“I couldn’t even read the whole application,” he said to guffaws from several hundred young Jewish professionals gathered sipping on spirits and kosher wine at event space Chelsea Pearl to hear his advice on how to make it in finance. “I did review part of the application, about 40 pages [out of 500], and the information we provided doesn’t make any sesne to me. How could it possibly make sense to the SEC? It’s a complete waste of time,” he added. “They don’t know what they’re looking for, the just asked for everything in every possible way…I don’t believe the Dodd-Frank law is a positive piece of legislation,” he said dryly, understating his distaste. “I ordered the bill; there are 2,000 pages. I couldn’t read the table of contents. I don’t know anyone who has read it. I think it has retarded the recovery…it’s complete gobbledygook.” [AR]

Comments (62)

  1. Posted by Im_a_Dude | September 21, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    Bess, where did you learn to speak yiddish?

  2. Posted by guest | September 21, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    Thank god that everyone who backed the bill didn't share Paulson's attitude and read all 2,000 pages… twice.

  3. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 2:29 PM

    Bess,

    It sounds like that event would have been a great opportunity for you to find a new bf ?

    Matt could have been your wingman.

  4. Posted by guest | September 21, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    Creepy commenter is creepy.

  5. Posted by Alt_EST | September 21, 2012 at 2:38 PM

    Well I think your investment strategy has retarded your return profile.

    Regards,

    Dodd-Frank Act

  6. Posted by Mighty Taco | September 21, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    Legend goes that you can taste Dodd on Barney's frank!

  7. Posted by guest | September 21, 2012 at 2:42 PM

    Front and back!

  8. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 2:45 PM

    Using the word retarded and getting away with it is the NKI.

  9. Posted by guest1 | September 21, 2012 at 2:47 PM

    Only 2000 pages? Pu$$y.

    Regards,

    Tax code

  10. Posted by ih8edjfkjr | September 21, 2012 at 2:53 PM

    There was a back?

    -Nervous DPW Associate?

  11. Posted by Sean | September 21, 2012 at 2:54 PM
  12. Posted by Sean | September 21, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    [youtube fFx3SZO6F2M http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFx3SZO6F2M youtube]

  13. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Your assets imply intelligence, but your spray tan implies gobbledybullshit yourself good sir.

    D/F

  14. Posted by ross | September 21, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'you are.' Y-O-U-R means 'your!'

  15. Posted by Paulson's Assets | September 21, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    How can we imply anything when so many of us our gone?

  16. Posted by S. Berlusconie | September 21, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    "…asked for everything in every possible way."

    American legislation = my bunga bunga parties!

    S. Berlusconi for Congressman

  17. Posted by pazzo83 | September 21, 2012 at 3:09 PM

    Not even getting through a bill's Table of Contents and then declaring the entire thing "gobbledygook" is the NKI.

  18. Posted by pazzo83 | September 21, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    Wait, we actually have to read these things?

    - Every US Congressman

  19. Posted by Herman I<3DB Cain | September 21, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    Well, that and getting your picture on Opening Bell.

  20. Posted by Contrarian | September 21, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    Given Paulson's distaste for it, is there any way to go long Dodd-Frank?

  21. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 3:30 PM

    Nice pic!

  22. Posted by HAM05 | September 21, 2012 at 3:32 PM

    working on bundling up some 'tards now – care for the equity tranche?

  23. Posted by Lowly Assistant | September 21, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    Go long Iron Mountain and Plum Creek Timber.

  24. Posted by Hooplah Capital Mgmt | September 21, 2012 at 3:34 PM

    Our new fund has the option to hold excess cash in gobbledygook. Our strategy is to go long flimflam while shorting rigmarole in proportion to our conviction about macro mumbo jumbo.

  25. Posted by Lowly Assistant | September 21, 2012 at 3:39 PM

    Mmm. 2016.

    [cums]

    -Hillary Clinton

  26. Posted by PermaGuestII | September 21, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    Wait, we actually have to be able to read?

    -Every US Congressman

    *fixed it for you

  27. Posted by Guy with A.D.D. | September 21, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    Pages 1283 – 1548 are just pages with variosu dried spittle-stain spots from Braney Frank's lower lip.
    Is obvious nobody has read the whole thing, nobody has mentioned this yet.

  28. Posted by Well Defined FoF | September 21, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    What's does the fund's mandate say about trading widgets? Are you effectively hedged in case there's a brouhaha in the markets?

  29. Posted by Risk Manager | September 21, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    Why do they call it ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round…. they should call it roundtine.

  30. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    FYI the board is also equally unrelenting in its down click punishment for non-creative/overall poor quality comments

    You've been warned.

  31. Posted by pazzo83 | September 21, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Well played.

  32. Posted by observer | September 21, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    not as a verb

  33. Posted by Coglioni | September 21, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    Plum Creek Timber is over bought. I'd go with Sino-Forest.

  34. Posted by Pete | September 21, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    Great a bunch of new Madoffs in the making…hide your money

  35. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    The ultimate word in this category is "niggardly"

  36. Posted by guest | September 21, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    Hitler says what?

  37. Posted by observer | September 21, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    I think he is just swarthy my man.

  38. Posted by Hitler | September 21, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    what?

  39. Posted by Eeet | September 21, 2012 at 4:37 PM

    Hey! No like last part!

    - Viet Cong Venture Capitalist.

  40. Posted by Lowly Assistant | September 21, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    Listen – I've been making awful, idiotic, nonsensical comments on this very message board since 2007. You think that a few or even very many upside down thumbs-up will deter me? No! No, they will not. I was born to write stupid shit and, goddamnit, I will continue to do so. Semper fi! Carpe diem! Latine est mortuus!

  41. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    Well, that explains things..the Sino-Forest Prosup was 1000 pages long and didn't list the synthetic phantom trees in the TOC!

  42. Posted by Pluppy | September 21, 2012 at 5:22 PM

    For some reason I read "down click" as "dick clown". Just thought I'd share that.

  43. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 5:25 PM

    Disclosure for ye but not for me!

    -G Sorros

  44. Posted by Guest | September 21, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    Stop whining like a broad you homo.

    -B. Frank

  45. Posted by Guest! | September 21, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    Matt Levine>Dodd-Frank

  46. Posted by I did too | September 21, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    We are the silent majority.

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    We've got ACME, Inc on speed dial.

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    Your comments are great. Dont change, baby. Dont change

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