As you may have heard, later today Jamie Dimon will once again testify on Capitol re: a certain whale’s multi-billion dollar losses. Unlike last week’s hearing, conducted by the relatively reasonable Senate Banking Committee, this time Dimon will face questions and screeching from the relatively bat-shit House Financial Services Committee, a group of people we hope will not hold back. Yet despite the HFSC’s history of making witnesses look good, not matter how egregious their offense, by conducting inquiries in a manner that would suggest recreational bath salts abuse by the Congressmen and women, Bloomberg’s Tom Keene was still worried earlier this morning about Dimon’s ability to navigate the hearing.  One person who wasn’t? Keene’s Bloomberg TV Surveillance guest Meredith Whitney. According to the analyst, Dimon be more than fine and while we’re on the subject, not that you asked, she can think of another bank CEO who’d crack under Congressional questioning on account of the fact that he doesn’t have Dimon’s eyes, which you could get lost in.

“[Dimon] is, like nobody else…he’s the antithesis of Blankfein. He charms. He’s incredible. [Last week] he gave the senators a massage and they gave him a massage back. You see a complete juxtaposition between the two.

So, 1. How dare you, lady? Lloyd’s impish smile and comedic timing don’t do it for you? And 2. We thought these kind of low blows were reserved for Vikram.

Banking Industry Must Reinvent Itself, Says Whitney [Bloomberg TV]
Related: Meredith Whitney Cannot Stress Enough How Little She Thinks Of Citigroup

19 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (19)

  1. Posted by guest | June 19, 2012 at 12:33 PM

    You don't do it for me either.


  2. Posted by Puck It | June 19, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    I'd rather look at the tits of the slut thrown off the Southwest flight for ten minutes than look at MW's face for ten seconds.

  3. Posted by guest | June 19, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    Tell us how you really feel?

  4. Posted by VandelayCapital | June 19, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    Did someone open a time capsule from 2008? Sell.

  5. Posted by guest | June 19, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    On second thought…… I do get lost in your chin.


  6. Posted by guest | June 19, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    Paging the joke briefer….

  7. Posted by Guest | June 19, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Recreational bath salts use?!

    – guest terrified of seeing Spencer Bachus chew Dimon's sweet mug to bits

  8. Posted by AU | June 19, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    This beotch always downgrades Goldie after I buy it. She's a lame. Starting "research" firms that have no research is the NKI.

  9. Posted by Dude | June 19, 2012 at 1:20 PM

    Man, she has a large chin.

  10. Posted by artie help | June 19, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    she's spot on , and HOT.

  11. Posted by AU | June 19, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    If you think she's hot, you need to get out of the tri-state more often….

  12. Posted by Grinders | June 19, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    Only way that makes sense is if you have a similar looking pug you'd like to sire some puppies with.

  13. Posted by Guest | June 19, 2012 at 2:05 PM

    I didn't know Matt Damon was starring in a Birdcage remake.

  14. Posted by Jay L. | June 19, 2012 at 2:20 PM

    I happen to find her extremely attractive

  15. Posted by Intel op | June 19, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Matt's better looking and smarter.

  16. Posted by Transformer | June 19, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    Whitney. Leno in disguise.

  17. Posted by 25th Hour Trader | June 19, 2012 at 6:59 PM

    Stick with munis.

    -R. Santelli

  18. Posted by Kristi Spires | September 9, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    fantastic do it.

  19. Posted by bookmarking submission | September 10, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    IhZ4Hx Im obliged for the blog post. Really Cool.