[Stephen Foley via Felix Salmon]
200 West, Goldman Sachs, Hurricane Sandy, rain, sandbags, this is it don't get scared now, water
QuickCrete + sand + water. Turning a temporary problem into a permanent one.
Muppets! To the barricades!
– V. Hugo
How will our Seamless orders get through?
"Wall Street awash in liquidity"
Let my people go…
Interview round #53 – not a drop of water in the lobby.
Bracing for the re-election.
How will that stop the water coming from the sky?
those bags of sand are filled with cash
A new strategy for analyst retention.
Now how to tranche this up and sell it off to clients
If you think that's impressive, you should see that sandbagging that goes on inside
– GS Facilities Manager
A most convenient way to utilize OWS cremains…..
Stormin' through the party like my name was El Niño, when I'm hangin' out drinkin' in the back of an El Camino
Wish we'd done this for our Whitehall funds.
Where are the clients sandbags?
GS, we do more sandbagging in one day than AAPL does all quarter
Goldman Sachs “Sand-Bagging since 1869”
Feed for the muppets will be delivered daily, rain or shine or hurricane!
Interns shake-shack lunch delivery quandary.
those bags are just to keep vikram pandit out – he keeps running in, trying to apply for a job, while screaming "corbat i'll show you!!!"
Greg Smith hate-mail.
Fight Sandy with ….sand!
They didn’t built that.
I knew those copies of Greg Smith's book would come in handy.
GS squid exclusion program, phase I.
Well, I guess this is another way to retain top talent.
GS Manger: Hey, guy…yeah you in the gold jacket.
GS Facilities guy: Yes sir?
GS Manager: I'm going to need you to start over. You stacked them the wrong way.
GS Facilities guy: I did?
GS Manager: You did. I need you to stack them in a two by two log cabin style, not this unorganized, haphazard shit.
GS guy: Okay sir.
GS Manager: Thanks…Call me Lloyd.
Delivery timing was fortuitous on Goldman's first 100,000 copies of Why I Left Goldman Sachs: A Wall Street Story.
Goldman was accused of sandbagging in advance of their latest quarterly earnings report seemingly with some justification.
Goldman Sachs Now Allegedly Cornering Global Sand Futures Market
Air drying works just fine ?
You sandbaggin' son of a bitch!
Doing God's work, one bag at a time
#1: Bro, check out my new iSanBag
#2: Sigma-X: one giant dark pool of liquidity
Dick Fuld was spotted in Manhattan Monday.
Let's see you second years try and move to the buy-side now.
those aren't bags of concrete or sand…it's full of those useless bills people call "ones"
Its not just mortgages that are under water
Remind me again why we build our headquarters on something called Marginal Street?
If the situation warrants I'll turn back the waters with a grundle block.
So this is the second Wall Street bailout, cash being delivered in bags and left at the front door….
Using bags of money might cause our VAR to increase.
Those clients we left holding the bag came in handy again.
are those bags of money ?
UBS IB headquarters similarly protected by the bodies of thousands of RIF'd bankers and traders.
"Fuck what I told you before; this is all you really need to know about the job. Now keep those stacks eight high, Harvey."
Volunteers flock to Goldman to place bags of principles on their doorstep in hopes of fighting evil.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little intern? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in business administration, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Federal Reserve, and I have over 300 confirmed bail-outs. I am trained in class warfare and I’m the top hedge fund manager in the entire US workforce. You are nothing to me but just another small business owner. I will buy you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking stock quotes. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Goldman Sachs managers across the USA and your shares are being traced right now so you better prepare for the buy-off, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your stock portfolio. You’re fucking bankrupt, intern. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can buy you out in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hedge fund. Not only am I extensively trained in economic warfare, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Federal Reserve and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the stock market, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” stock option was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking share. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the buying price, you goddamn idiot. I will liquidate fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking bankrupt, small business owner.
Lloyd: IPO SDBG at $1000.
GS 1st Year: How did you calculate that valuation?
Lloyd: I didn't.
The water's getting too deep…. even for vampire squids!
2. Sand Bags
When Lloyd said, "Get Moneybags on it!" he meant: use the Bernanke put, not put the Gold in Sacks out front. (Moral of the story: Never confuse excess liquidity with monetary velocity.)
Using bags full of clients' cash instead of sand, a Goldman intern misinterprets the term "fortress balance sheet".
All the quickrete bags came from MS.
HEY GUYS IT'S YOUR BOI JIMMY HERE AND ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS FUCK THIS HURRICANE SKEEEEEE DADYYYYYYYYYY
The GS Compliance Division at work
"Dollar dollar bill, y'all!" -GS
Unconfirmed reports claim that Sandy Weill is behind this super storm in another attempt to break up big banks.
Bonus Watch ’16: Credit Suisse CEOs
Like many a Credit Suisse employee, Thiam will see his bonus chopped (though in his case the slashing is voluntary).