Opening Bell: 05.21.12

JPMorgan CIO Risk Chief Said To Have Trading-Loss History (Bloomberg)
Irvin Goldman, who oversaw risks in the JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) unit that suffered more than $2 billion in trading losses, was fired by another Wall Street firm in 2007 for money-losing bets that prompted a regulatory sanction at the firm, Cantor Fitzgerald LP, three people with direct knowledge of the matter said. JPMorgan appointed Goldman in February as the top risk official in its chief investment office while the unit was managing trades that later spiraled into what Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon called “egregious,” self-inflicted mistakes. The bank knew when it picked Goldman that his earlier work at Cantor led regulators to penalize that company, according to a person briefed on the situation.

Risk Manager’s Past Scrutinized (WSJ)
Mr. Goldman joined J.P. Morgan’s CIO in January 2008 as a trader. The bank placed him on leave in September 2008 after it learned that NYSE Arca had opened a regulatory inquiry tied to his trading activities at Cantor Fitzgerald, people familiar with the matter said. After J.P. Morgan placed him on leave, Mr. Goldman founded a consulting firm based in New York called IJG Advisors LLC. He rejoined J.P. Morgan in September 2010 in the Chief Investment Office, this time focusing on strategy. Current J.P. Morgan Chase Chief Risk Officer John Hogan chose Mr. Goldman to serve as CRO of the office, a position that had been filled by Peter Weiland, who remains with J.P. Morgan’s CIO. Mr. Hogan wasn’t aware of the Cantor Fitzgerald incident or the earlier trading losses at J.P. Morgan Chase, said a person close to the bank.

Eurobonds To Be Discussed At EU Summit (Reuters)
Merkel has said she is not opposed to jointly underwritten euro area bonds per se, but believes it can only be discussed once the conditions are right, including much closer economic integration and coordination across the euro zone, including on fiscal matters. That remains a long way off.

Will Greece Be Able to Print Drachma in a Rush? (Reuters)
If or when policymakers finally decide Greece should leave the euro, the exit could happen so quickly that “new drachma” currency notes might not be printed in time. “It would be chaos,” says Marios Efthymiopoulos, a visiting scholar at Johns Hopkins University Center for Advanced International Studies and president of Thessaloniki-based think tank Global Strategy. “The banks would collapse and you would have to nationalize them. You wouldn’t be able to pay anyone except in coupons. There is only one (currency) printing press in Greece. It is in the museum in Athens and it doesn’t work any more.”

Ryanair CEO: ‘No’ Campaigners in Irish Vote Are Crazy (CNBC)
“I think Ireland will vote yes in the referendum and Ireland should vote yes. We have no alternative. People who are borrowing $15 billion a year to keep the lights turned on don’t have the wherewithal to vote no to the people that are lending them the money. There is no argument for voting no,” Michael O’Leary, CEO of budget airline Ryanair said. He described “no” campaigners as a “bunch of idiots and lunatics.”

Barclays To Sell Entire BlackRock Stake (WSJ)
Barclays said BlackRock agreed to repurchase $1 billion worth of the 19.6% stake that the bank holds in the asset-management company. The remainder of the stake will then be listed on a stock exchange. The decision to sell comes as the bank faces pressure from investors to boost its return on equity and prepares to mitigate the effects of regulation that will force the lender to hold a bigger capital buffer.

Mark Zuckerberg Gets Married (AP)
The couple met at Harvard and have been together for more than nine years, a guest who insisted on anonymity said. The ceremony took place in Zuckerberg’s backyard before fewer than 100 guests, including Facebook’s chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg. The guests all thought they were coming to celebrate Chan’s graduation but were told after they arrived that the event was in fact a wedding. “Everybody was shocked,” the guest said. The two had been planning the marriage for months but were waiting until Chan had graduated from medical school to hold the wedding. The timing wasn’t tied to the IPO, since the date the company planned to go public was a “moving target,” the guest said. Zuckerberg designed the ring featuring “a very simple ruby.”

Hedge Funds Rebuild Euro Bear Bets On Greek Exit Banks Weigh (Bloomberg)
Hedge funds and other large speculators, which pared trades that would profit from a drop in the euro to the lowest levels since November, rebuilt them to a record high last week, figures released May 18 by the Washington-based Commodity Futures Trading Commission showed. The premium for options that grant the right to sell the euro has more than doubled since March.

Nasdaq CEO Blames Software Design For Delayed Facebook Trading (Bloomberg)
Nasdaq OMX Group, under scrutiny after shares of Facebook Inc. were plagued by delays and mishandled orders on its first day of trading, blamed “poor design” in the software it uses for driving auctions in initial public offerings.

Fed Proves More Bullish Than Wall Street Forecasting U.S. Growth (Bloomberg)
Stephen Stanley, chief economist at Pierpont Securities LLC, has derided the Federal Reserve for downplaying improvement in the U.S. economy. Yet his 2.6 percent forecast for growth this year is below the midpoint in the central bank’s projection of 2.4 percent to 2.9 percent…“I’ve been banging my head against the wall,” said Stanley in Stamford, Connecticut, a former researcher at the Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond, who had predicted an interest- rate increase as early as last year and now says the Fed probably will tighten in the middle of next year. “They’re willing to let things run for longer and let inflation accelerate more than historically.”

Judge mulls suit vs. woman sending messages to driving boyfriend (NYP)
In a case believed to be the first of its kind in the country, a New Jersey college student could be held liable this week for texting her boyfriend — knowing he was behind the wheel — and allegedly causing him to crash into a couple riding a motorcycle. “She texts. Instantly, he texts back, and, bang, the accident occurs,” said Skippy Weinstein, attorney for motorcycle enthusiasts David and Linda Kubert, both 59, who lost their left legs in the horrific 2009 accident in Mine Hill. It’s now up to a Superior Court judge in Morristown, NJ, to decide whether Shannon Colonna can be added to the suit against driver Kyle Best.

80 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (80)

  1. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    Nice pool.

  2. Posted by John | May 21, 2012 at 8:52 AM

    What is with all the digging through peoples' past history? Have you people no respect? Can't we just let bygones be bygones?

    – J. Meriwether

  3. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    No prenup -> $28-30 target

  4. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 8:59 AM


    – guy who legitimately can't wait for all the wild speculation about whether zuck's got a prenup/tied the wedding to the IPO date/etc

  5. Posted by UBS MD | May 21, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    I was thinking the same thing!!

  6. Posted by Fly on the Wall | May 21, 2012 at 9:17 AM

    Mark: What would you do if you had a billion dollars?
    Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
    Mark: That's it? If you had a billion dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
    Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a billionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
    Mark: Well, not all chicks.
    Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.
    Mark: Good point.
    Lawrence: Well, what about you now? What would you do?
    Mark: Besides two chicks at the same time?
    Lawrence: Well, yeah.
    Mark: Marry somebody at a graduation party.
    Lawrence: ….huh?
    Mark: I would relax… I would sit on my ass all day… I would marry somebody at a graduation party.
    Lawrence: Well, you don't need a billion dollars to marry somebody at a graduation party, man. Take a look at my cousin: he's broke, does weird shit like that all the time.

  7. Posted by NowOnePerson | May 21, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Hey JPM, I like your new strategy: Blame Goldman!

    -M Taibbi

  8. Posted by Guesticulate | May 21, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    I don't think I've seen Greece do anything in a hurry except ask for more money, so no, there will be no drachmas in a rush.

  9. Posted by Ice Man | May 21, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    Well played Lloyd.

    -J Dimon

  10. Posted by Miles Massey | May 21, 2012 at 9:33 AM

    He should be just fine.

  11. Posted by pazzo83 | May 21, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    FB is a great buy today! Cheap relative to intrinsics, this stock will be skyrocketing!!

    – J Cramer

  12. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    I've read that Delarue, the high-tech, expensive printing company would be tapped to print the new drachma. Given how the new drachma is likely to trade and Greece's budget constraints, I suggest they look to Kimberly-Clark instead.

  13. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Did Zuckerberg marry the asian girl that blew him in the bathroom at a bar, as seen in the movie The Social Network. ?

  14. Posted by Guesticulate | May 21, 2012 at 9:48 AM

    -8%… -10%… -12%…a day later than I expected, but enjoying it nonetheless.

  15. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    I don't know what the concern over getting a new paper currency out is – just call up the Zimbabweans, I am reliably informed they are world experts on printing up bank notes on short notice.

  16. Posted by Fozzy Baer Sturns | May 21, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    The first mistake JP made was hiring a guy named Goldman. Wokka wokka wokka !

  17. Posted by pazzo83 | May 21, 2012 at 9:56 AM

    I think another "Call the Close" might be in order today.

  18. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 21, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    We were there first.


  19. Posted by Figurer Outer | May 21, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    If a CRO for one of the world's largest investment banks can't figure out who the dumbasses in the risk management industry might be, then that CRO for one of the world's largest investment banks is the dumbass.

  20. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    Mr. Dimon, I would like to offer my services to you. I specialize in handling matters concerning anything Goldman.

    -The Juice

  21. Posted by Incitatus | May 21, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    The stone was a very simple ruby, weighing approximately 15 ounces, cut into the shape of a "Like" button.

    Attendees also reported that the bride wore Vera Wang, while Zuckerberg sported his trademark hoodie and a tuxedo T-shirt.

    "The whole thing was like, pretty tasteful," said one guest who wished to remain anonymous, as they hold an executive position at Facebook.

  22. Posted by still2early2short?? | May 21, 2012 at 10:21 AM


  23. Posted by Rowdy_gentleman | May 21, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    Two chicks at the same time isn't that big of a deal. The secret is to request her to have a free spirited friend join in early, before she gets attached to you. Also: odds of having a 3-some x university US News ranking = k

  24. Posted by G. Roupon | May 21, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    I'm so short that stock I'd have to stand on a box to kiss a midget.

  25. Posted by The Sword | May 21, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    A simple ruby the size of his left testicle!!!!

  26. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    I'm totally into this ascetic billionaire lifestyle. Money is suuuch a shallow materialistic concern. I'm completely on board with my naive husband's desire to "change the world." After all, it's the Chinese way to care more about making a difference than money and power.

    Which is how I convinced my dipshit husband to have no prenup. Because you can't divide benevolence.

    -Priscilla Chan

  27. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    When do you expect to lose your virginity?

  28. Posted by Jane | May 21, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Hey Guys!

    I am new to this blog, but I think its just great :)!!! Any who, I just saw a wedding picture of that Facebook guy and wanted to know if he has autism or asperger syndrom? I want my son Keegan to grow up to be really rich so I have been telling people he has the type of autism that makes him able to read phonebooks in a day cuz hes really smart and will make internet money because of it!!! But if aspergner made Mr. Facebook a billionaire I want to start telling people he has that to improve his odds of getting rich one day :}!!!

    Thanks a bunchy!!!

    Jane – Lonely stay-at-home mother in a sexless marriage that gives her kids stupid names and relys on Wikipedia to diagnose my children with developmental disorders in order to get free Ipads from the local school district.

  29. Posted by Lance Armstrong | May 21, 2012 at 10:57 AM


  30. Posted by Oil Company Shrink | May 21, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    This sort of "acting out" reflects on your own low self esteem and shows that your personal sense of self is starting to shatter a bit. How do you feel about that? You are letting the internet overtake your own personal view of the world and that friction can lead serious depression or as Red Adair used to say "giant case of the red ass."

  31. Posted by UBS MD | May 21, 2012 at 11:05 AM

    whats the symbol for Intrinsics

  32. Posted by Rowdy_gentleman | May 21, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    You're both fucking retards.

  33. Posted by Wendy Murdoch | May 21, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    Hey !

  34. Posted by Kaden | May 21, 2012 at 11:08 AM

    Keegan sucks.

    Least attractive autist in the the school

  35. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    Newly minted Billionaire, how does it feel to take a $2bm hit in one day?

  36. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    Zuck, call me and I'll guide you through it.


  37. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    Girlfirend, I'm with you. I'd only marry him if he was a billionaire too. He's annoying to listen to and all he wears are those hoodies and flipflops. Now you got some serious cash, treat yourself and get a piano playing pig and a credit line at Balmain.

  38. Posted by BESTICLES | May 21, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    Not to get all Zero Hedge here, but in December I spoke to someone working at De La Rue who claimed they were already printing drachma

    – guy who feels smug because he heard a rumour

  39. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:28 AM

    Yeah, I think we'll see the market flooded with counterfeit euro notes from the Greek Central Bank before we see newly minted drachmas.

    Btw, euro notes printed in Greece have a "X" in their serial numbers. Try to avoid them before the inevitable hits.

  40. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    Hey Zuck!

    You suck.


  41. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:38 AM

    UBS MD

    Pity the pool is not deep enough to drown yourself in.

  42. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    Probably not. It is notoriously difficult to get an Asian girl to go down on you in any situation outside of Thailand.

    UBS Head of Southeast Asian banging

  43. Posted by Ty | May 21, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    Pond would be good for him

  44. Posted by Oil Company Shrink | May 21, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    No I'm not. She's a CRO. You take some of that back!

  45. Posted by Like button | May 21, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    Don't buy, or Best buy?

  46. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    How much is Morgan Stanley losing from the Facebook IPO? Or have they given up on propping up the shares?

    Lloyd B.

  47. Posted by Gundlach | May 21, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    I see a lot of "inventory" is posting this morning!

  48. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:05 PM

    Is Facebook one of those newly listed china-based reverse merger stocks?

    It sure is falling like one.

  49. Posted by hurf | May 21, 2012 at 12:08 PM

    Hey Zack!

    You suck.

    Dealbreaker commentariat

  50. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    At least you get to be real a woman: diamonds, luxury homes, extortion. Rain Man here gets more excited about the latest Ubuntu release than 'in the pooper Tuesdays'.


  51. Posted by PermaGuestII | May 21, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    DLAR LN {Equity} GP {Go}

    You're not being Zerohedge…

  52. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:15 PM

    "…cut into the shape of a "Rike" button."

  53. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    Why do you think I moved to Singapore?

    It's a stone throw from Thailand, and taxes are lower too.

    – E. Saverin

  54. Posted by Cut Me | May 21, 2012 at 12:18 PM

    What is Geezer Oil Trader's take on pre-nups?

  55. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    If the Zuckster were the top risk official this would never had happened.

  56. Posted by soho | May 21, 2012 at 12:33 PM

    Dimon will be out of JPM by the end of the week

  57. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    New Dealbreaker business model: aggregate "Opening Bell" articles, let folks comment?

    -Guy who actually reads, enjoys the articles.
    –Not complaining, just wondering

  58. Posted by The Sword | May 21, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    Seriously! Is there anything Gorman can touch and turn to shit……Unbelievable!!!!

  59. Posted by Jane | May 21, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    My son has ass burgers!!!!

  60. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    I used to read Penthouse just for the articles.

    Former Penthouse subscriber now avid Dealbreaker fan

  61. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Too booku?

  62. Posted by BofH | May 21, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    If she hadn't been such a slut, I never would masturbated while driving. It's all her fault.

    -Kyle Best

  63. Posted by GeezerOilTrader | May 21, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    I don't know why anyone would be interested in my take on pre-nups and marriage. I think fucking Exxon should have got a pre-nup when they merged with XTO and the price of natural gas fell through the shit house floor. You'd think the venerable fucking Standard Oil of New Jersey would have some experience in where the TOP OF A FUCKING ENERGY MARKET is located but they can be wooed as well I suppose. There should have been a clause in that pre-nup like "We're fucking out if natural gas goes through the shit house floor…" Or maybe if fucking Exxon had some hedging experience they would understand where 5 standard deviations above a 2 year mean might be? Goddammit, back in the 80s, to a married oil man, "above the mean" meant the missionary position sex you'd get from your wife on your birthday after 20 years of marriage! And back then, a "standard deviation" was what everyone described as every heating oil trader's penchant for wearing garter belts under his pleated fucking pants!! I never could understand why some energy traders and marketers would divorce a really nice young man or woman and then hook up or marry another fucking energy trader. Some people are so fucking obsessed with the romance of trading that they have to fucking marry in to it. Jesus, if you're banging someone from another firm odds are everyone else is too. And the dumbass pillow talk must be all like, " Those fucking brokers told me -35 on the LLS but I knew -50s were out there!!..or can you believe that dipshit at Shell wanted to close the Brent window on me?? Don't people get enough of that shit at work every fucking day?? Best of all is when my marketer marries someone from a competing company. There go all the fucking company secrets out the fucking door! The dumbass Aggie I'm mentoring all summer may have a chance in making it in the oil trading business. He said he got married and he and his now wife were getting a pre-nup and the lawyers were asking about "Sex". One lawyer said, "Would you want use the word "infrequently" in the language of the "sex clause" of the pre-nup?" and my little Aggie replied, "Depends if it is one word or two."

  64. Posted by Yoko | May 21, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    Impressive work.

  65. Posted by Suckerberg | May 21, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    so doggy-style is best?

  66. Posted by Guest | May 21, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    That's exactly the problem with these big banks! Goldman is running everything and takes these huge risks and then they get bail outs by charging us huge interest rates and fees on our student loan.

    – MD of Strategic Communications, OWS

  67. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    oh great. this is the window the board has been looking for to get rid of dimon and replace him with a superstar like pandit or monynihan…

  68. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    Another perfect example of Goldman screwing their clients, man. At least this time its another bank that feels their wrath.

    -Occupy Wall Street Risk Management Quant

  69. Posted by Darsh | May 21, 2012 at 1:36 PM

    I remember my first blow job

  70. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    "The couple met at Harvard and have been together for more than nine years, a guest who insisted on anonymity said."

    Shucks, now we'll never know who released such privileged information.

  71. Posted by Im_a_Dude | May 21, 2012 at 2:05 PM

    fucking awesome

  72. Posted by Jean R | May 21, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    So that's it? Facebook crashed and the social media party's over?<img src=><img src=>

  73. Posted by Guest_of_Honor | May 21, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    Greece Euros have a "Y", Germany notes have a "X'. However, if it gets to the point where Greece is counterfeiting Euros they might figure out how to change out one letter on their printing press. Although this is Greece we're talking about so maybe not.

  74. Posted by Ice Man | May 21, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    Call me.

    -A. Mozillo

  75. Posted by Raoul Felder | May 21, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    It's all about the settlement Pris…cmon we've been over this.

  76. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    Why hasn't bess put you on the pay roll? Youre the only thing bringing me to db these days.

  77. Posted by Hippy Trader mannnn | May 21, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Dude liked his own comment. Occupy that !

  78. Posted by guest | May 21, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    Well it is easier to find a beached whale on the Pacific Coast.

  79. Posted by Nautica Thorn | May 21, 2012 at 5:51 PM


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