“I landed in New York at JFK International close to midnight on the day the op-ed was published. My picture had been all over the place, and I wasn’t sure if people would recognize me, so– perhaps stupidly– I wore a makeshift disguise: a dark brown straw fedora and an unshaven beard. I headed straight for Phil’s place on Seventy-Ninth Street and Third Avenue. Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress for me to sleep on, and said I should come straight over when I landed.” –Why I Left Goldman Sachs, Afterward
Greg Smith Is Willing To Concede It’s Possible Wearing A Disguise, Hiding Out At A Friend’s House Post-Op-Ed Like He Was OJ Simpson In The Days Following Double Homicide Was Unnecessary
By Bess LevinComments (48)
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You know what they say: You can’t choose your family, but you can choose your financial planner. Or something like that. One of the great things of being in charge of your money is choosing who (if anyone) will help you manage it. The choice isn’t always an easy one. How will you know that your planner is reputable and trustworthy?
These five red flags may be good indications of whether the financial planner sitting across from you is someone you should trust with your money. LearnVest Planning also provides an innovative 7-step program for your money where you work one-on-one with a financial planner. To see if this program is right for you, start with a free financial consultation.
1. She Isn’t Certified
“There are a lot of good planners out there who aren’t Certified Financial Panners™,” says Samantha Vient, CFP®, of LearnVest Planning Services. “However, CFPs® are required to adhere to the CFP® Board’s standards of professional conduct.We believe it’s always a good idea to work with someone who has the CFP® designation, which is issued after completing a CFP® Board-approved personal financial planning curriculum, passing a rigorous exam issued by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, meeting experience requirements and passing an ethics and background check.
2. He Offers to Manage Your Money for “Free”
Financial planners are usually paid in one of two ways: Either through fee-only, which can be a set fee, hourly, retainer or a percentage of the assets they manage for you, or through commission, which means the planner is paid each time he buys or sells an investment.Fee-only payment structures can be more desirable to some clients, as there’s no financial incentive based on assets under management for a planner to buy or sell, whereas working on commission encourages planners to make trades, rather than solely look out for your best interest—called a “fiduciary” duty. (You want to be sure that the planner you choose is a fiduciary.)
LearnVest Planning Services provides the services of fee-only Certified Financial Planners™. Get started for free with a 15-minute financial consultation.
3. She Says She Outperforms the Market
“If a financial planner tells you that she can outperform the market, that’s a major red flag,” Vient explains. “In fact, due to government regulations, it’s illegal to advertise statements that promise a specific return.”Outperforming the market—that is, getting better investment returns than the market average—is extremely difficult to do consistently, and requires taking a lot of risks with your investments. It’s rare to find a financial planner who can consistently outperform the market—and results are never guaranteed. Either way, in the pursuit of these high returns, she’ll be exposing your investments to much higher risk than you may be comfortable with.
Instead, look for a CFP® who, when looking at your portfolio, can advise on proper asset allocation based on your risk tolerance and time horizon, as well as through economic ups and downs.
4. She Doesn’t Ask About Your Financial Goals
“Your planner isn’t just there to crunch the numbers,” Vient advises. “She’s helping you make a plan for your money and your life. You should be looking for someone who has similar values to you.”Ideally, you’ll likely want to work with someone who is in a similar life stage. Are you a parent? A planner with children may be better able to understand your need to save for college. Does your CFP® have a specialty? Some planners have an area of expertise, like insurance, estate planning, divorce or retirement—a fact you might want to consider if that’s a particular need of yours.
When meeting a potential planner, remember that you’re allowed to ask questions about their experience and priorities: “Do you think it’s more important to save for retirement or pay off debt? How do you feel about supporting kids through college? How do you mitigate investment risk as your clients get older?”
The choices you make with your money are intensely personal. The person who helps you make these choices should be able to understand and accept your financial priorities, and help you use your money to meet them.
5. His Management Style Makes You Uncomfortable
Financial planners can manage your money for you or manage your money with you. As different people have different needs when it comes to money management, there is no right way to work with a planner—it’s up to you to decide how hands-on you want him to be.
When you sign on with a financial planner, there will be a written agreement of how the two of you will manage your money. Read this carefully, and ask questions if you’re unsure about anything. Are you signing your accounts over to this planner? Will he check in with you before making a trade, or when rebalancing your accounts? If you’re uncomfortable with anything in the agreement, bring it up immediately.Learn more about LearnVest Planning and our financial planners by visiting learnvest.com. To book your free consultation today, email FA_Support@learnvest.com or complete your request online.
LearnVest Planning Services is a registered investment adviser. The opinions expressed in this article are that of LearnVest Planning Services, a registered investment adviser. The advice provided may not be suitable for your individual situation and you should discuss your situation with a financial professional.
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Guess the shaved head and googley-eyed glasses wouldn't help. I have nothing to add.
"Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress for me to sleep on…"
Phil sounds like he's a handy guy to have in a time of crisis.
The only people acknowleging Greg Smith were people wondering if Sam Cassell had acquired the Michael Jackson skin disease.
Straw fedora and unshaven beard? Wrong borough Greg.
"Shortly thereafter, despite the disguise, I was ejected from Luke's Bar & Grill, downstairs, by the manager, who said I looked like 'a fucking hipster creep' and was scaring away customers."
New leader in the clubhouse for most delusional, blowhardy anecdote this idiot has told.
"Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress"
They've taken to the mattresses. This means war!
No, no, no! No more! Not this time, Phil. No more meetings, no more discussions, no more Blankfein tricks. You give 'em one message: I want Bankfein. If not, it's all-out war: we go to the mattresses.
Quibble, but aren't all beards "unshaven"?
Arriving on the UES, I fondly recalled my days as "Diaper Boy" and felt a slight itch on my nose as the cab sped past Trilogy bar and Grill.
Smith made Innocence of the Muslims? Can this guy get any more despicable?!
Must have been one of Greg's more successful friends who lives closer to the park.
When an APB goes out for a younger, more cross-eyed James Carville, then Greg has every right to hang out at Phil's.
Go on…
- B. Frank
Smith continued, "I knew my blade bag – sorry, ping pong paddle case to the uninitiated – was a no-go. That great big Star of David from the Maccabiah Games was just too visible. So, I had to leave the blade at home. And that was tough to do. Real tough."
Trilogy? Did he stop his taxicab-time-machine to have a drink at Martell's or Thady Con's on the way uptown?
This has been a fiendishly clever marketing campaign – despite knowing the book is badly written and relatively dull I just purchased a copy.
did you not read the poster's name, wizenheimer?
there's a sucker born every minute
This guy is such a fucking nerd it's painful to read about.
Goddammit Greg…it wasn't a blowup mattress, it was a $6,000 Shifman
I've read this story a couple of times now, and one thing puzzles me: why didn't he get goddamn a hotel room?
As opposed to a shaven beard?
[The curb, outside Phil’s 4th floor walk-up]
Greg: But what about us?
Phil: … We’ll always have the air mattress. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to 79th Street. We got it back last night.
Greg: … When I said I would never leave you.
Phil: … And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Greg, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. …Now, now… And shave that damn beard, kid.
Muppets Take (upper) Manhattan
No fucking way is he getting in my bar. I'll shove a plastic alligator up his arse
Definitely shoulda hit up Dorrian's instead.
Or Rory McElroy if he shaved his head.
Yeah, he's a good fella to have a tete-a-tete with.
Bander: I'll send you an Amex gift card for $250 if you send Bess the CliffsNotes so she can post them.
Yes I did- and since he said "the cab sped past Trilogy" in the present tense, not "where Trilogy used to be" I made my comment. Good enough for you?
-Black Finn
PS: http://www.murphguide.com/closedbars.htm …much nostalgia…
With such an unusual last name, checking into a hotel would have been too risky.
– AIG FP Secrecy Quant
He can't grow facial hair.
I'm magnanimous in defeat
Run and hide asshole, run and hide.
Further, Phil introduced me to this handy lubricant which sped things up…greased the wheels if you will…
He didn't get the million dollar bonus, where was he supposed to stay, the Palace? Nah, that's like 4 blocks further from the park, better to give Phil and his air mattress a ring.
"perhaps stupidly"
should be Greg's motto.
"I left Goldman Sachs because in 7 years I never came remotely close to getting laid."
- Greg Smith
Also note Chippendale's on 1st ave between 60th/61st, now a BB&B…
The names change, but the clientele is remarkably similar. The place gets crowded a little earlier than I remember though.
- Real Housewife of the UES
this guy is so fuckin hilarious
When did they change the present tense of "speed" to "sped"? I need to pay better attention to my starfall lessons.
FKA = Why one should never leave GS…yummmmmmmm
Destroying this cat, damnnnn………..Wall Street makes hip hop look like Sesame Street
The timing of this book worries me. I'm hoping… no, praying… for socks and a Rudolf sweater this Christmas.
After sleeping at Phil's in the UES, he should of window shopped a hair transplant and chin implant. It works!
-Former Chinless Bald Virgin
It's a matter of cheerful that Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress for you to sleep on, because to sleep on the mattress is very comfortable, So, I think that you have a good luck.
Wow, I really congratulate the writer for creating such an impressive matter of cheerful that Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress. Thank you for your valuable discussion on this great topic. Regards.