What To Do (Or Not Do) Upon Waking Up In A Car “Driving Through A House,” Part II

Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and consider being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your car through a stranger’s house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you’re going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone’s front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police, say you were the one driving, and have them breathalyze you with 370 ounces of alcohol (and some cocaine) in your body. Not even if you’re in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after “[waking] up as…the car drove through the house.”

The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer.

“We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and “told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson “was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him “it’s a little too late for that.’’

Alternatively, if you are the one trying to cut a deal for someone else to take the blame, think about actually making good on that vacation, lest the x-ray tech go all CSI on your fall guy/girl’s injuries.

LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman’s home [NYP via DI]
Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office

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92 Responses to “What To Do (Or Not Do) Upon Waking Up In A Car “Driving Through A House,” Part II”

  1. Demographic says:

    I must say, J-Wowww is doing great 'rogue promo' for the next season of Jersey Shore.

  2. guest says:

    Lax Bro?

  3. Dan Sajewski says:

    I set the bitch up.

  4. PermaGuestII says:

    $1.7mm in Lloyd Harbor != a mansion.

  5. Guest says:

    That look says "I'd do it all over again, but turn left the next time."

  6. Guest says:

    Lloyd Christmas > Lloyd Harbor

  7. Hooray Beer says:

    Maybe an 'easy now' beverage run should have been in order

    -Red Stripe Mgmt.

  8. Lindsay says:

    That's a cute age

  9. Gozer says:

    Was the party at Chris Brown's house?

  10. guest says:

    Jack Daniels, Heineken and Coke? Guess it beats moonshine, PBR and meth, but still…

  11. AIG Quant via LEH says:

    I asked for a cute babe not a bimbo that just bounced off the inside surfaces of a car.

    • AIG Quant via LEH says:

      Whitney? WTF? Might as well post a pic of her. 2 out of 3 can't be that wrong.

      Oh, and Matt, don't you dare post a picture of a fucking cow!

  12. Im_a_Dude says:

    where was he supposed to take her on vacation? I'm sure it was someplace lovely.

  13. Robert Rubin says:

    They'll never know what really happened that night, fuckin' suckers.

  14. Guest says:

    UPDATE: instead of three cross eyed GS execs and the pervey Bonobos guy…I have a beaten women, two cross eyed GS execs…and the pervery Bonobos guy

  15. Guest says:

    I'm pretty sure I just got allocated 10 hours worth of work because of the Bonobos guy…I think I speak for everyone when I say he is making it impossible to discreetly kill time surfing this site before your boss leaves

  16. Alt_EST says:

    It doesn't hurt here so much….or here….but right about here.

  17. Rick James says:

    Sleeping on a beer run? She needs to get some real cocaine.

  18. Nick Lachey says:

    Her expression tells me she's hiding something

    UBS that's a penis not a clitoris Quant

  19. In context says:

    I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather; not like the passengers in his car that were all screaming in terror.

  20. Guest says:

    Sweet cheeses, she looks like average sales assistant use to look @ FICC BSC.

  21. guest says:

    A face only a fist could love.

  22. Lucille says:

    That's got to be GOB. Let's give him a scare.

  23. Harvey says:

    With a right eye like that she'll always have a home here at GS

  24. Opposedsix says:

    Mercedes convertible model year? If it was an older 380 or 560sl, their soft splashy handling and brakes coupled with an supersized steering wheel did not help with that last panic induced turn to avoid a house.

    • Facting says:

      The car in question is a 1996–2003 Merc CLK, pre-crash value ~$4k*. Average home price in Lloyd Harbor NY is ~$1.45mil**, $1.7mil only about 20% above mean.***

  25. Long Duck Dong says:

    No more yanky my wanky! The donga need food!!

  26. Sino Returns says:

    Heineken?!? Doesn't anyone like good tasting beer?

  27. Momentous says:

    I see nothing wrong here, other than the fact she's fugly..

  28. Don't drink and drive. You might kill someone.

  29. Casual Observer says:

    Love that the collar is still popped.

  30. Allan says:

    Driving Drunk. CLASSIC!

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