Allen Stanford Has No Idea What You’re Talking About

“I didn’t run a Ponzi scheme, I didn’t defraud anybody, and there was never any intent to defraud anybody,” Mr. Stanford, wearing a green prison jumpsuit, told U.S. District Court Judge David Hittner before he was sentenced [to 110 years in prison]. [WSJ]

168 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (168)

  1. Posted by Director | June 14, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    Ordinary felon: What are you in for?

    Stan da man: "I'm innocent man !"

    Ordinary felon "Everybody's innocent, now turn ….."

    shaw -shank

  2. Posted by Incitatus | June 14, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    "In fact, I think there's been a huge misunderstanding, here. I am NOT Allen Stanford. It's SANFORD, your honor. No T."

  3. Posted by guest | June 14, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    What brand jumpsuit?

    -Pat Bateman

  4. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    He's about to learn who the tickle monster really is. Now lets have a soap fight.

  5. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    These aren't the droids you're looking for.

    -O. B. Kenobi, CFA

  6. Posted by Oswald | June 14, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Schillinger: Like my tattoos? I'm going to get you one.
    Stanford: No, thanks.
    Schillinger: Oh, yeah, I'm going to brand you myself.
    Stanford: Livestock gets branded.
    Schillinger: Yeah, livestock, that's what you are… my livestock. Because now, Stanford, your ass belongs to me.

  7. Posted by Texas Talapia | June 14, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    Worst comment since Berlin.

  8. Posted by P. Bateman | June 14, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Jean Paul Gaultier.

  9. Posted by Jerry's Kids | June 14, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Victim 8 again?

  10. Posted by Director | June 14, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    Comments are weak today. weakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk……

  11. Posted by H. Munster | June 14, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    What is a yute?

  12. Posted by guest | June 14, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    Feel free to step it up.

  13. Posted by Director | June 14, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    There we go, plus 1

  14. Posted by derp | June 14, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    It woulda worked but he forgot to do the hand waving part.

    - Obi-Wan

  15. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    UBS sucks.

  16. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 3:37 PM

    Meat me in the Minetta's men's steam room. Stretch your scrotum over your head so I know its you.

  17. Posted by Bandersnatch | June 14, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    The comments are weak. The fucking comments are weak? You're weak. I've been on the web site for fifteen years…

  18. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | June 14, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    I’m sure he will be warmly welcomed by the other innocent men in the showers

  19. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    Soon he will be forced to get a tattoo on his face that says "Daddy's Little Girl"

    -Daddy of D Block

  20. Posted by guest | June 14, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    In related news, Congress has no idea what a hedge is either.

  21. Posted by The Juice | June 14, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    But, theoretically of course, if I were to have defrauded hundreds of people, here's how I would have done it.

    - Allen Stanford autobiography, circa 2022

  22. Posted by Ping | June 14, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    What is this shit? What's up with all the prison masochism closet homosexual fetishists on the site today?

  23. Posted by The Locks | June 14, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    D- Block !!!

  24. Posted by Pong | June 14, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    your turn.

  25. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 4:55 PM

    ^minus 30.

  26. Posted by Kels ! | June 14, 2012 at 4:57 PM

    Wall St. is full of homos…in the closet….or the boardroom.

  27. Posted by History Major | June 14, 2012 at 4:57 PM

    Legitimate years?

  28. Posted by PermaGuestII | June 14, 2012 at 5:08 PM

    Serious Q– does the Carribbean Knight get sent to the same Federal slammer as Berns? Or is it like shrews or siamese fighting fish or something– you can't have two in the same habitat b/c they'll kill each other?

  29. Posted by JDan | June 14, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    you have no sense of humor do you?

  30. Posted by mrpink | June 14, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    …your point is??

  31. Posted by Guest | June 14, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    Awful. Such a terrible comment shouldn't be associated with such a great movie.

  32. Posted by Beast from the east | June 14, 2012 at 7:13 PM

    I was gonna ask the same Q as I too lazy to read the whole article to find out where he'll be doing time.

  33. Posted by Colonel Sanders | June 14, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    A waste of a perfectly good Mustache.

  34. Posted by tim | June 15, 2012 at 7:13 AM

    Hey!

    A. Stanford

  35. Posted by Wire | June 15, 2012 at 7:58 AM

    Andrew Liveris and Frank Quattrone will carry on the fight.

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    I had no choice but to go onto another computer at work, just to give you one more thumbs down.

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    - Matt Levine

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    - Matt Levine

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