Severance Watch ’12: UBS

Some details on the packages offered to those fired post-Hurricane.

“Canned fixed income employees were told we’d get 3 weeks for every year worked, but HR didn’t even have the details or papers ready– they basically said the document would be in the mail.”

(hidden for your protection)
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21 Responses to “Severance Watch ’12: UBS”

  1. Bejujular says:

    No socks and kleenex?

  2. E. Cartman says:

    Phase II: Win equities mandate to privatize Royal Post.
    Phase III: Win asset management mandate for Royal Post pension scheme.

    – Andrea

  3. Milton says:

    excuse me… ah.. uh.. I believe you have my stapler…

  4. Guest says:

    Ha! "the document would be in the mail”? Im still wating for my docs from Lehman!

    – Central Park Horse Carriage Manure Quant

  5. Guest says:

    Laxbro looks happy in his new job.

  6. nope says:

    That’s odd – in the past (last yr and earlier this yr) it’s been 2weeks/yr. Change of heart? Or just misinformed HR guys?

  7. UBS Choppa says:

    Three weeks!?!??! Oh thank god.[youtube V17duGlHEYY youtube]

  8. Guest says:

    UBS is the Law & Order of finance…Everyone’s got it on their resume but you never actually meet someone who works there.

    -Wannabe Actor

  9. Deck Chair Arranger says:

    Well, at least Carsten still has a job. And isn't that what matters most?

  10. guest says:

    the severance watch better worth more than the bonus watch

  11. Guest says:

    There's a tree on my house.

  12. Citi HR says:

    Thank you for making us look like we know what we're doing

  13. Guest says:

    I don't care.


  14. Sandy says:

    I was able to get more after reading "How To Engineer Your Layoff" by Financial Samurai. I'm chilling for the next two years while collecting unemployment now! Yiiiihaw!


  15. P&L says:

    clawbacks ?

    we haven't made money in years I realize but this is insult to injury

  16. Guest says:

    Fuck. This post is gonna make Financial Samurai happy.

  17. guest says:

    Ur Bonus is Severance.

  18. Rajiv Mishra says:

    It is a pity. I wont have any staff to buy me tiles and santiaryware for my new mansion at Kensington Palace Gardens.

  19. This post is gonna make Financial Samurai happy.