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Caption Contest Monday: Goldman Sachs Will Protect This House

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87 Responses to “Caption Contest Monday: Goldman Sachs Will Protect This House”

  1. Ta Da! says:

    QuickCrete + sand + water. Turning a temporary problem into a permanent one.

  2. E. Cartman says:

    Muppets! To the barricades!

    – V. Hugo

  3. Analyst says:

    How will our Seamless orders get through?

  4. Sonny says:

    "Wall Street awash in liquidity"

  5. Guest says:

    Goldman Sacks?

  6. HungryIntern says:

    Let my people go…

  7. Dr_Rosenrose says:

    Interview round #53 – not a drop of water in the lobby.

  8. Guest says:

    Bracing for the re-election.

  9. Guest says:

    How will that stop the water coming from the sky?

  10. Goods says:

    those bags of sand are filled with cash

  11. Guest says:

    A new strategy for analyst retention.

  12. Guest says:

    Now how to tranche this up and sell it off to clients

  13. Guest says:

    If you think that's impressive, you should see that sandbagging that goes on inside

    – GS Facilities Manager

  14. Anon says:

    A most convenient way to utilize OWS cremains…..

  15. Merge U Muppet says:

    Stormin' through the party like my name was El Niño, when I'm hangin' out drinkin' in the back of an El Camino

  16. B2b MD says:

    Wish we'd done this for our Whitehall funds.

  17. Backdoor_Bess says:

    Where are the clients sandbags?

  18. Backdoor_Bess says:

    GS, we do more sandbagging in one day than AAPL does all quarter

  19. gfgf says:

    Sandbagging MotherF***ers

  20. Guest says:

    Goldman Sachs “Sand-Bagging since 1869”

  21. Old Muppet guy says:

    Feed for the muppets will be delivered daily, rain or shine or hurricane!

  22. Guest says:

    Interns shake-shack lunch delivery quandary.

  23. guestosaurus says:

    those bags are just to keep vikram pandit out – he keeps running in, trying to apply for a job, while screaming "corbat i'll show you!!!"

  24. Guest says:

    Greg Smith hate-mail.

  25. Hammurabi says:

    Fight Sandy with ….sand!

  26. Guest says:

    They didn’t built that.

    -O

  27. Guest says:

    I knew those copies of Greg Smith's book would come in handy.

  28. PermaGuestII says:

    GS squid exclusion program, phase I.

  29. Guest says:

    Well, I guess this is another way to retain top talent.

  30. _guest says:

    GS Manger: Hey, guy…yeah you in the gold jacket.

    GS Facilities guy: Yes sir?

    GS Manager: I'm going to need you to start over. You stacked them the wrong way.

    GS Facilities guy: I did?

    GS Manager: You did. I need you to stack them in a two by two log cabin style, not this unorganized, haphazard shit.

    GS guy: Okay sir.

    GS Manager: Thanks…Call me Lloyd.

  31. Lloyd B says:

    Delivery timing was fortuitous on Goldman's first 100,000 copies of Why I Left Goldman Sachs: A Wall Street Story.

  32. Karsten says:

    UBS sucks

  33. MS says:

    Goldman was accused of sandbagging in advance of their latest quarterly earnings report seemingly with some justification.

  34. Liz M says:

    Goldman Sachs Now Allegedly Cornering Global Sand Futures Market

  35. Lloyd Blankman says:

    Air drying works just fine ?

  36. Jeremy Grey says:

    You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!

  37. Guest says:

    Doing God's work, one bag at a time

  38. @undefined says:

    #1: Bro, check out my new iSanBag

    #2: Sigma-X: one giant dark pool of liquidity

  39. NY Post says:

    Dick Fuld was spotted in Manhattan Monday.

  40. ReaganLaw says:

    Let's see you second years try and move to the buy-side now.

  41. ...... says:

    those aren't bags of concrete or sand…it's full of those useless bills people call "ones"

  42. Ba dum bum says:

    Its not just mortgages that are under water

  43. truedat says:

    Remind me again why we build our headquarters on something called Marginal Street?

  44. Guest says:

    If the situation warrants I'll turn back the waters with a grundle block.

    -GC

  45. Max says:

    So this is the second Wall Street bailout, cash being delivered in bags and left at the front door….

  46. Carter says:

    Using bags of money might cause our VAR to increase.

  47. Splintered says:

    Those clients we left holding the bag came in handy again.

  48. sri says:

    are those bags of money ?

  49. theShizznitt says:

    UBS IB headquarters similarly protected by the bodies of thousands of RIF'd bankers and traders.

  50. 393ng38 says:

    "Fuck what I told you before; this is all you really need to know about the job. Now keep those stacks eight high, Harvey."

  51. Enrique says:

    Volunteers flock to Goldman to place bags of principles on their doorstep in hopes of fighting evil.

  52. Goldman Sacky says:

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little intern? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in business administration, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Federal Reserve, and I have over 300 confirmed bail-outs. I am trained in class warfare and I’m the top hedge fund manager in the entire US workforce. You are nothing to me but just another small business owner. I will buy you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking stock quotes. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Goldman Sachs managers across the USA and your shares are being traced right now so you better prepare for the buy-off, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your stock portfolio. You’re fucking bankrupt, intern. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can buy you out in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hedge fund. Not only am I extensively trained in economic warfare, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Federal Reserve and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the stock market, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” stock option was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking share. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the buying price, you goddamn idiot. I will liquidate fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking bankrupt, small business owner.

  53. UpYoursSP500 says:

    Lloyd: IPO SDBG at $1000.

    GS 1st Year: How did you calculate that valuation?

    Lloyd: I didn't.

    • UpYoursSP500 says:

      UPDATE: Lloyd: I didn't….now get your mother on the phone and sell her some stock, those sandbags don't pay for themselves!

  54. TwoUnderPar says:

    The water's getting too deep…. even for vampire squids!

  55. Guest says:

    1. Storm
    2. Sand Bags
    3. ???
    4. Profit

  56. Collateralized Paper says:

    When Lloyd said, "Get Moneybags on it!" he meant: use the Bernanke put, not put the Gold in Sacks out front. (Moral of the story: Never confuse excess liquidity with monetary velocity.)

  57. Guest says:

    "TARP delivery!"

  58. gUEST says:

    Using bags full of clients' cash instead of sand, a Goldman intern misinterprets the term "fortress balance sheet".

  59. cdr says:

    All the quickrete bags came from MS.

  60. James S. Cramer says:

    HEY GUYS IT'S YOUR BOI JIMMY HERE AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS FUCK THIS HURRICANE SKEEEEEE DADYYYYYYYYYY

  61. jdsf says:

    Goldman's Sacks

  62. NakedShorts says:

    The GS Compliance Division at work

  63. Guest says:

    "Dollar dollar bill, y'all!" -GS

  64. apalom says:

    Unconfirmed reports claim that Sandy Weill is behind this super storm in another attempt to break up big banks.