I might have enjoyed this Andrew Ross Sorkin column, about how bringing back Glass-Steagall would have prevented neither the financial crisis nor l’affaire Whaledemort, more than most people.* Yes, the argument is pretty silly – like saying we shouldn’t have speed limits because they probably wouldn’t have prevented the Columbine massacre – but it contains […]
Remember Debrahlee Lorenzana? For those with short memories, two years ago, Lorenzana sued Citibank for firing her for allegedly being “too hot,” a claim representatives of the bank denied several times, while also calling her an attention whore. After the initial hoopla, interest in Lorenzana, who once appeared on a TV show discussing her reasons for having her breasts enlarged (she wanted to look like “tits on a stick” in order to attract a “professional, well-educated man) died down and many likely forgot about the story of T’s on an S versus Citi. In a Daily News article today, though, Debs said that she passed on a settlement wanting instead to “press on.” While it’s not clear that anyone reading the piece took it to mean Lorenzana had in fact received damages for her hotness, Citi, which long ago had it with this chick, was not having it. Lest there be any confusion about whether or not she extracted jack from Vikram et al, the bank has gone on record to say:
“The case is concluded, and Citibank did not enter into any kind of a settlement with Ms. Lorenzana or provide any payment to her.”
Lorenzana, a buxom beauty who was axed from her job at Citigroup in 2010, said she fought the bank by herself in arbitration after lawyer Gloria Allred dropped her as a client. “If I could turn back time, I would have not chosen Gloria Allred as my lawyer,” she said. The 35-year-old knockout sued her […]
This weekend the New York Times published an amazing, front-page-of-Sunday-business article about … well, there was this guy, see, and he was annoyed because he thought some people had access to his personal opinions that he had formed based on public information before some other people had access to those personal opinions, and he decided […]
Remember the fight that broke out at the New York Athletic Club last month, which a witness described as a “nondiscriminatory ragematch” involving “young people, old people, girls, members, and nonmembers,” which started as a tiff over a woman and “escalated into a brawl involving three fighting wolfpacks,” wherein “tables were overturned or moved to the room’s periphery to crate a lion’s pit for the battle,” a “fat pudgy kid came out of nowhere, laid out a larger man with a blow to the head and was tackled by a crowd,” approximately two noses were broken, and the police made three arrests? Oddly, it looks unlikely that the guy who did “the most damage” (to people’s faces) will be walking away with a slap on the wrist.
Manhattan prosecutors aren’t cutting any slack for the handsome broker charged with doing the most damage at an unbridled bar brawl at the otherwise stodgy New York Athletic Club. The DA’s office is not making any plea offers for Colin Drowica, 30, of Glen Head, LI, prosecutors said yesterday, as the glum-looking alleged brawler stood before a criminal court judge in a gray business suit. Drowica, a director at Knight Capital, is charged with harassment and misdemeanor assault — which carries up to one year jail — for allegedly punching another man in the club’s Tap Room with enough force to fracture his eye socket. Drowica then joined with fellow North Shore resident clubgoers Peter Doran and Matthew O’Grady in allegedly beating the heck out of a second man during the April 13 free-for-all.
JPMorgan’s Losses Are Rival’s Boons (WSJ)
A group of about a dozen banks, including Goldman Sachs Group and Bank of America have scored profits that collectively could total $500 million to $1 billion on trades that sometimes pit them directly against J.P. Morgan’s Chief Investment Office, according to traders and people close to the matter.
Facebook 11% Drop Means Morgan Stanley Gets Blame (Bloomberg)
Some investors say they felt misled by the underwriters. According to one London-based fund manager who asked not to be named, bankers indicated demand was so strong that he placed a bigger order than he thought he would get, leaving him with 40 percent more Facebook shares than anticipated. He sold most of that stock on the first day of trading.
Morgan Stanley Cut Facebook Estimates Just Before IPO (Reuters)
In the run-up to Facebook’s $16 billion IPO, Morgan Stanley, the lead underwriter on the deal, unexpectedly delivered some negative news to major clients: The bank’s consumer Internet analyst, Scott Devitt, was reducing his revenue forecasts for the company. The sudden caution very close to the huge initial public offering, and while an investor roadshow was underway, was a big shock to some, said two investors who were advised of the revised forecast. They say it may have contributed to the weak performance of Facebook shares, which sank on Monday – their second day of trading – to end 10 percent below the IPO price. The $38 per share IPO price valued Facebook at $104 billion.
Deutsche Bank: ‘Geuro’ an Alternative to Greek Euro Exit (CNBC)
Greece’s best chance of survival may be to stay in the euro but opt for its own parallel currency or “Geuro,” according to Deutsche Bank’s head of research, Thomas Mayer. In a research piece, Mayer said the Geuro would help Greece balance its primary budget without financial support from the ‘Troika’ of international lenders (the International Monetary Fund, the European Union and the European Central Bank). This would allow the incoming Greek government to reject the strict austerity program on which aid is contingent.
IMF Chief, OECD Call For More Euro Debt Sharing (WSJ)
International Monetary Fund head Christine Lagarde Tuesday called on euro-zone governments to accept more common liability for each other’s debts, saying that the region urgently needs to take further steps to contain the crisis. “We consider that more needs to be done, particularly by way of fiscal liability-sharing, and there are multiple ways to do that,” Ms. Lagarde told a press conference in London to mark the completion of a regular review of U.K. finances.
Greece Needs To Accept Bailout Terms, Says South Korea (CNBC)
South Korea’s President Lee Myung-bak says Greece needs to accept the terms of a $130 billion international bailout agreed in March and there will be no disbursement of money from the International Monetary Fund (IMF), unless the country does so.
Floating bales of marijuana a mystery (OCG)
The floating bundles, weighing a total of 8,068 pounds, were first seen by a boater near the harbor around 12:01 p.m. Sunday, U.S. Coast Guard Petty Officer Seth Johnson said. The bales were reportedly floating at least 15 miles off shore. The Orange County Sheriff’s Department sent three Harbor Patrol ships to aid in recovering the marijuana. A Coast Guard cutter was also sent to assist. Michael Jimenez, a Border Patrol spokesman, called Sunday’s incident unusual. In most scenarios when marijuana bales are found dumped in the water it is because a vessel is trying to flee from authorities. “At other events, they’ve dumped the bales to get rid of weight if they’re being chased,” he said. “Generally in these cases we’re aware they’re being dumped. What’s more unusual is that the bales were floating with no boat in sight.”
Fitch Downgrades Japan (WSJ)
Fitch Ratings downgraded Japan’s sovereign rating to A-plus and said it was maintaining a negative outlook due to the “leisurely” pace of the county’s efforts to remedy its dire fiscal situation. The firm’s long-term foreign-currency rating had been AA and its local currency issuer default rating had been AA-minus.
JPMorgan Veered From Hedging Practices At Competing Banks (Bloomberg)
JPMorgan’s biggest U.S. competitors say their corporate investment offices avoid the use of derivatives that led to the bank’s $2 billion loss and buy fewer bonds exposed to credit risk.
Bank of America, Citigroup, and Wells Fargo. say the offices don’t trade credit-default swaps on indexes linked to the health of companies. JPMorgan is said to have amassed positions in such indexes that were so large they drove price moves in the $10 trillion market. The loss has prompted shareholders to join regulators in scrutinizing how banks use their investment offices to hedge risks and manage deposits they aren’t using for loans. JPMorgan’s competitors confine corporate-level trading mostly to interest-rate and currency swaps — the most common derivatives — and put a greater percentage of funds into U.S. government- backed securities such as Treasury bonds.
Blackstone Moves Into Motel 6 (WSJ)
Blackstone Group LP is acquiring discount lodging chain Motel 6 in a deal valued at $1.9 billion, as the private-equity firm continues to invest aggressively through its $10 billion real estate war-chest.
Jon Corzine Got $8.4 Million In Year Before MF Global Collapse (NYP)
Corzine received a bonus of $1.25 million in addition to his salary of about $1.8 million last year. He also was awarded $5.35 million in now-worthless stock options. Other MF Global insiders, including Chief Operating Officer Bradley Abelow, also saw big pay days. Abelow, who is still working at the firm, was paid $2.7 million in cash, including a $1.25 million bonus, plus restricted stock valued at $1.5 million.
Woman Claims She Was Fired For Being “Too Hot” (Reuters)
A New Jersey woman said on Monday that she was dismissed from a temporary job at a New York lingerie warehouse because her male employers felt she was too busty and dressed too provocatively for the workplace. Wearing a form-fitting sequined black dress and black leather, sequin-studded boots, Lauren Odes, 29, said her Orthodox Jewish employers at Native Intimates told her that outfit and others like it were “too hot” for the warehouse. “We should not be judged by the size of our breasts or the shape of our body,” Odes said. Odes’s attorney, celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred, said she filed a gender and religious discrimination complaint with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission in New York.
$$$ J.P. Morgan Suspends Share Buyback [WSJ]
$$$ Gupta ‘Threw Away His Duties,’ Prosecutor Says In Opening [Bloomberg]
$$$ U.S. lets China bypass Wall Street for Treasury orders [Reuters]
$$$ MF Global’s Corzine Got More Than $8 Million in Year Before Collapse [WSJ]
$$$ S&P is looking for an associate to rate media and entertainment companies in Chicago – interested? [DBCC]
$$$ “On average, for every additional 1% a company returned to shareholders between 2009 and 2011, the CEO was paid 0.6% more last year, the analysis found. For every 1% decline in shareholder return, the CEO was paid 0.6% less. … In 2010, there was no correlation; for every 1% decrease in shareholder return, the average CEO was paid 0.02% more.” [WSJ]$$$ Enron Ex-CEO Seeks Retrial On ‘New Evidence,’ Lawyer Says [Bloomberg]
$$$ With New Firepower, S.E.C. Tracks Bigger Game [DealBook]
$$$ Taxi Panel May Raise Fares Up to 20% [NYT]
The Montana State Society’s Testicle Festival in Virginia Square was a rousing success this year. Festival-goers consumed 110 pounds of bull and bison testicles, 84 liters of Crown Royal and 1,500 cans of beer this year, according to event organizer and Society president Jed Link. All three were records for the event, now in its eighth […]
He’s got this.
JPMorgan Chase Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon has the experience needed to manage the fallout from trading losses, and market disruptions haven’t been serious, Bank of America CEO Brian T. Moynihan said today. Trading didn’t freeze and markets behaved “reasonably well” given the circumstances after Dimon disclosed at least $2 billion in trading losses at JPMorgan’s chief investment office, Moynihan said today at a Manhattan investor conference. Dimon has shown he’s got the skills to handle the affair, said Moynihan, whose Charlotte, North Carolina-based bank ranks second by assets behind New York-based JPMorgan.
Why don’t we talk abstractly about greenshoes for a while, because for some reason some people want to talk about them and hey, why not, they’re a thing. In talking about greenshoes, though, we are not going to use the F-word, because I swore to myself that last week was the end of that. We’re […]
The Facebook IPO left some investors seething. For Jared White, it left him feeling very lucky. “I seriously got struck by lightning and survived,” the 31-year-old Austin, Texas, trader said of his experiences amid the confusion that engulfed one of the highest-profile initial public offerings ever. At around 10:45 a.m. Friday, Mr. White says, he […]
How do the world’s leading hedge fund managers go about assembling their teams? While some choose the standard head hunter and “pitch me a stock” route with candidates who’ve had at least a few years of business experience and proven track records, others prefer a more outside the box approach. Bridgewater Associates, for instance, has said that instead of going after veterans of Wall Street, it prefers to hire people straight out of college, when their minds are still malleable. Founder Ray Dalio has stated: “Interest in the subject matter is a minor consideration…We are first interested in people’s values, second interested in their abilities, and least interested in their precise skills. We want independent thinkers who are willing to put aside their egos to find out what is true.”
Similarly, Pershing Square’s Bill Ackman, who has never been one to follow the crowd, eschews the typical hiring process in identifying talent. Instead, Ackman relies on gut instincts when it comes to making personnel calls, many of which occur outside the confines of the investing world. For example, a former analyst named Oliver White was hired after serving as Ackman’s guide on a fishing expedition in Tierra del Fuego. (Per Christine Harpers’s Confidence Game: “For six days, Ackman and White, a philosophy graduate from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, talked and fished. White explained technical details to Ackman about fly selection, casting the line, and luring the fish. Meanwhile, Ackman spotted the next member of Pershing Square’s investment team. “At the end of his stay, he asked me– no, he told me– I should come to New York and work for him.”) While Ackman was obviously impressed with White’s talent, it seems the offer was made on the basis of spending six days peering into the guy’s soul and seeing something special he knew in his plums would carry over into the investing world, rather than as a barter deal for more fishing lessons. In other cases, people have been asked to join the Pershing team after dazzling Ackman with a skill he wanted to acquire.
Days after Bill Ackman won control of Canadian Pacific Railway Ltd. (CP), the nation’s second-largest railway, he was at the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center trying to control his backhand against Wall Street’s biggest hitters. “My groundstrokes were actually pretty good,” the 46- year-old chief of Pershing Square Capital Management said toward the end of play at the R Baby Foundation doubles tournament. The event was a fundraiser to aid emergency pediatric care. “I had too many unforced errors.”
On Saturday, his partner was Elena Piliptchak of Tiger Europe Management, who played for Kansas State University and was the lone female competing. Ackman’s partner was 25-year-old Mariusz Adamski, a business major and No. 1 doubles player at Wake Forest University in North Carolina. After they were introduced three years ago by Jeffrey Appel, an investment banker, Ackman hired Adamski at Pershing.
Where will Bill find his next super star? Let us be the first to suggest the ranks of street magicians, as they have have all the classic BA lures including the possession of a skill he most likely doesn’t have and would like to learn and natural stage presence.
Harvard, Princeton Bankers Seek Net Glory In Tennis Match [Bloomberg]
Confidence Game [Christine Harper]
The past couple of weeks, some might argue, have been the worst of Jamie Dimon’s professional career. Although being fired by Sandy Weill in 1998 was obviously a distressing time in Dimon’s life, a JPMorgan trader’s multi-billion dollar (and counting) loss appears to be even more painful for the CEO, who now has a reputation (and a title: “America’s Least Hated Banker”) to defend. While it’s unlikely that the blunder will cost him his job, every article written questioning Dimon’s judgment, suggesting that he is in fact fallible, and wondering aloud if he is simply a pretty face (that is about to get the regulation it has vociferously argued against rammed down its throat) clearly hurts. So far, Dimon has chosen to frame the situation, at least publicly, as a group fuck-up, one for which the responsibility is shared among himself, The Whale, The Whale’s bosses, and The Whale’s bosses’ bosses. Over the weekend, though, a heretofore unmentioned character, whose actions set in motion the events that served to tarnish JD’s halo, was added to story. And now, Dimon has a place to channel his anger: on a bloodsucking vermin whose days are numbered.
Ever since JPMorgan Chase disclosed a multibillion-dollar trading loss this month, the central mystery has been how a bank known for its skill at risk management could err so badly. As early as 2010, the senior banker who has been blamed for the debacle, Ina Drew, began to lose her grip on the bank’s chief investment office, according to current and former traders. She had guided the bank through some of the most rugged moments of the 2008 financial crisis, earning the trust of Jamie Dimon, JPMorgan’s chief executive, in the process. But after contracting Lyme disease in 2010, she was frequently out of the office for a critical period, when her unit was making riskier bets, and her absences allowed long-simmering internal divisions and clashing egos to come to the fore, the traders said. The morning conference calls Ms. Drew had presided over devolved into shouting matches between her deputies in New York and London, the traders said. That discord in 2010 and 2011 contributed to the chief investment office’s losing trades in 2012, the current and former bankers said.
“When Ina was there, things ran smoothly,” one former trader there said. But Ms. Drew’s firm hand began to weaken after she contracted Lyme disease. Her absences opened the door for tensions among her deputies to flare into the open…Most significant, her deputy in New York was increasingly at loggerheads with her deputy in London who spearheaded the strategy behind the losing bet, Achilles Macris, the current and former traders said. But there was only so much she could do when she was away.
So, first off, the tick that bit Drew is a dead man (though probably a woman, as “the female adult is usually the one causing the most bites as males usually die after mating”). If people thought Dimon was mad after being informed of the losses, just wait. He’s going to find that bitch tick and shoot her with a cannon. Next, it’s time to put some safeguards in place to protect his bank from anymore “surprises.” Effective immediately, JPMorgan employees are banned from venturing into the forest, for any reason whatsoever. Same goes for grasslands, marshes, and anywhere tall grass grows. Anyone planning on prancing through the meadows in slow motion to meet up with and embrace a loved one in some kind of romantic gesture can forget it. The JMPorgan Outdoor Club is officially disband. Contact with children who are cub scouts is forbidden. Any girl scouts who attempt to set foot on the premises in order to sell cookies will be shot on sight. (These people are breeding grounds for ticks, what with their expeditions into the woods for merit badges and whatnot. He’s going first derivative here, while at the same time trying to not enact mandates that make him look ridiculous.)
JPMorgan CIO Risk Chief Said To Have Trading-Loss History (Bloomberg)
Irvin Goldman, who oversaw risks in the JPMorgan Chase & Co. (JPM) unit that suffered more than $2 billion in trading losses, was fired by another Wall Street firm in 2007 for money-losing bets that prompted a regulatory sanction at the firm, Cantor Fitzgerald LP, three people with direct knowledge of the matter said. JPMorgan appointed Goldman in February as the top risk official in its chief investment office while the unit was managing trades that later spiraled into what Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon called “egregious,” self-inflicted mistakes. The bank knew when it picked Goldman that his earlier work at Cantor led regulators to penalize that company, according to a person briefed on the situation.
Risk Manager’s Past Scrutinized (WSJ)
Mr. Goldman joined J.P. Morgan’s CIO in January 2008 as a trader. The bank placed him on leave in September 2008 after it learned that NYSE Arca had opened a regulatory inquiry tied to his trading activities at Cantor Fitzgerald, people familiar with the matter said. After J.P. Morgan placed him on leave, Mr. Goldman founded a consulting firm based in New York called IJG Advisors LLC. He rejoined J.P. Morgan in September 2010 in the Chief Investment Office, this time focusing on strategy. Current J.P. Morgan Chase Chief Risk Officer John Hogan chose Mr. Goldman to serve as CRO of the office, a position that had been filled by Peter Weiland, who remains with J.P. Morgan’s CIO. Mr. Hogan wasn’t aware of the Cantor Fitzgerald incident or the earlier trading losses at J.P. Morgan Chase, said a person close to the bank.
Eurobonds To Be Discussed At EU Summit (Reuters)
Merkel has said she is not opposed to jointly underwritten euro area bonds per se, but believes it can only be discussed once the conditions are right, including much closer economic integration and coordination across the euro zone, including on fiscal matters. That remains a long way off.
Will Greece Be Able to Print Drachma in a Rush? (Reuters)
If or when policymakers finally decide Greece should leave the euro, the exit could happen so quickly that “new drachma” currency notes might not be printed in time. “It would be chaos,” says Marios Efthymiopoulos, a visiting scholar at Johns Hopkins University Center for Advanced International Studies and president of Thessaloniki-based think tank Global Strategy. “The banks would collapse and you would have to nationalize them. You wouldn’t be able to pay anyone except in coupons. There is only one (currency) printing press in Greece. It is in the museum in Athens and it doesn’t work any more.”
Ryanair CEO: ‘No’ Campaigners in Irish Vote Are Crazy (CNBC)
“I think Ireland will vote yes in the referendum and Ireland should vote yes. We have no alternative. People who are borrowing $15 billion a year to keep the lights turned on don’t have the wherewithal to vote no to the people that are lending them the money. There is no argument for voting no,” Michael O’Leary, CEO of budget airline Ryanair said. He described “no” campaigners as a “bunch of idiots and lunatics.”
Barclays To Sell Entire BlackRock Stake (WSJ)
Barclays said BlackRock agreed to repurchase $1 billion worth of the 19.6% stake that the bank holds in the asset-management company. The remainder of the stake will then be listed on a stock exchange. The decision to sell comes as the bank faces pressure from investors to boost its return on equity and prepares to mitigate the effects of regulation that will force the lender to hold a bigger capital buffer.
Mark Zuckerberg Gets Married (AP)
The couple met at Harvard and have been together for more than nine years, a guest who insisted on anonymity said. The ceremony took place in Zuckerberg’s backyard before fewer than 100 guests, including Facebook’s chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg. The guests all thought they were coming to celebrate Chan’s graduation but were told after they arrived that the event was in fact a wedding. “Everybody was shocked,” the guest said. The two had been planning the marriage for months but were waiting until Chan had graduated from medical school to hold the wedding. The timing wasn’t tied to the IPO, since the date the company planned to go public was a “moving target,” the guest said. Zuckerberg designed the ring featuring “a very simple ruby.”
Hedge Funds Rebuild Euro Bear Bets On Greek Exit Banks Weigh (Bloomberg)
Hedge funds and other large speculators, which pared trades that would profit from a drop in the euro to the lowest levels since November, rebuilt them to a record high last week, figures released May 18 by the Washington-based Commodity Futures Trading Commission showed. The premium for options that grant the right to sell the euro has more than doubled since March.
Nasdaq CEO Blames Software Design For Delayed Facebook Trading (Bloomberg)
Nasdaq OMX Group, under scrutiny after shares of Facebook Inc. were plagued by delays and mishandled orders on its first day of trading, blamed “poor design” in the software it uses for driving auctions in initial public offerings.
Fed Proves More Bullish Than Wall Street Forecasting U.S. Growth (Bloomberg)
Stephen Stanley, chief economist at Pierpont Securities LLC, has derided the Federal Reserve for downplaying improvement in the U.S. economy. Yet his 2.6 percent forecast for growth this year is below the midpoint in the central bank’s projection of 2.4 percent to 2.9 percent…“I’ve been banging my head against the wall,” said Stanley in Stamford, Connecticut, a former researcher at the Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond, who had predicted an interest- rate increase as early as last year and now says the Fed probably will tighten in the middle of next year. “They’re willing to let things run for longer and let inflation accelerate more than historically.”
Judge mulls suit vs. woman sending messages to driving boyfriend (NYP)
In a case believed to be the first of its kind in the country, a New Jersey college student could be held liable this week for texting her boyfriend — knowing he was behind the wheel — and allegedly causing him to crash into a couple riding a motorcycle. “She texts. Instantly, he texts back, and, bang, the accident occurs,” said Skippy Weinstein, attorney for motorcycle enthusiasts David and Linda Kubert, both 59, who lost their left legs in the horrific 2009 accident in Mine Hill. It’s now up to a Superior Court judge in Morristown, NJ, to decide whether Shannon Colonna can be added to the suit against driver Kyle Best.
$$$ JPMorgan Returned $168M To MF Global, Trustee Says [Bloomberg]
$$$ Chesapeake Cuts Board Compensation [WSJ]
$$$ Ben Horowitz: MBAs aren’t as bad as everyone thinks [PandoDaily]
$$$ Bloomberg TV’s Matt Miller vents about Nasdaq FB glitches to NYSE traders [Bloomberg TV]
$$$ Boston radio talk show host Howie Carr released evidence that appears to confirm [Elizabeth] Warren may have plagiarized at least three of the five recipes she submitted to the 1984 Pow Wow Chow cookbook edited by her cousin Candy Rowsey. Two of the possibly plagiarized recipes, said in the Pow Wow Chow cookbook to have been passed down through generations of Oklahoma Native American members of the Cherokee tribe, are described in a New York Times News Service story as originating at Le Pavilion, a fabulously expensive French restaurant in Manhattan. The dishes were said to be particular favorites of the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Cole Porter. The two recipes, “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat” and “Crab with Tomato Mayonnaise Dressing,” appear in an article titled “Cold Omelets with Crab Meat,” written by Pierre Franey of the New York Times News Service that was published in the August 22, 1979 edition of the Virgin Islands Daily News … [Breitbart via DI]
$$$ Morgan Stanley is looking for a VP in Global Regulatory Policy in New York [DBCC]
$$$ JPMorgan to be haunted by change in risk model [Reuters]
What does this tell you? The key facts are that 43mm shares of Facebook changed hands at $38.00, almost all of them at the bid, and another 28.5mm traded at $38.01, largely at the ask.* I am not really smart enough to interpret – humans and algorithms aware of the stabilizing bid may have thrown […]
For every Facebook millionaire, there is someone who missed out. Ali Fedotowsky gave it up for love. She left her job in Facebook’s ad-sales department in 2010 to star in her own reality TV show, “The Bachelorette.” Ms. Fedotowsky left behind her unvested, restricted Facebook stock units, says her spokeswoman, who says Ms. Fedotowsky isn’t […]
When you’ve made the executive decision to turn your business channel into the Facebook IPO Show, it can get difficult figuring out how to fill every second of airtime. Obviously there will be breathless coverage from every conceivable angle, a countdown clock, and segments on “the evolution of social media,” “advice for Mark Zuckerberg,” the emotions surrounding a delay in trading, venture capital’s feelings about Facebook, “what’s the deal with Facebook’s private shares,” how “Facebook makes its employees happy,” “networking Facebook’s ecosystem,” Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook profile, and whether Facebook is “your friend or foe.” But with the tech analyst who agreed weeks in advance to have Mark Zuckerberg’s face tattooed to his ass live on-air while network anchors discussed the significance it might have on how Facebook would close on its first day of trading backed out at the eleventh hour, CNBC found itself with a gaping hole in programming. Luckily, an unnamed producer who should win an Emmy for his or her work had the bright idea for this:
In the above clip, CNBC travels to Mackay Elementary school in Tenafly, NJ to pick a bunch of 8 year-old analysts’ minds on FB. Questions include:
* “Is Facebook cool? If so, how long will it be cool for?”
* “Would you rate Facebook a buy or a sell?”
* “How much would you spend on one share of Facebook” (Answers include $150 and $1,000)
* “Is it appropriate for a CEO to wear a hoodie? Would you take a guy in a suit more seriously?”