If you had asked us two years or two months or two days ago if we thought that there would be a time in the near future when Securities and Exchange employees would not be regularly reprimanded for watching porn on their work-issued computers for 98 percent of the workday, we would have said absolutely not. No judgment, but in our professional opinion, people do not go from, among other things:

* Receiving “over 16,000 access denials for Internet websites classified by the Commission’s Internet filter as either “Sex” or “Pornography” in a one-month period”

* Accessing “Internet pornography and downloading pornographic images to his SEC computer during work hours so frequently that, on some days, he spent eight hours accessing Internet pornography…downloading so much pornography to his government computer that he exhausted the available space on the computer hard drive and downloaded pornography to CDs or DVDs that he accumulated in boxes in his office.”

* www.ladyboyx.com, www.ladyboyjuice.com, www.trannytit.com, and www.anal-sins.com

…to living a porn-free existence at l’office. Did we think they’d take baby steps toward that goal? Sure. But when you’ve tried to log on to your websites of choice, on average, 533 times a day, assuming weekends were worked, baby steps means getting yourself to a place where you can do a solid two hours of work each week without hitting up anal-sins.com. So you can imagine (and probably share in) our surprise to hear that, according to a probe by Interim Inspector General Jon Rymer re: “misuses of government resources,” the worst offenses one office was charged with claiming they needed iPads to do their jobs when really they just wanted to watch movies on them at home and going to hacker conferences without encrypting the data on their computers.

Granted, it doesn’t look so great that the group that was running around with computers that didn’t even have anti-virus programs on their computers was the one that “is responsible for ensuring exchanges are following a series of voluntary guidelines…concerning computer audits, security, and capacity,” or that some of the people in said group apparently had “little to no idea” what they were doing but still, no ladyboyjuice while on the job– that’s huge.

In a 43-page investigative report that probed the misuse of government resources, SEC Interim Inspector General Jon Rymer discovered that an office within the SEC’s Trading and Markets division spent over $1 million on unnecessary technology. The report also found that the staffers failed to protect their computers and devices from hackers, even as they were urging exchanges and clearing agencies to do just that. Although no breaches occurred, the staffers left sensitive stock exchange data exposed to potential cyber attacks because they failed to encrypt the devices or even install basic virus protection programs…On Friday Reuters reviewed a copy of the full report, which details an even broader array of problems, from misleading the SEC about the office’s need to buy Apple Inc products, to cases in which staffers took iPads and laptops home and used them primarily for pursuits such as personal banking, surfing the Web and downloading music and movies. The report says the staff may have brought the unprotected laptops to a Black Hat convention where hacking experts discuss the latest trends. They also used them to tap into public wireless networks and brought the devices along with them during exchange inspections…The report also found that some people who worked in the office had little or no experience with exchange technical matters.

SEC staffers used govn’t computers for personal use – report [Reuters]
Earlier: SEC Supervisor Surfed Tranny Porn To Cope With Stress Of The Job; SEC Official Who Surfed Tranny Porn To Deal With Stress Of The Job– Not Alone!;

15 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (15)

  1. Posted by Bejujular | November 12, 2012 at 2:03 PM

    That's it, I'm joining the SEC!

    – Jeffrey Gunlach

  2. Posted by Guest | November 12, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    Backdoor Sluts 9 makes anal-sins.com look like Naughty Nurses 2.

  3. Posted by Jeff | November 12, 2012 at 2:41 PM

    A more intelligent commenter would have said that Doubline is encouraging former governmental regulatory staff to apply for several senior compliance positions.

    Chicks can also smell your desperation.

  4. Posted by Joe Schmo | November 12, 2012 at 2:44 PM

    I love that last sentence: "The report also found that some people who worked in the office had little or no experience with exchange technical matters."

    No kidding!!!!!!!!

  5. Posted by Guest | November 12, 2012 at 2:54 PM

    Take the rest of the day off.

  6. Posted by censored | November 12, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    Calling Dealbreaker admin…

  7. Posted by güest | November 12, 2012 at 3:06 PM

    IT stands for Internet Things, right?

  8. Posted by Texashedge | November 12, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    Sometimes while at work I like to look up where I can get the best artisanal local fruits for baking. Couple of great websites but my favorite is lemonparty.com

  9. Posted by güest | November 12, 2012 at 3:20 PM

    Reminds me of the time I needed to do some market research on goat cheese supplies… goatse.cx is really helpful!

  10. Posted by Solver of Problems | November 12, 2012 at 3:49 PM

    I can solve the problem real fast. Open up SEC offices in Damascus, Kabul and Benghazi. Staff them with the porn surfers. Make them find their own relocation lodging.

  11. Posted by Abe_Froman_ | November 12, 2012 at 5:30 PM

    SEC:Porn :: All of us:Dealbreaker

  12. Posted by Calgary Computer | November 12, 2012 at 5:58 PM

    It's good that they are finally learning.

  13. Posted by commentariat rep | November 12, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    all of us ?

  14. Posted by DB IT Hamster | November 12, 2012 at 7:48 PM

    Are they hiring?

  15. Posted by Lowly Assistant | November 12, 2012 at 9:50 PM

    Bryant Gumbel makes Wayne Brady look like Malcolm X.