Earlier this week, before a natural disaster struck the East Coast, UBS announced that it would be calling it quits on its fixed income experiment and focusing on wealth management, letting go of approximately 10,000 employees as it transitioned back to its tax evading roots. That was Monday morning, and while the bank had said that it planned to start cuts on Tuesday, most people assumed that the Swiss would wait at least 24 hours between the time Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy told residents to seek safety from the storm on their roofs or power for the many who lost it was restored or NY/NJ/CT mass transit started functioning again to can a bunch of staff. Those people, however, thought wrong. Apparently when UBS higher-ups decide to do something, neither wind nor rain nor is gonna stop them.

“Need time to get your shit together after Hurricane Sandy? UBS HR doesn’t think so. The cuts started for New York yesterday, calling people on their cell phones to cell them they were done. It was a bloodbath. They spared very few. Whole divisions in fixed income trading were let go. All the way up to Executive Directors. No junior person in Fixed Income Trading remains, even first years on the desk who started the training program in July and then started on the desk in August were let go. We were told not to return to work by either HR or your MD, if he/she had enough courage to do it themselves. It was over their heads it seems. A small senior level staff remains to support secondary trading in our High Yield primary issuance business, but it looks like most of IG got wiped out, Distressed no longer exists and is being wound down, CLOs is gone….they decimated the business overnight and spared nobody, including older guys with families who were lifers at UBS.”

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Comments (64)

  1. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    Turnaround plan for UBS

    1) Reduce expenses by 99.99%
    2) No change in Revenues
    3) Reduce losses by 99.99%

    – McKinsey & Co.

  2. Posted by Anonymous | October 31, 2012 at 10:27 AM


  3. Posted by B2b MD | October 31, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    The main issue with doing this post storm is that access to liquor has been greatly diminished, as have most people's home inventory, after sitting around the past couple of days.

  4. Posted by Guesto | October 31, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    R I Penis

  5. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    Drinking the sea/sewer water could get you F'ed up way better than any alcohol.

  6. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 10:55 AM

    4) Become the 99%

  7. Posted by UBS is the Worst | October 31, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    UBS is an awful company. Anytime anyone management mentions "company culture", someone should stand up in the crowd, throw a penalty flag and remind people that they lay people off the day after a natural disaster…

  8. Posted by Hobbes | October 31, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    This is just fucking great, I get canned right after signing a 3-year lease on the new Honda Accord.

    – UBS MD

  9. Posted by Beau Gueste | October 31, 2012 at 11:17 AM

    5) Profit.

  10. Posted by PermaGuestII | October 31, 2012 at 11:19 AM

    What a bunch of fucking low-lifes.

    Hope the State of CT demands immediate repayment of whatever incentive they got to stay in Stamford.

  11. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    I know our Investment grade and hy desks are now down to less than 10 professionals in CT/NY. Maybe a block trade for us to RBS or Nomura. Please!!??? SOS!

  12. Posted by Trader Who Checked | October 31, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    No, they're not.

  13. Posted by Consultant | October 31, 2012 at 11:26 AM

    As part of its strategic initiative, UBS also announced it will immediately change its company name to "TBS"; short for "Titanic Business Systems."

  14. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    our layoffs are Unaffected By Sandy.

    – Shitbag Company

  15. Posted by Hobbes2 | October 31, 2012 at 11:44 AM

    And the Accord is now underwater: literally and figuratively!

  16. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 11:51 AM

    In other news, Jay Leno now has a garage on the East Coast for his car collection.

  17. Posted by RingRing | October 31, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    Hello, this is a recorded message from UBS HR. You're fired. No need to come collect your belongings as the storm swept them away. We wish you well.

  18. Posted by pazzo83 | October 31, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    Wow.. what a bunch of assholes.

    – Hurricane Sandy

  19. Posted by guest | October 31, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    EDD line number the NKI

  20. Posted by Financial Samurai | October 31, 2012 at 12:44 PM

    Can anybody talk about the severance packages people got? I really hope UBS has taken care of people who've worked all year, only to get let go now.

  21. Posted by Financial Samurai | October 31, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Do you have any insight to their severance packages? I really hope UBS has taken care of people who've worked all year, only to get let go now.

  22. Posted by broseph | October 31, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    No matter how jaded one becomes, it's hard to keep up.

    -Bloomberg start screen quote from a couple years back

  23. Posted by UBS HR | October 31, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    Was a watch not enough?

  24. Posted by UBS management | October 31, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    animals have no rights or feelings

  25. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 1:04 PM

    I was hoping you had been washed out to sea in the storm.

  26. Posted by Jeffy | October 31, 2012 at 1:06 PM

    UBS = Charles Schwab in 2 years

  27. Posted by Backdoor_Bess | October 31, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    The Rutgers MBA program is going to get crushed with new applicants

  28. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 1:24 PM

    So a 35.4 hour workweek with median income? Things are definitely looking up then.

    -UBS MD.

  29. Posted by Ric | October 31, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    THey let first years analyst go one day before bonuses… and told the poor kids they were being canned given performance reasons. 1/3 of the 1st years analyst class under performing??? Totally yes, just a handful of people there have the capacity, talent and experience to train people.
    I tip my hat to recruiters and all other toothless cronies in that failed bank. Glad they are going back to their roots in tax evasion.

  30. Posted by SellingLow | October 31, 2012 at 1:28 PM

    You have no idea how much I hate you.

  31. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 1:43 PM

    seriously, fuck off and die.

  32. Posted by guest | October 31, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    I am sorry. At the moment, we only have openings for chicken dancers.

    I am sorry. We have a policy of not hiring professionals on our fixed income desks.

  33. Posted by Good Smore | October 31, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Was HR programed to self destruct after layoffs were completed?

  34. Posted by guest | October 31, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    posting a second variation of this comment did not improve it…

  35. Posted by George | October 31, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    Ray Bingham (aka George Cloney in Up In the Air) would be proud how his HR students at UBS are treating their own blood. He would however suggest to cut off their healthcare insurance pronto to save a few francs.

  36. Posted by Admissions Office | October 31, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    Let's let them complete their Bachelor degrees first.

  37. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 3:02 PM

    You already asked and you were duly ignored. Take the rest of the day off.

  38. Posted by Concerned Commenter | October 31, 2012 at 4:23 PM

    Wait, without any UBS left, ~90% of the commentariat jokes are gone. Who fills this void?

  39. Posted by Sandy | October 31, 2012 at 4:34 PM

    Get back to your spreadsheets little slave!

  40. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 4:41 PM

    We're on it!

    – Knight Capital

  41. Posted by rog | October 31, 2012 at 4:51 PM

    Bye Stamford, Greenwich, Darien, Westport , New Canaan and Wilton real estate markets! Seriously when we were looking for a house / high end townhouse in Stamford a vast majority of those $600k-$2m were UBS employee owned

  42. Posted by Guest | October 31, 2012 at 5:05 PM

    You mean "low end"
    -Fairfield County Real Estate

  43. Posted by reality | October 31, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    You really think all of the real estate in those towns is bought up by UBS people?

    -employee of every CT-based hedge fund

  44. Posted by UBS MD | October 31, 2012 at 5:25 PM

    Wait a minute, so they ARE opening up a Costco in Stamford!!

  45. Posted by Anderson | October 31, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    and buy new computers

  46. Posted by John Edward Corzine | October 31, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    I would have done this differently.

  47. Posted by guest | October 31, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    He said mid range.

  48. Posted by Longjohnson | October 31, 2012 at 6:13 PM

    What about the 5yr tax break UBS rcvd from CT?
    Again, nix all those do nothing self titled md's. awesome job rallying the troops

  49. Posted by UBS sucks | October 31, 2012 at 7:17 PM

    nuff said

  50. Posted by Rog | October 31, 2012 at 10:05 PM

    6300 employees in CT.
    Homes in Fairfield country < 300,000, those between 500,000 and 2m = 120,000
    Most of these 6000 live in CT lets say 1000 in NY so 5000/120000 = 4% of homes on FFC

  51. Posted by Rig | October 31, 2012 at 10:08 PM

    30-60? Hege funds? 50-100 employees each? Do the math

  52. Posted by Stephen Hester, RBS | November 1, 2012 at 12:21 AM

    "A day after UBS AG announced it was cutting up to 10,000 jobs by 2015, UBS chairman Axel Weber is warning that many of the Swiss banking giant's rivals may have to follow suit."

    We dont have electronic access systems anymore, as we had to dispose it as scrap in our last round of cost reductions.

  53. Posted by guest | November 1, 2012 at 12:39 AM

    I call next!

    – Jimmy G.

  54. Posted by Roberto Hoornweg | November 1, 2012 at 12:52 AM

    Dear Axel,

    Thank you for your letter. I understand UBS' decison to defocus on FICC, but usage of a coin toss to decide between me and Rajiv Mishra is unprofessional.

    Roberto, Co-Head FICC, UBS

  55. Posted by NJ Elite | November 1, 2012 at 3:11 AM

    Rutgers is for trailer trash in any case.

    Wonder how Harvey Schwartz, the new Goldman CFO, and Rutgers grad, got the gig.

    Most likely he wore a mullet during his youth.

  56. Posted by UBS Insider Tapes | November 1, 2012 at 4:17 AM

    UBS HR : Good morning, how are you today ? You're fired.
    Oswald Greubel : Please stop calling me and update your internal org charts – I've already been fired by UBS a year ago.

  57. Posted by mitch | November 1, 2012 at 9:09 AM

    who won the toss ?

  58. Posted by Rag | November 1, 2012 at 9:30 AM

    You're still clueless Rog. Many of the 6300 live in apartments in Stamford and fix computers when at work. Someday you'll be able to afford that house, but UBS will have nothing to do with it, literally.

  59. Posted by Arrel | November 1, 2012 at 10:08 AM

    This seems a little far fetched. is this confirmed? what is the source of that quote?

  60. Posted by Arrel | November 1, 2012 at 10:16 AM

    My bad, found a reference at FT. They disabled people's security cards. http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/0/8d14cbf0-2282-11e2

  61. Posted by Guest | November 1, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    all the employees whose badges didn't work.

  62. Posted by DingDong | November 1, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    It was obvious that anyone without ML on their CV is doomed at UBS.

  63. Posted by maite_baron | November 5, 2012 at 12:27 PM

    There is going to be more and more layoffs from the likes of banks and other large corporations. The real solution for all those employed in these places is to organise their corporate escape and become self employed entrepreneurs.

  64. Posted by franlin | November 13, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    this is the worst place ever. they suck big time… they replaced any and all skilled people with thiose who can't speak english. hopefully they fail soon