Do you anticipate that at some point the future, in a moment of anger or otherwise, you’ll get the urge to unbuckle your belt, drop trou, and display your ass in the direction of your superiors? Do you hope to keep your job afterwards? If so, just a forewarning: Bank of America is not the company for you. Send a resumé to Citigroup or KKR or wherever.

According to court documents, Jason Selch’s friend Chris O’Dea was fired after he refused to accept lower compensation. This ticked Selch off. Selch burst into a conference room where executives from Columbia were meeting to give them a piece of his mind. He wound up giving them a piece of something else as well. First Selch asked if he had a non-compete agreement, which on Wall Street is usually a way of threatening to quit and go to work for a competitor. After the executives said he didn’t have a non-compete, Selch mooned them, told one of the New York-based executives never to return to Chicago, and left the meeting.

Extraordinarily, Selch wasn’t fired. Instead he was issued a formal warning. Selch’s boss testified that while 99 percent of employees would have been immediately fired, Selch was one of the one percent who could be granted a one free mooning reprieve. The executive actually fought for Selch to keep his job. When Columbia CEO Brian Banks found out about this incident, he insisted that Selch be fired. The behavior was too “egregious” to allow Selch to continue at Columbia. No free mooning at Bank of America, Banks decided—even if you are in the one percent. The firing meant that Selch lost a multi-million contingent bonus package that would have vested if he had remained at the company a few months more. Because he was fired, Bank of America got the keep the money. Selch sued, arguing that firing him after issuing warning was a breach of contract…Last Wednesday, a three-judge appeals panel upheld the trial court, describing the mooning as “insubordinate, disruptive, unruly and abusive.”

BofA Right to Fire Broker Who Mooned His Boss: Court [NetNet]

77 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (77)

  1. Posted by guest | September 5, 2012 at 3:32 PM

    What's the policy if my boss walks in on me banging an intern and sees her ass straddled on my couch?

  2. Posted by Dr_Rosenrose | September 5, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    If you're going to waste that much money on a bare ass, don't make it your own.
    -Common sense

  3. Posted by zoroz | September 5, 2012 at 3:35 PM

    NBD, happens at our offices/rap studios all the time
    – Phil F.

  4. Posted by Guest_of_Honor | September 5, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    It was worth losing the millions to get to take "Columbia" off your resume a few months early.

  5. Posted by Guest | September 5, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    does it really matter? it is never going to happen.

  6. Posted by Excel Monkey | September 5, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    Mooning? Seriously? No sympathy for this clown.

  7. Posted by Constanza | September 5, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    Was that wrong? I tell you, i gotta plead ignorance on this thing. i've worked in a lot of offices and they do this kind of thing all the time.

  8. Posted by Jeff Macke | September 5, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Duct tape, bend — ta da: fruit basket.

  9. Posted by gust | September 5, 2012 at 4:11 PM

    "unbuckle your belt, drop trou, and display your ass in the direction of your superiors"

    when you work at Patriarch you get to skip steps 1 and 2

  10. Posted by guest | September 5, 2012 at 4:12 PM

    'Bout the same as if he walked in on you banging a unicorn.

  11. Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | September 5, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    Frigin top 1%'ers!

    -OWS guy who cant relate

  12. Posted by The Slacker | September 5, 2012 at 4:30 PM

    at UBS you would be promoted…..

  13. Posted by leeminbrahs | September 5, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    I hate to be a grammar nazi….

    "Because he was fired, Bank of America got the keep the money."

    Should be: "Because he was fired, Bank of America got to keep the money.

    -UBS Grammar Quant

  14. Posted by guest | September 5, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    send complaints to John Carney at NetNet, where the line came from…

  15. Posted by _guest | September 5, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    "According to court documents, Jason Selch’s friend Chris O’Dea was fired after he refused to accept lower compensation. This ticked Selch off. Selch burst into a conference room where executives from Columbia were meeting to give them a piece of his mind [and] Selch mooned them."

    Thanks bro. I owe you one.

    Chris

  16. Posted by CDO-Guy | September 5, 2012 at 5:17 PM

    Brings new meaning to 'Ass-clown' Ha ha ha!

  17. Posted by J Cana | September 5, 2012 at 6:05 PM

    Ask Charlie Ditkoff or Brian Brille, former BAC bankers!

  18. Posted by gotgroupie | September 5, 2012 at 6:34 PM

    …cuing Geezer Oil Trader…

  19. Posted by THEBro | September 5, 2012 at 6:54 PM

    speaking of bros – where is Laxbro?

  20. Posted by Guest | September 5, 2012 at 10:33 PM

    The Brian Banks cited above is actually Keith Banks former CEO of Columbia Management(not the university). Having cleared that up and having worked at BoA, I applaud Mr. Selch for baring his ass and doing what I fantasized about for years as I endured each grueling day at BofAmerrillwide.

  21. Posted by Nick Lachey | September 6, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    Also that couch in your cubical is a fire safety hazard.

  22. Posted by Guest | September 6, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    Maybe he just wanted to ass him a question and thought that would be a cheeky way to do it butt wasn't ready to bare the consequences when the hole thing came undone.

  23. Posted by Dateraider | September 6, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    If we are opening up the whole "What's my fantasy at work discussion" I can confess I always envisioned getting fired by streaking and ringing a cow bell round the whole office.

  24. Posted by Guest | September 6, 2012 at 12:31 PM

    I don't engage in hypothetical situations, that's just lying to your brain.

  25. Posted by devin banks | September 6, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    solid

  26. Posted by Guest | September 6, 2012 at 1:25 PM

    I really don't know what his true motives were, but it's in everyone's best interest to get to the bottom of this. Left unchecked, this story will cause him to be the butt of jokes for many moons to come.

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