agree to disagree

Allen Stanford Has No Idea What You’re Talking About

“I didn’t run a Ponzi scheme, I didn’t defraud anybody, and there was never any intent to defraud anybody,” Mr. Stanford, wearing a green prison jumpsuit, told U.S. District Court Judge David Hittner before he was sentenced [to 110 years in prison]. [WSJ]

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168 Responses to “Allen Stanford Has No Idea What You’re Talking About”

  1. Director says:

    Ordinary felon: What are you in for?

    Stan da man: "I'm innocent man !"

    Ordinary felon "Everybody's innocent, now turn ….."

    shaw -shank

    • Guest says:

      Awful. Such a terrible comment shouldn't be associated with such a great movie.

    • The Juice says:

      I had no choice but to go onto another computer at work, just to give you one more thumbs down.

  2. Incitatus says:

    "In fact, I think there's been a huge misunderstanding, here. I am NOT Allen Stanford. It's SANFORD, your honor. No T."

  3. guest says:

    What brand jumpsuit?

    -Pat Bateman

  4. Guest says:

    He's about to learn who the tickle monster really is. Now lets have a soap fight.

  5. Guest says:

    These aren't the droids you're looking for.

    -O. B. Kenobi, CFA

  6. Oswald says:

    Schillinger: Like my tattoos? I'm going to get you one.
    Stanford: No, thanks.
    Schillinger: Oh, yeah, I'm going to brand you myself.
    Stanford: Livestock gets branded.
    Schillinger: Yeah, livestock, that's what you are… my livestock. Because now, Stanford, your ass belongs to me.

  7. Director says:

    Comments are weak today. weakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk……

  8. Director says:

    There we go, plus 1

  9. derp says:

    It woulda worked but he forgot to do the hand waving part.

    – Obi-Wan

  10. Abe_Froman_ says:

    I’m sure he will be warmly welcomed by the other innocent men in the showers

  11. Guest says:

    Soon he will be forced to get a tattoo on his face that says "Daddy's Little Girl"

    -Daddy of D Block

  12. guest says:

    In related news, Congress has no idea what a hedge is either.

  13. The Juice says:

    But, theoretically of course, if I were to have defrauded hundreds of people, here's how I would have done it.

    – Allen Stanford autobiography, circa 2022

  14. Ping says:

    What is this shit? What's up with all the prison masochism closet homosexual fetishists on the site today?

  15. History Major says:

    Legitimate years?

  16. PermaGuestII says:

    Serious Q– does the Carribbean Knight get sent to the same Federal slammer as Berns? Or is it like shrews or siamese fighting fish or something– you can't have two in the same habitat b/c they'll kill each other?

    • Beast from the east says:

      I was gonna ask the same Q as I too lazy to read the whole article to find out where he'll be doing time.

  17. Colonel Sanders says:

    A waste of a perfectly good Mustache.

  18. Cheeseburger Eddie says:

    Fuk yea….that mustache just get me so moist

    – Matt Levine

  19. Cheeseburger Eddie says:

    ….like dripping all over my thighs here

    – Matt Levine

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