Opening Bell

Opening Bell: 07.25.12

Sandy Weill: Break Up The Big Banks (CNBC)
“What we should probably do is go and split up investment banking from banking, have banks be deposit takers, have banks make commercial loans and real estate loans, have banks do something that’s not going to risk the taxpayer dollars, that’s not too big to fail,” Weill told CNBC’s “Squawk Box.” He added: “If they want to hedge what they’re doing with their investments, let them do it in a way that’s going to be market-to-market so they’re never going to be hit.”

Bank Of England Spotted Risks At JPMorgan (WSJ)
More than a year before JPMorgan racked up billions of dollars in losses from bad trades in its London investment office, Bank of England officials raised concerns internally about potential risks arising from some of the office’s activities, but didn’t formally alert other regulators, according to people involved in the central bank’s talks. In late 2010, employees at the central bank worried that the London arm of J.P. Morgan’s Chief Investment Office had come to dominate some important corners of the city’s financial markets—including residential mortgage-backed securities—and they were concerned about the potential impact that could have on the stability of U.K. markets, these people said. The concerns were relayed to a top central-bank oficial. But the Bank of England doesn’t appear to have acted on the concerns or flagged them to regulators responsible for supervising J.P. Morgan.

Private-equity bigs: no proof of bid-rigging (NYP)
A handful of the country’s wealthiest and most powerful private-equity firms have asked a federal judge to toss an explosive investor lawsuit that claims the group conspired to rig the bids on $270 billion in deals over four years. The firms — including KKR, Bain Capital, Blackstone Group and Apollo Global Management — agreed not to bid on specific deals headed by a rival, thus fraudulently depressing the value of the deal. As a result, investors in those publicly-traded companies were short-changed. The group of 11 financial giants named in the suit, including Goldman Sachs and JPMorgan Chase, claim there is no evidence of a vast bid-rigging conspiracy.

New York Fed Faces Questions Over Policing Wall Street (Dealbook)
In recent years, the New York Fed has beefed up oversight. Under the president, William C. Dudley, the regulator has increased the expertise of its examiners and hired new senior officials. Even so, the JPMorgan debacle and the interest-rate investigation have raised questions about the New York Fed. They highlight how the regulator is hampered by its lack of enforcement authority and dogged by concerns that it is overly cozy with the banks.

Fed Moves Closer To Action (WSJ)
Amid the recent wave of disappointing economic news, conversation inside the Fed has turned more intensely toward the questions of how and when to move. Central bank officials could take new steps at their meeting next week, July 31 and Aug. 1, though they might wait until their September meeting to accumulate more information on the pace of growth and job gains before deciding whether to act.

Sidekick of Soccer Mom Madam to court: It’s not prostitution if you just pay to watch (NYDN)
Jaynie Mae Baker, the woman busted with accused Manhattan brothel operator Anna Gristina, revealed in court papers filed Tuesday that the undercover cop who arrested her watched two women have sex but didn’t participate in any. Baker’s lawyer, Robert Gottlieb, says the only recorded conversation in evidence that includes Baker took place July 19, 2011, at a Manhattan restaurant where his client, Gristina and the cop had lunch. The cop tells Baker and Gristina he is “looking for a little adventure” and to “please corrupt me,” but there’s no talk of arranging payment, Gottlieb says in the filing. Six days later in the sting operation, the cop is secretly videotaped in a room with two other women at Gristina’s alleged brothel on E. 78th St., but he does not participate in the sex. “The undercover officer apparently remains fully clothed and merely observed the two women perform for him,” Gottlieb writes…Gottlieb says there “was not a scintilla of evidence that was produced … establishing Ms. Baker’s involvement in arranging payment in exchange for any kind of sexual activity.” What occurred not prostitution because the undercover cop was not a participant, Gottlieb says. If watching is prostitution, then every strip club and porno director is guilty, too, he said.

Germans React Coolly To Moody’s Warning (WSJ)
Wolf Klinz, a German member of the European Parliament from the pro-business Free Democrats, Ms. Merkel’s junior coalition partner, said he doesn’t dispute Moody’s conclusions about Germany’s risks, but rather the timing of the announcement. “There are no hard facts yet” about Germany’s ultimate price tag, Mr. Klinz said. “Why come out with this right now? It may have political implications” even if that wasn’t the intention, he said.

Preet hit with suit by law student (NYP)
Second-year law student Benula Bensam sued Bharara, along with the US Marshals Service and the Justice Department, in Manhattan federal court for “unreasonable search and seizure” after the marshals took her cell phone away during the trial of ex-Goldman Sachs director Rajat Gupta. The 25-year-old Bensam, who is representing herself, said the marshals kept her phone overnight after she refused to answer their questions about letters she wrote to Judge Jed Rakoff during Gupta’s insider-trading trial. Bensam, who attends law school at Yeshiva University and lives in the Woodside section of Queens, stopped writing Rakoff about the case after he reprimanded her.
In the complaint, Bensam said Bharara “may have instigated” her dispute with the marshals.

Euro Zone as We Know It Has 2 Years Left: Jim O’Neill (CNBC)
“Two years maximum is my perception of the time the euro zone has left to survive in its current form, though the reality is probably far less than that. Markets being markets we’ve unveiled a degree of speed with the Spanish and Italian bond yields and I can’t see us getting through the summer without some serious consequences,” said Jim O’Neill, Chairman at Goldman Sachs Asset Management.

Child Treated After Being Bit By Rabid Bat Woman Gave Go-Ahead To Touch (CBS)
Even as the summer fun rolls on for JoJo Keefe, a freshly healed cut on the 10-year-old’s finger reminds her of a scary detour. “I was like oh my God it bit me!” She’s talking about a rabid bat that sunk its tiny teeth into her finger last Tuesday during a visit to the Spencer Town Beach on Lake Whittemore. The small bat was attracting quite a bit of attention on the shoreline just beyond the picnic area. The trouble really began when a woman picked it up and began asking the children gathered around her if they wanted to hold it. “Another little girl said ‘oh I want to hold it will it bite me?’ And the lady was like no it’s the friendliest thing ever,” she says…Her mother retrieved the sick animal which then tested positive for rabies. Soon after, JoJo was getting the first in a series of life saving antibiotic shots (you can’t wait with rabies).

(hidden for your protection)
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58 Responses to “Opening Bell: 07.25.12”

  1. Hydrophobic says:

    Someone should stop that rabid Batwoman from biting children.

  2. Lowly Assistant says:

    Agreeing with Sandy Weill makes me want to kill myself.

    • Guest says:

      "You don't know cock!"

      – Guy who thinks Weill is looking more and more like the late Rodney Dangerfield

      • Sandy W. says:

        I told the cab driver to take me where I can get some action and he takes me to my house. I tell ya.

  3. Guest says:

    On an unrelated note, ever since Anna Gristina was arrested, attendance by dads at soccer games has dropped dramatically.

  4. Guest says:

    There's nothing wrong with "looking for a little adventure."

    -Ping Capital Procurement Quant

  5. Memories... says:

    New Sandy must really hate Old Sandy. I am surprised he doesn't refer to himself in the 3rd person. Next up: Chuck Prince on the evils of dancing….

  6. Guest says:

    correct me if I'm wrong, wasn't Citi one of the main players that lobbied to repeal Glass Steagall?

  7. euroguest says:

    greece: we are sinking!
    germany: jawohl, what are you sinking about?

  8. the one eyed snake says:

    “Another girl said ‘oh I want to hold it will it bite me?’ And the I was like no it’s the friendliest thing ever,”

  9. ??? says:

    Where's Geezer Oil Trader?

    – guy who needs a good rant in his life right now

    • GeezerOilTrader says:

      You want to know where your Geezer is? Your Geezer is fixing to lose his dumbass Aggie intern to the natural gas idiots for the balance of the summer. So, even though I don't normally offer these young pricks any unsolicited career advice because they think they're so fucking smart to begin with, I've made an exception for my little "Pride of the Mays School of Business". And fuck you, all you Norwegian oil worker assholes!! Shithead labor union fuckstick strikers!! And same to you all you Iranian fuckheads who scare the shit out of the European panty peelers who trade oil. Someone always has to fuck with the oil markets and that makes all my fucking golf outings stressfull!! How the fuck am I expected to enjoy an afternoon on the links and an evening at a tittie bar with all the Norwegio-Iranian dumshittery that is ongoing?? And today Reuters is noting some Vitol "oil trader in heels" is doing a big deal in Libya while the rest of the masculine, foreign fucking oil trading industry is jerking off. Makes me recall that scene where Val Kilmer said in that movie Tomb-rider, "I'll be your dingleberry…" Anyway, the IQ of our oil desk and the natural gas desk are both set to rise now that our Aggie is headed over to them. What the hell is wrong with CEOs in the oil business today?? They listen to fucking headhunters before they listen to thir own staff!!! So, one morning we have to suddenly call a meeting to sit and visit with a dumbass who has an oil job at another firm and listen to his fucking tale of how the fucking Elliot Wave is the only way to trade oil. I can't help it if I doodle images of Oscar Wyatt on a legal pad while that dumbass drones on and fucking on. Meanwhile the CEO is probably trading his own book with a private quant in Tulsa, calling it a "hedge fund", so when he attends a "dumbass convention" with his fellow fuckhead oil company CEOs at Pebble Beach he'll brag about fat tails to sound smart. Goddammit, back in the 1980s when real people traded real fucking oil, the term " fat tail" was what a Coastal States VP took back to the Caravan East Motor Hotel where he'd bang her like a screen door in a hurricane and then offer her a job as a propane secretary!!! Fuckheads. Shitbirds! Dipshits of the first declenstion! Where was I? Oh…the Aggie intern. Well, he's been ordered to natural gas so I gave himm the following "rules" to live by before he has to go back to "Harvard on the Brazos": Don't laugh when a natgas person says "LOC" instead of "L/C". Stay away from gas traders who are engineers as well. Just because it works in the lab doesn't mean it will work when some fuckhead has to close all open natgas positions and fuck with the market for a day or two. If at a party where a lot of beer is in a tub of some sort, don't show off your dumbass new trading lingo by saying out loud, "Man, we are long beer!!" It's as offensive as not playing golf. Never fall for their expense account bullshit where the boss tells you to put the tittie bar bill on your expense account and "he'll approve it." Cockbiters!! That shit pisses me off!! Pay your own fucking tittie bar bills on your own fucking expense account like a real oil man!!! Never think that the size of a gas traders truck is proportionate to his IQ. (It's the inverse.) Read a fucking book from time to time like Fletch's natgas book. For Gods sake, run away as fast as you can if you hear gas traders talking about sleeving deals for others and making "free money". Jesus, I'm getting depressed just thinking of all the shit fixing to head my little Aggie's way. Don't fucking workout at your desk or drink fucking colonic cleansing juices at work!!! Respect yourself!!! Oil traders play gin. Gas traders play with themselves!! Blistered turds!! Never marry a fucking gas marketer!!! I think my little Aggie will do well with the natgas folk. The desk head asked my Aggie about his father. "What does your father do?" Aggie replied sheepishly, "Well he passed away…" Natgas guy recovers and says, "Sorry to hear that…what did your father do before he passed away?" Aggie replies, "Turned blue and shit on the rug…"

  10. the ghost of Citi says:

    Dear Jamie:

    I'm still jealous of you overshadowing me, and luckily someone is giving me a pulpit.

    Forever yours,

  11. 15 CPW Doorman says:

    And then Mr. Weill looked at him and said "Jabroni!" I really miss him.

  12. VonSloneker says:

    Thank you Sandy. Coming up next on CNBC, Jack Welch says "Fuck Light Bulbs"…after the break.

    – Some inferior replacement for Erin Burnett

  13. Tseug says:

    Man, this "sidekick" job certainly has evolved!

    – Robin & Tonto

  14. Richy says:

    "Its not prostitution if you just pay to watch", said the Pizza Hut delivery guy offering free legal advice with any purchase of a large personal pan pizza with 1 topping and a 2 liter of coke.

    ~ Guy whos still angry that the local credit union in 1986 rejected his loan application to open a video rental store.

  15. Ozzy says:

    Don't trust a bat. That's why I bite its head off firts.

  16. guest says:


  17. Im_a_Dude says:

    i know Sandy is getting up there in years, but did he really refer to "market-to-market" or did the "reporter" at CNBC transcribe it wrong?

  18. Edmond_Dantes says:

    Weill to CNBC : Break up the Banks
    World to Weill : Go F— Yourself

  19. guest says:

    We can't stop here, it's bat country!

  20. guest says:

    Et tu, Brute?

  21. pretzel logic trader says:

    “What we should probably do is go and split up investment banking from banking, have banks be deposit takers, have banks make commercial loans and real estate loans, have banks do something that’s not going to risk the taxpayer dollars, that’s not too big to fail,”


  22. PermaGuestII says:

    "'I fully expect that my new boutique advisory firm, ThirdTimeLP, will generate substantial revenue advising these financial institutions on their deconglomeratization strategies,' Mr. Weill continued."

    -guy who seriously doubts that Sandy just had a road-to-Damascus moment with the ghost of Carter Glass

  23. Mark B. says:

    <img src=""/>People on the street is saying that QE3 will come in August? <img src=""/&gt;

  24. Can I’ve the source file so that I’m able to delete the background and remove the material that I don’t need such as the PG logo etc.?
    Also, how do I get the name of your video as well as the caption to display during playback?