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CFA Police: “The Candidate Was Moving His Hat And Hands Around Using What Appeared To Be Signals”

Yesterday, at approximately 10:30AM, scores of financial services employees breathed a collective sigh of relief. Relief that months of studying had paid off in the form of a passing score on the Level I and II CFA exams. Relief that, even though months of studying had been a total waste of time with nothing to show for it, they could get on with their lives and stop wondering. One guy was less lucky. He’s in a CFA holding cell right now pending an investigation, thanks to some supposedly suspect fidgeting and a couple proctors with itchy trigger fingers, possibly hoping to impress their superiors.

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325 Responses to “CFA Police: “The Candidate Was Moving His Hat And Hands Around Using What Appeared To Be Signals””

  1. Mexi_Can says:

    Matt, I'm so ashamed of you!

    – Mum

  2. guest says:

    I can sympathize.

    M.J. Fox, CFA.

  3. guest says:

    1) proceed in a drawn out fight to prove you didn't cheat 2) Charges are dropped…. 3) you finally receive your results 4) didn't pass

    • güest says:

      1) Post your ordeal on Dealbreaker
      2) Get banned by the CFAI due to breach of confidentiality
      3) ????
      4) Profit!

  4. derp says:

    I admit I was making some hand gestures, but in my defense, the young man next to me asked where he might go to get himself clean, have a good meal, and generally do whatever he feels.

    – Victor Willis, CFA Candidate, Village Person

  5. Guest! says:

    Did Dykstra open up a CFA prep course?

  6. Guest says:

    My dealer never tells me I have a nervous tic

  7. Durka Durka says:

    I thought that was just the signal for "Help, I've been captured by terrorists!"

    -Team America

  8. El Gueso says:

    Mmm… Back in the days you were allowed to finger your girlfiend while taking the exam. It was seen as a test of your managerial skills. Guess things have changed.

  9. Sean George says:

    Can't a guy just try and give his career a little bit of a boost while also feeling a little bit of that old thrill?

  10. CFgay says:

    Simple defense: he had to take a shit

  11. G. Costanza says:

    Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

  12. Demographic says:

    Poor guy has to take the test in Detroit, isn't that punishment enough?

  13. Guesty says:

    I've always assumed "Special" in a title indicates that person is retarded. Please see Jonathan M. MacKesson, Special Investigator Exam Matters.

  14. investorcluzo says:

    Don't worry about it bro, I get that a lot too.
    -Rob Thomson, 3rd Base Coach, NY Yankees

  15. gusty says:

    CFA candidates in Detroit? next you'll be telling me there are black people in Maine.

  16. Guest says:

    The real damning evidence is that he is third base coach on his 9 year old son's little league team.

  17. PermaGuestII says:

    He's anticipating a future in which he needs to rescue his partner on the Dushanbe Road.

    Oh, and "Special Investigator – Exam Matters" < "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective"

  18. alex says:

    I am CFA, reluctant to pay for the annual membership fees. Who want to buy a CFA degree, it is a large poster

    • Guest says:

      Violation of the Code of Ethics and standard VII(B) of the Standards of Professional Conduct and applicable laws.

      See below:
      Proper
      -John Smith is a CFA charterholder.
      -Amy Jones, CFA, is a portfolio manager.
      -John Smith is a holder of the right to use the Chartered Financial Analyst designation.

      Improper
      -John Smith is a CFA.
      -John Smith and Amy Jones are CFAs.

  19. Raj and Bernie says:

    Raj needed some stroking from his jail-house bitch. Did not know it would have those consequences

  20. leeminbrahs says:

    He wasn't cheating. I guarantee he was either bugging out from popping a 30mg xr before the exam or he has Tourette's Syndrome.

  21. Guest says:

    Any defense except "This is stupid, I was stuck in a chair for six hours and had an itch on my head" is an admission of guilt. Especially when you use the phrase "some unknown accomplice", implying, there was in fact, an accomplice.

    Sandusky < this douche < Jefferies IB

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