• 28 Sep 2012 at 12:41 PM

Jeffrey Gundlach’s Babies Come Home

Just a week after putting out an AMBER alert that several of his beloved pieces of art had gone missing during a heist on his home and a mere four days after an emotional press conference pleading with the public to help him find them, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach’s most prized possessions, after his Sexy Slave KitTM, have been recovered.

Police recovered the nearly $10-million collection of contemporary art — which included works by Piet Mondrian, Jasper Johns and Richard Diebenkorn — that was stolen this month from Gundlach’s Santa Monica home. He had offered a near-record $1.7-million reward for the collection’s safe return…The big break in the case came Wednesday when Pasadena police officers received a tip that the stolen art was held at an automobile stereo shop, Santa Monica police said in a news release. Officers raided the Al & Ed’s Autosound store on South Rosemead Boulevard, recovered all but one of the stolen paintings and arrested the store’s manager — Jay Jeffrey Nieto, 45, of Canyon Country — on suspicion of possessing stolen property. A second suspect, Wilmer Cadiz, 40, was arrested at his home in Rosemead, also on suspicion of possessing stolen property. The final painting was recovered at a residence in Glendale. The person who was in possession of that painting has not been arrested and is cooperating with investigators, police said.

Gundlach did not know who, if anybody, would get the reward. He had offered $1 million for the return of a Mondrian painting called “Composition (A) En Rouge Et Blanc.” The offer is said to be the highest-ever reward for a single painting. That was the painting Gundlach said the thieves had been trying to unload. One lesson Gundlach learned from the burglary was to beef up protection for his collection: “I will continue to take good care of it,” he said. “There have been many upgrades to security, and armed guards are now on the property.”

Let this be a lesson to you all: you can fuck The Godfather, you can fuck in his presence, you can fuck on a DVD that he will purchase and keep in his office, but you cannot fuck with him. And to any filmmakers out there that are thinking this would make for a great story but are stumped on a name, consider Happy Endings, Jasper In Her Johns, Big Tips, or The Bondage Nookie Court 2. Finally, the answer is yes– he will take a small role if you ask.

Art Stolen From Jeffrey Gundlach Recovered; 2 Arrested [LA Times]

26 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (26)

  1. Posted by Guest | September 28, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    Call us once you finish your prison term.

    UBS REPO Desk.

  2. Posted by güest | September 28, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    You guys didn't understand I meant those rewards in a *literal* sense, did you…?

    – Jeff

  3. Posted by Guest | September 28, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    I guess it isn't as easy to fence million dollar paintings as it is stolen car stereos.

  4. Posted by Bizzle Gross | September 28, 2012 at 1:01 PM

    Sure it is. I once bought a sick Blaupunkt and a Monet at Al & Ed's.

  5. Posted by Guest | September 28, 2012 at 1:03 PM

    As a OWS liberal, I find this wall street fat cat’s actions disgusting and bigoted, the burglars were just trying to enrich his life through diversity by sharing some their rich cultural heritage and spreading the wealth.

    Obama & Host from Reading Rainbow 2012!

  6. Posted by guest | September 28, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    Swing and a motherfucking miss.

  7. Posted by guest | September 28, 2012 at 1:06 PM

    -1 for thinking you're way funnier than you are
    -10 for thinking this is your regular fox news forum
    -1000 for taking a story about jeffrey gundlach, filled with opportunities for porn-based jokes, and tainting it with your political crap

  8. Posted by Guesticles | September 28, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    Furiously wondering: What about his copy of Ass Traffic Volume 2: The Director’s Cut?

  9. Posted by Im_a_Dude | September 28, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    bring out the gimp

  10. Posted by gfgf | September 28, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    Release the hounds Smithers

    -JG

  11. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | September 28, 2012 at 1:23 PM

    I'm gonna give you a choice. You can either have the reward and the hammer or you can walk out of here. You can't have both.

  12. Posted by NakedShort | September 28, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    I want you to exit this guy off the premises, I want you to exit him off his feet and I want you to use his head to open the fucking door.

  13. Posted by guest | September 28, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    Upon reflection, Jeff wasn't too concerned that his art might never come home. Not even a nipple bit.

  14. Posted by pazzo83 | September 28, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    You should never post again, but you don't have to take my word for it!

  15. Posted by Chappy | September 28, 2012 at 1:35 PM

    I wonder if his new security guards will carry around fleshlights.

  16. Posted by Guest | September 28, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    [youtube gXVsBfWzJjM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gXVsBfWzJjM youtube]

  17. Posted by Guest | September 28, 2012 at 1:40 PM

    "One lesson Gundlach learned from the burglary was to beef up protection "

    Being located in SoCal, and having extracurricular activities that include close contact, you'd have thought he knew this ages ago.

  18. Posted by ZaZul | September 28, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    <chuckle> you said taint…

  19. Posted by GM-Laid-Me-Off | September 28, 2012 at 2:17 PM

    Thanks Jeff for bringing attention to Swallow My Pride 2. That whole series not just Vol. 2 helped save my marriage.

  20. Posted by Lex Steele | September 28, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    No $$ will be paid – Gundlach pulled a Thomas Crown Affair (inadvertently watched the movie thinking it was porn)

  21. Posted by is that allowed? | September 28, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    Al & Ed's & Wollensky?

  22. Posted by Son of man | September 28, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    You do see a solid amount of rene russo dumpouts

  23. Posted by Guest | September 28, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    Armed guards? One arm or two?

    – Houston PD

  24. Posted by Bill Doyle | September 28, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    So I would say you know, overall less than a distinguished effort but the good news is that there is nothing but up side for you for the next go round.

  25. Posted by Guestest | September 28, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    Gundlach appreciates all tips related to this…big reward promised.

  26. Posted by anized | September 28, 2012 at 11:44 PM

    E ana ive e ofehahev, a usoh bahatohan epijumoqo, uv!!!