“Let The Wives And Children Of These Drunkards Be Confronted With, And Shamed By, The Grotesque Conduct Of Their Husbands And Fathers”

Last month, a fight broke out at the New York Athletic Club that a witness described as a “nondiscriminatory ragematch” involving “young people, old people, girls, members, and nonmembers,” which started as a tiff over a woman and “escalated into a brawl involving three fighting wolfpacks,” wherein “tables were overturned or moved to the room’s periphery to crate a lion’s pit for the battle,” a “fat pudgy kid came out of nowhere, laid out a larger man with a blow to the head and was tackled by a crowd,” approximately two noses were broken, and the police made three arrests. The club’s President was pretty, pretty embarrassed by the whole thing, as indicated in a letter to members in which he wrote, “I cannot state forcefully enough how abhorrent this even is to me…It is the responsibility of each and every member to protect and embellish the standing of the N.Y.A.C.” And while Manhattan prosecutors’ promise to go after the guy responsible for most of the damage ensures the shame NYAC officers are feeling won’t die down any time soon, perhaps they can take some small solace in the fact that they were only slapping each other with their hands.


Piedmont Driving Club Letter [PDF]

(hidden for your protection)
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259 Responses to ““Let The Wives And Children Of These Drunkards Be Confronted With, And Shamed By, The Grotesque Conduct Of Their Husbands And Fathers””

  1. Guest says:

    Fat AND pudgy? Wow, some kids just can't catch a break.

    (eagerly awaiting the tags for the impending Bankia-Spiderman beach towel post)

  2. S.M. says:

    How am I supposed to CHIP with that going on, Doug?

  3. Hootie J. (Ret.) says:

    Management frowns upon penis-whipping? Really??? Killjoys.

    • Ping says:

      If you don't like being hit in the face with a dick, then why are you passed out in the men's grill?

      -Guy who knows how to read the sign on the door

  4. E. Texas Gas Trader says:

    Incidents such as that would never happen in Houston.

  5. Fixed Income says:

    That's pretty close to what happened last weekend in Connecticut and if the summer goes as planned, it will happen every weekend through Labor Day.

  6. Cut Me says:

    That's nothing. Now if you can pick up the ball and tee….

  7. Quaker says:

    Drunk people playing golf? Horrific.

  8. Cliff Roberts says:

    I'd kill myself if I saw anything resembling that at Augusta.

  9. Texashedge says:

    "relations between the drunken golfers and rehearsal dinner did not improve"

    The missed opportunity for détente is for some reason my favorite part of the letter

  10. Judge Smails says:

    It's easy to grin
    When your ship comes in
    And you're rich by a hedge fund trick.
    But the man worthwhile,
    Is the man who can smile,
    When his face has been slapped by a dick.

  11. Mr. Underhill says:


    Attached find a "late" check in the amount of six months of "dues" as outlined on my "bill." My wife, children, and I expect that the status of our payment will cease to be publicized on boards around the club in light of the new information with which you have been provided.

  12. neerdeewell says:

    Should they be embellishing the standing of the AC to the point where it rivals the R and T or Union in self satisfaction?

  13. Karma says:

    Was the cock slap recipient an Alabama alum?
    'Cause then it would be ok.

  14. Guest says:

    "Shame those guilty of such an infraction" – the biggest shame is being a member of the NYAC. The NYAC is nothing more than a glorified NYSC! It is a far cry from the University Club or R&T where there are actual wait lists to join.

  15. Karl Spackler says:

    Night Putting, Danny.

    • Guest says:

      Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.

      • Karl Spackler says:

        Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness So you got that goin' for you…

    • Guest says:

      That would be Ty Webb, but thanks for playing, Carl. And, learn to spell while you're at it.

  16. Guest says:

    the term "member/member tournament" may have been confusing

    –Guy just trying to explain what happened here

  17. Guest says:

    I wonder if geyser oil trader ever had any incidents such as these?

    • Guest says:

      Look, dick, it's Geezer, not "geyser", and now thanks to your stupidity/lack of respect, I doubt we'll be hearing from him. Which pisses me off, as I really WOULD like to have heard what he had to say about this. Next time, just shut your mouth and let the grown ups do the talking.

  18. Guest says:

    Rumor has it Lynn Tilton is in the lobby of the NYAC right now asking how she can become a member.

  19. Deleveraging says:

    I hope Whover it was that picked up the ball with their ass cheeks, took a stroke and properly reported their GHIN.

    Peeing on the green, what do you think sand traps are for?

  20. Huck Finn says:

    "young people, old people, girls, members, and nonmembers" – sounds like a regular Tuesday night in my jaccuzzi.

  21. dobbie says:

    Since 1887, the Piedmont Driving Club has enjoyed a reputation as one of the most prestigious private clubs in the South. In keeping with its original purpose – the promotion of recreation and enjoyment for its members and their broken families – the Club provides outstanding athletic facilities to meet the homoerotic desires of the membership for golf, tennis, swimming, squash,tea-bagging,p-whipping,picking up golfballs with your butt cheecks and "other" fitness activities. Now in our second century, the Piedmont Driving Club continues to grow and is a dynamic part of Atlanta's rich heritage and promising future.

  22. Im_a_Dude says:

    i think this guy really should have researched Georgia law before wrote the letter. too much "i suspect it is a crime" to slap you penis on a passed out guys head.
    you never know in Georgia.

  23. Curly Howard says:

    nyac nyac nyac nyac nyac…

  24. guesticle says:

    He seems to take particular issue with "urinating on the green in the presence of a caddie," mentioning it specifically in bullet point three and summary item (ii) in the conclusion. My main question – is urinating on the green acceptable when the caddie has made himself scarce? I like to think so.

  25. Guest says:

    is this the man who ruined the buffet at the harrow club this morning?

  26. Guest says:

    Laxbro, how was Georgia?

  27. sme says:

    how does one go about joining the Peedmont Driving Club?…

  28. fish and guests says:

    Playing the 14th naked is illegal at Bushwood, sir, and I NEVER slice

  29. Laxbro says:

    Unreformed frat boys. Not that serious imo.

  30. Ty Webb says:

    You'll get nothing and like it

  31. Judge Smails says:

    Gambling is illegal at Bushwood sir, and I never slice.

  32. Bagger Vance says:

    This happened all the time in my era.

  33. James C. Blaine says:

    Other than that, I have no concerns.

  34. Guest says:

    So the letter's author is an attorney, who should have known better than to put everything in writing in such sordid elaborate detail — although the use of bullet points to describe such debauchery is impressive.

    • Southern Belle says:

      Haven't y'all figured out yet that the letter-writer leaked it to the press? Secrecy in a CC = no action other than sweeping it under the $200K Persian rug, Public airing = "Dang, now we gotta do something". I'll bet he, and possibly his wife/daughter, witnessed it, and he wants heads to roll!

  35. Bitchtern says:

    The fact this was a member/member tournament puts this club on my list of acceptable establishments. Unfortunately, I think the dues would take it off said list. Still epic.

  36. Wannabee says:

    Shit, I want to join this club. These guys sound like fun!

  37. harvey says:

    picking up a golfball with your bare ass cheeks is the NKI.

  38. UFO says:

    Typical Southern trash; take it out on the children and women instead of actually doing something about it. I suppose they'll throw the wives on the funeral pyre at a later date as well. Enjoy the Bibles, burquas, and bongs. Degenerates.

    – Northeastern US

    • Ty Webb says:

      I like the cut of your jib

    • Incitatus says:

      Yes, you've captured perfectly the essence of the South: moss in the trees, mint juleps, NASCAR, stoner Southern Baptists practicing suttee on their Afghani wives…

    • Southern Belle says:

      My dear fellow, Southern women are not frail flowers. We will handle the situations with our men quite handily. Southern men fear the wrath of their wives, God and excommunication from their country clubs, in that order. We will kindly, genteelly exercise our wrath in the most ladylike manner, with the Bible in one hand and the bylaws of the country club and the DAR in the other. If you are not Southern, you would not understand, bless your heart.

  39. Lynyrd Skynyrd says:

    A southern man don't need you around, anyhow…..

  40. Guest says:

    What an idiot….even if it is all true. I would think that this Author / Member is probably going to be socially burned at the stake. Nobody likes to see their club cast in such a negative light. Especially with vague allegations. Nobody likes a Snitch….. Kick him out too…. Jeez.

    • P whippy says:

      Careful who you are calling an idiot. You are the one with grille marks on your face….almost looks like you were grilling a mushroom.

      • Mr. Underhill says:

        Snitches end up with stitches six feet in the ground with the rest of the bitches…

  41. Helicopter Ben says:

    The author of the letter is a partner at Alston & Bird's bankruptcy practice:

    (Unintentionally) hilarious letter, Kit!

  42. BHO says:

    Silly white people in funny looking pants hitting a ball…… oh wait.. I thought this was baseball.

  43. Bro Jackson. says:

    Total Frat Move.

  44. bbder44 says:

    This party sounds awesome! May I come with next time?

  45. MHA says:

    I'm sorry but you have confused this event with Morgan Stanley's final pricing meeting on FB.

  46. Candace says:

    The author of the letter omitted the line that's been making the rounds. As he was buck naked approaching the 19 yr old female caddy one of the inebriants asked "have you seen my balls?" Comedy gold. The writer also didn't include details about an assault that allegedly took place. And who got called on the hot seat ? The poor employees who witnessed the debauchery who were in no position to stop it or stop serving the copious amount of alcohol being ordered and consumed. The names of the individuals have been coming out–one showed up to play golf at another club he belongs to a few days after the incident. So far just fines and suspensions but it's beginning to look like they'll be tossed out of the club.

    • Snooty Person says:

      I bet they were "corporate" members.

    • guest says:

      Tell us more, but why would a 19-year old girl be assigned to caddy for a bunch of drunk old men? The toad may have flashed his balls at her, but she'll own the family jewels before it's over.

      – Old Horsefeathers

    • Southern Belle says:

      I hope all the names are published to the public. They are probably members of multiple clubs in this area, and I don't want the slinking around my club without our knowing who they are! Miscreants!

  47. Dave Matthews says:

    Golf balls are child's play. I can pickup coconuts with my ass.

  48. Candace says:

    The female caddy was with another group. These weren't a bunch of old men–mainly late 30s to early 40s. Allegedly the main culprit is a third generation member. The feeling is that the PDC doesn't want to punish the fathers of these men by expelling them. Oh, and there's a rumor that another member was assaulted by one of the group.

  49. Johnny Rockets says:

    I'm 40 and wouldn't behave that way anywhere….college age, maybe a get out of jail free card with a suspension and fine. These "adults" should be expelled from the club…that would be my vote.

  50. wadely says:

    You guys missed a hell of a party! Sadly all that was missing was a beverage cart crap on.
    Oh well, perhaps next year.

    Gerard B. Finneran

  51. EHH says:

    Willing to bet that membership increases after this incident

  52. Sharptweeter says:

    Why should the wives and children be shamed by this? I heard that they lost rights to the club for three months. So for three months their wives and children can't use the pool. My blood would boil if I couldn't take my kids to the pool because their dad was reliving his frat days. College was twenty years ago. Just goes to show, money does not buy you class.

  53. TomW says:

    Just Peepgas hating on Charlie Croker & the boys

  54. Harry Weiner says:

    Messrs. Pope, Marshall, et al should be dismissed from PDC. This is what happens when 2nd/3rd generation $ are raised to think they are "special".

  55. Thurston Howell says:

    As a member of the PDC I can assure you that the worthless little snitch Alston and Bird attorney who released this letter will be persona non grata at the club, and may end up dead anyway. Keep in mind that this is the most exclusive club in the nation, the members being hand picked from the cities most elite families. Without the PDC there would be no Atlanta. I personally know these guys, they are cool dudes, Lovett and UNC graduates, and from 3rd generation money. They all played lax at UNC, and let me be clear, they will not be sanctioned for an epic frat party on the golf course, that most losers in Atlanta from second rate clubs like Cherokee, wished they had been at. Rather the worthless and ungrateful help will be fired for continuing to serve drinks, even though they knew these kids were drunk. This is just another liberal witch hunt to get back at old line WASP money and status. Wake up liberals, without us, you people have nothing, we are this nation!

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