Yesterday, at approximately 10:30AM, scores of financial services employees breathed a collective sigh of relief. Relief that months of studying had paid off in the form of a passing score on the Level I and II CFA exams. Relief that, even though months of studying had been a total waste of time with nothing to show for it, they could get on with their lives and stop wondering. One guy was less lucky. He’s in a CFA holding cell right now pending an investigation, thanks to some supposedly suspect fidgeting and a couple proctors with itchy trigger fingers, possibly hoping to impress their superiors.

325 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (325)

  1. Posted by Mexi_Can | July 25, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    Matt, I'm so ashamed of you!

    – Mum

  2. Posted by guest | July 25, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    I can sympathize.

    M.J. Fox, CFA.

  3. Posted by guest | July 25, 2012 at 2:59 PM

    1) proceed in a drawn out fight to prove you didn't cheat 2) Charges are dropped…. 3) you finally receive your results 4) didn't pass

  4. Posted by derp | July 25, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    I admit I was making some hand gestures, but in my defense, the young man next to me asked where he might go to get himself clean, have a good meal, and generally do whatever he feels.

    – Victor Willis, CFA Candidate, Village Person

  5. Posted by Guest! | July 25, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    Did Dykstra open up a CFA prep course?

  6. Posted by Guest | July 25, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    My dealer never tells me I have a nervous tic

  7. Posted by Durka Durka | July 25, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    I thought that was just the signal for "Help, I've been captured by terrorists!"

    -Team America

  8. Posted by El Gueso | July 25, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    Mmm… Back in the days you were allowed to finger your girlfiend while taking the exam. It was seen as a test of your managerial skills. Guess things have changed.

  9. Posted by Sean George | July 25, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    Can't a guy just try and give his career a little bit of a boost while also feeling a little bit of that old thrill?

  10. Posted by CFgay | July 25, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    Simple defense: he had to take a shit

  11. Posted by G. Costanza | July 25, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

  12. Posted by Demographic | July 25, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    Poor guy has to take the test in Detroit, isn't that punishment enough?

  13. Posted by Guesty | July 25, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    I've always assumed "Special" in a title indicates that person is retarded. Please see Jonathan M. MacKesson, Special Investigator Exam Matters.

  14. Posted by investorcluzo | July 25, 2012 at 3:32 PM

    Don't worry about it bro, I get that a lot too.
    -Rob Thomson, 3rd Base Coach, NY Yankees

  15. Posted by gusty | July 25, 2012 at 3:38 PM

    CFA candidates in Detroit? next you'll be telling me there are black people in Maine.

  16. Posted by Guest | July 25, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    The real damning evidence is that he is third base coach on his 9 year old son's little league team.

  17. Posted by TheodoreBallgamePhD | July 25, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    It was the kung pao!

  18. Posted by guest | July 25, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    what?

  19. Posted by PermaGuestII | July 25, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    He's anticipating a future in which he needs to rescue his partner on the Dushanbe Road.

    Oh, and "Special Investigator – Exam Matters" < "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective"

  20. Posted by Guest | July 25, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Dale Doback: I manage a baseball team.
    Nancy Huff: Oh, little league?
    Dale Doback: Fantasy league.

  21. Posted by Wayne Campbell | July 25, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    "A sphincter says" for 200, Alex.

  22. Posted by güest | July 25, 2012 at 4:57 PM

    1) Post your ordeal on Dealbreaker
    2) Get banned by the CFAI due to breach of confidentiality
    3) ????
    4) Profit!

  23. Posted by alex | July 26, 2012 at 6:41 AM

    I am CFA, reluctant to pay for the annual membership fees. Who want to buy a CFA degree, it is a large poster

  24. Posted by vp_md | July 26, 2012 at 9:20 AM

    they're spies, but not like us

  25. Posted by Raj and Bernie | July 26, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Raj needed some stroking from his jail-house bitch. Did not know it would have those consequences

  26. Posted by leeminbrahs | July 26, 2012 at 2:42 PM

    He wasn't cheating. I guarantee he was either bugging out from popping a 30mg xr before the exam or he has Tourette's Syndrome.

  27. Posted by Guest | July 26, 2012 at 6:54 PM

    Any defense except "This is stupid, I was stuck in a chair for six hours and had an itch on my head" is an admission of guilt. Especially when you use the phrase "some unknown accomplice", implying, there was in fact, an accomplice.

    Sandusky < this douche < Jefferies IB

  28. Posted by Guest | July 26, 2012 at 9:00 PM

    Violation of the Code of Ethics and standard VII(B) of the Standards of Professional Conduct and applicable laws.

    See below:
    Proper
    -John Smith is a CFA charterholder.
    -Amy Jones, CFA, is a portfolio manager.
    -John Smith is a holder of the right to use the Chartered Financial Analyst designation.

    Improper
    -John Smith is a CFA.
    -John Smith and Amy Jones are CFAs.

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