• 26 Oct 2012 at 3:51 PM

Layoffs Watch ’12: UBS Has Something To Share

Management has decided to burn the investment bank down and start fresh (basically).

UBS is set to unveil a radical downsizing of its struggling investment bank next week in a move that will prompt the loss of up to 10,000 jobs across the Swiss banking group. Switzerland’s largest bank by assets will significantly shrink the trading side and complexity of its investment bank and as a consequence also cut thousands of jobs in its back office over the next few years, three people close to the situation said. The job cuts will amount to almost a sixth of the bank’s workforce of 63,500 at the end of June. They will not happen all at once and the precise number is still unclear… It comes on top of another – still ongoing – programme announced last year to cut 3,500 jobs. The new strategy, hammered out in several executive board meetings in New York this week and set to be announced next Tuesday, will lead to the closure of a sizeable part of UBS’s fixed-income trading operations and other capital-intensive areas of the investment bank.

UBS To Cut Up To 10,000 Jobs [FT]
Related: UBS’s Investment Banking Head May Have To Slash His Own Expenses “Like A Jewish Shopkeeper”

41 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (41)

  1. Posted by UBS | October 26, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Really SUCKS!

  2. Posted by Hungry | October 26, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    May the odds be ever in your favor

  3. Posted by mrp | October 26, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    this is just almost too comical….

  4. Posted by we get it... | October 26, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    For the love of God and all that is Holy, just get out of the business and stick to Wealth Managment.

  5. Posted by UBS Sucks Guy | October 26, 2012 at 4:00 PM

    It's all my fault :-)

  6. Posted by Question..... | October 26, 2012 at 4:03 PM

    What could 63,500 people possibly be doing over there right now?

  7. Posted by Aunt | October 26, 2012 at 4:10 PM

    How about changing your name to SUB? Well, wadda yah think?

  8. Posted by Hakuna Matata Guy | October 26, 2012 at 4:14 PM

    It's actually really not.

  9. Posted by Big Four | October 26, 2012 at 4:15 PM

    Thank you for the sugestion. Unfortunately after a top to bottom audit of the company's finanicals, it has come to our attention that we can no longer afford to carry the letter "U" on our books. We will know be called simply BS.

  10. Posted by Rick | October 26, 2012 at 4:28 PM

    We will continue to pursue a strategy of optimizing our investment bank for our clients' needs.

    Since we have no clients, the optimal outcome is to continue to eliminate the investment bank.

    Karsten

  11. Posted by Guest | October 26, 2012 at 4:32 PM

    The only thing that can save UBS is the Frankenstorm!

  12. Posted by The Optimist | October 26, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    Don't worry guys. This is a sign that the banking business will pick up soon.
    UBS will be just have to pay up to buy back fixed income operations 2 years from now.

  13. Posted by Yum Brands | October 26, 2012 at 4:40 PM

    UBS will have to merge with Sea World to survive.

  14. Posted by Confused | October 26, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    What – UBS needs to merge with the Frankenstorm?

  15. Posted by guest | October 26, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    Ok, HR and PR people, try to follow along here: When you publicly announce that layoffs "won't happen all at once," you prompt ALL your people to go looking for new jobs, including the ones you want to retain. Since those are the talented ones, they'll get other jobs, leaving you an employee base composed entirely of people you were planning to fire. This outcome is bad for your organization.

    Good heavens it isn't that complicated…

  16. Posted by Blindbro | October 26, 2012 at 5:00 PM

    We have a series of cuts underway. Overlapping at times.
    What would that mean practically ?

    Ive got a list here, dave in ficc um

    hes on my list too ?

    allright go down and fire him, then ill call him at home tomorrow and fire him
    again for not coming in

  17. Posted by guest | October 26, 2012 at 5:03 PM

    Losing money.

  18. Posted by drifter | October 26, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    No no, frank storm over at newedge.

    Made a fortune in Dax futures.

  19. Posted by K. Moelis | October 26, 2012 at 5:24 PM

    Called it.

  20. Posted by Jamie D. | October 26, 2012 at 5:38 PM

    I already did this once with Bear, and stop with the damn whale jokes!

  21. Posted by Honest Guy | October 26, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    To be fair, I think the actually talented ones probably bailed about five rounds of layoffs ago.

  22. Posted by Yum Brands | October 26, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    " UBS has talent ? "

    The hot new game show on Daytime.

  23. Posted by Gartman | October 26, 2012 at 8:22 PM

    I called it first.

  24. Posted by Ralph386 | October 26, 2012 at 11:51 PM

    U B etter S tart looking

  25. Posted by Occupier | October 27, 2012 at 1:50 AM

    Dear UBSers,

    Welcome to the 99%.

    We are waiting for you.

    Yes!

    -Occupier

  26. Posted by Guest | October 27, 2012 at 4:42 AM

    Trust us, they were already with you. Now go slap some bongos and continue drag down the economy.

  27. Posted by Vikram Pandit | October 27, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    I'm available !

  28. Posted by Rob | October 27, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    The only employable people left at UBS Stamford are those who have homes deep in CT and refuse to commute to NYC to find greener pastures as a lifestyle choice. The rest are unemployable and will sit right until the axe falls.

  29. Posted by Last UBS guy | October 27, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    should i turn out the lights?

  30. Posted by P.Forlenza | October 27, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    My contract is still money good, right?

  31. Posted by 47% member | October 27, 2012 at 9:35 PM

    Thought the guy from Zurich said not to believe the drive by media.
    Too many ppl with sensitive egos at the UBS Stamford office.
    I say get rid of all md's and ed's. they always cry like little babies and no backbone.

  32. Posted by Hakuna Fartata | October 27, 2012 at 10:13 PM

    The swiss love the smell of their own

  33. Posted by This is the fact | October 28, 2012 at 8:54 AM

    The quality of the comments is really appalling … Have a slow read again and tell yourself that these are not pathetic attempts at humour …

  34. Posted by Brave Kander | October 28, 2012 at 3:27 PM

    <img src="http://www.newautoquote.us/ikeas/loo.jpg"/&gt; Well with their profit this bad, there's no way they won't lay off people.<img src="http://www.newautoquote.us/xboz/jj.jpg"/&gt;

  35. Posted by guest | October 28, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    What 'talented' person would accept an offer to work there after all of this? The ones who didn't have enough talent for the top tier BBs and elites.

  36. Posted by Guest | October 28, 2012 at 6:17 PM

    At least this will put an end to the UBS MD & Fill in the Blank Quant jokes.

    - BoAML Commentary Quant

  37. Posted by Kweku Adoboli | October 29, 2012 at 12:29 AM

    UBS was my family. Everything I did was for the benefit of the bank.

  38. Posted by EX UBS(hitter) | October 29, 2012 at 6:09 AM

    Every EX UBS colleague is welcome to switch his existing clients to our new HIGHLY LEVERAGED High Frequency Trading FX FUND, domiciled in Dublin. Leveraged 1:10 (yeah, it´s going to be a hardcore one). Only EX UBS Wealth Management ladies and gentlemen welcomed that want to earn at least 7 figure bonuses (right, the bonuses your sh.tty EX employer doesn´t want to pay you, because the "management" deserves the payment of 7 digits for themselves. Any interested party can email me [email protected] (and yes, I am EX UBS(hitter). ;=)

  39. Posted by Ex UBS WM Employee | October 29, 2012 at 6:43 AM

    Unfotunately, I already own a very risky security of a highly leveraged institution – its called UBS stock.

  40. Posted by Koji Nagai-Nomura | October 29, 2012 at 6:55 AM

    Dear Sergio-san, We believe a merger with Nomura Holdings may solve our mutual problems. Thank you.

  41. Posted by Rodskog | October 29, 2012 at 3:11 PM

    FIRE ME PLEASE