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This Is Happening: Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading Night

Do you want to hear something that Matt and I have been up to the last couple weeks, when we aren’t writing stories for this website? Holding a series of auditions with actors, who we asked to read vintage Dealbreaker posts in a dramatic fashion. As much as I would like to say that we did this purely for our own enjoyment– and make no mistake, we enjoyed it tremendously and in fact relished getting into the role of casting director– we actually did this for your benefit. What I’m saying is, on the evening of Wednesday December 12th, we will be holding Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading Night at a bar somewhere in downtown Manhattan. We can’t reveal too many details at this time but all you need to know is: a professional actor who has made it through our grueling audition process will read selected highlights from the Dealbreaker canon. It’s highly possible that Matt and I will be the only ones laughing but that’s what makes it so exciting. We want to keep this intimate and will be capping the guest list at ~40 so get your tickets here NOW.


Please Note: All information will be kept completely confidential.

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48 Responses to “This Is Happening: Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading Night”

  1. Thirstier Than That says:

    Question: did any of the auditions involve 'naughty hawks'??

  2. lucas says:

    Forget the posts, they should read the comments!

  3. Guest says:

    If no Ashley Dupre stories are read I'm going to be very disappointed.

  4. Im_a_Dude says:

    Is that like reading poetry? Shakespeare?
    i just need to know what to wear.

  5. Nailz6 says:

    I will be hosting the Midwest version at Ceres tonight in Chicago.

  6. VonSloneker says:

    HD Webcast or GTFO

    – Flyover Country

  7. guest says:

    Meet me at Minetta's will take on a whole new meaning with Bess and Matt there in person

  8. The Big Guy says:

    As long as reading of the rights won't be involved, I'm down.

  9. Guest says:

    Can I use my Chase debit card to pay for my ticket?

  10. Guest says:

    I'm stopping by the Taco Bell at Penn Station for a bite afterwards. Who's with me?

    -Vineyard Vines aficionado

  11. Joseph says:

    Please do this again, I don't move to the city until early January.

  12. Guest says:

    I got excited when I read this, then I realized I would be standing in a room full of Dealbreaker commenters and my enthusiasm dropped quickly

    – afraid of the commentariat

    • HasToBeAtMinettas says:

      Question – in a live commentariat setting, would you be more afraid of the "thumb ups" or the "thumb downs"?

  13. Marcus Rich says:

    Fly in Geezer Oil Trader or I'm not coming

  14. Guest says:

    I wish Nervous Jew would be there, but my guess is speeches delivered to large crowds make him very nervous

  15. Evil David Letterman says:

    Hey, I'll be there if free bagels are on the menu.

  16. Guest says:

    My top choices would be : Drury and receipt guy.

    • 2 cubes over says:

      Yeah whatever happened to the hotel receipts guy?

      -Fan of his work

      • TheJokeBriefer says:

        After further review of prior Hotel Receipt Guy (HRG) posts it appears his "production" stopped before the DSK hotel event in NYC and has yet to recover. I suspect that the DSK hotel scandal, while a natural set up for the "receipt joke" of course, was a sad event that wasn't funny because of the nature of the scandal. An obvious conflict between a joke set up and real tragic allegations probably stopped the joke's muse at that point. Perhaps DSK had another victim in the loss of HRG?

  17. Chubz McFail says:

    Read that post about that guy who took all those LI / NJ girls in to pound town while munching on tacos in Penn Station. I offloaded my fiance and moved to NYC because of that post.

  18. Guest says:

    God in heaven, please let it be Christopher Walken.

  19. Brudda says:

    Shia LeBeouf or GTFO

  20. NakedShort says:

    Did any of mine make the cut??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  21. Guest says:

    The dramatic part will be acting out the histograms and Venn diagrams.

  22. Deleveraging says:

    What time is it starting? Trying to determine if I can be in two places at once. This is tricky, since both involve alcohol

    • Bess says:

      IntenseDebate is being a piece of garbage (per usual) and not letting me login but it's starting at 7:30.

      • Deleveraging says:

        I know this is not suppose to be complicated. But 7:30, is that cocktail time or curtain time? I don't want to ask for a ticket and then walk in 10 minutes late into the production.

  23. Guest says:

    Now, for a blogger…