Who will emerge victorious? We’ll know soon. The challenge: 500 Starbursts in 12 hours. The contender: a financial analyst whose eyes may or may not be bigger than his stomach (41.666 in an hour? Don’t offer me that. 41.666 every hour for 12 hours? That’s a challenge). On the table: $500. The progress so far: he started at 8:30 CDT and has put away 250. The commentary: “He says he’s uncomfortable, but not disgusted. Yet.” The bonus: he’s live-streaming the event.

Live broadcasting by Ustream

Stay tuned.

Update: He did it.

231 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (231)

  1. Posted by brah | August 2, 2012 at 2:34 PM

    You will remain a virgin after this stunt

  2. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    web-streaming yourself having sex for money> web-streaming yourself eating starbursts

  3. Posted by girl guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:37 PM

    He's actually pretty cute. And you use the word 'brah,' so there's that.

  4. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    this guy creeps me out

  5. Posted by NakedShort | August 2, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    I bet his jaw hurts

  6. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    He got up and left his desk just as I got this stream going, what a freaking gip. More likely than not to go barf up a rainbow of flavor.

    "Hi Mom."

  7. Posted by b iteme | August 2, 2012 at 2:44 PM

    Not really much of a challenge. Now if a colleague comes into the office after having rode the subway to work and there is a squished star-burst with at least 3 hairs sticking out of it – well now – that's a challenge.

  8. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:44 PM

    I know the feeling!!

    – J. Travolta

  9. Posted by CDT LOL | August 2, 2012 at 2:46 PM

    CDT? Everyone knows the world runs on EST.

  10. Posted by girl guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    Why don't you step up?

  11. Posted by Knight | August 2, 2012 at 2:49 PM

    No big deal. We have an algo that can eat 1000 starbursts in 20 minutes.

  12. Posted by L.T. | August 2, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    Me too!

  13. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    gg, I'm beginning to suspect that you're personally acquainted, or even romantically involved, with the challenger, yes?

  14. Posted by Indubitably | August 2, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Is that an office or just a really fancy cube?

    He must be top tier and making Jefferies type money

  15. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    If by 1000 starburts you mean $440 million of profit, so we've heard.

  16. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    "after having rode"

    Are you fucking serious with that syntax?

  17. Posted by Champ | August 2, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    Pain is temporary, diabetes is forever.

  18. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    It's horrid, but I can't look away…such a juicy contradiction!

  19. Posted by girl guest | August 2, 2012 at 2:58 PM


  20. Posted by Lowly Assistant | August 2, 2012 at 2:58 PM


    -Everyone Below The Mason-Dixon

  21. Posted by In House Physician | August 2, 2012 at 2:59 PM

    And herpes. For Matt's sake lets hope he's clean.

  22. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    I would be concerned about what my employer might think of me pulling a stunt like this. Back in the day, the traders I worked for fired a clerk of theirs because he was foolish enough to wear a rubber penis attached to his trading jacket as a bet. Webstreaming yourself doing this might be kind of stupid.

    – Social media averse Gen X 'er

  23. Posted by IT_ | August 2, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    Challenge accepted!

    (Wait, how am I going to answer Help Desk calls with a mouth full of cloying plasticky sweetness?)

  24. Posted by FB IPO | August 2, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    Need more cowbell

  25. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Why don't you take that story to floortraders.com?

  26. Posted by Rumson Poler | August 2, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    looks like a LAX player

  27. Posted by RedWhite&Blue | August 2, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    Dealbreaker comment section isnt a kitchen

  28. Posted by El Gigante | August 2, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    I could eat 5000 in 12 hours while nailing 10 chicks

  29. Posted by GoldmanSacks | August 2, 2012 at 3:07 PM

    Enough free time to eat starburst for 12 hours straight? He must work for UBS.

  30. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:14 PM


  31. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    I'm more amazed that he hasn't moved or blinked in 2 minutes.

    –Guy who's not sure this live streaming thing is working

  32. Posted by Zombursts | August 2, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    I bet his brain tastes like the rainbow!

  33. Posted by Brown Starfushburst | August 2, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    What does the rulebook say about putting Starbursts up his backside? Pretty sure he's done that before.

  34. Posted by John | August 2, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    who's that Blond……wud for sure

  35. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. It's only 5.5 total pounds. That annoying Jew on the Travel Channel dominates 7-8 pound burritos in less than an hour. 10,000 calories if and when he finishes, and 3.3 lbs of sugar.

  36. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    Judging by her shitty dress and overall obnoxious personality, I'm going to assume a University of Iowa retard.

  37. Posted by guestie | August 2, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    Then maybe dial back the white princessing a couple notches.

  38. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    When did she turn you down?

  39. Posted by SellingLow | August 2, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    I hope we get to see him get fired live.

  40. Posted by Spanish Cobra | August 2, 2012 at 3:45 PM

    Nice class ring, bro

  41. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    Agreed. Solid 9 / 10.

  42. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:46 PM

    That class ring is baller.

  43. Posted by E. Texas Gas Trader | August 2, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    That's an historic Texas flag image on the back wall. "Come and Take It".

  44. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    Looks like a cube against a wall

  45. Posted by chica bonita | August 2, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    I think he's super cute! AND kissing him after would be a 'burst' of flavor ;), and hopefully not vomit

  46. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    Must be weird to have 500 strangers you watching you while you work.

  47. Posted by investorcluzo | August 2, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    I think you meant Ex-lax

  48. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    Everything is bigger in Texas

  49. Posted by J. R. Ewing | August 2, 2012 at 3:52 PM

    Equities in Dallas!

  50. Posted by Barf the Dog | August 2, 2012 at 3:53 PM

    I've never watched a fully-clothed person throw up on the Internet

  51. Posted by watson | August 2, 2012 at 3:53 PM


  52. Posted by Veggies | August 2, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    I have a guy in my office who would do this, only with Broccli

  53. Posted by Lexus at Treasures | August 2, 2012 at 3:54 PM


  54. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Damn, I need to live stream myself doing more stupid shit.

  55. Posted by kcg | August 2, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    excuse him, he typed that in haste while trying to solve a rogue algo in JC

  56. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    He's been live-streaming for 6 hours, multiple people having come by, etc. Think he's safe at this point.

  57. Posted by Gundlach | August 2, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    I expected a bukkake video…

  58. Posted by 0Bonus | August 2, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    why else would he do it for only $500?

  59. Posted by EX GS | August 2, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    did he give up?

  60. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    I am guessing this guy works in Dallas.

  61. Posted by ShuttheFupDonny | August 2, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    "May I have 10,000 marbles please?"

  62. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Does she/did she really go to Iowa?

  63. Posted by Laxbro | August 2, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    Wasn't me, but imitation is the sincerest form of dick riding.

  64. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    Sorry, realized this kid is in Texas, not Chicago. I now peg her as an A&M girl.

  65. Posted by He Who Notes Things | August 2, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    What's the image resting on the American flag? Is that proper flag etiquette?

  66. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Ewwwww. WHY?

  67. Posted by Grunt | August 2, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    You a tribute to summer analyst everywhere. I salute you

  68. Posted by juniormistmaker | August 2, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Houston. Believe it or not, there's some O&G out there.

  69. Posted by makecopies | August 2, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    E46Fanatics brought me here!

  70. Posted by the bobs | August 2, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

  71. Posted by Yu Darvish | August 2, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    He's a Texas Rangers fan by the looks of the emblem on the back wall there. That's the way baseball go.

  72. Posted by PaidSponser | August 2, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    You are going to have Dia BEETis.

    – wilford brimley

  73. Posted by RedWhite&Blue | August 2, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    Yeah I'm not Laxbro. This is a tag I use to explore new venues from the globally feared white man who votes angle.

  74. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    Financial Analyst #1: I can eat 500 starbursts.

    Financial Analyst #2: Nobody can eat 500 starbursts.

    Trader #1: You just said he could eat anything.

    Financial Analyst #2: Did you ever 500 starburts?

    Financial Analyst #1: Nobody ever eat 500 starbursts

    Trader #2: Hey, Babalugats. We got a bet here.

    Financial Analyst #2: My boy says he can eat 500 starbursts, he can eat 500 starbursts.

    Trader #2: Yeah, but in how long?

    Financial Analyst #1: 12 hours.

    Trader #1: Well, I believe I'll take part of that wager.

  75. Posted by Fatandhappy | August 2, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    The folks there are wearing ties – who still does that?

  76. Posted by asdf | August 2, 2012 at 4:29 PM

    Where is this guy?

  77. Posted by Magic Johnson | August 2, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    Contrary to popular belief, once-debilitating diseases can now be rather easily controlled via medicine and simply lifestyle changes…and money…and virgins…and money…and the Dodgers.

  78. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    Nice fan.

    -The 1970's

  79. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    I just hope I'm watching when he pukes and the fan blows the liquified 'bursts all over the webcam.

  80. Posted by J. Skilling | August 2, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    Isn't that a McKinsey "Valuation" notebook behind him to his right? Nice.

  81. Posted by theShizznitt | August 2, 2012 at 4:37 PM

    This guy is going to walk into Jos. A Bank and make it rain $500.

  82. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    No it's not.

  83. Posted by SellingLow | August 2, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    Go back now please.

  84. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:39 PM

    If he's working in Texas, yes.

  85. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    Desperation right there.

  86. Posted by BSD | August 2, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    In equities, perhaps?

  87. Posted by Steve C. | August 2, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    Is that Jim from The Office?

  88. Posted by BonBon | August 2, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    I'd pay 100 bucks to see a picture of his next shit

  89. Posted by Look Harder | August 2, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    Uh…yes it is. I looked at a lot of cable scambled porn in my day. I know of what I speak.

  90. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    Plain white is so back office.

  91. Posted by Hubble Telescope | August 2, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    A clue to the location of the Starburst consumer was revealed earlier when a note to someone was shown on the screen. The note was written on a certain financial institution's stationery. If you freeze frame the view you will see it.

  92. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    That's, like, six suits?

    UBS Buy-One-Get-Two-Free Promo Quant

  93. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    You're making us look like pussies.


  94. Posted by Missy Franklin | August 2, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    web streaming this guy > web streaming the olympics on NBC.com

  95. Posted by jim cramer | August 2, 2012 at 5:02 PM


  96. Posted by CDT MacArthur, D '03 | August 2, 2012 at 5:04 PM

    Beat 'em.

  97. Posted by theShizznitt | August 2, 2012 at 5:09 PM

    He has ample office supplies and has access to a color laser printer – that rules out UBS as his place of employment.

  98. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 5:21 PM

    This guy clearly doesn't have what it takes – notice the "go army, beat navy". Last time I checked, Army has lost to Navy 11 years in a row. Only an West Point grad would be stupid enough to do this…Army Strong!

  99. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 5:24 PM

    Is he eating all original flavors? or his he mixing it up a bit with some tropical?

  100. Posted by theShizznitt | August 2, 2012 at 5:32 PM

    My gueses: (1) equities in Dallas, and (2) this ends about as badly for him as a mexican snuff film.

  101. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 5:33 PM

    He'll be live streaming that on Monday

  102. Posted by Capt. Queeg | August 2, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    His girlfriend probably attends West Point.

  103. Posted by Guesty | August 2, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    I'm pretty sure his compass on what is and what is not stupid was way off long before he came to the idea of streaming it on the web

  104. Posted by GentlemanTrader | August 2, 2012 at 5:35 PM



  105. Posted by E. Cartman | August 2, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Poor meme attempt. Those figures actually add up. 1/10 points awarded.

  106. Posted by S. Mandel | August 2, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Need a job?

  107. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 5:47 PM

    This would be better if we had audio…

  108. Posted by Chiarb | August 2, 2012 at 5:49 PM


  109. Posted by what | August 2, 2012 at 5:55 PM

    i suspect gg is really the bg in the stream disguised as another bg

    – R. Downey Jr

  110. Posted by Guest | August 2, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    You are pussies.

    -The Marine Corps

  111. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 6:21 PM

    Great movie

  112. Posted by Big Swinging Richard | August 2, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    If I were to do a live stream with >10k views and I insisted on wearing a tie, I would buy a shirt that fitted, i.e made it possible to close the collar. And that´s what grind my gears.

    – Guy who does not have a valuation textbook at hand while pretending to be a professional

  113. Posted by leeminbrahs | August 2, 2012 at 6:35 PM

    I'll pay him $500 dollars if he can take a dump without anal bleeding from eating 500 starburst.

  114. Posted by heybaby | August 2, 2012 at 6:46 PM

    Call me maybe?

  115. Posted by RJT | August 2, 2012 at 7:25 PM

    I think he just threwup which means he loses, right?

  116. Posted by Scott Van Bergh | August 2, 2012 at 7:56 PM

    O'Bro…whats happening at the Platform? Not enough work to go around….

  117. Posted by Dawg | August 2, 2012 at 8:32 PM

    I just tuned in, and all I see is the blonde woman popping up from under the desk…. up, down, up down…. Is that code for eating Starbursts!

    -in your end o quant

  118. Posted by Red McCombs | August 2, 2012 at 8:46 PM


    Dream On
    Rocky Theme
    Don't Stop Believin'
    The Eyes of Texas

  119. Posted by MikeAdamson | August 2, 2012 at 9:28 PM

    Well done say I.

  120. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 9:49 PM


  121. Posted by H. Carey | August 2, 2012 at 10:48 PM

    HAAAYYYY thats my line.

  122. Posted by guest | August 2, 2012 at 10:50 PM

    try harder.

  123. Posted by Starburst | August 2, 2012 at 11:43 PM

    Slash my boss, douchebag

  124. Posted by Johnathan Jaroski | August 3, 2012 at 9:26 AM

    Where is the video!!!?!??!??

  125. Posted by Confused | August 3, 2012 at 9:43 AM


  126. Posted by guest | August 3, 2012 at 9:50 AM

    Um he finished…yesterday.

  127. Posted by guest | August 3, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    It wasn't a video, it was a livestream. Since it's over, it's not streaming anymore….

  128. Posted by Guest | August 3, 2012 at 10:37 AM

    Can we get a picture / clip of this guy… missed this yesterday

  129. Posted by 25th Hour Trader | August 3, 2012 at 8:30 PM

    Back in the day, I wore a rubber penis attached to my trading jacket as a bet. And I won the bet.

  130. Posted by Glenn | August 4, 2012 at 9:43 PM

    I don't think I can do this.

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