• 16 May 2012 at 3:01 PM

JPMorgan Isn’t Ready To Let Bruno Iksil Go

You can take your said to be leavings and stick them where the sun don’t shine for all Jamie Dimon cares!

Bruno Iksil, the London-based JPMorgan Chase & Co trader known as the “whale” believed to have been involved in the company’s $2 billion loss in derivatives, is still employed by JPMorgan, a spokeswoman for the bank said on Wednesday. Kristin Lemkau responded to a report on the New York Times website saying that Iksil is leaving the company. “He is still employed,” Lemkau said.

JPMorgan still employs “whale” trader [Reuters]
‘London Whale’ Said to Be Leaving JPMorgan [Dealbook]

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Comments (129)

  1. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    Emphasis on "is".

  2. Posted by Strong sell | May 16, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    He was about to leave and then they said

    "Hold Me
    Like The River Jordan
    And I Will Then Say To Thee
    You Are My Friend"

  3. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    Atta boy Jamie; way to stick to your guns.

    Actually, fuck 'em. Double down and hire K. Adoboli.

  4. Posted by Deja Vu | May 16, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    "still" = until he signs the confidentiality agreement

  5. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    JD: "Hey Ina, I'm under a bit of pressure here on this clawback thing"
    Ina: "OK, but you know I got it all tied up in the new house"
    JD: "Shit. But maybe we can work something out…that house, it has a pool?"
    Ina: "Yes"
    JD: "Saltwater?"
    Ina: "Of course."
    JD: "Good. We need somewhere to put the Whale for a while"

  6. Posted by InfiniteGuest | May 16, 2012 at 3:17 PM

    Had this been Barclays I would've bet the NYT had it right.

  7. Posted by Capt Ahab | May 16, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Thar he blows!

  8. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Hey! I'm at least 3x the trader he was!

    - J. Kerviel

  9. Posted by Shamu | May 16, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    It moved.

  10. Posted by guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    Joke Briefer?

  11. Posted by guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    if they do let him go, it is important that he walk out to a slow clap and the free willie soundtrack.

  12. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    Seals got it rough, man. You get past the Great Whites, almost all the way back to your patch of kelp or whatever and out of nowhere, boom, Killer Whale, game over. They should give those little guys guns or at least machetes or something, make it a fair fight. Getting eaten by a Great White would suck, can you even imagine?

    - guy on drugs

  13. Posted by Sean | May 16, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    I'll catch this bird for you, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods.

    -R. Mueller

  14. Posted by Brian Hunter | May 16, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    I've caught bigger.

  15. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    Hey Bruno, meet me at Minetta's Tavern Sea World Orlando. Slap me in the face with a halibut so I know its you.

  16. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    What am I, chopped liver?

    -N. Leeson

  17. Posted by Puck It | May 16, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    Whate: "Do you expect me to talk?"

    JD: "No, Mr. Iksil, I expect you to die."

  18. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Second

  19. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    And now for something, completely different.

  20. Posted by InfiniteGuest | May 16, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Barclays initially denied reports that Anna Chapman had ever worked for them.

  21. Posted by Best | May 16, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    Worst comment of the year.

  22. Posted by Bill Clinton | May 16, 2012 at 5:01 PM

    Yea but can you define it?

  23. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 16, 2012 at 5:40 PM

    Its… Its…

  24. Posted by TheJokeBriefer | May 16, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    Thank you for the followup, Infinite Guest. Your Joke Briefer, an energy market consultant from time to time, was dealing today with some characters in the energy business who were told several months ago by an investment bank we all know that Texas Intermediate was going to $125.00/bbl very soon due to Iranian drum beating and such a scenario has not come to pass and said oil people are a bit upset given that they were expecting a rally that never came based on quite expensive research. One of the energy firm's employees is an older gentleman, a "gentleman from Odessa" I would say, and a senior oil trader as a matter of fact, and he was quite profane in his pronouncements of their internal price forecasting skills, choice of investment banking advice and their personal styles of dress and accessories suggesting awful actions that they should take going forward and was so angry he forgot where he was in the conversation and decided to go to Woodrow's to cool off. It was, for your Joke Briefer, an interesting and honest moment to observe. The other traders retired to a place called Treasures. Like me I'm sure that they will submit their expenses to their management.

  25. Posted by Guest | May 16, 2012 at 9:12 PM

    What's wrong with this^? +1

  26. Posted by Spell Checker | May 16, 2012 at 9:29 PM

    He misspelled whale and JD is not Goldfinger. Sheesh!

  27. Posted by nachocheese | May 17, 2012 at 8:07 AM

    Bruno,

    When you are done there, call me. I will use you in a new Ad campaign.

    Tom Carvel

  28. Posted by JR Wirth | May 17, 2012 at 10:56 AM

    You don't let someone like that go until everything is unwound.

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