• 08 May 2012 at 9:30 AM

Opening Bell: 05.08.12

When Facebook Met Wall Street (WSJ)
On Monday, investors piled into the hotel to hear what Mr. Zuckerberg and his lieutenants had to say about the offering. At one point, the line, leading to a second-floor ballroom where the meeting was scheduled to be held at 11:45 a.m., stretched down to the first floor and spilled out of the hotel for nearly half a city block. At least one investor waiting in line said he didn’t expect anything to be revealed that wasn’t already in Facebook’s securities filings. Rather, he was there to take in the show, and lunch (which was Cobb salad and grilled chicken). A 30-minute video about Facebook, which had been widely distributed before Monday, led the lunch, according to attendees. The next part of the presentation was briefly delayed by Mr. Zuckerberg’s absence. The CEO was in the bathroom, explained Chief Financial Officer David Ebersman to attendees. (Mr. Ebersman wore a navy suit.)

Yahoo CEO Apologizes in Memo, Board Meets (Reuters, earlier)
Yahoo Inc’s board convened on Monday afternoon to discuss the mounting upset surrounding Chief Executive Scott Thompson, who has apologized to employees after being accused last week by activist investor Daniel Loeb of padding his resume, a source with knowledge of the matter said…”I want you to know how deeply I regret how this issue has affected the company and all of you,” Thompson wrote in his first extended memo to employees since the disclosures emerged on May 3. “We have all been working very hard to move the company forward and this has had the opposite effect. For that, I take full responsibility, and I want to apologize to you.”

Billion-Dollar Traders Quit Wall Street For Hedge Funds (Bloomberg)
Wall Street’s biggest banks have lost almost two dozen of their most-profitable credit traders in the past 13 months as regulators limit the kind of risk-taking that amplified the housing crisis four years ago. As banks slash or defer pay and reduce the amount they’re willing to wager, the traders are seeing better opportunities at hedge funds and investment firms that seek to profit in markets lenders are retreating from.

Wall Street Banks Depressed In Secular Shift (Bloomberg)
To Kevin Conn, who has been analyzing bank stocks for 15 years, the investment climate for Wall Street’s biggest firms has entered the realm of science fiction. “It’s like that Ray Bradbury short story where it rains for months in a row,” said Conn, who works for Massachusetts Financial Services Co., referring to “The Long Rain,” published in 1950. “It’s one of these terrifically depressing short stories where the weather just never changes.”

Spain To Spend Billions On Bank Rescue (FT)
Spain is planning a state bail-out of Bankia, the country’s third biggest bank by assets, in a move likely to involve the injection of billions of euros of public money into the troubled lender. In an abrupt reversal of policy, the Spanish government, which had previously insisted that no additional state money would be needed to clean up the country’s banking sector, confirmed that an intervention was being prepared.

OWS Mom Snubs Plea (NYP)
Occupy Wall Street protester Stacey Hessler, 39, arrested in November for resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, yesterday refused an offer to have her charges dismissed and will instead face a trial…Hessler had originally planned to accept the judge’s offer of an adjournment contemplating dismissal, which erases the charge if the defendant stays out of trouble for six months, but later changed her mind, her attorney said.

SEC Orders Probe Of Watchdog Office (WSJ)
The Securities and Exchange Commission has ordered an independent inquiry into allegations of sexual misconduct by current and former staff working for its office of the inspector general, according to a person familiar with the matter. The complaint includes allegations that the misconduct compromised certain investigations of the SEC, according to the person familiar with the situation.

Apollo’s Profit More Than Doubles (WSJ)
For the first quarter, Apollo reported a profit of $98 million, or 66 cents a share, up from a year-earlier profit of $38.2 million, or 33 cents a share. Economic net income rose to $1.10 from 99 cents a year earlier. Analysts surveyed by Thomson Reuters expected 78 cents a share…Total revenue rose 12% to $776.7 million, far better than the $547 million expected by analysts.

Bank of America Offers Principal Reductions to 200,000 Homeowners (CNBC)
“If people get these things and toss them, they won’t be eligible,” says Ron Sturzenegger, the Bank of America executive charged with providing solutions to borrowers in need of mortgage assistance. But the offer is real, and eligible borrowers could get as much as $150,000 knocked off the balance of their mortgages. It is all part of the $25 billion settlement reached this year between federal and state agencies and the nation’s five largest mortgage servicers over fraudulent foreclosure document processing (so-called “robo-signing”).

No Repeating Slowdown Seen by U.S. With Banks to Housing (Bloomberg)
Rising auto sales, improving bank credit and stabilization of housing are among the signs the economy is more resilient now than it was around the same time in 2010 and 2011, according to Marisa Di Natale, an economist at Moody’s Analytics in West Chester, Pennsylvania. “From where we sit right now, we think the economy looks fundamentally stronger,” Di Natale said. “Surveys of business and consumer confidence are better, the labor market data looks a lot better than it did last year, even some of the housing data looks better.”

Ex-Tyco CFO: Gimme the $ I didn’t steal! (Reuters)
Former Tyco International Chief Financial Officer Mark Swartz, who is serving a prison sentence for looting the company, has sued for $60 million in retirement and other money he says he is owed. The lawsuit, which was made public yesterday, accuses Tyco of breach of contract and unjust enrichment for not paying him some $48 million from an executive retirement agreement, $9 million in reimbursement for New York taxes, and other money.

Winner Of Mexican Presidential Debate? Julia Orayen (AP)
Who won Mexico’s presidential debate? According to the media and Twitter frenzy, at least, the victor wasn’t any candidate but a curvaceous model in a tight gown who puzzled millions by appearing on stage for less than 30 seconds during the showdown. Julia Orayen has posed nude for Playboy and appeared barely dressed in other media, but she made her mark on Mexican minds Sunday night by carrying an urn filled with bits of paper determining the order that candidates would speak. She wore a tight, white dress with a wide, tear-drop cutout that revealed her ample decolletage. The image was splashed across newspaper front pages and websites by Monday. “The best was the girl in white with the cleavage at the beginning,” tweeted former Mexican Foreign Minister Jorge Castaneda, who is also a New York University professor…Alfredo Figueroa, director of the Federal Electoral Institute responsible for organizing the debate, blamed the incident on a production associate hired by the institute to help with the debate. The institute later issued an apology to Mexican citizens and the candidates for the woman’s dress.

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Comments (76)

  1. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Mom of the year strikes again

  2. Posted by Let them eat dog | May 8, 2012 at 9:44 AM

    She's hoping to get free STD therapy in jail.

  3. Posted by HAM05 | May 8, 2012 at 9:47 AM

    wall st. banks need the booger shooger

  4. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    "The CEO was in the bathroom…"

    He was mathtubating!!! Explained Warren.

  5. Posted by Incitatus | May 8, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    Cobb salad? Really thought they would have gone pizza and Natural Light, just to keep up appearances.

  6. Posted by E. Texas Gas Trader | May 8, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    That Mexican gal was wearin' a "Texas Dress". Like Texas it had a lot of wide, open spaces.

  7. Posted by Shecky Welch | May 8, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

    On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business!

    The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $300.00 a week. Why?"

    The CEO then hands the guy $300 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!"

    Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?"

    With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's."

  8. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    Our friends south of the border seem to have an extraordinary ability at locating attractive women. Locating competent politicians, on the other hand, seems to be an ongoing challenge . . .

  9. Posted by Recruiting 101 | May 8, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Was Thompson guided into Yahoo! by a corporate recruiter?

    -Guy Who Doesn't Like Headhunters

  10. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    "Outside, she held up a cardboard sign that said, 'A woman’s place is in the revolution.'"

    And in the penal system, apparently.

  11. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 8, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    And that differs from the situation on this side of the Rio Grande… how?

  12. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 8, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    Do you suppose Zuck has a Gatsby-esque closet filled with dozens and dozens of hoodies and pairs of jeans (instead of silk shirts)?

  13. Posted by VonSloneker | May 8, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    Of course…the Steve Jobs black turtleneck, the Jozef Straus beret, the Richard Branson flouncy British blouse, and Zuck's hoodie and jeans.

    - Little Orphan Annie's Fashion Consultant

  14. Posted by Laxbro | May 8, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    You spelled Natty wrong.

  15. Posted by Incitatus | May 8, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Was trying to upsell it for the Street.

  16. Posted by B2b MD | May 8, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    Dear Curtis,

    Well my life has really changed since spending time in Jail and it may actually benefit you! I know that whole getting laid in the park by that dude really was tough for you to swallow ( so to speak) and even, perhaps, a little tough to explain to those runny nose little shts you call kids.

    But now, you can just tell them I've decided to swing from the other side of the plate and have met the most wonderful partner in jail. Its been mind blowing and I can actually say that I've never experienced anything like it. So, just buy the kids one of those "Becky has two moms" books and they should be ok.

    Stacey

  17. Posted by 99% | May 8, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    I was there and Zuck was the only one served a Niçoise salad and a can of Limonata. Pompous asshole.

  18. Posted by Wire | May 8, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    Locating attractive women?

  19. Posted by derp | May 8, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    "…Stacey Hessler, 39, arrested in November for resisting arrest". I freaking love the police.

  20. Posted by Mother Stacey | May 8, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    More like the penile system in her case.

  21. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 11:08 AM

    Nice cedilla!

  22. Posted by Ice Man | May 8, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    Her decision making abilities are phenomenal. She should throw her hat into the ring for the soon to be vacant YHOO position. I think it only requires a high school diploma.

  23. Posted by MOTY | May 8, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    Let me see, take a plea and get this over with having served no jail time and go back to Florida to raise those kids OR, spend more time with Rami Swami under the Empathy table?

    FIGHT THE POWER!

  24. Posted by Cut Me | May 8, 2012 at 11:19 AM

    Fuck you to.

    -New Guinea pre 1930's

  25. Posted by Texashedge | May 8, 2012 at 11:32 AM

    It's 'Curtiss', bitch

  26. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 8, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    Not sure they allow much mingling in Manhattan Psychiatric.

  27. Posted by Sleeper | May 8, 2012 at 11:54 AM

    "The institute later issued an apology to Mexican citizens and the candidates for the woman’s dress."

    They've obviously never watched Primer Impacto or they'd know this is the norm.

    - Guy who can't speak a lick of Spanish but would pay handsomely for 5 minutes with the weather girl

  28. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 12:10 PM

    Breakfast of champions? Natty Ice.

    - guy who's dad is also his uncle

  29. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    Not bad

    Yesterday was a hot dog joke. Today is pizza. I already look forward to tomorrow.

    CEO of Yum! Corporation

  30. Posted by guest | May 8, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    thanks random joker dude.

  31. Posted by trojan_ | May 8, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    Se movia.
    -Alfredo Figueroa, Director of Federal Erection Institute

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  33. Posted by Guest | May 8, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    Buffet just has a stack of porn next to a stack of Poor Richard's Almanacs.

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