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Warren Buffett And David Einhorn Are In Agreement Re: The Frigidity Of Their Disfavored Investment Ideas

Back in February, in his annual letter to investors, Berkshire Hathaway chief Warren Buffett spent a good bit of time discussing why one shouldn’t own gold. Beyond the fact that, according to WB, gold doesn’t “change in size and [is] incapable of producing anything,” and you’d be much better off buying farmland (which “a century from now will have produced staggering amounts of corn, wheat, cotton and other crops and will continue to produce that valuable bounty”) or shares of Exxon Mobil (which “will probably have delivered trillions of dollars in dividends to its owners”), the Oracle of Omaha had one incontrovertible, be all end all reason for eschewing the metal: its unfuckability. Oh sure, you can do things to a cube, you can fondle it, you can talk dirty to it, you can send nude pictures of yourself, you can even drill a hole in it and fuck it senseless, but, the thing is, the cube will not respond. No reciprocation, no gratitude, not even a sign it enjoyed itself.  For Buffett, no further argument was necessary as to the worthlessness of the commodity. (Silver, on the other hand, will make you feel like you’re 18 again.) Anyway, David Einhorn sort of feels the same way about the dollar.

Greenlight Capital 1Q2012 Letter To Investors [PDF]
Related: Don’t Think He Hasn’t Tried

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140 Responses to “Warren Buffett And David Einhorn Are In Agreement Re: The Frigidity Of Their Disfavored Investment Ideas”

  1. Kegels123 says:

    Thanks for that philosophical gem David. Guess what actually is fuckable? Jelly donuts. Keep those printing presses running.

    -Michael Moore

  2. ILoveLamp says:

    Lay the bills end-to-end and cover Omaha, Nebraska? I've never been to Omaha, but I'll bet it's wider than a dollar bill. At least some of those bills are going to have to be placed side by side, rather than end-to-end.

    • Guest says:

      You've never been? Oh you should go!

      – Shirley M. Busybody, 113 Mayflower Cirle (two blocks back from 168th and Dodge)

    • Dorothy Parker says:

      If all the girls from Vassar were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

  3. D.S.K. says:

    Unfuckability? What does that mean?

  4. Kaaaarrrrlllll says:

    Lagging greek sex industry + need to promote equality of gold-fucking opportunity = New Gold Dildos made in Athens! It's the classic 'win-win!!'

    Hello? Anyone? Nevermind – I'll show myself out.

  5. Confused says:

    Is he parroting Buffett, or mocking him? Or both?

  6. Guest says:

    Buffett pounded a Dairy Queen in her blizzard knot once. Almost froze his nuts off.

    -The Munger

  7. M. Perkins says:

    Munger: Knock, knock….
    Buffett: Who's there?
    Munger: "Einhorn…"
    Buffett: Einhorn who?

    *Sounds of backslapping and laughing*

  8. Omaha Gas Scheduler says:

    "It's pronounced "bee-AT-triss" !!!

  9. Guest says:

    You could also swim in it.

    -S. McDuck

  10. Fondle? says:

    Oh nooo, I'm sorry the word we were looking for is "bundle". You could bundle the money.

  11. Felix Dennis says:

    If it flies, floats or fornicates… rent it.

  12. Ogler says:

    The Druries are looking understatedly spectacular today, by the way.

  13. Warren says:

    You could wipe your ass with it. Try that with your gold bars, Einhorn.

  14. W. Tilson says:

    Pump your brakes Einhorn.

  15. Nailz6 says:

    Returning 6.6% in a month and moving Herbalife makes you a God.

  16. Edmund says:

    Einhorn's correct that tired old saws about packing gold into a cube and it not producing dividends are not valid reasons for deciding whether to invest in it or not.

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