4:00-4:05 Either people who have never taken part in a conference call are participating today and pressing buttons on their phone every five seconds or someone is thrusting someone else up against their office phone over and over and over again.
4:06 Gundlach is offering $1 million for information leading to the return of each stolen piece of the Mondrian and $500,000 for the Jasper Johns and Joseph Cornell pieces. $200,00 for information in general still stands.
4:07 Buttons are still being pressed, now sirens in the background. Shouts of “what the fuck is going on here” are heard.
4:08 Talking Heads’ “This Must Be The Place” is now playing (over the sirens).
4:10 Someone is still tapping their pound key and while no one officially ends the call, Gundlach/whoever is running this seem to have lost interest and leave without saying good-bye.

Update: Doubleline has released images of all the pieces Gundlach is willing to pay money for, “no questions asked,” if you’re looking to solve some crime (there is also an anonymous tips line, 1-800-78-CRIME, and website, www.wetip.com).

Gundlach Rewards [PDF]

66 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (66)

  1. Posted by Just a Guess | September 24, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    4:07 sirens in background.
    Analysis: Crime solved.

  2. Posted by Jergens | September 24, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    I hear a squishing sound. Anybody hear that squishing sound?

  3. Posted by Guest | September 24, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    Reward for returning Big Jeff's stuff > Reward for capturing all ten of the FBI's most wanted*, because it's all about priorities people.

    *http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten

  4. Posted by VonSloneker | September 24, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    Mondrian is a hack, beautiful Johns piece though. Sadly, they're both probably on a slow boat to Russia to hang in the powder room of some oligarch's dungeon.

    – Guy who loves art, but probably wouldn't have an "Amber Alert" style press conference if his was stolen

  5. Posted by LAPD | September 24, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    Gundlach's got a place in Russia?

  6. Posted by Guest | September 24, 2012 at 4:29 PM

    Take the ball gag out of your mouth before you start a press conference, not after!

    -The Barnacle

  7. Posted by Sanduskys thumb | September 24, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    Russia being code for Ricky Martins tight little HEY YO!

  8. Posted by Im_a_Dude | September 24, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    what happened to the live-blogging/ conf call? this was to be the highlight of my day.

  9. Posted by Turnip Truck | September 24, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    And you may say to yourself, my God, what have I done?

  10. Posted by helpful guest | September 24, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    See those words under the headline? Try reading them.

  11. Posted by Strong Sell | September 24, 2012 at 4:55 PM

    Extra 100k for safe return of the chrome dildo.

    -J. Gundlach

  12. Posted by ZaZul | September 24, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    I think there is a typo in the website address given, shouldn't it be http://www.WetTip.com

    Other than that, I have no concerns

  13. Posted by underpants gnomes | September 24, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    step 1- steal a bunch of art from a narcissistic rich guy
    step 2- wait for him to offer no-questions-asked rewards for it
    step 3- profit

    finally, we know step 2.

  14. Posted by agreatdaytothink | September 24, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    The inclusion of the translation in the art descriptions made me check my motives….then I decided Jeff should check his….then I decided it was LA so…….

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  17. Posted by J. Travolta | September 24, 2012 at 5:31 PM

    Sorry, I'm not returning it.

  18. Posted by J. Travolta | September 24, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    My favorite description: "The Dessert Ramparts", a painting of mountains in New Mexico. Apparently, those are yummy mountains, or there is a typo.

  19. Posted by Guest | September 24, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    The typo is in the translation too so either someone was just furiously Google Translating with no concerns or the artist would be a candidate for getting a few "Worst post since…" comments if he joined he commentariat

  20. Posted by SoHampton | September 25, 2012 at 12:51 AM

    Are those Spanish translations implying a certain something? If those implications prove to be true, you can bet those paintings are in Mexico by now, and they'll never be returned.

  21. Posted by Gnome friend of mine | September 25, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    hey now! What about keeping our business model under wraps like you promised you would, next time you're signing the confidentiality agreement!

  22. Posted by Crime Stopper | September 25, 2012 at 10:47 AM

    Jeff should call Dog the Bounty Hunter. I hear he's looking for work. He should also hire someone to find those stolen paintings.

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  24. Posted by BigBird | September 25, 2012 at 5:30 PM

    Just to see how it feels.

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