Opening Bell: 09.27.12

Spain Gears Up For Day Of Cuts After Riots (Reuters)
Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy will enact further cutbacks as his efforts to bring down one of the euro zone’s largest public deficits have been undermined by falling tax revenues in a recession. “We know what we have to do, and since we know it, we’re doing it,” Rajoy said in a speech in New York on Wednesday. “We also know this entails a lot of sacrifices distributed … evenly throughout the Spanish society,” Rajoy said in an address to the Americas Society. Thousands of anti-austerity demonstrators demanding that Rajoy resign gathered for a second night on Wednesday in Madrid near the national parliament, which was guarded by hundreds of police.

Ex-Credit Suisse Banker Arrested In UK (WSJ)
U.K. authorities arrested Kareem Serageldin, former global head of the Swiss bank’s Structured Credit Trading business. He was taken into custody Wednesday by the Metropolitan Police in London outside the U.S. Embassy. Mr. Serageldin, 39 years old, was among three people charged criminally in the U.S. in a high-profile case in February. Mr. Serageldin, a U.K. resident, didn’t formally answer the charges. His lawyer said then he did nothing wrong. Mr. Serageldin represents the highest-level Wall Street executive to be charged in a case relating to the 2008 financial meltdown.

No Plans For Twitter IPO Or Sale (AP)
FYI: Twitter is not readying a stock public offering, nor is it seeking to be sold to another group, CEO Dick Costolo said yesterday. In an interview on CNBC, Costolo brushed aside any suggestion of an imminent initial public offering or sale. The question of an IPO is “a decision we’ll make when we think the time is right for us,” he said.

M&A Slumps to Lowest Level Since Financial Crisis’s Nadir (Bloomberg)
“Executives have the cash, but they don’t have the conviction,” said Andrew Bednar, head of advisory at Perella Weinberg Partners LP, the New York-based investment bank. “I don’t see any miraculous change in the M&A markets for the foreseeable future.” This quarter’s slowdown has been most pronounced in Europe, where takeovers accounted for about $92 billion, or 21 percent, of global activity, the continent’s lowest share since 2010. The Americas accounted for $248 billion of transactions, and there were $104.5 billion in the Asia-Pacific region.

Shark Attacks Spark Kill Orders To Protect Aussi Beaches (BW)
The government of Western Australia said it plans to track, catch and if necessary kill sharks threatening beachgoers after a record five fatal attacks in the state in the past year. Officials will be allowed to destroy sharks “posing an imminent threat,” Fisheries Minister Norman Moore said in an e- mailed statement today as he announced a A$6.85 million ($7.1 million) protection, research and education program. Previously the state only issued kill orders following a shark attack. Tourism operators in Western Australia are attempting to lure domestic and international visitors to the state’s 12,000- kilometer-long (7,500-mile) coastline, which is studded with pristine beaches. The most recent attack saw a 24-year-old surfer taken by a five-meter great white shark on July 14 off an isolated beach about 160 kilometers north of the state capital Perth.

Hedge Fund Managers Face Lower Pay In Wake Of Weak Returns (NYP)
As of the end of the second quarter, only 43 percent of hedge funds had cleared the performance hurdle known as high-water marks over the past 12 months, according to data from fund tracker Hedge Fund Research. For many, those that fail to hit their marks by the end of the year will forgo their usual fee of 20 percent of profits until clients have recovered from losses.

SEC Looks For The ‘Kill Switches’ (WSJ)
The Securities and Exchange Commission has in recent days requested details from major broker-dealers about the internal controls of their automated trading systems, which direct the buying and selling of shares on exchanges and electronic-trading venue, according to people with knowledge of the review. The agency also wants to know about any recent malfunctions and how they were handled as well as how firms can override their computers and shut them off.

Jobless Claims Fall More In US To Two Month Low (Bloomberg)
Applications for jobless benefits decreased 26,000 to 359,000 in the week ended Sept. 22, the lowest since July, Labor Department figures showed today. Economists forecast 375,000 claims, according to the median estimate in a Bloomberg survey. There was nothing unusual in last week’s data, a Labor Department spokesman said as the figures were released to the press.

Ed Sullivan window-smasher back in court for punching straphanger (NYP)
Two months after pleading guilty to a late night, drunken, window-smashing rampage at the Ed Sullivan Theater, James Whittemore was back in Manhattan Criminal Court today for allegedly socking a fellow straphanger in the nose on a Harlem A-train platform. “I lost it,” the diminutive 23-year-old admitted to The Post of throwing the first punch at an apparently deranged homeless man who’d gotten “in my face.” “It’s the Irish in me.” The would-be NYC actor had won his 15-minutes of fame — and a mention on David Letterman’s Top 10 list — two summers ago, after he was found passed out drunk on the broken-glass-covered and urine-soaked carpeting of the lobby of the theater, home to the “Late Show.”

66 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (66)

  1. Posted by sharks | September 27, 2012 at 9:09 AM

    fine, as long as they don't impose regulation on us..

  2. Posted by Kareem | September 27, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    Knew I should have tried my luck at the Ecuadorian Embassy :(

  3. Posted by krautmick | September 27, 2012 at 9:19 AM

    You Look like you have a little Irish in you.

    No?

    Would you like some?

  4. Posted by CoveredLong | September 27, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    Doesn't seem fair does it – I mean, if a shark came into the lobby of 200 west dressed like a pension fund wanting to buy a CDO, could you blame GS for what would happen next? No, yet here we are today on the hunt for sharks and squid.

    It's a sick world we live in these days (Slim for Pete's sakes put down Christopher Reeve's legs).

  5. Posted by Plankton Plaintiff | September 27, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    Actually, yes, yes we would.

    -Lead plaintiff's attorney, krill consumers union retirement plan vs. Lehman Brothers Holdings, JP Morgan, et al.

  6. Posted by Coke Shark S&T MD | September 27, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    Yea, it really takes the fun out of coming to work everyday I'll tell ya.

  7. Posted by Deleveraging | September 27, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    "……..For many, those that fail to hit their marks by the end of the year will forgo their usual fee of 20 percent of profits until clients have recovered from losses."

    We'll just start a new fund.

  8. Posted by UBS ObviousJokeQuant | September 27, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    [red card]

  9. Posted by JW Meriweather | September 27, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    Really had to go and plaster that all over the internet huh buddy?

  10. Posted by Deleveraging | September 27, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    "……Shark Attacks spark kill orders to protect Aussie Beaches"

    Bess: I really think in an effort to maintain the journalistic integrity of DealBreaker you should have included a video of that surfer.

  11. Posted by Footprint | September 27, 2012 at 9:41 AM

    Just got the email.,,,,my apartment building is now carbon neutral. Total hard-on.

  12. Posted by Niederhofer | September 27, 2012 at 9:48 AM

    Hey ?? DUH

    Pot Kettle

  13. Posted by Shark | September 27, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    So humans can kill pigs and cows but we cannot… Have you been to Australia recently?

  14. Posted by london whale | September 27, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    the sharks made me do it!

  15. Posted by pazzo83 | September 27, 2012 at 9:57 AM

    Rajoy: “We know what we have to do, and since we know it, we’re doing it"

    Subtitle: "Germany, please give us more money. Thanks."

  16. Posted by Phoenix | September 27, 2012 at 10:00 AM

    I have been married for 10 years. Early in our marriage my husband talked about wanting to try swinging. We did, and had many enjoyable experiences. Two years ago he decided he no longer wanted to be in the lifestyle, so we stopped. The problem is, I miss it very much. I want to get back into it and have talked with him about it, but he insists we stay out of it. I am torn between going to parties behind his back, suffering my displeasure in silence because I'm not able to do something I really enjoyed, or divorcing. Can you help me figure this out?

  17. Posted by Deleveraging | September 27, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    Divorce him. Your in a community property state, you are guaranteed half. Which is way better than half the sex your not getting now!

  18. Posted by Mexi_Cant | September 27, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    Looks like Paulson might finally have a strong return on Hartford Financial's insurance arm sale to Prudential…

    -Bored Jew who was out of work yesterday

  19. Posted by Derp | September 27, 2012 at 10:11 AM

    Shut. Up.

  20. Posted by Novum Arbitration | September 27, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties

    Sorry, but it's sandpaper on my eyes.

  21. Posted by George Carlin | September 27, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Well, consider this: If you compare a comedy club event to a swingers' gangbang you'll discover that no one wants to go on last at the gangbang.

  22. Posted by pazzo83 | September 27, 2012 at 10:14 AM

    Kill yourself?

    - Dear Abby

  23. Posted by güest | September 27, 2012 at 10:17 AM

    Please sit down.

  24. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:18 AM

    A mexican jew? You hit the genealogy jackpot.

  25. Posted by Mitt Romney | September 27, 2012 at 10:20 AM

    Hey!

  26. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:22 AM

    Is it my imagination, or is that shark smiling?

  27. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    He knows something you don't know.

  28. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    He did your wife while you were at the morning meeting.

  29. Posted by guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    He's happy because he was craving free range underwater photographer for dinner.

  30. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:42 AM

    So you think he said, "hey lets go for a swim" then with a toothy grin just stuck it in?

  31. Posted by Joe | September 27, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    I have no idea what you should do but whatever happens, it's gonna make a helluva reality show.

  32. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    So you're a bored unappreciative do-nothing Xanax popping housewife who reads 50 Shades of Grey in her free time? Get a life, ho.

  33. Posted by Lease Program | September 27, 2012 at 11:00 AM

    Do not adopt! Just lease them, around 11 they start to steal.

  34. Posted by guest | September 27, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    How long did you work on this for, LaxBro? If possible your comments attempting to pass off as a chick are worse than your frat boy persona.

  35. Posted by guesticles | September 27, 2012 at 11:18 AM

    "you're a bored unappreciative do-nothing Xanax popping housewife"

    um, pretty sure no, the answer is c) a wildly unfunny DB commenter who for some reason thinks he's hilarious, who typically comments under the name N'08 or LaxBro, leaving equally painfully unfunny comments that he thinks are fooling everyone. This one smacks of being worked on all weekend.

  36. Posted by guest | September 27, 2012 at 11:20 AM

    True love is hard to find, sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend…

  37. Posted by the hoff | September 27, 2012 at 11:22 AM

    thats how i used to do it..

  38. Posted by ray dalio | September 27, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    be the shark, attack the surfer

  39. Posted by agreatdaytothink | September 27, 2012 at 11:46 AM

    Oh Aussies….how unimaginative you guys are. Grab a shark, wrap some tape around its mouth, throw it in a swimming pool full of children and charge a couple hundred bucks for it.

  40. Posted by Steve Irwin | September 27, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    We don't need the tape. It's completely safe.

  41. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 12:02 PM

    Once again, all you guys care about is the latest support results. How sad.

    –That lady from a couple of days ago

  42. Posted by Jim Cramer | September 27, 2012 at 12:09 PM

    ALL I GOTTA SAY IS… BOO YA SKEE DADDDDDYYYYYYY

  43. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Any day I flip open Dealbreaker to a picture of a grinning shark I know is gonna be a good day

  44. Posted by HungryIntern | September 27, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Cool, I wish I could pay rent that is 20% above market and up another 10% y-o-y so my apartment building could be carbon neutral.

  45. Posted by Yes, anticipation | September 27, 2012 at 12:18 PM
  46. Posted by Lex Steele | September 27, 2012 at 12:21 PM

    Hey – that's Bruce from Finding Nemo!

  47. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 12:38 PM

    Where's my sammich?

  48. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    Forget the shark, the dingo still has my bonus damn it!

    - Macquarie Equities MD

  49. Posted by No One | September 27, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    That's his best "Fish are Friends, Not Food" smile for the poster, right before he eats a butter-oozing tourist.

  50. Posted by Disappointed Dingo | September 27, 2012 at 12:42 PM

    It wasn't very filling, to say the least.

  51. Posted by Yup | September 27, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Remember, fish are friends – Not Food!

    -Nice Shark

  52. Posted by PermaGuestII | September 27, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    Fuck that. We *like* Wilbur- it's Falcone we want to see turned into fish food.

    -every Harbinger investor

  53. Posted by Gozer | September 27, 2012 at 12:47 PM

    SPANIARD! SPANIARD! SPANIARD!

  54. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 12:51 PM

    How about when your friend compass is pointing up?

  55. Posted by D. Kneale | September 27, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    The human equivalent of the labradoodle?

  56. Posted by Duddy | September 27, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    Spaniards is also acceptable

  57. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 1:33 PM

    Shark Week won't be the same with replacement sharks !

    - Retired sharks that now work at the Discovery Channel

  58. Posted by not a shark | September 27, 2012 at 1:45 PM

    Candy gram….

  59. Posted by Guest | September 27, 2012 at 1:48 PM

    That's nice too

  60. Posted by Mongo | September 27, 2012 at 2:07 PM

    Mongo like candy.

  61. Posted by Evil David Letterman | September 27, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    That's what I say when the Pizza Hut delivery guy is a Puerto Rican with limited english skills

  62. Posted by jason walter | September 27, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    <img src="http://storeshopnow.com/mm/imada/otot.jpg"/&gt; Spain will be the starting point of next wave of euro crisis.<img src="http://storeshopnow.com/mm/imada/toto2.jpg"/&gt;

  63. Posted by alternatives | September 28, 2012 at 6:42 AM

    Not sure if this is going to work but…
    Did you mean to say:
    a) Fuck that. We like Wilbur – it's Falcone we want to see turned into fish food.
    b) Fuck that we like Wilbur – it's Falcone we want to see turned into fish food.
    c) Fuck that we like Wilbur – it's Falcone Meathead we want turned into fish food.

  64. Posted by icon design | October 4, 2012 at 9:12 PM
  65. Posted by dress as a celebrity for halloween | October 6, 2012 at 2:19 AM

    Great Article! I have been searching for this tonight and would like to get an email or perhaps the updates with this article. Keep in contact!

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