sadly, it doesn’t look like President Dozier-Carter will be seeing any money any time soon, as MF Global’s lawyers have filed a motion dismiss her claim, calling “the return of trillions and billions of dollars…patently absurd.” In related news, this isn’t the first time ADCBO has been screwed out of money rightfully owed to her.

On January 27, 2010, Ms. Dozier-Carter filed two more complaints in the Court of Federal Claims, identified as case numbers 10-63 and 10-64. In Complaint 10-63, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $25 million as a reward for capturing Saddam Hussein. In Complaint 10-64, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $400,000 in annual salary and expenses because she allegedly “took the Oath of Office for the 44th President of the United States of America as Barack Obama[.]”

This is far from over.

MF Global Motion To Expunge Claim [PDF]
Dozier-Carter v. U.S. [Leagle]
Customer Divide At MF Global [WSJ]

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33 Responses to “Woman Wants $150 Trillion-ish From MF Global, Thinks She Is Barack Obama”

  1. Anonymous says:

    "missing"….
    i see this a game
    let's try llama, vibrator, hamburger, or wait… MONEY.

  2. Guest_of_Honor says:

    Boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.

    — UBS HR Quant

  3. Douglas Powers says:

    It's Dr. Evil, I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called "President," thank you very much.

    ~Douglas Powers EvMD

  4. LARRY says:

    I SAY WE LET HER BE PRESIDENT- CANT BE ANY WORSE THAN THE REAL OBAMA

  5. John says:

    A+ for effort.
    D- for undertanding the difference between billions of dollars and something like 15X national debt.

  6. guest says:

    Hmmm, We have some IG-9 exposure we can fulfill Ms. Carter's request with, please send us the wiring instructions.

    -J Dimon

  7. Guest says:

    These look to be legitimate
    -UBS General Counsel

  8. ILoveLamp says:

    I don't know about you, but I was totally on-board with her claim until I saw that that her balances for: a) cash; b) open trade equity; c) foreign futures open equity and; d) foreign futures cash values were ALL EXACTLY $278.3 bn. I mean, c'mon, that's just too coincidental to be believable.

  9. Put_Option says:

    A UGMA custodian cannot also be the beneficiary.

    – V. Diesel
    Retail Brokerage
    JT Marlin a parent company of UBS

  10. Guest says:

    This is exactly how I fill out all of my paperwork as well …check every box and round to the closest quarter trillon.

  11. Sean says:

    There's a new whale in town, and her name is Barry Obama.

  12. lolwut says:

    Would have been better if she signed her name as Dr. Evil.

  13. Guest says:

    I love the way she almost, sort of checked box 7 (Joint account), and then thought better of it. Shows a real attention to detail

  14. Vinny Gambini says:

    My client, Angela Dozier-Carter, has submitted a legitimate claim, your honor.

    A question for MF Global's lawyers, if I may. How could it take you five minutes to cook your grits when it takes the entire grit-eating world 20 minutes?

  15. Guest says:

    The real accomplishment here is the 556.89 Billion increase from beginning to ending balance.

  16. TGFBV says:

    I knew Barack Obama. I served with Barack Obama in the Senate. You, madam, are no Barack Obama.

  17. Guest says:

    It's only 15 Trillion, there is a decimal point there.
    I only mention it because this is exactly the type of story where it's important to get your facts and numbers straight.

  18. Still waiting for your new daily peeg.

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