Crispin Odey is the founder of Odey Asset Management, a sausage brand ambassador, and a guy who unwittingly made fellow hedge fund manager Philip Falcone’s life* a living hell when he pulled this stunt:

…Odey has upped the ante for poultry accommodation – he’s building a temple for his chickens for which the stone alone costs £130,000. The Palladian-style chicken house, designed by Christopher Smallwood Architects, has won planning approval from the Forest of Dean District Council, and will sit on the hillside above Eastbach Court, Odey’s Grade II-listed home. The temple’s roof – adorned with an Anthemia statuette – will be fashioned in grey zinc; the pediments, cornice, architrave and frieze are in English oak; and the columns, pilasters and rusticated stone plinth are being hewn from finest grey Forest of Dean sandstone. Naturally, the doors will be painted in the Odey Asset Management founder’s favourite Hague Blue – “to match the doors around Eastbach Court”, according to the plans…“The temple will be a lovely place when it is finished at the end of the year,” Odey said from a grouse moor. “The chickens will be grand.”

Nice for the chickens, but obviously this gesture makes Phil look like a deadbeat by comparison, as he merely allows his pet pig Wilbur to live in his apartment and has never even suggested getting her her own place. So thank you, Crispin, for rocking the already shaky home front. You can bet someone will be printing a copy of the article and placing it prominently on top of someone‘s morning paper, and god help that someone if he doesn’t get on the horn about building her the god damn Taj Mahal, ASAP.

(For those who can appreciate the news without worrying about what it’s going to cost them, here’s a blueprint of the chicken mansion, courtesy of FT Alphaville):

Crispin Odey’s chickens come home to (a luxury) roost [Telegraph via FT Alphaville]

*And the lives of all deep-pocketed animal owners thinking a bedroom and half-bath are gonna cut it.

49 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (49)

  1. Posted by Guest | September 25, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    mmmmm…mmmmmm.. This chicken is very Crispin !!!

  2. Posted by Guest | September 25, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    i'm no lefty, but this truly is ridiculous. Certainly the £500,000+ this chicken coop is going to cost could go a long way to help a worthy cause. I don't begrudge the guy his wealth, but choosing a Palladian-style chicken house over just about anything else boggles the mind.

  3. Posted by Richard Scarry | September 25, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    It was a busy day in Busytown.

    Freddy Fox and Reddy Redtail watched intently as the Chicken Family's new mansion was being built.
    "Why does the Chicken Family get a new mansion when I have to live in a hole in the ground?" grumbled Freddy
    "Indeed, and I have to live in a nest of sticks in the old oak tree," agreed Reddy.

  4. Posted by Bronx Tilapia | September 25, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    Jealous

  5. Posted by Mr. Obvious | September 25, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    That's a nice cluckin' house!

  6. Posted by Barbaro | September 25, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    Chicken Malcontenta

  7. Posted by chic-fil-a PR | September 25, 2012 at 4:05 PM

    Our firm does not condone this type of overtly flamboyant accommodation for chickens.

  8. Posted by Guest | September 25, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Hey!!!

    – Chicken coop construction workers getting paid to build this.

  9. Posted by Guest | September 25, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    Nor gay marriage

  10. Posted by Lowly Assistant | September 25, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    £130,000 is a poultry sum and, personally, I think that it's a clucking shame that this guy…this down-trodden gizzard-throated pullet of a man…thinks that he's the cock of the walk just because he turned some starter feed into a clutch of golden eggs. I say send him to the broiler or place him in a coop far, far away from any chicks, with "Rooster" by Alice In Chains on repeat.

  11. Posted by KFCrispin | September 25, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Although poorly designed, the statue of the Colonel on the left of the entrance is a nice touch.

    – D Novak

  12. Posted by güest | September 25, 2012 at 4:19 PM

    Nice gas-pump-in-the-sky, bro

  13. Posted by ih8edjfkjr | September 25, 2012 at 4:20 PM

    Zinc roof? It will be a broiler in the summer.

  14. Posted by The Bard of plinth | September 25, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Methinks two bodacious cornices and a delicatly cut and festooned architrave will cause all relevent pilasters to rise becomingly in the style of English oak. The freize and rusticated stone plinth are purely an S&M bonus.

    To hew or not to hew

  15. Posted by CoveredLong | September 25, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    "I told them that the form of a building must follow its function."

    -Henry Cameron

  16. Posted by Guest | September 25, 2012 at 4:24 PM

    I do this shit Odey long

  17. Posted by pazzo83 | September 25, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    I can't believe I have to draw this fucking chicken here.

    – Architect who drafted the blueprints

  18. Posted by guest | September 25, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    Agreed.

    – Rooster Cogburn

  19. Posted by güest | September 25, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    A housefowl of chickens is a poultry issue compared to other more eggspensive tastes

  20. Posted by Silkie Orpington | September 25, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    "This reporter found Mr. Orpey carrying and moving various birds into their expensive new digs. When I asked Mr. Orpey, whose hands were filled with chickens, if he could produce the fantastic plans clutched under his arm, he replied, "Sure thing. Now if you'll just hold my cock and pullet here….."

  21. Posted by Nucka | September 25, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    I can see some Hannibal Lecter shit going down inside this gesture of hospitality towards the chickens

  22. Posted by Fightin' Texas Aggie | September 25, 2012 at 4:51 PM

    A rooster is known as a "cock". A hen or layer is known as a "pullet".

  23. Posted by lucas | September 25, 2012 at 4:52 PM

    Context matters. The rest of the property is listed as a historical monument, is quite large, and is built in the same style. An Ikea shed would not have cut it.

  24. Posted by Chicken farmer | September 25, 2012 at 4:53 PM

    Your approach is a little hard-boiled; we shouldn't let this bad egg ruin it for the rest of us chicken-coop aficionados.

  25. Posted by Meat Stick | September 25, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Was he afraid the Big Bad Wolf might try his luck with chickens?

  26. Posted by Guest | September 25, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    Well I say! I say! Thats a might fine house!

    – Foghorn Leghorn

  27. Posted by im_new_here | September 25, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    And obviously he'd be pretty fucking stupid not to raise his own chickens.

  28. Posted by lucas | September 25, 2012 at 5:27 PM

    We all have hobbies.

  29. Posted by Jay | September 25, 2012 at 5:43 PM

    I think there is a sunny side to this. I can explain it, but it's not going to go over easy.

  30. Posted by Odey | September 25, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    Is that shia labeouf on the left?! Get away from my chickens!

  31. Posted by Colonel Sherman | September 25, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    he's probably just trying to get laid

  32. Posted by F9_Calculate | September 25, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    £500,000+ in the hands of any government* < £500,000+ received (before tax) by the the laborers and suppliers of this absurd project

    *500K is a figure gross of waste; net of retardedness, it's more like a few bucks

  33. Posted by Guestest | September 25, 2012 at 6:53 PM

    It's one cool coop

  34. Posted by StairMaster | September 25, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    Anyone else wondering how those chickens are going to climb up and down those stairs…

  35. Posted by InfiniteGuest | September 25, 2012 at 8:06 PM

    It's an eggregious fowl to stuff more than 3 puns into a single comment.

  36. Posted by pun quant | September 25, 2012 at 9:50 PM

    That joke was positively fowl

  37. Posted by J. Gundlach | September 25, 2012 at 11:00 PM

    Word.

  38. Posted by I'm Ron Burgundy? | September 26, 2012 at 12:22 AM

    You keep fuckin that chicken.

    – my favorite news anchor ever

  39. Posted by SwissHedge | September 26, 2012 at 3:52 AM

    This time next year its gonna be covered in bird poop…..

  40. Posted by NYAC Bartender | September 26, 2012 at 9:33 AM

    The Talented Mr. Ripley 2 (2014 proj) IMDB: When Crispin Odey becomes eerily fascinated with Phil Falcone and Brian Moynihan, Crispin begins to emulate the hedge fund magnate and bank executive by buying black rimmed glasses and styling his hair like Conan O'Brien. The plot takes an unexpected turn when Odey whacks Jeff Gundlach in the face with a rowing oar.

  41. Posted by jake | September 26, 2012 at 10:52 AM

    Nobody's made a Smallwood joke? This place is for the birds.

  42. Posted by F Costanza | September 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM

    That's perverse!

  43. Posted by Dick4aTick | September 26, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    Beth: You have to look at La Presse
    http://www.lapresse.ca/actualites/regional/montre
    Use Google translate if you cannot read French. Ex-head of MUHC (Montreal super hospital project) skips the country.

  44. Posted by Anon. | September 26, 2012 at 12:43 PM

    Polish-built chicken coop, to be sure.

    -There's-a-punchline-in-here-somewhere

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  47. Posted by Gustavo Kuca | October 3, 2012 at 2:39 AM

    I am with you Fred. I could not figure it out either.br /I even now hope you experienced gotten the nomination again when.I’d have worked my butt off to have you within the White House. It guaranteed would have looked superior on you. Now, I just hope our dude wins.

  48. Posted by jake | October 10, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    He's clearly a trendsetter:
    http://money.cnn.com/gallery/pf/2012/10/09/neiman

  49. Posted by Darwin Tim | November 26, 2012 at 9:02 PM

    Oh jeez! I can barely afford a fence material for my poultry farm and now I need to give a shelter to chickens more lavish than my own home? Get outta here!