Samantha von Sperling is an image consultant in New York, but lately her bread-and-butter Wall Street clients have asked her to help their daughters get ready for rush at schools like Harvard; the University of Wisconsin, Madison; and New York University, which has added three chapters since 2006 and more than doubled the number of sisters, to 570. “It’s the same kind of coaching I do on Wall Street,” Ms. von Sperling says…Ms. von Sperling offers a Friday-to-Sunday intensive, for $8,000. One day is devoted to carrying yourself properly and the art of conversation. Treat rush, she says, as you would a job interview. Avoid politics and religion. “I teach them how to make interesting small talk: what you saw at the cinema, a trip to Europe. I don’t know too many 20-year-olds who are having a debate about economics.” Another day is for getting physically ready — hair, makeup and wardrobe. Ms. von Sperling organizes “outfits down to accessories, completely strategized.” Just in case a client forgets, outfits are photographed and placed in a style file. [NYT]
Comments (71)
- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Shoot me now.
Phew. At least I can die knowing that universities and families will continue to pump out vapid young people that are increasingly more boring than all other previous generations. Forever.
))<>((
Pat Grant : Image consultant :: Micheal Moore : Personal trainer
"I'll take 'Assholes' for $1,000, Bob"
-guy starting to think J.D. Salinger had the right idea re-NY
I'd rather spend a weekend crashing weddings with N'08.
Yes, yes, no
Or…you could just go to a private school, which most WS daughters probably already do. $8000?!!!! Is the bish who trains them some brat he sneaked nto an Ivy by majoring in theology, and sees this as the most lucrative use of her degree?
Ah of course, she studied 'Speech Communications' at NYU ,sounds like some Scientology/NLP bullshit.
I weep for America's future.
- Fat rush reject
They should teach these girls how to appear less dishevelled while sobering up on the Metro-North back to Westport every Sunday morning.
Isn't there some unwritten rule that if you need to hire a consultant to figure out how to get into a social group, you probably don't belong there in the first place?
People need help getting into sororities at NYU? Really?
For an extra $5,00 she will teach them the ultimate secret:
Having morals so loose that all the athletes will come to your sorority's events even though your "Sorority Siters" look like the Omega Mus.
This will ensure you are admired by you ugly future sorority sisters who cant score on their own
If my stupid parents had gotten me a weekend intensive maybe Phoenix would have punched me…and you all might have been spared pokes, friend requests, toxic IPOs etc. Perhaps this is money well spent.
- M. Zuckerberg
Someone call Bravo – we've got their next reality show.
I want to meet the parent that is paying $8k to get "image/fashion" advice from a woman who uses a Vera Bradley bag?
Missy dear you must hear about this darling feature I saw at cinema this past weekend. It reminded my of my time in Nice where I like to summer. Oh these earnings, they are just here to show you that I have enough money to buy your friendship. But you'll have to pardon me I'm about to be late for intro to communications, I'll swing by the business school on the way to see if I can find me a husband. Ciao.
Inquiring Mother: Samantha, what exactly do you teach?
Sam von Sperling: Gangbang 101, Freebase Tutorial, and Oral Sex Workshop.
- B. E. Ellis
You must be dyslexic.
Get drunk, fuck jocks, repeat.
wait just a f'ing second. did a woman who markets herself as an image consultant really use the word "cinema" to describe what any person under the age of 90 would call "the movies"?
great. for 8k you can sound like a 20 year old hybrid of abe simpson and prince hakeem. ("sir, did you happen to catch the professional football contest on television last night?")
You could discuss what you saw at the cinema. Or your father's new motorcar. Or when to take a nap on the davenport vs. the chesterfield.
Know how I know you're gay?
Yes, dress up your daughters to get into that slutty sorority so she looks half way decent when she leaves my apartment tomorrow.
did you really reference grandpa simpson?
i have used the word "cinema" before and am under 90
Am i supposed to feel stupid that i had to look up "sorority rush"?
pardon my ignorance, but i get a different rush when i think of sororities
"Am i supposed to feel stupid that i had to look up "sorority rush"? "
yes.
-everyone under the age of 70
NYU has athletic teams?
You're going to need 7 grand more to still not get that Theta bid.
No.
-Jewish fratstar
As someone who attended one of the aforementioned schools, this is not money well spent.
For Men – Coke. Easiest way into a sorority slut's pants. Coke.
For the womens – Coke. Easiest way into a sorority.
weep or ear?
eat…fuck
UBS Slang Quant says what?
Viewing this "news" from a distant land – can I suggest just shooting – that is what we do to useless farm animals in Australia – better for all concerned.
So, anyone want the inside track at rushing frats at Dartmouth?
Alternatively, you could put them in a paddock with a very randy old bull and let him sort them out – there will be plenty of rushing around then
I hear wearing bonobos greatly increases your chances of getting into a frat.
Laxbro – where are you?
i) How you get into a top-tier sorority: be a legacy, be pretty, be wealthy, have friends in the sorority, have respectable parents
ii) How to get balled from a top-tier sorority: have new money geeds for parents who mollycoddled their terminal loser, dumb (Wisconsin, really?), and no friend having daughter, then paid $8k to some enterprising wack job in a failed attempt at making them socially palatable
These slams will be blacked out their first weekend of welcome week getting a train run on them by 6-8 dudes from their dorm. They'll get a bid from some bottom-tier sorority that needs the legs (i.e. dues) and their parents will think their $8,000 investment worked.
And then, after 4 years of getting cock slung to them by anyone who couldn't find anything better, they'll suffer the ultimate indignity. They'll find themselves at a wedding with N'08.
Collecting $8,000 to tell girls how to pay college girls to accept them (the concise answer is: don't be fat, and act normal) is the NKI.
Flounder?
Negative.
Obvi.
HAHAHAHHAAHAHA, good one, but no, Phoenix wouldn't have you fucking nerd. Funny joke though.
Pepsi must be hating how far ahead their rival is of them in popularity stakes.
I do cocaine, baby!
– Rock and Roll Clown
That's enough out of you
N'08 "offers a Friday-to-Sunday intensive, for $8"
Is Bovice involved in the train running?
The funniest part of this is that Laxbro is implying that he's too smart for the University of Wisconsin.
80
Lessons on dress code and talking subjects?….I think I found a new line of work.
- Sheldon Maschler
I intend to nap in my autogyro on the way to Rhodesia.
-C. Montgomery Burns
Either one sounds good to me, my antipodean friend.
The only requirements for getting into an NYU soriety/frat:
1. Be Asian
or
2. Come from Long Island or northern NJ
1997 NCAA D-III Women's Basketball Champs!
-Seriously-we're-called-The Violets?
E.
Fixed it for you.
Known for our tenacious defense
“Alright you little freshmen b*tches. Air raid! That was pathetic. Let’s try it again. That means get up you lazy little b*tches. Get up. Air raid.”
He wans to meet the parents?
Dazed and Confused? This movie was the biggest let down of my life. No nudity…
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