Credit Suisse Profit Falls (Reuters)
The Swiss bank said on Thursday third-quarter net profit fell 63 percent to 254 million francs, missing analysts’ average forecast of 370 million. The quarter was hit by 1.05 billion francs in charges, mainly linked to its own debt.
Brady Dougan: More Tough Times Ahead For Financials (CNBC)
More aggressive cost cutting will be necessary in the coming years, Credit Suisse CEO Brady Dougan told CNBC Thursday, adding that he expects the financial services industry to continue to operate in a volatile market environment. The bank is targeting cost savings of a billion Swiss francs ($1.07 billion) by next year with further cuts in the years after that. “We believe we should be in mode of driving business more efficiently. We have cut 2 billion Swiss francs in the last year and we can take another billion in 2013 and [we have] set further targets for 2014 and 2015. We want to drive that efficiency and we are in a volatile revenue environment and that’ll be the case for the industry for some time,” Dougan said.
CEOs Call For Deficit Action (WSJ)
Chief executives of more than 80 big-name U.S. corporations, from Aetna to Weyerhaeuser Co. are banding together to pressure Congress to reduce the federal deficit with tax-revenue increases as well as spending cuts. The CEOs, in a statement to be released on Thursday, say any fiscal plan “that can succeed both financially and politically” has to limit the growth of health-care spending, make Social Security solvent and “include comprehensive and pro-growth tax reform, which broadens the base, lowers rates, raises revenues and reduces the deficit.” The CEOs who signed the manifesto deem tax increases inevitable no matter which party succeeds at the polls in November. “There is no possible way; you can do the arithmetic a million different ways” to avoid raising taxes, said Mark Bertolini, CEO of Aetna. “You can’t tax your way to fix this problem, and you can’t cut entitlements enough to fix this problem.”
Crew Of Argentine Ship Seized By Hedge Fund Elliot Associates Returns Home (AP)
They were supposed to sail the Argentine military’s signature tall ship into the port of Buenos Aires in full glory after a goodwill tour asserting the South American country’s place in the world. Instead, hundreds of sailors had to abandon their frigate, evacuated on orders from President Cristina Fernandez, after the ARA Libertad was detained by a Ghanaian judge in a debt dispute. Frustrated and disheartened but determined to go back as soon as possible to retrieve their three-masted ship, the sailors arrived home early Thursday on an Air France charter. The Argentine government couldn’t send one of its own planes, for fear that it, too, could be seized as collateral.
China Surpasses US as Top Foreign Investment Venue (Reuters)
China overtook the U.S. as the world’s top destination for foreign direct investment in the first half of 2012, according to the United Nations Conference on Trade and Development. China absorbed $59.1 billion in foreign direct investment (FDI) in the first six months, down slightly from $60.9 billion a year earlier, the agency said in a report. The United States attracted $57.4 billion in 2012′s first half, down 39 percent from a year earlier, it said.
Teen charged with DWI, leading police on high-speed chase (WTKR)
A high-speed chase from Gates Co. into Pasquotank Co., N.C. Saturday night involved two teenagers. It ended when the car crashed into a ditch. “I don’t know what we were thinking. I don’t know why we did it, and I am so very sorry,” said Nirvana Childers. The 17-year-old is looking back on Saturday night with a lot of regret, after she says she and her 16-year-old boyfriend got into a car after they had been drinking. The top of the car is flattened from flipping over and landing in a ditch on U.S. 158. Officials say Childers was the driver that night. According to the Gates County Sheriff’s Office, she turned the car around when she came upon a checkpoint set up by deputies and started driving back into Pasquotank County, leading deputies on a high-speed chase. The sheriff’s office says they didn’t get far before crashing, though they did travel more than 100 miles per hour at one point. Childers is now facing multiple charges, but while she says she regrets drinking and getting in the car, she says it wasn’t her behind the wheel – it was her boyfriend. “I don’t know how to drive. I don’t even know how to put gas in a car, let alone drive,” said Childers.
Fed Steady On Policy (WSJ)
The Fed expanded bond purchasing at its September meeting and plans to do its next major evaluation of its bond-buying programs at its final meeting of the year on Dec. 11-12. Policy makers are still gathering evidence on whether their programs are working. “The Committee remains concerned that, without sufficient policy accommodation, economic growth might not be strong enough to generate sustained improvement in labor market conditions,” the Federal Open Market Committee, the Fed’s policy-making committee, said in a statement issued at the end of its two-day meeting.
Jobless Claims Show Moderate Labor Progress (Bloomberg)
Jobless claims decreased by 23,000 to 369,000 in the week ended Oct. 20 from a revised 392,000 the prior period, the Labor Department reported today in Washington.
Stephen Colbert Makes Donald Trump An Offer (Mediaite)
Reality star Donald Trump yesterday offered to donate $5 million to a charity of Barack Obama‘s choosing if the President “opens up and gives his college records and applications, and if he gives his passport applications and records.” Stephen Colbert, touched by Trump’s generosity, made an offer of his own last night. He is vowing to pledge $1 million from his Super PAC to any charity Trump wants if: “…you let me dip my balls in your mouth.”
Lazard Profit Drops As Merger-Advisory Revenue Falls (Bloomberg)
Lazard, the largest independent merger-advisory firm, posted a 33 percent drop in third-quarter profit as revenue from advising on mergers declined. The firm said it would implement a cost-cutting plan. Earnings fell to $35.4 million, or 26 cents a share, from $52.9 million, or 39 cents, a year earlier, the Hamilton, Bermuda-based firm said today in a statement. The average estimate of 11 analysts surveyed by Bloomberg was for per-share profit of 21 cents.
Japanese man pays $780K for virginity of 20-year-old Brazil woman, who’ll use money for charity housing project (NYDN)
A Brazilian student is set to sell her virginity for a staggering $780,000 after she put it up for auction online. A man called Natsu, from Japan, fended off strong competition from American bidders Jack Miller and Jack Right, and a big-spender from India, Rudra Chatterjee, to secure a date with 20-year-old Catarina Migliorini. The auction ended at 4 a.m. EST this morning, and the physical education student — who said she will use the cash to build homes for poverty-stricken families — was the subject of 15 bids. “The auction is just business, I’m a romantic girl at heart and believe in love. But this will make a big difference to my area,” she told Folha newspaper. “If you only do it once in your life then you are not a prostitute, just like if you take one amazing photograph it does not automatically make you a photographer.
And now for Mittens next act, he will deny ever advocating for across the board tax cuts, while simultaneously trying to convince voters it was Obama who has wanted to cut taxes for everyone. Leadership if I ever saw it.
Bess- I went to look at some older stories and all the comments posted by my brethren have been replaced with spam from idiots and bots asking for friendship and ad space.
Que pasa? What's IT doing over there?
From NYDN: "A male virgin named Alexander, who is also being followed as part of director Justin Selsey's documentary, sold for $3,000 to a Brazilian woman called Nene B."
So I'm guessing all that empirical research on the supposed gender salary gap didn't include "virgin being auctioned to highest bidder" as one of the included careers?
Is that you Phil? I can't put my finger on why but you seem like the sort who would feel sympathetic to Greg Smith and arrange an air mattress for him.
Cutbacks hit us hard too. Got a whole bunch of empty wheels back here, and DB went to bargain-brand pellets. It will get worse before it gets better, I'm afraid.
Bye "IT" you mean the bottom bucket intern that Matt took with him when he left GS but who hangs around because at least he can go on WSO and brag about interning for a GS VP? Yea, he's not really too good with the computers.
“I don’t know what we were thinking. I don’t know why we did it, and I am so very sorry,” said Nirvana Childers.
This is what happens when you're conceived at Lollapolooza…
- The Ghost of Kurt Cobain
I'm pleased the story about the virgin worked in the verb "plough."
Hey Obama, a 20 year old virgin is screwing a creepy Japanese guy for charity and you won't show us your report card? Can you elaborate on this?
- Undecided
Opening Bell is a little late. Nothing to worry about, you see as someone who reads and comments on DealBreaker, I know that when it comes to logistics there is only one company that I trust to ship my Bonobos and Patron, that's right — UPS
That's UPS, We <3 Logistics
That's UPS, We <3 Logistics
That's UPS, We <3 Logistics
That's UPS, We <3 Logistics
That's UPS, We <3 Logistics
Mmm… I am also willing to sell my virginity for $780K. As a bonus, I'll include some bridge in Brooklyn for the low, low sum of $220K.
P.S. Valid only to the first 200 callers.
$780K? Fuck, all I got was a corsage, prom ticket, dinner at Sizzler, and some wine coolers.
- Homecoming Queen 2012
Meant to be signed as pmco.
Jack Miller vs Jack Right in a bidding war? IT'S A JACK OFF!
"20-Year-Old Brazil Woman Found Dead. Police Seeking A Man Named Natsu"
Hey, Colbert, that's my move!
-Chazzy Sackarino
Hey buddy, this isn't Huffpo
Smells like teen spirit…
Credit Suisse….sucks?
To be fair, the young lady does have a way with words.
-P. Falcone, Nomura Overseas Expansion Quant, R. Gupta, et al.
Got any of those wine coolers left?
-Guy who will show you Charlotte like no one else can
Ah fuck! I forgot to increase my bid.
What a sad case of misguided teen spirit–clearly Nirvana's relationship is in bloom and she was just trying to impress this guy. Sadly, I doubt all apologies in the world will help her now–the legal system will surely try to drain her.
Sometimes when I'm really hitting it off with a new girl I'll randomly text her, "Stop contacting me." Deadly and hilarious.
No need to yell the punchline, son. We can read. First time?
and the entire porn industry
"Childers is now facing multiple charges, but while she says she regrets drinking and getting in the car, she says it wasn’t her behind the wheel"
…it's now widely believed that Courtney Love was in fact behind the wheel.
Don't you have some bids to put in? I'm sure you can raise it about 3k
non se·qui·tur /nɒn ˈsɛkwɪtər, -ˌtʊər; Lat. noʊn ˈsɛkwɪˌtʊər/ [non sek-wi-ter, -toor; Lat. nohn se-kwi-toor] noun
1. a statement having little or no relevance to what preceded it
Some people shouldn't Breed.
A virgin? From Brazil?! Yup, $780k sounds about right.
Colbert, I see your offer and raise you double!
- L. Tilton
“If you only do it once in your life then you are not a prostitute, just like if you take one amazing photograph it does not automatically make you a photographer."
If this is true, UBS doing 1 deal a year doesn't make them an investment bank.
Self deprecating humor. I like it.
"As long as I am president, they can keep the frigate, but no one will take the liberty, sovereignty and dignity of this country"
That's fine. We're happy just to take your stuff.
- Elliot
I find your syncretism disturbing.
Credit Suickse
So it ain't my boy then..
- J. Cash
Couldn't agree more. Driving the car once didn't make me a driver.
- Nirvana
If you only do it once in your life then you are not a prostitute, just like if you take one amazing photograph it does not automatically make you a photographer."
Fair, but if a man builds 1,000 bridges and sucks 1 dick, no one calls him a bridge builder – they call him a cocksucker.
Headline more likely if the man was named Shaquille or Lebron as opposed to Natsu.
Who's going to take her virginity? Natsu!!!!
If you only do it once in your life you're not a prostitute.
I already did it once and it wasn't so bad.
Wow, I am really behind on my credit card bill.
I am a prostitute.
I was going to comment about how awful this was. Then I decided it was too awful to even wast any time commenting on at all. But I figured I'd let you know that anyway.
Fucking Japanese people! With their kung-fu and their silly chang-chang-chong talk! We can't understand you! Go back to yer country!
– Clayton Bigsby
"Barcos y hoes, Barcos y hoes, tengo que me tengo… WHOA! Ay! Hey esse! Where you going with mi boat, man"
Since when do you have know how to put gas in a car to drive it?
-S. Anderson
"But I thought if you make one trade on inside information, it doesn't make you an insider trader."
:(
Hmm, when you put it that way unloading our Netherlands mixed use real estate portfolio after finding it to be a "non-core asset" seems like a bad call.
Pretty sure those two don't need to actually *pay* to bang a 20 y/o.
Step 5: ???
Step 6: Profit
All apologies to the…. nevermind.
What she said.
- Virgin Mary.
What is the Dealbreaker hurricane preperedness status?
Guy who hopes to get all of Monday off to view re-read Matt's posts so I can finally make sense of it all.
You got to put the dwang in my ass to drive me
But one day they will…
- LT
#88 fo life
Polly wants a cracker?
You're not paying to bang them, you're paying them so that they leave afterwards.
I'm the one fixing the sandwiches in my family
-Uggs model in Boston
Eric Lindros Rules!
TL for a homeless person's placard soliciting funds.
Japanese man pays $780K for a vag like the vice grip on a paint shaker.
Fixed it for you.
Please, stuff your sympathy in a heart-shaped box. When the justice system is done with them, they'll be wishing they were still in utero.
And you're not "too good" with spelling.
Nice try, A-Rod
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
- The Who
ah, whatever
2. A thumbs up for N'08
Donald, is that you?