I just...what?

Serious Business Network Brings In Big Guns For Facebook IPO

When you’ve made the executive decision to turn your business channel into the Facebook IPO Show, it can get difficult figuring out how to fill every second of airtime. Obviously there will be breathless coverage from every conceivable angle, a countdown clock, and segments on “the evolution of social media,” “advice for Mark Zuckerberg,” the emotions surrounding a delay in trading, venture capital’s feelings about Facebook, “what’s the deal with Facebook’s private shares,” how “Facebook makes its employees happy,” “networking Facebook’s ecosystem,” Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook profile, and whether Facebook is “your friend or foe.” But with the tech analyst who agreed weeks in advance to have Mark Zuckerberg’s face tattooed to his ass live on-air while network anchors discussed the significance it might have on how Facebook would close on its first day of trading backed out at the eleventh hour, CNBC found itself with a gaping hole in programming. Luckily, an unnamed producer had the bright idea for this:

In the above clip, CNBC travels to Mackay Elementary school in Tenafly, NJ to pick a bunch of 8 year-old analysts’ minds on FB. Questions include:

* “Is Facebook cool? If so, how long will it be cool for?”
* “Would you rate Facebook a buy or a sell?”
* “How much would you spend on one share of Facebook” (Answers include $150 and $1,000)
* “Is it appropriate for a CEO to wear a hoodie? Would you take a guy in a suit more seriously?”

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78 Responses to “Serious Business Network Brings In Big Guns For Facebook IPO”

  1. Donny says:

    eight year olds, dude.

  2. t-bone says:

    not sure why CNBC is struggling…

  3. NakedShort says:

    JPMs eventual trading loss from supporting FB at $38 > loss from London Whale.

  4. The Truth says:

    Sad thing is this is better analysis than you get from Fast Money

  5. VonSloneker says:

    You people should be ashmed of yourselves…

    – The Ghost of Mark Haines

  6. guest says:

    "in fairness these kids are smarter than 99% of guests to have ever graced CNBC's airwaves" tag FTW.

  7. UBS Equities Trader says:

    I'm glad DB posted this video, now I can complete my notes from when it aired live

    -Slow Typer

  8. Lowly Assistant says:

    Mark Zuckerberg looks like he smells like pee.

    -7 Y/O Boy That Smells Like Pee

    • trojan_ says:

      CNBC: Hey look everybody, Mark peed his pants.
      Mark: Of course I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.
      CNBC: Really?
      Mark: YES. You ain't cool, unless you pee your pants.

  9. G. Zimmerman says:

    Never trust a guy in a hoodie.

    -G. Zimmerman

  10. soddy41 says:

    I like the "I like school" tee shirt

  11. CodyWillard says:

    Can't wait until they send it over to Darren Rovell live from Adidas HQ where they're furiously manufacturing Zuck commemorative sandals. #valueadd

  12. Pedo the Clown says:

    I love pajama day.

  13. guest says:

    All this manufactured hoopla has crowded out any discussion of the obvious problem with Facebook's future: about 10 years from now, the youngsters will regard it as just another stupid thing their old fogie parents do. And they'll be right.

  14. Old School Guy says:

    Was hoping that the headline meant they interviewed Christy Canyon.

  15. Turnip Truck says:

    Should've done a crossover with MSNBC and gone to Pelican Bay or Corcoran to ask those folks these questions. Some Aryan Brotherhood guy would probably have shanked the interviewer for bringing down the white race with his stupidity.

  16. Guest says:

    The only thing that got me through the day on the trading floor was watching (not listening to) Kayla speak mindlessly about how NASDAQ had to be the cause of a poor IPO day.

    – Guy who wants Kayla's number already

  17. Guest says:

    Matt taking the day off, or is there another work in three volumes headed our way?

  18. E. Spitzer says:

    If any of these kids rates FB as a buy, sell, hold or anything else and then derives any income from investment banking revenues there is going to be hell to pay!!!! Also, has anyone seen my socks?

  19. Milk Carton Quant says:

    Brevity? Funny tags? No charts!? Where's the real Matt?

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