The result is a multi-dimensional man who lives in a bottle, takes his sartorial cues from Flava Flav, and predicts election results “Mr. G” doesn’t even want.

Time to vote! So I pulled out my magic lamp that for some reason works only every October 22nd, and rubbed until the Genie appeared in his red and white checkered cloak with a 10-inch diameter Flavor Flav clock hanging ceremoniously around his neck. Being a rather forward, although not disrespectful Genie, he immediately said, “Mr. G, instead of the yield on the 10-year Treasury, perhaps this year you should wish to know who is going to win the Presidential election?” After some thought I replied, “Nah, I need some breaking news, Mr. Genie, something that will make a difference, something that will shock the world, like when does the iPhone 6 come out?” Obama/Romney, Romney/Obama – the most important election of our lifetime? Fact is they’re all the same – bought and paid for with the same money. Ours is a country of the SuperPAC, by the SuperPAC, and for the SuperPAC. The “people” are merely election-day pawns, pulling a Democratic or Republican lever that will deliver the same results every four years.

[PIMCO via Daily Intel, related, related, related]

11 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (11)

  1. Posted by derpies | November 1, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    wtf did I just read

  2. Posted by B. Bernanke | November 1, 2012 at 2:46 PM

    [youtube hWk6JcheLMU&hd=1 youtube]

  3. Posted by HungryIntern | November 1, 2012 at 2:55 PM

    Not sure about the start, but I like the conclusion.

    ~Tent Revivalism Historian

  4. Posted by Guest | November 1, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Bill Gross hotboxed his Lexus with Joe Biden and MC Hammer. That just happened.

  5. Posted by guest | November 1, 2012 at 3:41 PM

    El-Erian: How you uh, how you comin’ on that novel you’re working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you’re working on there? Your big novel you’ve been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.

  6. Posted by Peter Griffin | November 1, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    the seed of my stubby Shaleley

  7. Posted by VonSloneker | November 1, 2012 at 3:54 PM

    I'm lampin', I'm lampin', I'm cold, cold, lampin'

    – F. Flav

  8. Posted by Bejujular | November 1, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    Biraq Obummer, the Fresh Prince of Bill Ayers would be the natural choice of a (muslim) genie Flavor Flav.

    -Free Republic regular

  9. Posted by Mugatu | November 1, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    I feel like I'm taking crazy pills.

  10. Posted by Red Hooker | November 1, 2012 at 4:13 PM

    There's a boat on a tree on my house.

  11. Posted by Gas Anon | November 1, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    If Bill Gross wrote something interesting he'd be "Bill Engross".

  12. Posted by guest | November 2, 2012 at 12:07 PM

    must be one of the customers yachts. I sent mine down to south beach in late september