On November 6, 2012, as the results of the presidential election rolled in, a member of the Harvard Business School Class of 2010 considered ending it all. “The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony,” he wrote his fellow classmates yesterday. Sure, he had a lot to live for: friends, family, the earthly delights afforded to him by living in Southern California (“surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere”), as well as a new company and all that came with it (relationships with celebrities that straddle the line between “friend and service provider,” as well as invites to “the VMAs and private concerts in Vegas”). But he also had a lot of reasons to be good and angry at the world, including but not limited to: the state of California being “filled with so many hippie liberals” he just might snap and in doing so “choke out a street bum,” people who “sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed,” and, most vexingly, the reelection of Barack Obama.

And while he did not in fact end up leaping from his penthouse balcony apartment that night, make no mistake, he was and is exceedingly pissed about the direction this country is going, which is due south on the Pacific Coast Highway right straight to hell. So instead, he went to bed, got up, sat down at his computer and channeled his anger into something productive: a list of suggestions for how we can get America back on track and in four years, wrest it from the hands of the people holding it hostage, like forcing candidates to use bullet points and telling the commies who don’t believe in capitalism to pack their shit because in 20 minutes they’re going to be blindfolded and stuffed into the back of a Ford Econoline van with all the other non-contributing zeroes who don’t understand how much of a privilege it is to live in the greatest country in the world and shipped off to a place where their views will be tolerated, only then finding out what it’s really like to suffer and perhaps finally understand how they’ve destroyed the United States of America with their leftist, hippie, commie/socialist/teat sucking agendas.

First, though, some life updates, because it really has been too long.

From: reacted at mba2010.hbs.edu

Date: Mon, Nov 26, 2012 at 4:00 PM

Subject: MBA Class of 2010 Section A: I know you missed me

To: MBA2010@hbs.edu

Dear A-Team,

It has been a while since I have connected with many of you, figured it was time to reach out. Big picture, life has been an incredible roller coaster since leaving HBS. I moved to LA, worked in PE, quit, then started a company with a good buddy from high school. Needless to say there has not been a dull moment since Aug 2010, so I will break this down into 4 streams of consciousness: LA, PE, [redacted's company], and conclude with a good old fashioned [redacted] rant (I know all of you have missed them).

LA:
Perhaps the greatest and worst place on Earth (besides Vegas). It is magical in so many ways, yet terrible in others. On the plus side, the weather is unreal, the access to stuff to do is phenomenal, and overall quality of life really cannot be beat. I know all the folks in NYC will disagree, but seriously, you do not know what you are missing. Visiting is one thing, living here is another. The only way I am leaving SoCal is if I get dragged out kicking and screaming. Surfing, mountains, 78 degree sunshine, and hot babes everywhere, it is amazing. On the other side of that coin, this place is filled with so many hippie liberals, I think I might snap. The blood runs blue here and I cannot tell you how frustrating it is that people sit around with their hand out and expect to be fed. I hope this is more of a California problem, but it is like living in a small socialist sect within a capitalistic country. Drives me nuts. One day on the news, you may hear a headline to the tune of, “Harvard MBA chokes out a street bum asking for weed; sentenced to 4 yrs imprisonment”.

PE:
Technically mezz investing, but close enough for this discussion. On the surface, it was great to study a ton of businesses immediately after HBS. Was similar to doing cases again, except the amount of work that was required increased 10x. [redacted's first post-HBS employer] is a great firm, I really enjoyed working with them. We made 7 investments while I was there, and lucky for me, I got one to close too. Gained a new appreciation for lawyers and legal help, what it takes to fully commit large sums of money, and actually learned how to model. I did not think I would ever need it again, but once [redacted's partner] and I decided to expand [redacted's company], it certainly added credibility as we talk with investors (more on this later). Ultimately, working 80 to 100hr weeks at my current comp level no longer seemed appealing to me and I decided to trade pay for lifestyle (or so I thought).

[Redacted's company]:
In a fairly random chain of events, a good buddy of mine from high school happened to move to LA about the same time I was getting frustrated with mezz. We were always car guys growing up, so the only thing that made sense to us was to start a company involving cars. It turned into becoming a private dealer and broker for the entertainment industry. Essentially, we buy, sell, import, export, customize, supply cars for movies/videos, etc. for up and coming celebs as well as some real celebs. Lots of fun, but geez, way more work than we ever anticipated. Never again will I question the difficulty of being an entrepreneur or starting a company from scratch. You end up living, working, and breathing the company; during both the good and bad times. Our business is a little different because interacting with some of these celebs forces us to walk a fine line between friend and service provider, but overall a cool thing to do. Salary became a funny term for us: (1) we do not get paid unless we earn a new client, but (2) getting invited to the VMAs or a private concert in Vegas seems to be an acceptable trade for services and value. Really makes us hustle and be flexible when considering payment for services rendered. I suppose I owe [some of redacted's inspirations] a shoutout here, I remember them saying something to the effect of it being lonely starting your own company. That could not be more true. The countless hours late at night figuring stuff out, sifting through docs, evaluating your financial position, determining the best course for the next day (let alone the next week or month), making decisions (basically alone) without clear data one way or the other, wow, it consumes your life. I laugh when I write this, but every problem is your problem. And the only way it gets solved is if you do it yourself. Yes, that sounds simplistic and intuitive, but actually doing it is entirely different. It is like a neverending To Do list that prevents you from doing productive work, like earning customers and getting paid. Speaking of getting paid, I am proud to report that after our first 6 mos, we had our first two consecutive months in the black. Hopefully we will not dip back into the red.

And this is hilarious (my job in a nutshell): Badger car salesman.

We are fundraising to expand the company at the moment. We want to change the retail experience for buying a car (as well as other luxury goods) and think we have a pretty good concept that could be franchise-able. If any of you want to know more, let me know and I will forward our pitch deck and investment memorandum. And those of you rock stars that have already fundraised since HBS, would appreciate any insight or guidance you have. [Redacted's partner] and I have never done it, thus your help is greatly
appreciated.

[Redacted] and his $0.02:
All of you know my love affair for maps so I took the liberty of selecting a relevant one (link here) and ranting about it. This is where the email will come to a screeching halt as I will undoubted offend the bulk of you with my following words:

WTF happened???!!! How did we, as a country, elect Barack Obama again??

The thought crossed my mind to jump off my penthouse apartment balcony as the election results were filtering in. I continually stared at the electoral map and could not shake the notion that every high income / high standard of education / high cost of living locale went blue (except Texas). Has the voting population lost their mind? Has every tax payer lost their mind? Are there less educated people in the country versus 4 years ago? Have we turned into the United States of California? Was it the minority vote or the womens issues? Really? Was it the messenger (Romney)? Was it voter fraud? Will Republicans ever out vote the entitlement state? How does it make logical or rational sense to foster a system of handouts? Do Americans not observe what is happening across the Atlantic Ocean or listen to the most basic world economic news?

In complete disgust, I went to bed. The next morning, I woke up and started writing down ways to improve the situation. I suggest the following:

1) Main Stream Media: Implement a code of ethics or accountability for political journalists, news outlets, and mass distributors of media. The garbage flowing out of both sides needs to stop as well as a focus on the truth needs to come to the forefront. Apparently, the average American believes what subsidized media outlets are spewing forth. That has to stop (the subsidization of media outlets and biased news delivery).

2) Voting Restrictions: If you do not pay taxes, you should NOT be allowed to vote. It blows my mind that an individual can influence the outcome of national policy, yet not be on the hook for the results.

3) Candidate Transparency Requirements: Candidates must distill their platform into 4 to 6 bullet points and then post their voting/legislative record with it. Have it published at every major media outlet. We can cut the crap on interpretations and let an entity fact check the bullet points.

4) Let Capitalism work: The brainpower of those involved will ultimately find its way back to society if a business fails. And if you do not believe in Capitalism, then choose a different place to live. There are several failing nation states around the world, just pick one. This country is not for everybody. I believe it is a privilege to be here.

Anyway, I miss all of you and hope your lives post-HBS are everything you hoped they would be. If they are not, it is never too late to make a change. My door is always open, drop by or give me
a call anytime.

Rock on,
[redacted]

__________________________________

This e-mail reflects the views of the sender and not those of Harvard Business School or its affiliates. It was sent to MBA2010 alumni using the Harvard Business School “E-mail Your Classmates Web Application.” (http://apps.alumni.hbs.edu/emailer/alumni/criteria.do). [MBA2010@hbs.edu] is not a listserv e-mail account. To send mail to your classmates you must use the aforementioned web page. If you have questions or concerns, please contact Alumni Relations at alumni_relations@hbs.edu.

97 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (97)

  1. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    This guy sounds like he has zero friends.

  2. Posted by pmco | November 27, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    I once too was a provider for my friends. That's how I got herpes!

  3. Posted by VonSloneker | November 27, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    No representation without taxation…it moved.

  4. Posted by Yawn | November 27, 2012 at 11:11 AM

    News flash: Self-absorbed Harvard grad learns that work is hard.

  5. Posted by guest | November 27, 2012 at 11:15 AM

    The filth that is LA has already infected this one. He exhibits every known symptom of what I like to call LA-douchebaggery: talking about how great the weather is there, mentioning surfing even though he probably has done it 5 times max, saying he practically works with celebrities, using his car (in this case car-business) as a status symbol, and finally, saying "at least its not as bad as Las Vegas."

  6. Posted by jokeseeker | November 27, 2012 at 11:19 AM

    On a serious note, you probably have never worked harder than the author had and never started a business.

  7. Posted by Spicolli | November 27, 2012 at 11:19 AM

    You dick!

  8. Posted by Members of Section A | November 27, 2012 at 11:22 AM

    Too long, didn't read.

  9. Posted by Bejujular | November 27, 2012 at 11:24 AM

    Dear A-Team,

    I want your van for Christmas. I've been very good and haven't taken any handouts.

    -Redacted, Penthouse apartment, SoCal

  10. Posted by Im_a_Dude | November 27, 2012 at 11:26 AM

    I couldn't even get through the email. i have enough shit emails i have to read every day, don't need another

  11. Posted by Whitey | November 27, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    Just stop electing Negroes……then the problem solves itself

  12. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 11:35 AM

    You're not serious.

  13. Posted by Just jump already | November 27, 2012 at 11:38 AM

    This country is lucky to have such a selfless patriot within its borders. The story of a HBS grad who moves to LA and roughs it in his penthouse while desperately trying to fit into Hollywood is just so touching.

  14. Posted by guest | November 27, 2012 at 11:38 AM

    Tell me more about how mezzanine lending is "close enough" to PE.

  15. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    say hi to the DB censor for me

  16. Posted by CFA > MBA > LA | November 27, 2012 at 11:46 AM

    Examine your motives

  17. Posted by Yawn | November 27, 2012 at 11:53 AM

    Yes, he's a real inspiration to me – what with working in PE (well, mezz technically) for 1 year and closing 1 deal and then quitting because it was too hard but nevertheless trumpeting his vast experience…PLRB.

    – guy who's closed more than 1 transaction

  18. Posted by OWS | November 27, 2012 at 12:03 PM

    He's obviously just another greedy banker

  19. Posted by H. Arvard | November 27, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    mitt romney ghostwrote the email

  20. Posted by Guesticle | November 27, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    Because he is too inexperienced (dumb) to know that mezz lending is generally not "close enough" to be considered PE? BTW, neither is close to being a "banker," but I wouldn't expect you to know that since there are no finance books in the "People's Library."

  21. Posted by guesty | November 27, 2012 at 12:11 PM

    What this country needs is poll taxes! Amirite, brah?!

  22. Posted by facepalm | November 27, 2012 at 12:21 PM

    Thanks for taking the time from your busy schedule to post a comment though.

  23. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 27, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    Also on a serious note, I take it you *are* the author.

  24. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 27, 2012 at 12:25 PM

    Dear Mexico:

    Sorry we took California away from you. You can have it back now.

    -The rest of the United States

    PS: I'm afraid we took all the gold.

  25. Posted by tedbinger | November 27, 2012 at 12:32 PM

    Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn mezzanine borrowers so the PE investors don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

  26. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 27, 2012 at 12:51 PM

    Well they both involve giving money to people…

  27. Posted by Little Fritz | November 27, 2012 at 12:57 PM

    Except the Acapulco variety, which is still around..

  28. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 1:13 PM

    I have never lived in or visited LA and hence never fully understood the depth of hatred for the place conveyed to me by fellow New Yorkers. I get it now.

    – mind blown

  29. Posted by Laxbro | November 27, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Fact: anyone that uses the word "babes" never got laid in high school or college. Hot babes everywhere… except in his sick penthouse.

  30. Posted by Mr. T | November 27, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    I pity the fool who sent me this letter!

  31. Posted by Gundlach | November 27, 2012 at 1:27 PM

    "…The only way I am leaving SoCal is if I get dragged out kicking and screaming…"

    Do me next.

    Jeff, King of Bonds

  32. Posted by Guest and Beans | November 27, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    I bought my cat a california kitty condo for xmas.

  33. Posted by SO LA haha | November 27, 2012 at 1:36 PM

    What are Intrade's odds this guy got fat injected into his lips?

  34. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 1:40 PM

    How does everyone in LA drive an $80,000 car yet appears to be a jobless skateboarder during the workday?

  35. Posted by Towbin | November 27, 2012 at 1:42 PM

    Hey! It's Chopper here at Towbin Dodge! Come down and look at the all new 2013 Dodge Avenger starting at $17,999. That's Towbin Dodge, #1 Dodge Dealer in the World!

    Chopper, King of Cars

  36. Posted by Blanket | November 27, 2012 at 1:48 PM

    HE HE! Jamona!

    Michael, King of Pop

  37. Posted by Chris Biedrzycki | November 27, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    Not cool brah

  38. Posted by Nils Coqauvin | November 27, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Based on the most cursory of internet research, I'd say this is the guy: http://www.seventhwing.com/pages/about-us

  39. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Said Chris's mirror

  40. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    Pls advise where you purchased. Thx

    – Villanova MBA

  41. Posted by Conan The Destoyer | November 27, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    LA is a wort on CA's backside.

    -Guy from San Diego who's pissed that people from outside CA think everyone here is like this typical dickhead turd living in Los Angeles.

  42. Posted by Credit where its due | November 27, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Loved the badger car salesman link. It was the only redeeming quality of the entire e-mail.

  43. Posted by Guest and Beans | November 27, 2012 at 2:02 PM

    Petsmart

  44. Posted by Shauna | November 27, 2012 at 2:10 PM

    TO

  45. Posted by guesticle | November 27, 2012 at 2:10 PM

    Using a Harvard MBA to enter an industry littered with HS dropouts is the NKI

  46. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 2:31 PM

    TIme-zone difference.

  47. Posted by tool | November 27, 2012 at 2:51 PM

    Under my plan, illiegal aliens who pay sales tax get a vote!

  48. Posted by elvis | November 27, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    "cilla, bring me some more of those orange painkillers.

    Elvis, The King.

  49. Posted by Jay Leno | November 27, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Excellent work….after perusing the offerings on their site I am certain that every last car is a repo.

  50. Posted by m. McConnell | November 27, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    Anybody know if the first season of honey boo boo will be out on DVD before Christmas?

    — the turtle

  51. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    Does anyone have first year, used-car salesman bonus numbers?

  52. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 3:43 PM

    I personally don't care for deleting the posts that contain identifying info. If you're really proud enough of that email that you deem it appropriate to send to your entire HBS list, you should be ok with it getting out of that already large circle. If you are ashamed of not knowing what PE is or soliciting your peers for money, don't send it in the first place.

  53. Posted by guest | November 27, 2012 at 3:44 PM

    I wonder if their investor presentation is something like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciS914MaDl8

  54. Posted by guest | November 27, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Slow down, sparky. I think he was being sarcastic.

  55. Posted by Anihilist | November 27, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Your attempt at humor gave me cancer. Thanks dick.

  56. Posted by Haters | November 27, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    http://www.newstonecapital.com/index.html — This 12-person Mezz debt firm is practically the same as KKR.

  57. Posted by davidrusso | November 27, 2012 at 4:33 PM

    so I'm just gonna punch myself in the nuts in the hopes that will make amends on behalf of HBS grads for this assclown…

  58. Posted by H. Arvard | November 27, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    humor? i was being serious jackass

  59. Posted by guest | November 27, 2012 at 4:45 PM

    You're forgetting about a comparative advantage of being a "car guy" growing up?

  60. Posted by broseph | November 27, 2012 at 4:54 PM

    I can make the minimum payment….What could possibly go wrong?

    -most Americans

  61. Posted by guest | November 27, 2012 at 4:56 PM

    Romney did "real" PE

  62. Posted by Mexi_Cant | November 27, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    ???

  63. Posted by Charlotte | November 27, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    ES

  64. Posted by fellow hbs 2010 grad | November 27, 2012 at 8:39 PM

    i had a tax class with this guy and i distinctly recall wondering how he got accepted into hbs. i didn't wonder because of his political leanings (never really knew he felt so passionately about politics), but rather because of his total ineptness at some of the topics covered in class. he barely spoke in class and when he did his responses were inarticulate and off-topic.

    so, hopefully this allows you all to contextualize his rant. he doesn't really have a track record of fully grasping the issues at hand. sad face for the impact he has on the brand equity of my degree.

  65. Posted by Zod | November 27, 2012 at 9:06 PM

    Bess has a way with words. Seems like it’s about time she moved on to bigger and better things.

  66. Posted by Guest | November 27, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    I'll take Botany for 500

  67. Posted by Blurp | November 27, 2012 at 10:24 PM

    Didn't go to HBS, but it definitely has an established/prestigious brand.

  68. Posted by guest | November 28, 2012 at 12:23 AM

    ROCK ON!

  69. Posted by davidrusso | November 28, 2012 at 7:41 AM

    ^ there's always a few in each class, and they are generally the ones who miraculously squeaked in, that exhibit an almost maniacal post graduation enthusiasm and take that "we are supposed to change the world" seriously.

  70. Posted by ChrisEigeman | November 28, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    This article is spot-on — couldn't agree more.

  71. Posted by fukwit | November 28, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    What about semi-literate citizens?

  72. Posted by Came, Bridged | November 28, 2012 at 9:53 AM

    Cool story bro. Is "ineptness" anything like ineptitude, except not in english?

  73. Posted by Tom Foolery | November 28, 2012 at 12:56 PM

    Of course i agree- but the reasons why 1-4 will never happen are all attached to the end of the Constitution:

    1) 1st amendment
    2) 14th amendment
    3) 1st amendment
    4) 1st amendment

  74. Posted by guest | November 28, 2012 at 1:14 PM

    It does actually…and literacy tests too. Just because an idea was abused in the 1870s doesn't make it a bad idea.

    -Not a racist, not a guilty white liberal either

  75. Posted by mckayla maroney ... | November 28, 2012 at 2:08 PM

    is not impressed with hbs 2010 graduates

  76. Posted by FinkNottle | November 28, 2012 at 4:59 PM

    Prestigious enough for mezz…

  77. Posted by guest | November 28, 2012 at 6:19 PM

    ha. english is for, like, liberal arts majors and stuff.

  78. Posted by Guest A | November 28, 2012 at 6:44 PM

    So, just to be clear, any ex-military personnel wounded in combat, living off disability benefits and not paying taxes… do not get to vote? I see nothing wrong with this.

    – Sarcastic guy who see's a LOT of things wrong with this

  79. Posted by Wherecareersgotodie | November 28, 2012 at 7:29 PM

    How is Mezz Investing (aka "12 and 2") akin to PE (earning "2 and 20")? I thought Mezz Investing was where careers went to die?

  80. Posted by yabba dabba | November 28, 2012 at 9:42 PM

    Whats amazing is that this guy thinks he has anything to offer. Ine year as an analyst in an asset manger and six months setting up a car rental agency. Next stop Berkshire Hathaway or Blackstone CEO ?
    Why nit he did a case study where he solved Tyson Foods problems overnight and without having read more than the summary notes. Whats sad is there 10000 of him floating round polluting our airspace

  81. Posted by Ken | November 28, 2012 at 11:45 PM

    So to slightly rephrase their 4 points:
    1.) Do away with freedom of speech.
    2.) Bring back poll taxes.
    3.) ????????? Party platforms and voting records of candidates are already a matter of public record. And if they are so important then how did Barry get elected after consistently voting "present" as a state rep?
    4.) Bring back capitalism? Good idea but what exactly does it have to do with elections? And how many members of the Harvard business school class of 2010 are currently working at companies which got TARP funds? Some transparency on that number would be very enlightening.

  82. Posted by :: | November 29, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    I'm an attractive woman. Technically a tranny, but close enough for this discussion

  83. Posted by Alexsey Vayner | November 29, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    Did John Fitzgerald Page move to L.A.?

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