• 14 Nov 2012 at 2:03 PM

Lock Up Your Hooker Wives

Attention, citizens of the world: if your wife is a hooker, you, as of this morning, have a problem. Yann Samuelides, a man known for laying down a substantial amount of money to convince a working gal to leave her husband for him, just saw his net worth increase significantly when he was named a partner at Goldman Sachs today and will presumably be celebrating the good news with some sort of shopping spree later this month. In related, congrats to Yann!  [DM via Tracy Alloway, earlier]

24 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (24)

  1. Posted by VonSloneker | November 14, 2012 at 2:14 PM

    Tortious interference with a marriage contract. Go get him old timer.

    - The Texas Hammer

  2. Posted by Guesteban | November 14, 2012 at 2:24 PM

    Velvet-lined vise grip attached to a paint shaker, is all I can imagine…

  3. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    Why you tryna make her sound like a woman of loose morals? This Yann guy sounds like her first partner…

  4. Posted by OpportunityCost | November 14, 2012 at 2:27 PM

    Had to google this brother to find out the deal. He offered ~500,000 GBP for her. Clearly he does not work in any sort of pricing capacity at Goldman.

  5. Posted by Incitatus | November 14, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    YO SOY JIM ADLER!

  6. Posted by Jay Morgan | November 14, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    Here's a news flash, most successful Wall Street dudes have to pay for their pussy.

  7. Posted by investorcluzo | November 14, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    How did this guy make partner? Doesn't he know you pay hookers to LEAVE?

  8. Posted by The chick | November 14, 2012 at 2:43 PM

    Looks like one of those free bottles of water you get at a trade fair.

    What do you take me for, Yann?

  9. Posted by Heffe | November 14, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    Yo soy no mas un poco pantalones!

  10. Posted by J Namath | November 14, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    clearly contributing to a culture of excellence…

  11. Posted by Knibb High Principal | November 14, 2012 at 3:08 PM

    Especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp.

  12. Posted by car ramrod | November 14, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    love to see the valuation model used to price this wife. Huge NWC constraints due to the rising cost of valtrex almost cause this one to fall through.

  13. Posted by Jerramy Stevens | November 14, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    I recommend beating the shit out of them instead – worked for me!

  14. Posted by Lowly Assistant | November 14, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    Homeboy looks like a Playmobil figurine.

    @Nakedshort knows what's up.

  15. Posted by ih8edjfkjr | November 14, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    Where are the customers' hookers?

  16. Posted by CATS | November 14, 2012 at 3:37 PM

    Sadly, TS Eliot's wife has passed on. http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/newsandmessenger

  17. Posted by Guest | November 14, 2012 at 3:48 PM

    I offer two mules.

  18. Posted by Texashedge | November 14, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    That's my job, asshole!

    -Joe Jamail

  19. Posted by Little Fritz | November 14, 2012 at 4:44 PM

    Bummer, 92 is pretty good though.

  20. Posted by Lowly Assistant | November 14, 2012 at 5:11 PM

    The waves were gnarly that year.

    -Dan Cortese

    (Not a hater; just been wishing I was Dan Cortese all day)

  21. Posted by Guesteeculos | November 14, 2012 at 5:20 PM

    Previously in a partner ascension meeting…

    Partner A: His work is beyond reproach. Dedication to the firm is off the charts. Yes, he has some personal issues, but he is making us money.
    Partner B: I think he maybe unstable and is probably going to need much more money to keep that gold digger of his.
    Partner C: He may even trade up. Could be a big liability and we already have enough bad press.
    Lloyd (via phone link): If he trades up or stays with current partner, he will have no choice, but to work even harder and bring in more revenue. More importantly, he has no dignity or self-worth left to lose (Cackle)… Approved!
    Partners A, B and C: Of course, he's in!

  22. Posted by Quant me maybe | November 14, 2012 at 8:15 PM

    But will he sign off on a dancing pig?

  23. Posted by Guest | November 15, 2012 at 10:12 PM

    …found in a recent report from the Bank of England:

    "The immediate economic outlook remains a challenging one, but recent transactions in the secondary market for whores reflects provides evidence of increased liquidity and further proof that the quantitative easing scheme has been effective."

  24. Posted by sohbet odalari | December 26, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    hello nice sexy