What? Anything is possible and that would be grounds for an all-staff call. You don’t know.


[CNBC, Earlier, Earlier, Earlier, Earlier]

Comments (55)

  1. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    [youtube tkdkAe0GgbA http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tkdkAe0GgbA youtube]

  2. Posted by InfiniteGuest | November 29, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    Maybe they're drawing names for Secret Santa.

  3. Posted by Ooo_la_la | November 29, 2012 at 12:56 PM

    Hey Bess, please change tags to include: Cadillacs, second prize, steak knives.

  4. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    Why the fuck would Cohen discuss his personal liability at an all-staff meeting?

    - Not a lawyer, not a fan of their work

  5. Posted by guest | November 29, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    maybe they are picking colors for next year´s fleeces

  6. Posted by Patagonia Analyst | November 29, 2012 at 1:17 PM

    Well, looks like that pitchbook I spent all of October on finally did some good!

  7. Posted by guest | November 29, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    And look, tell me he ain't did it, he ain't did it
    And if he did, then that's family business

  8. Posted by FORskin | November 29, 2012 at 1:26 PM

    Maybe Ping to lead a white-board discussion?

  9. Posted by Kanye East | November 29, 2012 at 1:36 PM
  10. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 1:41 PM

    I wonder what brought Stevie all this bad luck?

    -A Rod

  11. Posted by Dateraider | November 29, 2012 at 1:43 PM

    Oh the SEC outside is frightful,
    But the fleece is so delightful,
    And since we've no place to go,
    Don't be slow ! Hide the dough! Let It Snow!

    It doesn't show signs of stopping,
    But I've personal money to take the whopping,
    The lights are turned way down low,
    Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!

    When we finally kiss goodnight,
    How I'll hate going out in the storm!
    But if you'll really hold me tight,
    All the way to the pen I'll be warm.

    The fire is slowly dying,
    And, my dear, we're still good-bying,
    But as long as you love me so,
    Let's lie low! Let Matt take the Blow ! Let It Snow!

  12. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    If I go down your coming with!

    -Steve “Humpty Dumpty” Cohen

  13. Posted by Alt_EST | November 29, 2012 at 1:44 PM

    Handbridge Capital Swag > SAC Swag

  14. Posted by Scissors | November 29, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    Thanks for the douche chill! It was really refreshing!

  15. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 1:51 PM

    Could it be?

    -NorthFace

  16. Posted by Fuckles | November 29, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    Nope

    -SouthButt

  17. Posted by Staff Call | November 29, 2012 at 2:12 PM

    Scene: Conference Room A, 4:15pm

    Enter STEVE, serious:

    "If I catch just ONE of you @#($*&@#($ talking to the @$&#*@#$ press, I will personally @#$* @#$*( your @#$#$."

    Exeunt, pursued by a bear.

  18. Posted by Backdoor_Bess | November 29, 2012 at 2:14 PM

    Phantom Wireless Spectrum Gift Card from Phil > SAC Hoodie

  19. Posted by Todd | November 29, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    There's a fleece on my house!

  20. Posted by Cliff Assness | November 29, 2012 at 2:26 PM

    Falcone or Cohen? Who would you rather be?

  21. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 29, 2012 at 2:33 PM

    Please point me to the place in the New Testament where it discusses the appearance of a fat bearded man in a red fur-trimmed suit, riding in a sleigh drawn by subarctic quadrupeds, as somehow being a part of the birth of the Messiah.

    -non-tribesman

  22. Posted by guest | November 29, 2012 at 2:35 PM

    Is the staff call made using burner cell phones?

  23. Posted by guest | November 29, 2012 at 2:36 PM

    group hug?

  24. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 2:37 PM

    You said you would do better next time…

  25. Posted by Wilbur | November 29, 2012 at 2:39 PM

    How DARE you, sir. How DARE you?

  26. Posted by SAC HR | November 29, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    We would like to thank Mr. Vilhauer for his efforts on SAC's behalf, as he leaves to spend more time with his family..

    Now, who wants to be the new head trader.

    Anyone? Anyone?

  27. Posted by mayflower man | November 29, 2012 at 2:57 PM

    When I was there, every year on the day before the holiday I tried to get Steve to lead a re-enactment of the first thanksgiving feast, with half of us as native americans and half pilgrims. i even had the peace pipes loaded. got voted down every time. think it was because steve couldn't decide whether he looked better in black, or with warpaint and feathers.

    ex fleecer

  28. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 2:58 PM

    Does Stevie have nice thighs? Just wondering.

    -Somebody with powerfully nice thighs

  29. Posted by Alpha_Bets | November 29, 2012 at 3:00 PM

    It's my understanding that the wacky shit is in Revelation, so I'd start there.

  30. Posted by 2 cubes over | November 29, 2012 at 3:03 PM

    Hey, we didn't start the fire! It's your holiday.

  31. Posted by 2 cubes over | November 29, 2012 at 3:05 PM

    past performance indicative of future results.

  32. Posted by Aenis Pss | November 29, 2012 at 3:09 PM

    This one knows a little too much.

  33. Posted by DARE | November 29, 2012 at 3:13 PM

    DARE – To Resist Drugs and Violence!

  34. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 3:15 PM

    SC: Thanks for coming. Just wanted to let you know we're kinda fucked here, but there's good news….I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

  35. Posted by NakedShort | November 29, 2012 at 3:22 PM

    Got teeth in your mouth so my Wells Notice gots to fit!

  36. Posted by Bandersnatch | November 29, 2012 at 3:23 PM

    Depending on new money to keep you in house and home never ends well.
    – Empress of Blandings

  37. Posted by Turnip Truck | November 29, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Nothing is fucked!!!

  38. Posted by Legal guy | November 29, 2012 at 3:50 PM

    I'm willing to buy a fleece now, anyone who has one, please call me at 1-800-MAKEITRAIN

  39. Posted by SACk | November 29, 2012 at 4:16 PM

    "And that's all for today. Oh one more thing, if you or a family member knows anyone interested in a preserved shark that can be suspended from the ceiling of your home, I…have a friend looking to get rid of one. Thank you."

  40. Posted by Frank Burns | November 29, 2012 at 4:21 PM

    If we were in the Navy, I'd have you flogged.

  41. Posted by PermaGuestII | November 29, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    Heartily agree.

    -Clarence, Earl of Emsworth

  42. Posted by Just sayin | November 29, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    As a former service provider who's visited their office on multiple occasions, I can honestly and equitably say that his taste in art sucks ass. I would likely have appreciated it more had I hit the Chronic or the Indo prior..

  43. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 4:48 PM

    Geico isn't just car insurance. They also cover motorcycles, boats, RVs and zambonis.

  44. Posted by engineer over here | November 29, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    Apparently not enough Kanye West fans on DealBreaker. Lots of Kanye songs would play well as the opening song for this SAC movie (coming soon).

    Partial List:
    Blame Game
    All Falls Down
    Bring Me Down
    Can't Tell Me Nothing
    Gold Digger
    We Major

  45. Posted by apalom | November 29, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    Drunk and Hot Girls might be fitting as well. Hm….

  46. Posted by Greenwich | November 29, 2012 at 5:25 PM

    Stop huffing correction fluid and get back here. We're out of toner.

  47. Posted by A Milli | November 29, 2012 at 5:39 PM

    Chat over. SC: You got nothing on me. You know it, I know it. I'm changing dollar bills. That's all. You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm."

  48. Posted by GSIntern | November 29, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    Writing poems during the work day? Must work for UBS.

  49. Posted by flyonwall | November 29, 2012 at 6:03 PM

    Employees gathered, supplicating hands held out before them as if for alms, while Stevey, as he is affectionately known by his employees, placed a small pill, the size of a pea, in each of their hands. In a soothing voice, reminiscent of the Velvet fog, Stevey said, before walking to his helipad, "You all know what needs to be done."

  50. Posted by flyonwall | November 29, 2012 at 6:22 PM

    We're fucked, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night!

  51. Posted by Jersey | November 29, 2012 at 6:28 PM

    My fleece is more better.

    -Gov Chris Christie

  52. Posted by BeatCal | November 29, 2012 at 6:48 PM

    Patagonia Rocks!!!!

    I really wish it hadn't discontinued the MARS series. Want a R2 MARS.

  53. Posted by NewLogoWasBadEnough | November 30, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    Please stop making Stanford people look bad.

  54. Posted by Guest | December 6, 2012 at 7:54 AM

    Jumped the shark.

  55. Posted by sohbet odalari | December 25, 2012 at 4:43 PM

    very admin thanks