Harvard Business School Alum Has A 4-Point Plan For Fixing The Election Process In The United States

On November 6, 2012, as the results of the presidential election rolled in, a member of the Harvard Business School Class of 2010 considered ending it all. “The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony,” he wrote his fellow classmates yesterday. Sure, he had a lot to live for: friends, family, the earthly delights afforded to him by living in Southern California (“surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere”), as well as a new company and all that came with it (relationships with celebrities that straddle the line between “friend and service provider,” as well as invites to “the VMAs and private concerts in Vegas”). But he also had a lot of reasons to be good and angry at the world, including but not limited to: the state of California being “filled with so many hippie liberals” he just might snap and in doing so “choke out a street bum,” people who “sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed,” and, most vexingly, the reelection of Barack Obama.

And while he did not in fact end up leaping from his penthouse balcony apartment that night, make no mistake, he was and is exceedingly pissed about the direction this country is going, which is due south on the Pacific Coast Highway right straight to hell. So instead, he went to bed, got up, sat down at his computer and channeled his anger into something productive: a list of suggestions for how we can get America back on track and in four years, wrest it from the hands of the people holding it hostage, like forcing candidates to use bullet points and telling the commies who don’t believe in capitalism to pack their shit because in 20 minutes they’re going to be blindfolded and stuffed into the back of a Ford Econoline van with all the other non-contributing zeroes who don’t understand how much of a privilege it is to live in the greatest country in the world and shipped off to a place where their views will be tolerated, only then finding out what it’s really like to suffer and perhaps finally understand how they’ve destroyed the United States of America with their leftist, hippie, commie/socialist/teat sucking agendas.

First, though, some life updates, because it really has been too long.

From: reacted at

Date: Mon, Nov 26, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Subject: MBA Class of 2010 Section A: I know you missed me


Dear A-Team,

It has been a while since I have connected with many of you, figured it was time to reach out. Big picture, life has been an incredible roller coaster since leaving HBS. I moved to LA, worked in PE, quit, then started a company with a good buddy from high school. Needless to say there has not been a dull moment since Aug 2010, so I will break this down into 4 streams of consciousness: LA, PE, [redacted’s company], and conclude with a good old fashioned [redacted] rant (I know all of you have missed them).

Perhaps the greatest and worst place on Earth (besides Vegas). It is magical in so many ways, yet terrible in others. On the plus side, the weather is unreal, the access to stuff to do is phenomenal, and overall quality of life really cannot be beat. I know all the folks in NYC will disagree, but seriously, you do not know what you are missing. Visiting is one thing, living here is another. The only way I am leaving SoCal is if I get dragged out kicking and screaming. Surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere, it is amazing. On the other side of that coin, this place is filled with so many hippie liberals, I think I might snap. The blood runs blue here and I cannot tell you how frustrating it is that people sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed. I hope this is more of a California problem, but it is like living in a small socialist sect within a capitalistic country. Drives me nuts. One day on the news, you may hear a headline to the tune of, “Harvard MBA chokes out a street bum asking for weed; sentenced to 4 yrs imprisonment”.

Technically mezz investing, but close enough for this discussion. On the surface, it was great to study a ton of businesses immediately after HBS. Was similar to doing cases again, except the amount of work that was required increased 10x. [redacted’s first post-HBS employer] is a great firm, I really enjoyed working with them. We made 7 investments while I was there, and lucky for me, I got one to close too. Gained a new appreciation for lawyers and legal help, what it takes to fully commit large sums of money, and actually learned how to model. I did not think I would ever need it again, but once [redacted’s partner] and I decided to expand [redacted’s company], it certainly added credibility as we talk with investors (more on this later). Ultimately, working 80 to 100hr weeks at my current comp level no longer seemed appealing to me and I decided to trade pay for lifestyle (or so I thought).

[Redacted’s company]:
In a fairly random chain of events, a good buddy of mine from high school happened to move to LA about the same time I was getting frustrated with mezz. We were always car guys growing up, so the only thing that made sense to us was to start a company involving cars. It turned into becoming a private dealer and broker for the entertainment industry. Essentially, we buy, sell, import, export, customize, supply cars for movies/videos, etc. for up and coming celebs as well as some real celebs. Lots of fun, but geez, way more work than we ever anticipated. Never again will I question the difficulty of being an entrepreneur or starting a company from scratch. You end up living, working, and breathing the company; during both the good and bad times. Our business is a little different because interacting with some of these celebs forces us to walk a fine line between friend and service provider, but overall a cool thing to do. Salary became a funny term for us: (1) we do not get paid unless we earn a new client, but (2) getting invited to the VMAs or a private concert in Vegas seems to be an acceptable trade for services and value. Really makes us hustle and be flexible when considering payment for services rendered. I suppose I owe [some of redacted’s inspirations] a shoutout here, I remember them saying something to the effect of it being lonely starting your own company. That could not be more true. The countless hours late at night figuring stuff out, sifting through docs, evaluating your financial position, determining the best course for the next day (let alone the next week or month), making decisions (basically alone) without clear data one way or the other, wow, it consumes your life. I laugh when I write this, but every problem is your problem. And the only way it gets solved is if you do it yourself. Yes, that sounds simplistic and intuitive, but actually doing it is entirely different. It is like a neverending To Do list that prevents you from doing productive work, like earning customers and getting paid. Speaking of getting paid, I am proud to report that after our first 6 mos, we had our first two consecutive months in the black. Hopefully we will not dip back into the red.

And this is hilarious (my job in a nutshell): Badger car salesman.

We are fundraising to expand the company at the moment. We want to change the retail experience for buying a car (as well as other luxury goods) and think we have a pretty good concept that could be franchise-able. If any of you want to know more, let me know and I will forward our pitch deck and investment memorandum. And those of you rock stars that have already fundraised since HBS, would appreciate any insight or guidance you have. [Redacted’s partner] and I have never done it, thus your help is greatly

[Redacted] and his $0.02:
All of you know my love affair for maps so I took the liberty of selecting a relevant one (link here) and ranting about it. This is where the email will come to a screeching halt as I will undoubted offend the bulk of you with my following words:

WTF happened???!!! How did we, as a country, elect Barack Obama again??

The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony as the election results were filtering in. I continually stared at the electoral map and could not shake the notion that every high income / high standard of education / high cost of living locale went blue (except Texas). Has the voting population lost their mind? Has every tax payer lost their mind? Are there less educated people in the country versus 4 years ago? Have we turned into the United States of California? Was it the minority vote or the womens issues? Really? Was it the messenger (Romney)? Was it voter fraud? Will Republicans ever out vote the entitlement state? How does it make logical or rational sense to foster a system of handouts? Do Americans not observe what is happening across the Atlantic Ocean or listen to the most basic world economic news?

In complete disgust, I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and started writing down ways to improve the situation. I suggest the following:

1) Main Stream Media: Implement a code of ethics or accountability for political journalists, news outlets, and mass distributors of media. The garbage flowing out of both sides needs to stop as well as a focus on the truth needs to come to the forefront. Apparently, the average American believes what subsidized media outlets are spewing forth. That has to stop (the subsidization of media outlets and biased news delivery).

2) Voting Restrictions: If you do not pay taxes, you should NOT be allowed to vote. It blows my mind that an individual can influence the outcome of national policy, yet not be on the hook for the results.

3) Candidate Transparency Requirements: Candidates must distill their platform into 4 to 6 bullet points and then post their voting/legislative record with it. Have it published at every major media outlet. We can cut the crap on interpretations and let an entity fact check the bullet points.

4) Let Capitalism work: The brainpower of those involved will ultimately find its way back to society if a business fails. And if you do not believe in Capitalism, then choose a different place to live. There are several failing nation states around the world, just pick one. This country is not for everybody. I believe it is a privilege to be here.

Anyway, I miss all of you and hope your lives post-HBS are everything you hoped they would be. If they are not, it is never too late to make a change. My door is always open, drop by or give me
a call anytime.

Rock on,


This e-mail reflects the views of the sender and not those of Harvard Business School or its affiliates. It was sent to MBA2010 alumni using the Harvard Business School “E-mail Your Classmates Web Application.” ( [] is not a listserv e-mail account. To send mail to your classmates you must use the aforementioned web page. If you have questions or concerns, please contact Alumni Relations at

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94 Responses to “Harvard Business School Alum Has A 4-Point Plan For Fixing The Election Process In The United States”

  1. Guest says:

    This guy sounds like he has zero friends.

  2. pmco says:

    I once too was a provider for my friends. That's how I got herpes!

  3. VonSloneker says:

    No representation without taxation…it moved.

  4. Yawn says:

    News flash: Self-absorbed Harvard grad learns that work is hard.

  5. guest says:

    The filth that is LA has already infected this one. He exhibits every known symptom of what I like to call LA-douchebaggery: talking about how great the weather is there, mentioning surfing even though he probably has done it 5 times max, saying he practically works with celebrities, using his car (in this case car-business) as a status symbol, and finally, saying "at least its not as bad as Las Vegas."

  6. Spicolli says:

    You dick!

  7. Members of Section A says:

    Too long, didn't read.

  8. Bejujular says:

    Dear A-Team,

    I want your van for Christmas. I've been very good and haven't taken any handouts.

    -Redacted, Penthouse apartment, SoCal

  9. Im_a_Dude says:

    I couldn't even get through the email. i have enough shit emails i have to read every day, don't need another

  10. Whitey says:

    Just stop electing Negroes……then the problem solves itself

  11. Just jump already says:

    This country is lucky to have such a selfless patriot within its borders. The story of a HBS grad who moves to LA and roughs it in his penthouse while desperately trying to fit into Hollywood is just so touching.

  12. guest says:

    Tell me more about how mezzanine lending is "close enough" to PE.

  13. OWS says:

    He's obviously just another greedy banker

  14. H. Arvard says:

    mitt romney ghostwrote the email

  15. guesty says:

    What this country needs is poll taxes! Amirite, brah?!

  16. PermaGuestII says:

    Dear Mexico:

    Sorry we took California away from you. You can have it back now.

    -The rest of the United States

    PS: I'm afraid we took all the gold.

  17. Guest says:

    I have never lived in or visited LA and hence never fully understood the depth of hatred for the place conveyed to me by fellow New Yorkers. I get it now.

    – mind blown

  18. Laxbro says:

    Fact: anyone that uses the word "babes" never got laid in high school or college. Hot babes everywhere… except in his sick penthouse.

  19. Mr. T says:

    I pity the fool who sent me this letter!

  20. Gundlach says:

    "…The only way I am leaving SoCal is if I get dragged out kicking and screaming…"

    Do me next.

    Jeff, King of Bonds

  21. Nils Coqauvin says:

    Based on the most cursory of internet research, I'd say this is the guy:

  22. Conan The Destoyer says:

    LA is a wort on CA's backside.

    -Guy from San Diego who's pissed that people from outside CA think everyone here is like this typical dickhead turd living in Los Angeles.

  23. Credit where its due says:

    Loved the badger car salesman link. It was the only redeeming quality of the entire e-mail.

  24. guesticle says:

    Using a Harvard MBA to enter an industry littered with HS dropouts is the NKI

  25. tool says:

    Under my plan, illiegal aliens who pay sales tax get a vote!

  26. Jay Leno says:

    Excellent work….after perusing the offerings on their site I am certain that every last car is a repo.

  27. m. McConnell says:

    Anybody know if the first season of honey boo boo will be out on DVD before Christmas?

    — the turtle

  28. Guest says:

    Does anyone have first year, used-car salesman bonus numbers?

  29. Guest says:

    I personally don't care for deleting the posts that contain identifying info. If you're really proud enough of that email that you deem it appropriate to send to your entire HBS list, you should be ok with it getting out of that already large circle. If you are ashamed of not knowing what PE is or soliciting your peers for money, don't send it in the first place.

  30. guest says:

    I wonder if their investor presentation is something like this:

  31. Haters says: — This 12-person Mezz debt firm is practically the same as KKR.

  32. davidrusso says:

    so I'm just gonna punch myself in the nuts in the hopes that will make amends on behalf of HBS grads for this assclown…

  33. fellow hbs 2010 grad says:

    i had a tax class with this guy and i distinctly recall wondering how he got accepted into hbs. i didn't wonder because of his political leanings (never really knew he felt so passionately about politics), but rather because of his total ineptness at some of the topics covered in class. he barely spoke in class and when he did his responses were inarticulate and off-topic.

    so, hopefully this allows you all to contextualize his rant. he doesn't really have a track record of fully grasping the issues at hand. sad face for the impact he has on the brand equity of my degree.

  34. Zod says:

    Bess has a way with words. Seems like it’s about time she moved on to bigger and better things.

  35. Blurp says:

    Didn't go to HBS, but it definitely has an established/prestigious brand.

  36. davidrusso says:

    ^ there's always a few in each class, and they are generally the ones who miraculously squeaked in, that exhibit an almost maniacal post graduation enthusiasm and take that "we are supposed to change the world" seriously.

  37. ChrisEigeman says:

    This article is spot-on — couldn't agree more.

  38. Tom Foolery says:

    Of course i agree- but the reasons why 1-4 will never happen are all attached to the end of the Constitution:

    1) 1st amendment
    2) 14th amendment
    3) 1st amendment
    4) 1st amendment

  39. Guest A says:

    So, just to be clear, any ex-military personnel wounded in combat, living off disability benefits and not paying taxes… do not get to vote? I see nothing wrong with this.

    – Sarcastic guy who see's a LOT of things wrong with this

  40. Wherecareersgotodie says:

    How is Mezz Investing (aka "12 and 2") akin to PE (earning "2 and 20")? I thought Mezz Investing was where careers went to die?

  41. yabba dabba says:

    Whats amazing is that this guy thinks he has anything to offer. Ine year as an analyst in an asset manger and six months setting up a car rental agency. Next stop Berkshire Hathaway or Blackstone CEO ?
    Why nit he did a case study where he solved Tyson Foods problems overnight and without having read more than the summary notes. Whats sad is there 10000 of him floating round polluting our airspace

  42. Ken says:

    So to slightly rephrase their 4 points:
    1.) Do away with freedom of speech.
    2.) Bring back poll taxes.
    3.) ????????? Party platforms and voting records of candidates are already a matter of public record. And if they are so important then how did Barry get elected after consistently voting "present" as a state rep?
    4.) Bring back capitalism? Good idea but what exactly does it have to do with elections? And how many members of the Harvard business school class of 2010 are currently working at companies which got TARP funds? Some transparency on that number would be very enlightening.

  43. :: says:

    I'm an attractive woman. Technically a tranny, but close enough for this discussion

  44. Alexsey Vayner says:

    Did John Fitzgerald Page move to L.A.?

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