News

Greenwich, Connecticut Nobody Threatening To Dethrone Area Hedge Fund Manager As Biggest Middle-Aged Superhero Fan In Town

Exhibit A:

Friday morning at AQR, August 10. Cliff Asness glanced pensively at a candy-colored array of Marvel superhero figurines lined up along his east-facing window. Spiderman. Captain America. The Hulk. Iron Man. Comic book heroes of his boyhood days on Long Island.The Quants, by Scott Patterson, page 100.

“Hedge funds charge far too much in general by claiming to be geniuses,” says Asness, lounging on a sofa in his corner office, surrounded by foot-high plastic models of comic book heroes like Captain America and Spider-Man.  Fortune, December 19, 2011

As a child, Clifford Scott Asness gave no sign of his future as a Wall Street tycoon. He was born in October 1966 in Queens, New York. When he was four, his family moved to the leafy suburban environs of Roslyn Heights on Long Island. In school Asness received good grades, but his interest in Wall Street didn’t extend beyond the dark towers of Gotham in the pages of Batman. Obsessed with little besides girls and comic books, Asness was a listless teenager, without direction and somewhat overweight. At times he showed signs of a violent temper that would erupt years later when he sat at the helm of his own hedge fund.The Quants, by Scott Patterson, page 12.

“His super-villains are intellectual dishonesty and ignorance,” says Jonathan Beinner, a managing director at Goldman Sachs Group Inc. and a former classmate of Asness. “When someone offers an opinion that Cliff feels is incorrect or dishonest, whether it be related to investments, politics or pizza, he feels it is his duty to stand up, even if it’s not in his best interest.” Asness admits to a superhero complex. His favorite Marvel comic book character is Captain America, who gains strength with the help of a secret serum and whose shield can be used as an indestructible weapon. Asness has an image of the shield tattooed on his left arm.Bloomberg Markets Magazine, October 7, 2010

Exhibit B:

The above is a rendering of a Batcave that will soon be built in the home of an unnamed Greenwich homeowner. When it is completed in November, the spread will include “a Batcomputer, Batmobile, Batsuits, 180 degree film screen, sound effects, gargoyles and even a Bat-themed elevator.” It’s bad enough that this guy is infringing on Asness’s territory as resident super hero obsessive/aficionado/scholar-in-residence/neighbor who dresses up and role-plays his character of choice but to also be so cowardly he won’t show his face or reveal his name so that Cliff might confront him? It’d be enough to make anyone snap.

Greenwich Resident Building $2 Million Batcave In Home [CTNews]
Dark Knight superfan spends $2MILLION creating home cinema replica of Bruce Wayne’s cave [DM]

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327 Responses to “Greenwich, Connecticut Nobody Threatening To Dethrone Area Hedge Fund Manager As Biggest Middle-Aged Superhero Fan In Town”

  1. Eddie L. says:

    Ok, dammit – who leaked the pics?

  2. Sean says:

    Holy compensating for a tiny dick syndrome Batman!

  3. guest says:

    I estimate a 0% probability of getting laid in there.

  4. Guest says:

    UBS Prop Desk?

  5. Peter Pan says:

    Grow up already!

  6. Eddie L. says:

    OK, who leaked the pics?

  7. Barry says:

    You didn't build that.

  8. Cliff's Contractor says:

    Uh-oh, you said the media room was for the "fat man"? My bad.

  9. VonSloneker says:

    What a great idea, wish I'd thought of it…

    – The Ghost of Michael Jackson

  10. Asdf says:

    “Obsessed with little besides girls and comic books…”

    Funny, when I went to school those things were kind of an either/or proposition.

  11. Guest says:

    Who leaked the pics?

    — Paul Tudor J.

  12. Clammy Toblerone says:

    Boy, that won't get old in about a month. Great idea!

  13. Asdf says:

    "Obsessed with little besides girls and comic books…"

    Funny, when I was in school, those two things were kind of an either/or type proposition.

  14. guest says:

    Best post ever…

  15. Pietro_F says:

    “His super-villains are intellectual dishonesty and ignorance. Also, hair."

  16. Guest says:

    So we start with a list of all of the fund managers with aspergers.

    And the owner is clearly Dr. Michael Burry.

  17. Tyler Cowen says:

    There is no Great Stagnation: Bat Cave Markets in Everything

  18. Anon says:

    Fourteen flat-screen monitors ranging 27-36" in a home theater, not one of which is showing the movie = NKI

  19. PermaGuestII says:

    Only a buyer if Catwoman is included.

  20. Opposedsix says:

    Let's see $2MM buys:

    1. Bugatti Veyron $1.25M
    2. Porsche 918 spyder $850k
    3. Getting laid

    KAPOOOW! Nice going bat fool

    • RBSCorgiQuant says:

      $1,250,000 + $850,000 = $2,000,000? And a Veyron won't get you laid, it just advertises the fact that you just don't measure up in certain areas.

  21. Guest says:

    Since the person is yet to be named, maybe it actually is Asness…

    -No idea where CA lives

  22. Hit Girl says:

    uh, just another wanna be…

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    Yeah, so lame…

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    You know he's going to forget the cringe-inducing three note code on the piano, right?

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