Opening Bell: 11.05.12

Wall Street Pay Rises (WSJ)
Wall Street pay will bounce in 2012 from last year’s sharply reduced levels, but bonuses will be lower and have more strings attached than before the financial crisis, the latest tally of finance-industry compensation shows. So-called incentive-based pay, which includes cash and stock awards, is set to be flat to up 5% to 10% from a year earlier, according to a forecast set to be released Monday by consulting firm Johnson Associates. At the same time, financial firms are keeping a lid on cash outlays by deferring more pay and trimming their workforces…Many securities-industry employees still rake in far more in pay than most other professions. But gone are the days when scores of star traders would get million-dollar, year-end windfalls. The average managing director is set to take home about $930,000 in total pay for 2012, up 3.3% from $900,000 a year ago but down about 23% from $1.2 million in 2010…Reflecting a big rebound from last year’s plunge, the survey said bond traders—among the hardest hit in terms of pay in 2011—could see their bonuses rise 10% to 20%, even though several firms are scaling back fixed-income trading operations. Investment bankers and equity traders may receive as much as 10% less in bonuses than last year. Equity volumes remain weak, while global merger and acquisition volume is down 16% to $1.7 trillion through the first nine months of the year, according to Thomson Reuters.

Goldman Sachs Partner List Drops 31 Since February, Filing Shows (Bloomberg)
Some of the names missing from the latest filing had already been reported, such as former Securities Division Co- Head David B. Heller and Lucas van Praag, the former head of corporate communications. Others hadn’t been announced.

Economy Set for Better Times Whether Obama or Romney Wins (Bloomberg)
Mitt Romney says Barack Obama’s policies will consign the U.S. to an extended period of sluggish economic growth, at best. The president says his Republican challenger’s plans will sow the seeds of another mammoth recession. Both are wrong. No matter who wins the election tomorrow, the economy is on course to enjoy faster growth in the next four years as the headwinds that have held it back turn into tailwinds. Consumers are spending more and saving less after reducing household debt to the lowest since 2003. Home prices are rebounding after falling more than 30 percent from their 2006 highs. And banks are increasing lending after boosting equity capital by more than $300 billion since 2009. “The die is cast for a much stronger recovery,” said Mark Zandi, chief economist in West Chester, Pennsylvania, for Moody’s Analytics Inc. He sees growth this year and next at about 2 percent before doubling to around 4 percent in both 2014 and 2015 as consumption, construction and hiring all pick up.

Chanos Unmoved by Chinese Banks’ Biggest Rally Since Jan. (Bloomberg)
The biggest monthly surge in Chinese banks since January isn’t enough to stop Jim Chanos from shorting the financial shares as the portfolio manager wagers the country faces a credit crisis as bad loans increase. “You can’t look at a month and say that’s the trend, or something’s changed,” Chanos, who oversees $6 billion as the founder and president at Kynikos Associates Ltd., said in a Bloomberg television interview. Bad loans peaking at 3 percent, “seems awfully Pollyannic,” he said.

Merkel: Euro Debt Crisis Will Last 5 Years Or More (Reuters)
Merkel says the continent is on the right path to overcome the crisis but “whoever thinks this can be fixed in one or two years is wrong.”

Europe’s Bank Reviews Collateral (WSJ)
The issue involves about €80 billion in Spanish Treasury bills the ECB accepted as collateral for its loans. The ECB applies different discounts, or haircuts, to collateral based on the quality of the asset being posted. The Treasury bills under question were given the highest collateral rating, but Welt am Sonntag’s research suggests many of the securities should have been given a lower rating, meaning more bills would have needed to be posted to obtain the same amount of ECB credit. If the ECB eventually were to downgrade the securities, banks would have to provide additional collateral to cover the nearly €17 billion in ECB loans they have received. The issue could prove to be embarrassing to the ECB if it is forced to admit it wasn’t strict enough in enforcing its rules.

Jeep Driven By Suspected Smugglers Gets Stuck Atop U.S.-Mexico Border Fence (TSG)
A harebrained attempt by suspected smugglers to drive a Jeep Cherokee up and over a U.S.-Mexico border fence failed early Tuesday when the vehicle got stuck atop the 14-foot tall barrier. As seen above, the teetering SUV was spotted by U.S. Border Patrol agents after it had been driven up a makeshift ramp, but could not complete the trip’s final leg into Arizona. When agents approached the vehicle, two individuals on the fence’s Mexican side fled. Investigators suspect that the Jeep likely contained narcotics, which were offloaded when the vehicle became stuck.

Rochdale Says Bad Apple Trade Led to Rescue Bid (WSJ)
“Rochdale had an unauthorized trade that left us with a negative capital position. We are in talks that would result in a healthy balance sheet, and we expect to be trading maybe as early as Monday,” said Rochdale President Daniel Crowley. He said the unauthorized trading was in shares of Apple, and that, as of Saturday evening, the company was in talks with two firms for a possible injection of capital. He declined to offer more details on the unauthorized trading.

S&P Found Liable by Australia Court for Misleading Rating (Bloomberg)
Standard & Poor’s misled investors by giving its highest rating to securities whose value plunged during the global credit freeze, a judge ruled in an Australian case that may be cited in lawsuits around the world. S&P was “misleading and deceptive” in its rating of two structured debt issues in 2006, Federal Court Justice Jayne Jagot said in a summary of her ruling released today in Sydney. The Australian municipalities that brought the case are entitled to damages from the credit ratings company and two other defendants, ABN Amro Bank NV and Local Government Financial Services Pty., according to the ruling.

Banks Going Low-Tech In Aftermath Of Sandy (WSJ)
Sandy’s devastating force has led many of the banks lying in its path to resort to old-fashioned, low-tech ways of serving their customers—including stocking up on cash and recording transactions by hand with ink and paper.

Hulk Hogan: Bubba the Love Sponge and I ‘are NOT friends and never will be friends’ after sex tape leak (NYDN)
They may have settled their sex tape brawl, but Hulk Hogan and Bubba the Love Sponge Clem aren’t rekindling their former friendship, the wrestling star claimed Friday. “Just for the record, Bubba and I are NOT friends and never will be friends, we are NOT friends,” Hulk Hogan said of the Florida shock jock in a Twitter message. Hogan sued Bubba Oct. 15 for invasion of privacy after grainy footage of the mustachioed muscleman having sex with Bubba’s wife surfaced on…Hogan, 59, maintained he was unaware of any camera and that the leak of the 6-year-old recording, made with Bubba’s consent while the wrestler’s ill-fated marriage to ex-wife Linda Hogan was on the rocks, was a devastating blow.

61 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (61)

  1. Posted by Dick Cheney | November 5, 2012 at 7:36 AM

    Why isn't that fence electrified and mined? I left strict instructions.

  2. Posted by Joe Isuzu | November 5, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    Isn't that vehicle a Jeep "Patriot"?

  3. Posted by Russell Stildolph | November 5, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    What is this, amateur hour? I could have had that Jeep airborne for at least another 20-30 feet.

  4. Posted by VonSloneker | November 5, 2012 at 9:05 AM

    We should have used Mini Coopers…

    – M. Wahlberg, Project Manager "The Mexican Job"

  5. Posted by 2012 Election | November 5, 2012 at 9:11 AM

    I'm on the fence, too.

  6. Posted by Vopos | November 5, 2012 at 9:19 AM

    You should have consulted with us before you tried to imitate us.

  7. Posted by Rejectedbro | November 5, 2012 at 9:24 AM

    Speaking of amateur hour.. I got SO played on Friday. Hit up this gal to see if she was out. She says yes, come join her. She even told me to hurry because her phone was dying! Me and my mates get to the pub.. and she's obviously with some other bloke! Um is this Elimidate? So not chill. That night I vaguely recall her and I having some aggressive drunken phone calls back and forth around 2 a.m. The last one ended with her saying stop contacting me and me laughing and telling her she hit her peak 4 years ago and to get over herself. But it gets worse..

    I call a friend the next morning at like 8 a.m. to go for a run and then biddie from last nights vmail greeting starts playing! (I don't really save girls' numbers in my phone and fat fingered her # from the recent call list.) Unreal. She calls back a couple of times so I have to answer and explaining the error to her bloated ego was futile, she immediately interrupts and starts lecturing me that I need to take a hint and stop calling her, she understands that I'm upset but she really likes this new guy, her and me just aren't going to happen. I wonder how long she kept talking before she realized I hung up.

    The lesson: if the first time you hang with a chick she tells you stories about guys being "obsessed" with her.. you're gonna have a bad time. Never justify obvious red flags because the girl is cute.

  8. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:25 AM

    How else am I suppose to get reelected?

  9. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:29 AM

    I can't see your sponsers being happy about comments like this

  10. Posted by A. Cooper | November 5, 2012 at 9:30 AM


  11. Posted by guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    soooooo long story short she smelled the douchebag on you from a mile away and played you before you played her?

  12. Posted by guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    How long did you work on this, N'08/LaxBro? All night? All weekend?

  13. Posted by guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:31 AM

    1. This never happened. 2. You are not funny.

  14. Posted by N'08 Ruins Nuptials | November 5, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    So was this just a slow week on the wedding front or have people finally stopped inviting you?

  15. Posted by guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    Long story short, this never happened and please don't encourage N'08/LaxBro's attempts at comedy writing.

  16. Posted by leeminbrahs | November 5, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    "I trust everyone. It's the narcotics inside them I don't trust."

    -Charlize Theron

  17. Posted by Rejectedbro | November 5, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    Um, what's so unbelievable about the me getting played by some chick? It sucks and (when it happens) I prefer it to be more subtle than this but gotta take some knocks here and there.

  18. Posted by Phred | November 5, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    Now it's a Nova.

    -UBS Mexico Desk

  19. Posted by Stryne Lixbro | November 5, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    Gidday Dylebrykers

    How ya goin? I haven’t seen ya in yonks. I bunged up my knee last week, chasin’ after a mob of roos in the back paddock, so it wasn’t easy to fix the leak in the dunny. But, no worries – she’ll be right, mate! I don’t notice the ryne on my noggin when I’ve bean on the grog. I haven’t the time to yabber because I need to eat my sanger before the cockies get it.


  20. Posted by KY PR | November 5, 2012 at 9:39 AM

    We dont mind.


  21. Posted by N'08 Ruins Nuptials | November 5, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    Mandy Drury's dad?

  22. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:43 AM

    Is that a graphical depiction of bond duration?

    UBS Fixed Income Quant.

  23. Posted by J. Dimon | November 5, 2012 at 9:51 AM

    Why are you chasing some attention whore early on a weekend night? You go out with bros to pull new talent, if you don't you call the reserves at 1:30 when they're shit faced. Rookie mistake, bro.

  24. Posted by BroJ's FICC VP | November 5, 2012 at 9:54 AM

    Something tells me the author of the above post suffers from a serious lack of friends of any sort, let alone bros that he could roll deep with to the bar on a Friday or Saturday night.

  25. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 9:57 AM

    That car needs more kicking in the front seat.

    – Rebecca Black Quant

  26. Posted by Ingenuis | November 5, 2012 at 9:58 AM

    I really hope this was like that 1/100 times that this scheme didn't work…..

  27. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:03 AM

    Hahaha! Went for a run!? Poor people in Kenya run, she totally knew you didnt have any money that is why she blew you off. You want to get chicks you tell them you get exercise from a Bow-Flex or that $14k ROM machine.

  28. Posted by RBS Transport VP | November 5, 2012 at 10:04 AM

    Probably closer to 1/1000, but other than that, no concerns.

  29. Posted by NakedShort | November 5, 2012 at 10:05 AM

    dont get me started

  30. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:06 AM

    The delta between Laxbro and N'08 is like Richard Pryor to Eddie Murphy. Rich is original and doesn't give a fuck, Eddie's funny but he tries too hard, grossly exaggerates and he skipped school the day they taught subtlety. But this rejectedbro character is like George Lopez: no timing, all of this shit is made up and I'm pretty sure he's retarded.

  31. Posted by Picture Caption | November 5, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    What else was I supposed to do? My pass to the parking garage didn't work this morning.

    -UBS trader

  32. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:07 AM

    Dude just stop

  33. Posted by If Bess tagged this | November 5, 2012 at 10:11 AM

    Mates, Elimidate, so not chill, biddies, guys who go for runs with other guys, fat fingered, obvious red flags, I got SO played

  34. Posted by Retards Everywhere | November 5, 2012 at 10:11 AM


  35. Posted by Sorry Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:12 AM

    I just accidentally down-voted you when I meant to hit thumbs up, apologies on that and eager to hear about your weekend.

  36. Posted by No One Ever | November 5, 2012 at 10:13 AM

    This was exactly my primary grievance with the above post as well.

  37. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:17 AM

    You have officialy reached your target destination “taco bell”.

    -Apple Maps

  38. Posted by David Einhorn | November 5, 2012 at 10:21 AM

    This is going to be horrible for Chipotle.

  39. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    Roll deep?? All you need is one good wingman

    – Goose

  40. Posted by Rejectedbro | November 5, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    I don't run with dudes, because too many guys my age are obnoxious marathon man dbags. I'm sure whatever building you work in is full of them and their boasts about their raw diet and training regimen. I was attempting to call a former D1 runner chick that was in town for the marathon. Super mellow, but not attracted to her or anything, hence the use of "friend."

  41. Posted by Emigrant | November 5, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    Stop that Jeep! It has my maid and lawn crew in it.

  42. Posted by Is It Safe Out? | November 5, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    Now that you mention it, preforming unnecessary oral surgery on you sans anesthetic would probably be quite enjoyable.

  43. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:44 AM

    Judging by the choice of words, he needs to change his handle from Rejectedbro to RugbyBro.

  44. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 10:45 AM

    You misspelled 'dude'.

  45. Posted by TheGuestAround | November 5, 2012 at 11:02 AM

    What I remember of High School Geometry tells me they'd need a 94 foot ramp to get a Grand Cherokee over that wall. So by the looks of it, this was a first attempt.

  46. Posted by Financial Samurai | November 5, 2012 at 11:09 AM

    Great to see pay rebound to $1 million bucks for MD's! Congrats everyone. Bull market is back, no matter how much Matt and Bess think things are bad. :)

  47. Posted by buckup bro | November 5, 2012 at 11:10 AM

    no worries LAXbro. sometimes when you take in the good, you take in the bad too.

  48. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 11:16 AM

    George Lopez? I got more of a Dane Cook channeling his inner Russell Brand vibe.

  49. Posted by Stove is hot | November 5, 2012 at 11:38 AM


  50. Posted by guest | November 5, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    We encourage you to dress super conservative and make a late-night stop at the Penn Station Taco Bell.

    -Beckett Waldorf
    Director of Marketing
    Vineyard Vines

  51. Posted by Guy With Request | November 5, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    Don't you talk about a national treasure like that! Also, consider amputating your fingers so you can't type any more of your screeds, thanks.

  52. Posted by Opposite Day? | November 5, 2012 at 11:41 AM

    Thanks for that, it really brought the quality level up a bit.

  53. Posted by Guesticle | November 5, 2012 at 11:43 AM

    I gave you a thumbs up but only because of my contempt for runner dickheads in the office.

  54. Posted by Bonobos VP | November 5, 2012 at 11:57 AM

    Well-cut and brightly colored pants may also be helpful.

  55. Posted by Texashedge | November 5, 2012 at 12:02 PM
  56. Posted by L. Olivier | November 5, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    Wow, A+ for the reference, even though everybody on this site is too young to get it. (Wasn't it just "is it safe", though?)

  57. Posted by Lloyd Christmas | November 5, 2012 at 12:30 PM

    So you're telling me there's a chance…

  58. Posted by Mirant Power Desk | November 5, 2012 at 12:41 PM


  59. Posted by Here's Johnny | November 5, 2012 at 12:51 PM

    Keeping it safe from Storm Surge


  60. Posted by Guest | November 5, 2012 at 1:05 PM

    Damn, I was hoping you died over the weekend.

  61. Posted by Is It Safe Out | November 5, 2012 at 3:58 PM

    I think it was, I'm also in the category of people "far too young to get it," but ended up watching it during the storm since it was one of three DVDs in my parents country house.