Goldman Sachs Changes 70 People’s Lives

The following employees successfully made it through the “vigorous cross-ruffing” process and were inducted into the partnership this morning, after receiving a congratulatory call from Lloyd and an extra special visit by Gary, wherein the chosen few got to stick their grundles in his face.

* Vivek Bantwal
* Heather Bellini
* Brian Bolster
* Jill Borst
* Michael Brandmeyer
* Jason H. Brauth
* Stuart Cash
* Alex Chi
* Kent Clark
* Richard Cormack
* Jack Daly
* Anne Marie B. Darling
* David Dase
* Olaf Diaz-Pintado
* Robert Drake-Brockman
* Alessandro Dusi
* Edward A. Emerson
* Antonio F. Esteves
* Pat Fels
* Pete Finn
* David Fishman
* Sheara Fredman
* Jacques Gabillon
* Francesco Garzarelli
* Nick Giovanni
* Brad Gross
* Anthony Gutman
* Leland Hensch
* Russell W. Horwitz
* Roy Joseph
* John Kim
* Marie Louise Kirk
* Hugh Lawson
* Scott Lebovitz
* Ericka Leslie
* Luca M. Lombardi
* John Mallory
* Joseph S. Mauro
* Charles M. McGarraugh
* Xavier C. Menguy
* Amol Naik
* Jo Natauri
* Una Neary
* Gregory G. Olafson
* Lisa Opoku
* Gerald Ouderkirk III
* Francesco Pascuzzi
* Anthony W. Pasquariello
* Huw Pill
* Dmitri Potishko
* Sean Rice
* Francois J. Rigou
* Scott M. Rofey
* Jeroen Rombouts
* Michael Ronen
* Jami Rubin
* Yann Samuelides
* Joshua S. Schiffrin
* David Schwimmer
* Gaurav Seth
* Michael Siegel
* Michael Smith
* Josh Struzziery III
* Damian Sutcliffe
* Michael Swell
* Ryan Thall
* Bobby Vedral
* Simon Watson
* Toby C. Watson
* Yoshihiko Yano

Goldman Sachs Announces New Partners [GS]
Goldman Sachs Names 70 Partners, Fewest as Public Company [Bloomberg]

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60 Responses to “Goldman Sachs Changes 70 People’s Lives”

  1. The Chooser says:

    "You are all descended from a long line of determined, resourceful, microscopic tadpoles– champions every one!"

  2. Copy paste quant says:

    How could you miss Davi Schwimmer?

  3. Friends quant says:

    *David Schwimmer!!!!

  4. Guest says:

    Partners? Gay marriage is legal in NYC?

    -BSD, Equities in Dallas

  5. Edmond_Dantes says:

    Coolest parents on the list are the Clark's, who named their son Kent…

  6. D. Schwimmer says:

    No one told me life was going to be this way. My job's a joke, I'm broke, my love life's D.O.A.

  7. Nostalgia says:

    This isn't nearly as exciting as it used to be.

  8. GUest says:

    So…much….grundle…so……. little…..time …..

  9. Guest says:

    It’s all relative, some of us are ping-pong champions and quit and whine like a four year old who lost a shoe lace when thing get tough…And others hunker down and make partner.

    -Master of Puppets

  10. Warren says:

    how my warrants looking today

  11. OpportunityCost says:

    So your last name is "Cash" and you are a partner at Goldman Sachs. You, sir, have officially made it.

  12. agreatdaytothink says:

    ….again with the men with hyphenated last names!!! Shouldn't the cross-ruffing automatically exclude them?

    – Guy who is pretty sure Bobby spray tans.

  13. Happy go lucky says:

    Lloyd's got quite a smile. Is he a jockey? or maybe an elf?

  14. UBS sucks says:

    Looks like I didn't get on there, back to my shitty life at UBS

  15. Hank says:

    Where the hell is Pablo Salami? He should be on that list!

  16. Put_Option says:

    Stuart Cash… Not nearly as cool as Johnny Cash

  17. Other Michael Smith says:

    What a letdown

  18. DingALing says:

    Anne Marie B. Darling? More like Anne Marie B. Hustin'

  19. Relational Investors says:

    Jack Daly any relation to John?

  20. TCB Crackers says:

    Leland Hensch? The same Leland Hensch of Brandt/Leland?

  21. Guest says:

    Pics or it didn't happen.

  22. Lactating says:

    Where is Zachary Kouwe! He's not on the list. There's no justice in this world.

  23. VonSloneker says:

    Vigorously cross-ruffing at Motel Pet with William Wegman in celebration.

    – D. Kneale

  24. Bonus Time says:

    I'm thinking of a number between one and Gabillion….

  25. guest says:

    What time are they conducting the ceremonial head shavings?

  26. CFAngry Bird says:

    Oh my god, you guys are too much! I just spit iced tea all over my keyboard!

  27. Guest says:

    How does a company that is no longer a partnership name people to the position of partner?

    – Guy who must be missing something here

  28. DB Moments says:

    Moment of silence for all the dwang the women on this list had to gobble.
    Thank you. You may no go about your day.

  29. guest says:

    What time are they conducting the ceremonial head shavings?

  30. Guest says:

    Heh, heh. Scrottum Mc Roffey…

  31. Guest says:

    Jack Daly was my M.O. in high school.
    And college.

  32. Guest says:

    Alex Chi looks like an Asian movie star if you've ever met him