“I landed in New York at JFK International close to midnight on the day the op-ed was published. My picture had been all over the place, and I wasn’t sure if people would recognize me, so– perhaps stupidly– I wore a makeshift disguise: a dark brown straw fedora and an unshaven beard. I headed straight for Phil’s place on Seventy-Ninth Street and Third Avenue. Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress for me to sleep on, and said I should come straight over when I landed.”Why I Left Goldman Sachs, Afterward

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Comments (51)

  1. Posted by guest | October 22, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    Guess the shaved head and googley-eyed glasses wouldn't help. I have nothing to add.

  2. Posted by _guest | October 22, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    "Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress for me to sleep on…"

    Phil sounds like he's a handy guy to have in a time of crisis.

  3. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    The only people acknowleging Greg Smith were people wondering if Sam Cassell had acquired the Michael Jackson skin disease.

  4. Posted by Pietro_F | October 22, 2012 at 3:57 PM

    Straw fedora and unshaven beard? Wrong borough Greg.

  5. Posted by PermaGuestII | October 22, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    "Shortly thereafter, despite the disguise, I was ejected from Luke's Bar & Grill, downstairs, by the manager, who said I looked like 'a fucking hipster creep' and was scaring away customers."

  6. Posted by guest | October 22, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    New leader in the clubhouse for most delusional, blowhardy anecdote this idiot has told.

  7. Posted by Im_a_Dude | October 22, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    "Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress"

    They've taken to the mattresses. This means war!

  8. Posted by Wire | October 22, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    No, no, no! No more! Not this time, Phil. No more meetings, no more discussions, no more Blankfein tricks. You give 'em one message: I want Bankfein. If not, it's all-out war: we go to the mattresses.

  9. Posted by guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Quibble, but aren't all beards "unshaven"?

  10. Posted by mid90scalling | October 22, 2012 at 4:08 PM

    Arriving on the UES, I fondly recalled my days as "Diaper Boy" and felt a slight itch on my nose as the cab sped past Trilogy bar and Grill.

  11. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    Smith made Innocence of the Muslims? Can this guy get any more despicable?!

  12. Posted by Alt_EST | October 22, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    Must have been one of Greg's more successful friends who lives closer to the park.

  13. Posted by Sean | October 22, 2012 at 4:12 PM

    When an APB goes out for a younger, more cross-eyed James Carville, then Greg has every right to hang out at Phil's.

  14. Posted by guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    Go on…

    - B. Frank

  15. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Smith continued, "I knew my blade bag – sorry, ping pong paddle case to the uninitiated – was a no-go. That great big Star of David from the Maccabiah Games was just too visible. So, I had to leave the blade at home. And that was tough to do. Real tough."

  16. Posted by PermaGuestII | October 22, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    Trilogy? Did he stop his taxicab-time-machine to have a drink at Martell's or Thady Con's on the way uptown?

  17. Posted by Bandersnatch | October 22, 2012 at 4:18 PM

    This has been a fiendishly clever marketing campaign – despite knowing the book is badly written and relatively dull I just purchased a copy.

  18. Posted by ryans daughter | October 22, 2012 at 4:19 PM

    did you not read the poster's name, wizenheimer?

  19. Posted by Im_a_Dude | October 22, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    there's a sucker born every minute

  20. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    This guy is such a fucking nerd it's painful to read about.

  21. Posted by Phil Falcone | October 22, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    Goddammit Greg…it wasn't a blowup mattress, it was a $6,000 Shifman

  22. Posted by guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    I've read this story a couple of times now, and one thing puzzles me: why didn't he get goddamn a hotel room?

  23. Posted by Redundancy quant | October 22, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    As opposed to a shaven beard?

  24. Posted by Bogie | October 22, 2012 at 4:38 PM

    [The curb, outside Phil’s 4th floor walk-up]

    Greg: But what about us?

    Phil: … We’ll always have the air mattress. We didn’t have, we, we lost it until you came to 79th Street. We got it back last night.

    Greg: … When I said I would never leave you.

    Phil: … And you never will. But I’ve got a job to do, too. Where I’m going, you can’t follow. What I’ve got to do, you can’t be any part of. Greg, I’m no good at being noble, but it doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you’ll understand that. …Now, now… And shave that damn beard, kid.

  25. Posted by Sean | October 22, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    Muppets Take (upper) Manhattan

  26. Posted by Harry's Hula Hut | October 22, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    No fucking way is he getting in my bar. I'll shove a plastic alligator up his arse

  27. Posted by Rob Chambers | October 22, 2012 at 4:50 PM

    Definitely shoulda hit up Dorrian's instead.

  28. Posted by guest | October 22, 2012 at 4:51 PM

    Or Rory McElroy if he shaved his head.

  29. Posted by Jay | October 22, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Yeah, he's a good fella to have a tete-a-tete with.

  30. Posted by FKApmco | October 22, 2012 at 5:11 PM

    Bander: I'll send you an Amex gift card for $250 if you send Bess the CliffsNotes so she can post them.

  31. Posted by PermaGuestII | October 22, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    Yes I did- and since he said "the cab sped past Trilogy" in the present tense, not "where Trilogy used to be" I made my comment. Good enough for you?

    -Black Finn

    PS: http://www.murphguide.com/closedbars.htm …much nostalgia…

  32. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2012 at 5:16 PM

    With such an unusual last name, checking into a hotel would have been too risky.

    – AIG FP Secrecy Quant

  33. Posted by Gregs therapist | October 22, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    He can't grow facial hair.

  34. Posted by Greg Smiff | October 22, 2012 at 5:19 PM

    I'm magnanimous in defeat

  35. Posted by Terry Benedict | October 22, 2012 at 5:30 PM

    Run and hide asshole, run and hide.

  36. Posted by Greg | October 22, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    Further, Phil introduced me to this handy lubricant which sped things up…greased the wheels if you will…

  37. Posted by Guest | October 22, 2012 at 10:03 PM

    He didn't get the million dollar bonus, where was he supposed to stay, the Palace? Nah, that's like 4 blocks further from the park, better to give Phil and his air mattress a ring.

  38. Posted by Long'un | October 23, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    "perhaps stupidly"

    should be Greg's motto.

  39. Posted by Jon Smith | October 23, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    "I left Goldman Sachs because in 7 years I never came remotely close to getting laid."

    - Greg Smith

  40. Posted by WaltJrLikesBreakfast | October 23, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    Also note Chippendale's on 1st ave between 60th/61st, now a BB&B…

    The names change, but the clientele is remarkably similar. The place gets crowded a little earlier than I remember though.

    - Real Housewife of the UES

  41. Posted by guest | October 23, 2012 at 11:24 AM

    this guy is so fuckin hilarious

  42. Posted by Remedial Engrish | October 23, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    When did they change the present tense of "speed" to "sped"? I need to pay better attention to my starfall lessons.

  43. Posted by Logic quant | October 23, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    FKA = Why one should never leave GS…yummmmmmmm

  44. Posted by Rapper quant | October 23, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    Destroying this cat, damnnnn………..Wall Street makes hip hop look like Sesame Street

  45. Posted by Guest | October 23, 2012 at 6:45 PM

    The timing of this book worries me. I'm hoping… no, praying… for socks and a Rudolf sweater this Christmas.

  46. Posted by FCBV | October 24, 2012 at 3:29 PM

    After sleeping at Phil's in the UES, he should of window shopped a hair transplant and chin implant. It works!

    -Former Chinless Bald Virgin

  47. Posted by Jibar | March 16, 2013 at 5:35 AM

    It's a matter of cheerful that Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress for you to sleep on, because to sleep on the mattress is very comfortable, So, I think that you have a good luck.

  48. Posted by Office chairs online | May 13, 2013 at 6:44 AM

    Wow, I really congratulate the writer for creating such an impressive matter of cheerful that Phil had arranged a blow-up mattress. Thank you for your valuable discussion on this great topic. Regards.

  49. Posted by Mario Rojas | August 2, 2013 at 2:11 AM

    Interesting. The expression about the mattress was cute.

  50. Posted by clariaz | November 17, 2013 at 9:59 PM

    Good disguise so no one person who recognized him.

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