Opening Bell: 05.15.12

In Facebook IPO, Frenzy, Skepticism (WSJ)
Michael Belanger, a lawyer from Oklahoma City, invests his personal money in the stock market. But he will be skipping Facebook’s IPO because he thinks its valuation is totally “out of whack.” Scott Schermerhorn, chief investment officer of investment-management firm Granite Investment Advisors, says the hype around Facebook’s IPO is going to keep his firm away. “It’s a cult stock,” he says. Little of that skepticism is weighing on three investors, tracked by The Wall Street Journal since Facebook announced in February that it would go public. Jim Supple was driving with his daughter Jade last autumn, when she turned to him and said, “Daddy, can I buy some of the Facebook company?” Mr. Supple, 47, had been teaching Jade about investing in the stock market for years. He started putting money for her in stocks like eBay and Disney when she was a baby. But the request still took him aback. “How do you know about buying Facebook?” he asked. “I saw in the news that they were going to be selling parts of the company,” she responded. “Can we buy some?” Since then, Mr. Supple has been trying to find a way to take $25,000 he has saved for her college fund and purchase Facebook stock. “She doesn’t need this money for another eight years,” says Mr. Supple. “If it goes the Google route, I’ll be in good shape.”

JPMorgan Said To Weigh Bonus Clawbacks After Loss (Bloomberg)
The lender can cancel stock awards or demand they be repaid if an employee “engages in conduct that causes material financial or reputational harm,” JPMorgan said in its annual proxy statement. The company will claw back pay if it’s appropriate, said one of the executives, who asked not to be identified because no decisions have been made. The incident, which led to Drew’s retirement yesterday, may test JPMorgan’s claw-back policy amid mounting investor criticism over Wall Street pay practices and as regulators investigate the trades.

JPMorgan Moves To Protect Dimon (WSJ)
The board backs Mr. Dimon and the way he quickly admitted and sought to fix the bank’s mistakes, according to this person. “We made errors, and we are going to take care of it,” Mr. Dimon told fellow directors during a conference call last week, the person said. “This was bad thinking. This was stupid.”

Euro Chiefs May Offer Leniency to Greece (Bloomberg)
Calling talk of a Greek pullout from the euro “nonsense” and “propaganda,” Luxembourg Prime Minister Jean-Claude Juncker said only a “fully functioning” Greek government would be entitled to tinker with the conditions attached to 240 billion euros ($308 billion) of rescue aid.

Man Spends $60,000 In Custody Battle Over Dog Knuckles (CBS)
Dershowitz, 34, said he considers Knuckles to be his son, and that although he’s gone through his life savings, he said it’s worth it. In papers filed earlier this year in Manhattan state Supreme Court, Dershowitz said ex-girlfriend Sarah Brega “kidnapped” Knuckles after they broke up. Brega said Dershowitz gave her the puggle pup — half pug, half beagle. Dershowitz started the website Rescue Knux to raise money for the custody fight. For $250, contributors can play fetch with Knuckles. For $10,000, Legends of Graffiti will do a giant, personalized mural. Dershowitz made an emotional video plea and posted the following on his site: I know it might sound funny and I understand that. If it wasn’t so painful, I would be laughing too (I mean, c’mon – dognapp – really?) but this is very serious to me and I miss him a lot. Enough that I have gone into debt to retrieve him and enough that I am on here asking for your help. I need the money to keep fighting the court battle. She comes from a wealthy family that is backing her. I don’t. She keeps filing crazy, frivolous motions just knowing that I can’t afford to respond even after the judge has ruled in my favor. The courts gave me custody already but, sadly, the system is too complex and expensive to make anything that simple and easy. I need help bringing my boy home…where he belongs…for good.”

Dick Bove: No Reason to Break Up Big Banks (CNBC)
JPMorgan’s much ballyhooed $2 billion loss is no reason to ramp up regulations, noted bank analyst Dick Bove said Monday. “I don’t think there’s any reason to break up the big banks,” he told CNBC. “Particularly if a bank can earn $18 billion a year and $22 billion the next year, why in heaven’s name would you say it can’t be run?”

Sanders Sees Conflict With Dimon on New York Fed Board (Bloomberg)
Senator Bernard Sanders said he sees a conflict with JPMorgan Chase Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon serving on the board of directors at the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, JPMorgan’s regulator. “It is an obvious conflict of interest,” Sanders, an Independent from Vermont, said today in an e-mail response to a question from Bloomberg News. “This is a clear example of the fox guarding the henhouse.”

Chesapeake Loan Jars Bond Investors (WSJ)
“This loan was priced very attractively” for lenders, said Sabur Moini, manager of a $2.5 billion high-yield-bond portfolio at Payden & Rygel, adding that turmoil in Chesapeake’s bonds was largely “self-inflicted.” Investor confidence was shaken by the loan, he said, but it has also been dented by other factors, including controversy over CEO Aubrey McClendon’s pledging his stakes in company wells as collateral to secure loans with companies that do business with Chesapeake.

Rajat Gupta Opposes U.S. Request to Limit Defense at Trial (Bloomberg)
Prosecutors had sought to bar Gupta from speculating before the jury about the government’s motives in bringing the case. They also said evidence of Gupta’s past charitable contributions and the purported damage the case has had on his reputation aren’t relevant. “The government attempts to hamstring the defense,” Gupta’s lawyers said in a court filing today. “Mr. Gupta’s charitable activities are a large component of his background and a critical element of who he is as a person.”

Increase in Customer Base Helps Groupon Narrow Loss (AP)
Groupon said Monday that its net loss was $11.7 million, or 2 cents a share, in the January-March period. It posted a loss of $146.5 million, or 48 cents a share, in the first quarter of 2011 when it was still privately held. Excluding special items such as stock-compensation expenses, Groupon earned 2 cents a share in the latest quarter, matching Wall Street’s estimates. Revenue grew 89 percent to $559.3 million from $295.5 million a year earlier.

Cops bust man smuggling cocaine at JFK (NYP)
A drug smuggler packed his stash of cocaine inside sticks of deodorant, ink markers and hundreds of buttons — only to be busted by alert customs officers at JFK Airport who noticed a strong odor coming from his suitcase, authorities said today…The items with cocaine hidden inside included 16 markers, 17 sticks of Dove and Odorex deodorant, 24 bottles of nail polish, and about 684 buttons.

84 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (84)

  1. Posted by guestapo | May 15, 2012 at 7:50 AM

    is anyone else actually considering donating to the pup fund?

    – guy who would kill in cold blood for his dog

  2. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 7:54 AM

    Is anyone else confused on how you hide coke in buttons?

  3. Posted by Lobe | May 15, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    Ask the Mexican Coke Shark

  4. Posted by Qwerty | May 15, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    I'm sure you love your dog very much. But you realize that for $60,000 you could buy 100 new dogs that will love you just as much as the old one did, right?

  5. Posted by ??? | May 15, 2012 at 8:27 AM

    I heart Dealbreaker buttons

  6. Posted by UBS HR | May 15, 2012 at 8:37 AM

    '“Can we buy some?” Since then, Mr. Supple has been trying to find a way to take $25,000 he has saved for her college fund and purchase Facebook stock.'

    Mr. Supple, please contact us re; your investment in Facebook. We think Jade has shown immense vision with her investment advice, and would like to offer her a position with our wealth management group.

  7. Posted by Jade 2020 | May 15, 2012 at 8:51 AM

    Do you want fries with that?

  8. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    But none of them can lick peanut butter like Buster can!

  9. Posted by Guestttt | May 15, 2012 at 8:58 AM

    step 1: get coked up
    step 2: ???
    step 3: hide coke in buttons
    step 4: profit

  10. Posted by Tailor Quant | May 15, 2012 at 9:10 AM

    obviously in the little holes where the thread goes…

  11. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:11 AM

    Jim's decision to invest his daughter's college fund in Facebook stock seems fairly consistent with the decision to name his daughter Jade Supple.

  12. Posted by HAM05 | May 15, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    didnt realize kneale came from a wealthy family

  13. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    "If it goes the Google route…"

    What about the Groupon or Zynga route, Jimbo?

  14. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    At first I thought someone was trying to get back a set of dog knuckles, and was confused by that.

    $60,000??? Why didn't you just dognapp him back?

  15. Posted by Stingy with it | May 15, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    Sara Eisen's lazy eye – deal killer or not? Discuss.

    -guy who wonders what it would be like to have her on her knees looking up at me

  16. Posted by guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    You're a tool.

  17. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    “I don’t think there’s any reason to break up the big banks,” he told CNBC, adding "What would I do then, cover little banks?" "Listen, I'm Dick Fucking Bove, I don't cover little banks."

  18. Posted by guestapo | May 15, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    When do you think you see a woman naked for the first time?

  19. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    Oh, believe me. I tried.

    – M. Vick

  20. Posted by Jade 2021 | May 15, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    Would you like a lap dance?

  21. Posted by guest | May 15, 2012 at 9:48 AM

    Too far.

  22. Posted by VonSloneker | May 15, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    Giving your daughter an Asian stripper name is the NKI.

    Poor kid, hopefully she's got a normal middle name so she can get "J. Victoria Supple" (or somesuch) on her diploma…keep her resume out of the round file.

  23. Posted by Lord Humongous | May 15, 2012 at 9:55 AM

    From between your crack?

  24. Posted by Mike fucking Mayo | May 15, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Steppin on toes…

  25. Posted by Castor | May 15, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    Buster likes duck taco…

  26. Posted by NowOnePerson | May 15, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Dealbreaker Coke Buttons?

  27. Posted by Lowly Assistant | May 15, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    Give the guy a roadshow, and he already thinks that he's Hank fucking Greenberg.

    -Passive Aggressive Snowball

  28. Posted by Beamers | May 15, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    Really great name… for a stripper.

  29. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    What's so innovative about that?

    – Former UBS Houston investment banking MD turned Los Zetas Sicarios in Nuevo Laredo

  30. Posted by Ernie | May 15, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Keep on fuckin that chicken.

  31. Posted by GUest | May 15, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    Take your god damn hands off Puff Puff!

  32. Posted by _guest | May 15, 2012 at 10:56 AM

    “How do you know about buying Facebook?” he asked. “I saw in the news that they were going to be selling parts of the company,” she responded. “Can we buy some?”

    Future UBS MD in the making right before our eyes

  33. Posted by Nyrebel2003 | May 15, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Daddy should invest her money in clear heels and glitter – with a name like Jade – might have well have called her Shaniqua.

    And yes, I have examined my motives.

  34. Posted by Guestavo | May 15, 2012 at 11:08 AM

    Tell me more about these Dimons

    -UBS Rhodesian Blood Diamond Quant

  35. Posted by Tulsa Oil Pro | May 15, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    I'm always impressed that management says a $2 Billion "issue" is insignificant to the total value of the corporation but won't give it to you as a bonus because they have to "keep expenses under control".

    -Guy Who Wants a $2 Billion Bonus

  36. Posted by Ace Ventura | May 15, 2012 at 11:13 AM

    I'll tell ya why, Luhoo-suherrr.

  37. Posted by Hugh Culverhouse | May 15, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    If by PUP fund, you mean the Paulson ULTRA Performance fund, been there done that.

  38. Posted by laxbro | May 15, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    first date usually for me

  39. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    CIO was managing $360bn right? So a $2bn loss is < 1% of the whole portfolio… doesn't seem that crazy to be honest!

  40. Posted by Andreas | May 15, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    Zucker > Green

    High German dialectical quant

  41. Posted by Not Crazy, Rational | May 15, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    JPM's risk management people are suffering from the "dildonic plague" if that is they way they think about $2 billion US dollars.

    -Guy With Common Sense When Using OTHER PEOPLE's MONEY.

  42. Posted by Kewku Iguodala | May 15, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    Exactly !

  43. Posted by Nodding Kermit | May 15, 2012 at 11:47 AM

    Wow. Just think: If they had done the exact opposite of the trade that their best intellectual capital formulated and put into place they would have made $2 billion dollars!!!

  44. Posted by Figurer Outer | May 15, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    That is why the CIO wasn't allowed to manage $2 Trillion I guess.

  45. Posted by value added | May 15, 2012 at 11:57 AM

    ruffies+white wine in your parents' basement does not a date make

  46. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    Is that you, Snowball? You wh*re! Out of the hands of one (former) billionaire, into a newly minted one. What has the world come to? What must we witness next… the sight of Wilbur in the hands of Eduoardo?

  47. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 15, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    It's not a date when it's hired talent, bro.

  48. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    It was shareholder money, not client money. I hope you're not inffering the latter.

  49. Posted by HFguy | May 15, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    "Dershowitz, 34, said he considers Knuckles to be his son, and that although he’s gone through his life savings, he said it’s worth it. In papers filed earlier this year in Manhattan state Supreme Court, Dershowitz said ex-girlfriend Sarah Brega “kidnapped” Knuckles after they broke up."

    -Or cheaper to kill the bitch to save the dog.

  50. Posted by fade | May 15, 2012 at 12:08 PM

    wow, you are the first guy in the history of financial speculation to formulate this theory.

  51. Posted by CTA | May 15, 2012 at 12:09 PM

    We can notionalize that allocation if you are interested in getting to that number ?

  52. Posted by 1st deriv f(x) | May 15, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    It's not a bank when you hire this talent

    UBS HR

  53. Posted by Not A Genius, But... | May 15, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    That gives me an idea: You can fuck with the shareholder money but maybe not the clients' money?

    Maybe that is why people want to break up the banks in general. I don't know.

  54. Posted by Miss Piggy | May 15, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    He's a frog, numbnuts.

  55. Posted by Simple Nebraskan | May 15, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    Do shareholders get different treatment than clients? I thought shareholders were "partners". That's what Mr. Buffett says. I heard he's made a lot of money but lives in the same house in Omaha he bought when he got started in business. I think I saw where Jamie's spokesman has a $6 million place in the city? Is that true or am I wrong?

  56. Posted by fidush | May 15, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    You goons got it all wrong.

    The WHOLE idea is to turn the client money into shareholder money and comp.

    whatamy in fucking kindergarten here ?

  57. Posted by gratuitous | May 15, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    stand by your frog you pig

  58. Posted by NowOnePerson | May 15, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    Well, Simple,

    eh, forget it.

  59. Posted by Let them eat dog | May 15, 2012 at 1:21 PM

    Now that mario batali is on food stamps for the week, dog prices have gone up!

  60. Posted by ex-bulge bracketeer | May 15, 2012 at 1:42 PM


  61. Posted by agreatdaytothink | May 15, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    Dog Knuckles > Moose Knuckles ?

  62. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 2:40 PM

    Paging Matt Levine. Matt Levine to the main stage.

  63. Posted by guest | May 15, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    Give the guy some roadhead and he'll think he's DSK.

  64. Posted by guest | May 15, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Nah, it was "fuck you" money.

  65. Posted by Ace Ventura | May 15, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    It's SNO ball Greenberg, and this is not exactly what I had in mind.

    – Don Draper.

  66. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    4pm. One post. Unreal.

  67. Posted by Bronor K | May 15, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    <img src="">Today is the pumping day for social media shares.<img src=""&gt;

  68. Posted by guest | May 15, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    And, yet, you're still here, bitch.

  69. Posted by guest | May 15, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    Why don't you ask for your money back?

  70. Posted by believe it | May 15, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    thats a guy that loves post huh ?

  71. Posted by Guest | May 15, 2012 at 11:45 PM

    Oh come on, they're supposed to just have ZERO variance? <1% move over a month isn't that absurd. Besides, they're basically just making a long bet on US credits — its basically the same as holding a portfolio of corporate bonds w/o the interest rate risk (which seems like a good idea considering rates have nowhere to go but up).

    What would you instead do with $360bn where you could make an actual return and never lose 1% on the portfolio? I don't even think Madoff claimed he could pull off such a magic trick…

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