• 14 Nov 2012 at 12:44 PM

Goldman Sachs Changes 70 People’s Lives

The following employees successfully made it through the “vigorous cross-ruffing” process and were inducted into the partnership this morning, after receiving a congratulatory call from Lloyd and an extra special visit by Gary, wherein the chosen few got to stick their grundles in his face.

* Vivek Bantwal
* Heather Bellini
* Brian Bolster
* Jill Borst
* Michael Brandmeyer
* Jason H. Brauth
* Stuart Cash
* Alex Chi
* Kent Clark
* Richard Cormack
* Jack Daly
* Anne Marie B. Darling
* David Dase
* Olaf Diaz-Pintado
* Robert Drake-Brockman
* Alessandro Dusi
* Edward A. Emerson
* Antonio F. Esteves
* Pat Fels
* Pete Finn
* David Fishman
* Sheara Fredman
* Jacques Gabillon
* Francesco Garzarelli
* Nick Giovanni
* Brad Gross
* Anthony Gutman
* Leland Hensch
* Russell W. Horwitz
* Roy Joseph
* John Kim
* Marie Louise Kirk
* Hugh Lawson
* Scott Lebovitz
* Ericka Leslie
* Luca M. Lombardi
* John Mallory
* Joseph S. Mauro
* Charles M. McGarraugh
* Xavier C. Menguy
* Amol Naik
* Jo Natauri
* Una Neary
* Gregory G. Olafson
* Lisa Opoku
* Gerald Ouderkirk III
* Francesco Pascuzzi
* Anthony W. Pasquariello
* Huw Pill
* Dmitri Potishko
* Sean Rice
* Francois J. Rigou
* Scott M. Rofey
* Jeroen Rombouts
* Michael Ronen
* Jami Rubin
* Yann Samuelides
* Joshua S. Schiffrin
* David Schwimmer
* Gaurav Seth
* Michael Siegel
* Michael Smith
* Josh Struzziery III
* Damian Sutcliffe
* Michael Swell
* Ryan Thall
* Bobby Vedral
* Simon Watson
* Toby C. Watson
* Yoshihiko Yano

Goldman Sachs Announces New Partners [GS]
Goldman Sachs Names 70 Partners, Fewest as Public Company [Bloomberg]

60 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (60)

  1. Posted by The Chooser | November 14, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    "You are all descended from a long line of determined, resourceful, microscopic tadpoles– champions every one!"

  2. Posted by Copy paste quant | November 14, 2012 at 12:52 PM

    How could you miss Davi Schwimmer?

  3. Posted by guest | November 14, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    um, he's on the list and in the tag, but nice try.

  4. Posted by Friends quant | November 14, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    *David Schwimmer!!!!

  5. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 12:56 PM

    Partners? Gay marriage is legal in NYC?

    -BSD, Equities in Dallas

  6. Posted by Edmond_Dantes | November 14, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    Coolest parents on the list are the Clark's, who named their son Kent…

  7. Posted by D. Schwimmer | November 14, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    No one told me life was going to be this way. My job's a joke, I'm broke, my love life's D.O.A.

  8. Posted by Nostalgia | November 14, 2012 at 12:59 PM

    This isn't nearly as exciting as it used to be.

  9. Posted by GUest | November 14, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    So…much….grundle…so……. little…..time …..

  10. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 1:07 PM

    It’s all relative, some of us are ping-pong champions and quit and whine like a four year old who lost a shoe lace when thing get tough…And others hunker down and make partner.

    -Master of Puppets

  11. Posted by J Aniston | November 14, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    With the exception of being broke that was different from before?

  12. Posted by Herb Schmertz | November 14, 2012 at 1:12 PM

    Well said.

    - LB, Pastor of Muppets

  13. Posted by Warren | November 14, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    how my warrants looking today

  14. Posted by OpportunityCost | November 14, 2012 at 1:22 PM

    So your last name is "Cash" and you are a partner at Goldman Sachs. You, sir, have officially made it.

  15. Posted by agreatdaytothink | November 14, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    ….again with the men with hyphenated last names!!! Shouldn't the cross-ruffing automatically exclude them?

    - Guy who is pretty sure Bobby spray tans.

  16. Posted by Can't resist... | November 14, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    *clap clap clap clap*

  17. Posted by Happy go lucky | November 14, 2012 at 1:34 PM

    Lloyd's got quite a smile. Is he a jockey? or maybe an elf?

  18. Posted by UBS sucks | November 14, 2012 at 1:36 PM

    Looks like I didn't get on there, back to my shitty life at UBS

  19. Posted by Hank | November 14, 2012 at 1:37 PM

    Where the hell is Pablo Salami? He should be on that list!

  20. Posted by Put_Option | November 14, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    Stuart Cash… Not nearly as cool as Johnny Cash

  21. Posted by Other Michael Smith | November 14, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    What a letdown

  22. Posted by DingALing | November 14, 2012 at 1:38 PM

    Anne Marie B. Darling? More like Anne Marie B. Hustin'

  23. Posted by David Duchovny | November 14, 2012 at 1:41 PM

    Did someone say my name?

    - David Duchovny

  24. Posted by Relational Investors | November 14, 2012 at 1:42 PM

    Jack Daly any relation to John?

  25. Posted by TCB Crackers | November 14, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    Leland Hensch? The same Leland Hensch of Brandt/Leland?

  26. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  27. Posted by Lactating | November 14, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    you've got the clap?

  28. Posted by Lactating | November 14, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    Where is Zachary Kouwe! He's not on the list. There's no justice in this world.

  29. Posted by VonSloneker | November 14, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Vigorously cross-ruffing at Motel Pet with William Wegman in celebration.

    - D. Kneale

  30. Posted by VonSloneker | November 14, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    Darling, heartfelt congratulations.

    - Blackadder

  31. Posted by Incitatus | November 14, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Certainly not.
    -The English

  32. Posted by UBS HR | November 14, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Ummm ya…

    Could you stop by my office on the close today ?

  33. Posted by Steak | November 14, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Guess Leland couldnt sell the sizzle like he once thought

  34. Posted by Stalactating | November 14, 2012 at 2:01 PM

    Channing Tatum took his spot.

  35. Posted by Dang Leland | November 14, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    That's cause Leland goes out with clients with brown shoes and a black belt on!

  36. Posted by Lowly Assistant | November 14, 2012 at 2:06 PM
  37. Posted by Joey | November 14, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    are you always stuck in second gear?

  38. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 2:09 PM

    No he's just always stuck in second gear.

  39. Posted by Bonus Time | November 14, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    I'm thinking of a number between one and Gabillion….

  40. Posted by guest | November 14, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    What time are they conducting the ceremonial head shavings?

  41. Posted by CFAngry Bird | November 14, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    Oh my god, you guys are too much! I just spit iced tea all over my keyboard!

  42. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 2:48 PM

    How does a company that is no longer a partnership name people to the position of partner?

    - Guy who must be missing something here

  43. Posted by guest | November 14, 2012 at 3:04 PM

    GAAP: (Goldman Accepted Accounting Principles)

  44. Posted by DB Moments | November 14, 2012 at 3:11 PM

    Moment of silence for all the dwang the women on this list had to gobble.
    _
    _
    _
    _
    _
    Thank you. You may no go about your day.

  45. Posted by lucas | November 14, 2012 at 3:12 PM

    Seconded.
    - The Scotch-Irish

  46. Posted by guest | November 14, 2012 at 3:19 PM

    What time are they conducting the ceremonial head shavings?

  47. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    Heh, heh. Scrottum Mc Roffey…

  48. Posted by Peekay | November 14, 2012 at 5:48 PM
  49. Posted by Separate Entities | November 14, 2012 at 6:00 PM

    You are missing something here.

  50. Posted by guest | November 14, 2012 at 7:17 PM

    I appreciated it.

    - guy whose lone thumbs up won't make a dent in all those thumbs down

  51. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 8:46 PM

    Nope. Different first names.

    - Ancestry.com Quant

  52. Posted by UBS | November 14, 2012 at 8:55 PM

    What's your point? We still give earnings guidance.

  53. Posted by Cash Money Bitches | November 15, 2012 at 7:09 AM

    Way ahead of you.

    - Li Ka-Shing

  54. Posted by guest | November 15, 2012 at 7:47 AM

    There are women on this list? WTF are women doing on this list?

  55. Posted by Raj | November 15, 2012 at 8:21 AM

    what about Jugdeish Prakashandarandan

  56. Posted by Greg Palm | November 15, 2012 at 8:23 AM

    Gotta keep the sheisters in the diversity racket at bay.

  57. Posted by Aryanism | November 15, 2012 at 8:25 AM

    These two will have attractive children.

  58. Posted by Guest | November 15, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    Jack Daly was my M.O. in high school.
    And college.

  59. Posted by Scotch | November 15, 2012 at 12:18 PM

    thirded..fouthed umm er fuck it anyway

  60. Posted by Guest | November 15, 2012 at 11:16 PM

    Alex Chi looks like an Asian movie star if you've ever met him