Back in May, we had a frank discussion about drinking with colleagues and/or clients after work. Specifically, how many drinks one should put away in order to have a good time but not cross any unfortunate lines. At the time, we used a young lady named Sophia Anderson as our guide and said that, assuming you have the tolerance of a 21 year-old female and consider being arrested post-Happy Hour for driving your car through a stranger’s house one of those lines, no more than a dozen beverages should be consumed, with fourteen being the absolute max. Today we have just a quick update, to those for whom it bears mentioning, that if you’re going to ignore said guidelines and have that fifteenth cocktail shortly before accepting a ride home from an equally sloshed coworker who confuses someone’s front lawn/foyer/kitchen/backyard patio with the road, you should probably not agree to lie to the police, say you were the one driving, and have them breathalyze you with 370 ounces of alcohol (and some cocaine) in your body. Not even if you’re in love with him or her; not even if he or she promises to take take you on vacation after all of this blows over; not even if you were passed out the whole ride and a bit disoriented after “[waking] up as…the car drove through the house.”
The sneaky punk who conned his drunk and coked-up girlfriend into taking the DWI rap for crashing through, and trashing, a Long Island home in his mom’s Mercedes convertible, was finally charged today with the May 28 crash and ordered held without bail. Suffolk DA Tom Spota said Dan Sajewski, 23, tricked Sophia Anderson, 21, into telling cops that she was behind the wheel when he crashed through the Huntington home of a 96-year-old woman – taking a 30-foot tree with him from the front to the back yard. Spota said the incredible demolition derby was the end result of a night of boozing and cocaine snorting at the $1.7 million mansion of Sajewski’s parents in exclusive Lloyd Harbor – when Sajewski and Anderson took a high speed joyride for more beer.
“We know what really happened that day,’’ said Spota at a press conference after the court session. He said the couple, along with three pals, were doing shots of Jack Daniels and snorting coke at Sajewski’s doctor dad’s home until 4 a.m. The crash occurred during a trip for more Heineken beer, while Sajewski was driving, said Spota. He said Anderson was passed out in the passenger seat and “told us she wakes up as the incident is occurring and they were driving through the house.’’ Spota said Anderson “was in love with him’’ and agreed to take the rap, after he promised to pay her bail and legal bills – and take her on a vacation. He broke his word and she revealed it was all a lie. The DA said that when an x-ray technician at the hospital told her she could not have been the driver because of her injuries, Anderson told him “it’s a little too late for that.’’
Alternatively, if you are the one trying to cut a deal for someone else to take the blame, think about actually making good on that vacation, lest the x-ray tech go all CSI on your fall guy/girl’s injuries.
LI punk held without bail for May 28 crash that destroyed elderly woman’s home [NYP via DI]
Earlier: Area Drunk Offers Handy How To Guide Re: Not Being Labeled “That Guy (Who Uses The Front Door Of A House As A Garage Door)” At The Office
I must say, J-Wowww is doing great 'rogue promo' for the next season of Jersey Shore.
Lax Bro?
I set the bitch up.
$1.7mm in Lloyd Harbor != a mansion.
That look says "I'd do it all over again, but turn left the next time."
Lloyd Christmas > Lloyd Harbor
Maybe an 'easy now' beverage run should have been in order
-Red Stripe Mgmt.
Blasphemy. Lax Bro would never roll with a woman wearing her collar half-popped.
That's a cute age
Was the party at Chris Brown's house?
A beer delivery service might be a good business in that neck of the woods.
Halloween > Christmas
- UBS Holiday Analyst
Jack Daniels, Heineken and Coke? Guess it beats moonshine, PBR and meth, but still…
As long as there is no expectation of a rush delivery – we're kinda laid back over here
- Jr. Market Demographics Quant
I asked for a cute babe not a bimbo that just bounced off the inside surfaces of a car.
Whitney? WTF? Might as well post a pic of her. 2 out of 3 can't be that wrong.
Oh, and Matt, don't you dare post a picture of a fucking cow!
where was he supposed to take her on vacation? I'm sure it was someplace lovely.
They'll never know what really happened that night, fuckin' suckers.
UPDATE: instead of three cross eyed GS execs and the pervey Bonobos guy…I have a beaten women, two cross eyed GS execs…and the pervery Bonobos guy
I'm pretty sure I just got allocated 10 hours worth of work because of the Bonobos guy…I think I speak for everyone when I say he is making it impossible to discreetly kill time surfing this site before your boss leaves
Fourth of July > Halloween
When the DB homepage is loading, and it's just me and him, I get a tingly feeling all over. Then the words pop up and it's back to reality.
It doesn't hurt here so much….or here….but right about here.
If you've got time to surf the "Carlton Banks Fanpage," you've got time to build decks all night!!
- The Boss Man
According to the people in charge of the ads that appear on this site (i.e. not Matt or me, otherwise the homepage would not look like it does today), the Bonobos guy will only be here until Friday morning.
uhh uhh hmmm
sajewski was pushing it
-lloyd Harbor
Good. By now I want to kick him in the nuts (motive examination: I do have black friends)
Sleeping on a beer run? She needs to get some real cocaine.
Her expression tells me she's hiding something
UBS that's a penis not a clitoris Quant
I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather; not like the passengers in his car that were all screaming in terror.
I think we are more wondering what age group says nuts ?
Serves her right.
Sweet cheeses, she looks like average sales assistant use to look @ FICC BSC.
A face only a fist could love.
dont get fuckin von slon started
Hey !
That's got to be GOB. Let's give him a scare.
you gettin outa the racquet ?
With a right eye like that she'll always have a home here at GS
Lloyd Blankfein > Lloyd Harbor
Mercedes convertible model year? If it was an older 380 or 560sl, their soft splashy handling and brakes coupled with an supersized steering wheel did not help with that last panic induced turn to avoid a house.
No more yanky my wanky! The donga need food!!
Thanksgiving > Fourth of July
Heineken?!? Doesn't anyone like good tasting beer?
I see nothing wrong here, other than the fact she's fugly..
Don't drink and drive. You might kill someone.
Hey ! yourself !
- Pervey Bonobos Guy
Or a glove box.
Those around 114
- McAuliffe
Lloyd Braun > Lloyd Blankfein
Steven Wright called and asked if he could have his joke back
it's middle of the pack, not bad ?
You ready for the fun part?
-St. Anky's of Vermont
The car in question is a 1996–2003 Merc CLK, pre-crash value ~$4k*. Average home price in Lloyd Harbor NY is ~$1.45mil**, $1.7mil only about 20% above mean.
Edmunds.com*
Zillow.com**
Love that the collar is still popped.
I was just trying to do my job
-Natural Selection
Must know this detail to be able to properly gauge the offer. Could be totally legit.
Bess,
are you telling us you didn't come up the jingle "A fit you can bank on"???
Don't drink and work for Morgan Stanley… You might kill a cab driver.
Driving Drunk. CLASSIC!
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