As many of you know, here at Dealbreaker we consider ourselves the preeminent scholars on Goldman Sachs president Gary Cohn’s grundle. Specifically, the grundle-to-face conversations he reportedly enjoys having with employees on the trading floor. So we were more than a little delighted to hear that Greg Smith’s book, Why I Left Goldman Sachs, contained a passage describing Cohn’s preferred position to assume while havin’ a chat. Sayeth Smith:

Gary had a very distinctive signature move, one he had become famous for within the firm; I must have seen it ten or fifteen times in action. It didn’t matter if the person he was talking to was male or female; he would walk up to the salesman or saleswoman, hike up one leg, plant his foot on the person’s desk, his thigh close to the employee’s face, and ask how markets were doing. Gary was physically commanding, and the move could have been interpreted as a very primal, alpha-male gesture. I think he just thought it was comfortable.

Having pored through every piece of empirical evidence regarding GC’s G-T-F tendencies at least 500 times, one of our research assistants noticed that Greg’s prose sounded moderately familiar.

Bloomberg’s Max Abelson and Christine Harper, July 24, 2011:

Cohn, 6-foot-3 and 220 pounds, can be intimidating, two former colleagues said. He would sometimes hike up one leg, plant his foot on a trader’s desk, his thigh close to the employee’s face, and ask how markets were doing, they said.

As the foremost experts on this topic, what you’re seeing here may be proof that there is only one way to describe Gary’s oft-repeated sequence of actions, a finding that will appear in our next academic paper, “The Effect of the Cohn Grundle on Bond Market Liquidity During the Financial Crisis of 2007-2008.”

Earlier: Succeeding Blankfein at Goldman May Be Hurdle Too High for Cohn [Bloomberg]

18 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (18)

  1. Posted by shocked | October 23, 2012 at 5:54 PM

    DB has research assistants?

  2. Posted by Bored | October 23, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Yeah, Turnitin Dotcom started last week, guy is a killer.

  3. Posted by P | October 23, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    Plagiarism? Would that be a surprise?

  4. Posted by Jayson Blair | October 23, 2012 at 6:02 PM

    Mr. Smith, I like your style!

  5. Posted by Guest | October 23, 2012 at 6:04 PM

    Good lord. I want to root for the guy but this is becoming insufferable.

  6. Posted by Lisa Cohn | October 23, 2012 at 6:06 PM

    Greggy would really have loved to "seen it 10 or 15 times in action"

  7. Posted by InfiniteGuest | October 23, 2012 at 6:06 PM

    Greg Smith circa 1999 never would have plagiarized Bloomberg, and frankly, I'm astounded and saddened to see this decline in his moral fiber under Blankfein's leadership.

  8. Posted by Puck It | October 23, 2012 at 6:07 PM

    Smith = Kouwe…..right? Anyone ever seen the two in the same room together?

  9. Posted by Guest | October 23, 2012 at 6:08 PM

    Bess, what the fuck is up with the comments under the old grundle post you linked to?

  10. Posted by Bandersnatch | October 23, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    It's flattery at it's most sincere.

  11. Posted by guest | October 23, 2012 at 6:28 PM

    I see nothing wrong with them.

    – UBS Bot Quant

  12. Posted by Gary Cohn | October 23, 2012 at 6:30 PM


    I just heard that Greg sucks a mean dick.

    We figured we'd give him one last shot at MD.

  13. Posted by Drifter | October 23, 2012 at 6:35 PM


  14. Posted by guest | October 23, 2012 at 6:36 PM

    Footnotes are your friend.

  15. Posted by Milton Berle | October 24, 2012 at 12:34 AM

    Nothing wrong with borrowing a joke.

  16. Posted by Vice Pres | October 24, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    Me too!

    – Joe Biden

  17. Posted by artie help | October 24, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    saw him do this on the old nymex wtc gold floor to Joe "low T" Terranova of CNBC fame, Joe was never the same after that, aaahh the good old days.

  18. Posted by clean up crew | October 25, 2012 at 10:09 AM

    I was just searching Google for "Grundle-to-Face" and the first link brought me here.