Opening Bell: 06.21.12

SEC Said To Depose SAC’s Cohen In Insider-Trading Probe (Bloomberg)
Cohen, 56, was recently deposed by Securities and Exchange Commission investigators in New York about trades made close to news such as mergers and earnings that generated profits at his hedge fund, said one of the people, who asked not to be identified because the investigation isn’t public. Neither Cohen nor SAC Capital, which oversees about $14 billion, has been accused of wrongdoing.

Four-Week Jobless Claims Average Reaches 2012 High (Reuters)
Initial claims for state unemployment benefits slipped 2,000 to a seasonally adjusted 387,000, the Labor Department said. The prior week’s figure was revised up to 389,000 from the previously reported 386,000.

Lawmakers Call For IPO Overhaul (WSJ)
A bipartisan group of lawmakers called on regulators to overhaul the way initial public offerings are conducted, concerned that last month’s flubbed stock sale by Facebook shows the current system unfairly punishes small investors. In a letter to Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Mary Schapiro, Rep. Darrell Issa (R., Calif.) prodded the agency to revamp rules for pricing and disclosure in IPOs. Mr. Issa, who wrote the letter on behalf of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, said the social-networking company’s steep share-price decline since its May 18 offering is a sign that investment banks are able to “dictate pricing while only indirectly considering market supply-and-demand.” Separately, the Democratic chairman of a subcommittee of the Senate Banking Committee said regulatory changes are needed to bolster investor confidence sapped by Facebook’s botched debut.

Facebook’s 22% Rally Helps Stock Avoid Worst IPO Return In U.S. (Bloomberg)
So that’s something!

Riskier Bets Pitched To Asia’s Rising Rich (WSJ)
In Japan, brokers are dangling what they claim is a tasty product in front of wealthy investors: a “triple-decker” that uses options to squeeze higher returns from stocks, “junk” bonds or other assets. If a triple-decker doesn’t suit an investor’s fancy, there is the increasingly popular—and slightly less complex—”double-decker.” Elsewhere in Asia, so-called hybrid bonds and other high-yield varieties can be had. Investors in Singapore recently could buy so-called perpetual bonds through ATMs. Across Asia, brokers are pushing to sell increasingly complex products to the region’s expanding ranks of investors, especially wealthy ones. These types of products appeal to those hungry for yield who normally focus on stocks and real estate but are worried about falling equity markets and the sudden shortage of initial public offerings.

BlueMountain Said To Help Unwind JPMorgan’s Whale Trades (Bloomberg)
A hedge fund run by a former JPMorgan Chase executive who helped create the credit- derivatives market is aiding the lender as it unwinds trades in an index at the heart of a loss of more than $2 billion. BlueMountain Capital Management LLC, co-founded by Andrew Feldstein, has been compiling trades in Series 9 of the Markit CDX North America Investment Grade Index in recent weeks, then selling the positions to the New York-based bank, according to three people outside the firms who are familiar with the strategy. JPMorgan tapped BlueMountain as a middleman after trades in its London chief investment office grew so large that the bank was creating price distortions that hedge funds sought to exploit, said the market participants, who asked not to be identified because they weren’t authorized to discuss the trades. BlueMountain was one of the funds that benefited from the price dislocations, the people said.

US Olympic committee send cease and desist letter to knitting Olympics (TNT)
The US Olympic committee has sent a cease and desist letter to the social networking group Ravelry, who had organised a Ravelympics in which contestants would compete in events such as ‘scarf hockey’ while watching the actual Games on TV…The US Olympic Committee has said that “the athletes of Team USA have spent the better part of the entire lives training for the opportunity to compete at the Olympic Games and represent their country in a sport that means everything to them” and that “using the name ‘Ravelympics’ for a competition that involves an afghan marathon and sweater triathlon tends to denigrate the true nature of the Olympic Games”.

Romney Campaign Said To Ask Scott To Downplay Job Gains (Bloomberg)
Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign asked Florida Governor Rick Scott to tone down his statements heralding improvements in the state’s economy because they clash with the presumptive Republican nominee’s message that the nation is suffering under President Barack Obama, according to two people familiar with the matter. Scott, a Republican, was asked to say that the state’s jobless rate could improve faster under a Romney presidency, according to the people, who asked not to be named.

Lonely Hedge Fund Bullish On Greece Tries To Woo Investors (Bloomberg)
In March, Elliott met with the investment chief of a family office in London who said within seconds of sitting down that the firm had no interest in giving money to a hedge fund wagering on Greece. The executive merely wanted to hear his story, Elliott, the founder of Naftilia Asset Management Ltd., said in a telephone interview from his office in Athens. Elliott, 39, responded by asking a few questions of his own, including whether the executive had invested in Russia after its 1998 currency crisis, in Argentina 10 years ago after the nation defaulted on its debt or in the Standard & Poor’s 500 Index (SPX) in March 2009, when the benchmark plunged to its lowest point in 13 years. Finally, Elliott questioned whether the family office’s investment chief had ever bought shares of Apple. In all cases, the answer was no. “Then you are not qualified to be discussing Greece with me because you have missed the best investment opportunities over the past 20 years,” Elliott retorted.

National Bank Of Greece To Sell Luxury Resort As Slump Bites (Bloomberg)
If you know anyone who’s interested: The 3.3 million-square-foot (307,000 square-meter) Astir Palace complex has already drawn investors’ interest, according to Aristotelis Karytinos, general manager of real estate at the lender. The Athens-based bank and Greece’s privatization fund, which owns part of the property, will put out a public tender in coming months, he said.

Fed Warns Of Risk To Economy (WSJ)
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke made clear in a news conference after the policy makers’ meeting that he is prepared to take further action if he doesn’t see progress on bringing down unemployment, which was 8.2% in May. “I wouldn’t accept the proposition though that the Fed has no more ammunition,” Mr. Bernanke said. He added, “if we don’t see continued improvement in the labor market we’ll be prepared to take additional steps.”

Australian mega-brothel gets go-ahead (AP)
A Sydney brothel has received the green light for a multi-million-dollar expansion which will see it become Australia’s largest sex premises, with rooms featuring multiple beds and pool tables. Plans to double the number of rooms at inner Sydney’s “Stiletto” into a mega-brothel complex were knocked back late last year by the city council on the grounds that it was too big. But the owners won an appeal to the Land and Environment Court this week, with Commissioner Susan O’Neill ruling the Aus$12 million ($12.2 million) development, including a wing for group bookings, should go ahead…Stiletto promotes itself as “the world’s finest short-stay boutique hotel and Sydney brothel”. Its standard hourly rate of Aus$370 includes room, lady of choice and beverages.

151 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (151)

  1. Posted by J. Supple | June 21, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    Things are looking up – fb rebound and I'm well hedged with the mega-brothel in Oz.

  2. Posted by Intact VCard | June 21, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    Under that definition, is the back seat of my Daewoo also a "short stay boutique hotel?"

  3. Posted by VonSloneker | June 21, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    Olympic Committee, we feel your pain…

    – Watergate & Lollapalooza

  4. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    one-way ticket to sydney please!

    -elliot s., new york, ny

  5. Posted by Bandersnatch | June 21, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    Regarding the hourly rate, is it pro rated if you only need 10 minutes?
    – Curious in NYC

  6. Posted by Alt_EST | June 21, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    1. Pass JOBS Act, weakening disclosure requirements and putting small investors at an even larger disadvantage.
    2. ????*
    3. Demand regulatory overhaul of IPO process to protect small investors
    4. Profit!**

    *See an opportunity to appear as if you care about the public
    **But probably still not for small investors

  7. Posted by Deleveraging | June 21, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    Am I the only one who found a piece on Double-Deckers & Triple-Deckers; followed by a story about the world' s biggest brothel somewhat tantalizing?

  8. Posted by HFguy | June 21, 2012 at 9:41 AM

    Japan, brokers are dangling what they claim is a tasty product in front of wealthy investors: a “triple-decker”

    – Japanese are really messed up. I wish I was there.

  9. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 9:46 AM

    SEC Investigator #1: "We've tried everything, he's as slippery as an eel"
    Mary Shapiro: "What about of sending him some smallpox infested Loro Piana zip top sweaters?"
    SEC Investigator #2.: "It's summer."
    Mary Shapiro: "Goddamit"

  10. Posted by London Risk Pro | June 21, 2012 at 9:47 AM

    The Whale helped us with a monumental "upper decker".

  11. Posted by Van Beek | June 21, 2012 at 9:48 AM

    Furthermore, using the name "Special Olympics" for a bunch of retards at a picnic is tasteless.

    — US Olympic Committee

  12. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 9:49 AM

    “ . . . using the name ‘Ravelympics’ for a competition that involves an afghan marathon and sweater triathlon tends to denigrate the true nature of the Olympic Games.”

    I would say that any competition that fails to offer sacrifices to Zeus, that has athletes who wear clothes, and that incorporates table tennis and synchronized swimming denigrates the true nature of the Olympic Games, but maybe I'm just old-fashioned that way.

  13. Posted by Steven A Cohen | June 21, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    These are clown questions, bro!

  14. Posted by salivatingmktmkr | June 21, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    You forgot "re-instate wide spreads for small and mid-caps under the guise of looking out for small investors"

  15. Posted by Hipster | June 21, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    Hey breh: We call bros "brah" now

  16. Posted by VonSloneker | June 21, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    I lived through the great bro-brah reallignment of the 90s. The cyclicality of bro, brah, brutha, or even the carribean variants "bred'ren" and "bro'da," is well documented.

    If you want to be part of the linguistic vanguard, start calling your bros "dred." It is the new "brah."

    – Term of Endearment Quant

  17. Posted by NYC whale | June 21, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    Furthermore, using the name "Special Olympics" for a bunch of retards at a picnic is retarded

    Fixed it for you.

  18. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    I always thought of a triple decker was a hamburger with a grilled cheese and bacon in between to doughnuts

    -Michael Moore

  19. Posted by PermaGuestII | June 21, 2012 at 10:19 AM

    One word: Curling.

  20. Posted by PermaGuestII | June 21, 2012 at 10:20 AM

    Thanks, chief.

  21. Posted by Guestard | June 21, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    I'd settle for a Brooklyn Decker.

  22. Posted by William R Somerset | June 21, 2012 at 10:27 AM

    It's like "Se7en," only it's Gasparino's "4our," the four, high profile convictions by the SEC for Obama.

    1- Gupta
    2- Cohen
    3- TBD
    4- TBD

  23. Posted by PointBreakFan | June 21, 2012 at 10:28 AM

    Look Bodhi, people are dead, the ride is over.

  24. Posted by HAM05 | June 21, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    did you guys hear that turtles have huge cocks?

  25. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 10:29 AM

    Blue Mountain said to help JPM unwind trades? Not anymore now that everyone on the Street will see them coming….

  26. Posted by UBS Grammar Quent | June 21, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    Huh, I thought my brothers name was Jeff.

  27. Posted by freeheelkook | June 21, 2012 at 10:30 AM

    So VS,

    1) Where'd you ski bum in the 90's?

    B) Where do you stand on telemarkers?

    Ba) How about white dudes with dreads?

  28. Posted by Lowly Assistant | June 21, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    If olympians aren't able to knit, the terrorists have won.

  29. Posted by Lowly Assistant | June 21, 2012 at 10:32 AM

    I'm not your chief, whitey.

    -Hiawatha

  30. Posted by A. rod | June 21, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    Hey!

  31. Posted by Jemaine | June 21, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    Making love
    Making love for
    Makin love for two
    Making love for two minutes

  32. Posted by A. Rodick | June 21, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    I'm an idiot

  33. Posted by The muppet master | June 21, 2012 at 10:39 AM

    Watch your mouth about the hallowed sport of table tennis!

  34. Posted by Judge Brah | June 21, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    I know

  35. Posted by Papas Capital GP | June 21, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    Any thoughts on correlations between fifty year storms and whale tail risk?

  36. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    go on…

  37. Posted by UBS CDS Trader | June 21, 2012 at 10:44 AM

    Huh?

    -Stamford sightseer

  38. Posted by HAM05 | June 21, 2012 at 10:46 AM
  39. Posted by Poop Coach | June 21, 2012 at 10:46 AM

    I have a strange urge to upper deck the office bathrooms now

  40. Posted by SoConfused | June 21, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    'THE developer planning Australia's largest brothel has been granted the right to proceed, but a court has curbed its ambitions by imposing a limit of 1.5 patrons to every sex worker.'

    1.5 johns per prostie? Math, how does it fcking work?

  41. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Do you think walruses sit around all day and are like why the fuck do I look like Michael Moore

  42. Posted by Laxbro | June 21, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Not sure why this is voted down. It's true, brah is the new bro.

  43. Posted by J Edgar Huuver | June 21, 2012 at 10:50 AM

    Stevie, the Mobile Skate Sharpening Van outside your manse may not have been exactly what it said it was. Looks like the Feds had the traps set all along:

    From a £5m Georgian pile to a prison cell, the downfall of greedy husband and wife insider traders: Secret tips from sister in the U.S. helped them to pocket a fortune
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2162174/J

    INSIGHT-Ex-Orioles player Eddie Murray is part of insider trading inquiry http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/06/20/usa-cri

  44. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 10:50 AM

    I'm surprised the Australians of all people would be anti-teamwork

  45. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    "Investors in Singapore recently could buy so-called perpetual bonds through ATMs."

    Will vids of this be on redtube soon?

    -SEC

  46. Posted by M. Levine | June 21, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    You forgot *** (just because footnotes are the NKI!)

  47. Posted by VonSloneker | June 21, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    1) All over Europe
    b) Used to be a hater. However, in my decrepitude, I've come to appreciate the glutes of titanium t-mark requires.
    Gamma) Only if you're Bob Marley's cracker grandson.

  48. Posted by Matt L. | June 21, 2012 at 11:06 AM

    Furiously charting and maniacally graphing the solution!**

    *Exercise for the reader: does the beverage selection likely include Margs? If so how manyer John?

    **I hope the rooms have Bloomberg terminals too!

  49. Posted by G. O. Bluth | June 21, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    I just use "mon frère".

    -G.O.B.

    – P.S. Anybody runs into some guy named "Hermano", let me know, I really need to have a chat with him.

  50. Posted by Mexi_Cant | June 21, 2012 at 11:27 AM

    Why don't we just pay female workers in finance in shoes instead of dollars?

    -Guy who just tripped over his coworkers cubicloset.

  51. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 11:29 AM

    We need a chart to understand.

  52. Posted by Swiss Miss | June 21, 2012 at 11:34 AM

    We can afford to do that?

    – UBS Diversity Comp Quant

  53. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    makes sense to me.

    -macquarie glory hole quant

  54. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    Happy to discuss my work in this area. Meet me at Bell's Beach. I'll be wearing the Nixon mask. Strangle Warchild with your leash so I know it's you.

  55. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    TMs just look so gay though.

  56. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 11:45 AM

    Is she barefoot right now?

    –Rex Ryan

  57. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    No, but I am.

    -Guy under your desk giving you a foot job.

  58. Posted by Guestmyname | June 21, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    Ackerman: What’s the difference, briefly, between gambling and investing?

    Dimon: When you gamble, on average, you lose. The house wins.

    Ackerman: That been my experience in investing.

    Dimon offers to find him a better investment advisor and Ackerman looks amused.

    Ackerman: I would tend to agree with you. But we seem to be treating them quite the same. I used to think all of Wall Street was on the level, that it facilitated investing, that it allowed people and institutions to put their money into something they believed in and believed would be helpful and beneficial and would grow and make money and especially good for the economy and on the side create a lot of jobs good for our country and good for America

    Now a lot of what we are doing with this “hedging,” and you can call it protecting your investment or whatever, but it’s basically gambling. You’re just betting that you might have been wrong. It doesn’t help anything succeed any more or encourage anything any more. It creates the possibility that people say “Do these guys really know what they are doing if they are now betting against their initial bet?” And then if you go and hedge against your hedge, which means you’re betting against your first bet, it seems to me that you are throwing darts at a dart board and putting a lot of money at risk just in case you were wrong the first time. I don’t see how that creates one job in America, I don’t see how it helps the American economy, I don’t see how it helps the housing market or the building market or the “let’s make steel” or widget market one tenth of a zillionth of a percent. What it helps is if you are right a majority of the time, then it makes a bunch of money for the guys who did it, and doesn’t help the company or the industry, the economy, or the country at all. And if you are wrong, it puts systemically everything at risk. And when I mean everything, I mean the confidence the American people, the investing community, and everybody else has in the system. And that’s a loss you can’t hedge against.

  59. Posted by Wire | June 21, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    Is that it?
    Aww yeah. That's it.

  60. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 12:04 PM

    and your point is?

  61. Posted by Baller | June 21, 2012 at 12:09 PM

    I pay my female interns in fingerbang units.

  62. Posted by Guestmyname | June 21, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    And your IQ is?

  63. Posted by Cut Me | June 21, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    More than "The Street" has seen me coming for years, and yet I'm still doing quite well.

    -Peter North

  64. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 12:33 PM

    Should have been 2 Johns per prostie as "Australians are the most receptive to the idea of having a threesome, 28% of the claim to have tried it".

    -LEH Quant

    *@SexFactsOfLife

  65. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 12:34 PM

    This point is essential. Dimon started his remarks by claiming that the US had the best capital markets in the world. Nothing like an appeal to American exceptionalism in DC. But he tried to present himself as aligned with their. In fact, the success of the US financial markets rests on the size of the American economy and on the fact that in the wake of the Great Depression, we created the best investor safeguards in the world, including regular, audited financial reports and prohibitions against insider trading, front running, and misleading or incomplete disclosures. Dimon and his peers are unabashedly out for what is best for banks, and argue that it is somehow good for the rest of us, when the evidence is overwhelming that the industry is more and more a cancer on the real economy.

    The US capital markets are running on brand fumes, the global economy is likely to have at best a faltering recovery, with a lot of people ground into penury by protracted joblessness and loss of savings and asset value. When the histories of this period are written, the top bankers like Dimon and their refusal to cede ground to the good of the public will be seen as a primary cause of persistent economic and social distress.

  66. Posted by Prioritizer | June 21, 2012 at 12:35 PM

    High enough to have secured a position that compensates me for spending my time doing things other than reading tl;dr comments on DB*

    *does not necessarily mean I wouldn't be interested in seeing matt jump into the comment section.

  67. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Poking fun and making up witty quotes is awesome and harmless but as a respectable and responsible financial blog there should some voice for criticism for the predatory capitalism the this blog's heroes employ and practice.

  68. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    and 1 sheep

  69. Posted by toilet guy | June 21, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    What's more impressive, the upper decker or the AC Slater?

  70. Posted by Barney Frank | June 21, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    Turtles all the way down, indeed!

  71. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    Run Forest, run.

    – J. Curran

  72. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    Hahahahahahahahahahahaahaha……….you're hilarious(:

  73. Posted by guy | June 21, 2012 at 1:03 PM

    Jobless Dartmouth Grad, is that you?

  74. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 1:08 PM

    You're such sensitive wimp . Too long? perhaps for one liner pompous morons who think they got some golden material to dispense. didn't read? you always comment on stuff you don't bother read? what does that make you?

  75. Posted by Laxbrah | June 21, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    Step off brah, the torch has been passed.

  76. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Pretend to be a plumber and doing your mom. that's me.

  77. Posted by Jerk Store | June 21, 2012 at 1:30 PM

    His mom is in a coma.

  78. Posted by Steven .k | June 21, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    <img src=http://www.mobilediscount.info/ikea/sso.jpg>I think the market was expecting QE and not just OT. <img src=http://www.mobilediscount.info/xbox/xss.jpg>

  79. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    Or as she calls it: under my spell.

  80. Posted by TBF Guy | June 21, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    Tough but fair.

  81. Posted by Trader Named Earl | June 21, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    Names like Ross are the reason we're down 200 points today.

  82. Posted by Guest | June 21, 2012 at 2:27 PM

    Do you seriously vote up all your comments yourself?

    I fixed that for you :)

  83. Posted by Your Sensei | June 21, 2012 at 2:28 PM

    Traders ross a lot of money in Japan.

  84. Posted by Greece | June 21, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    +1,000!

  85. Posted by Ross | June 21, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    No but you seem like someone who's insecure enough to do so.

    Now go stick both your hands a garbage disposal, you're really bad at that comment thing.

  86. Posted by pretzel logic trader | June 21, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    And you keep replying him because you have other things then reading tldr comments which is commenting on tldr comments.

  87. Posted by VonSloneker | June 21, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    Still cooler than snowboarding…

    Freeski>Downhill>t-mark>Cross Country>Snowboarding>Snowshoeing

    – S. DuMont

  88. Posted by fittin in | June 21, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    kindly explain: '…Dimon ..refusal to cede ground to the good of the public'

  89. Posted by guest | June 21, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    not sure if serious or someone from reddit found this site

  90. Posted by pretzel logic trader | June 21, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    I don't don't 'kindly'.

  91. Posted by VonSloneker | June 21, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    Australia: The land of men so lacking in sexual stamina the courts had to impose a "1.5 Johns per hour" speed limit on their whores. Sad…

    – Crocodile Humper

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