News

Plan D: A Hostile Takeover Of The Newark Bears

“Major League Baseball has approved three potential buyers to review the financial records of the San Diego Padres, team owner John Moores told MLB.com. Moores said one group is headed by movie executive Thomas Tull, another is led by former Dodgers owner Peter O’Malley and the third by billionaire hedge-fund manager Steven Cohen of SAC Capital Advisors. Cohen was an unsuccessful bidder for the Los Angeles Dodgers, who were sold in March.” [Bloomberg, Earlier: Steve Cohen Bids For Dodgers, Earlier: Steve Cohen Bids For Mets]

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163 Responses to “Plan D: A Hostile Takeover Of The Newark Bears”

  1. Rachel Phelps says:

    Steve – call me.

  2. HAM05 says:

    he going after em cause his wife is purro rican? (because they are the padres, which is a spanish word)

    • guest says:

      he's bid on three different teams in the last year. apparently any MLB team will do.

      • Bandersnatch says:

        Seriously, he's got that slutty, will settle for anything, too many appletinis look in his eyes. When the evening started he told himself that he would only be going home with the Yankees, Mets or Dodgers and now he's batting his eyes at the Padres?

    • P. Falcone says:

      Mine settled for a wardrobe of Broadway costume cast offs and a miniature farm animal that plays show tunes.

  3. Papa Smurf says:

    Stevie – when you win, can you replace Gargamel with a new mascot? We'd appreciate it.

  4. Fleece or Fight says:

    Is that robe Patagonia?

    -S. Cohen

  5. PermaGuestII says:

    The Pad's mascot is called the Swinging Friar??

    • Guest says:

      I have nuns my get-togethers; it's only fair to include priests as well.

      – Silvio B

  6. VonSloneker says:

    Pssst…Stevie. If your Padres bid doesn't work out, I hear that Chico's Bail Bonds is pulling out of their sponsorship deal with the Bad News Bears.

    – Lupus, VP LetThemPlay LLC

  7. guest says:

    Living on the East Coast and bidding for a West Coast team so you can only watch 25 games from the owners box is the NKI.

    • PermaGuestII says:

      Who says he keeps them on the West Coast?

      -guy looking forward to catching a Bridgeport Padres game

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    The friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him.

    He asked his mother to go and ask the friars to get out of the business. They ignored her too.

    So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town, to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close shop! Terrified, the friars did so, thereby proving that…

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  9. Corey Booker says:

    I don't have a problem with hedge funds either!

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