• 30 Nov 2012 at 9:30 AM

This Is Happening: Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading Night

Do you want to hear something that Matt and I have been up to the last couple weeks, when we aren’t writing stories for this website? Holding a series of auditions with actors, who we asked to read vintage Dealbreaker posts in a dramatic fashion. As much as I would like to say that we did this purely for our own enjoyment– and make no mistake, we enjoyed it tremendously and in fact relished getting into the role of casting director– we actually did this for your benefit. What I’m saying is, on the evening of Wednesday December 12th, we will be holding Dealbreaker Dramatic Reading Night at a bar somewhere in downtown Manhattan. We can’t reveal too many details at this time but all you need to know is: a professional actor who has made it through our grueling audition process will read selected highlights from the Dealbreaker canon. It’s highly possible that Matt and I will be the only ones laughing but that’s what makes it so exciting. We want to keep this intimate and will be capping the guest list at ~40 so get your tickets here NOW.

Please Note: All information will be kept completely confidential.

48 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
Show all comments ↓

Comments (48)

  1. Posted by Thirstier Than That | November 29, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    Question: did any of the auditions involve 'naughty hawks'??

  2. Posted by lucas | November 29, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    Forget the posts, they should read the comments!

  3. Posted by Wishful Thinker | November 29, 2012 at 5:13 PM

    Sir Laurence Olivier reading a compendium of Geezer Oil Trader posts would be the Epitome of Awesomeness.

  4. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 5:16 PM

    If no Ashley Dupre stories are read I'm going to be very disappointed.

  5. Posted by Im_a_Dude | November 29, 2012 at 5:21 PM

    Is that like reading poetry? Shakespeare?
    i just need to know what to wear.

  6. Posted by Nailz6 | November 29, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    I will be hosting the Midwest version at Ceres tonight in Chicago.

  7. Posted by VonSloneker | November 29, 2012 at 5:34 PM

    HD Webcast or GTFO

    – Flyover Country

  8. Posted by guest | November 29, 2012 at 5:35 PM

    Meet me at Minetta's will take on a whole new meaning with Bess and Matt there in person

  9. Posted by The Big Guy | November 29, 2012 at 5:36 PM

    As long as reading of the rights won't be involved, I'm down.

  10. Posted by guest | November 29, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    Busey, with Gianna performing interpretive dance.

  11. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 6:18 PM

    Can I use my Chase debit card to pay for my ticket?

  12. Posted by Chiarb | November 29, 2012 at 6:39 PM

    What will you be wearing so I can recognize you?

  13. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    I'm stopping by the Taco Bell at Penn Station for a bite afterwards. Who's with me?

    -Vineyard Vines aficionado

  14. Posted by Joseph | November 29, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Please do this again, I don't move to the city until early January.

  15. Posted by HBS '10 | November 29, 2012 at 7:00 PM

    I will be hosting the West Coast version at my sick penthouse, alone.

  16. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    I got excited when I read this, then I realized I would be standing in a room full of Dealbreaker commenters and my enthusiasm dropped quickly

    – afraid of the commentariat

  17. Posted by BessLevin | November 29, 2012 at 7:19 PM

    To us, the "Dealbreaker canon" is anything that has ever appeared on this site. That includes comments…

  18. Posted by Marcus Rich | November 29, 2012 at 7:21 PM

    Fly in Geezer Oil Trader or I'm not coming

  19. Posted by HasToBeAtMinettas | November 29, 2012 at 7:22 PM

    Question – in a live commentariat setting, would you be more afraid of the "thumb ups" or the "thumb downs"?

  20. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 8:24 PM

    I wish Nervous Jew would be there, but my guess is speeches delivered to large crowds make him very nervous

  21. Posted by Evil David Letterman | November 29, 2012 at 9:31 PM

    Hey, I'll be there if free bagels are on the menu.

  22. Posted by Optimistic Gentile | November 29, 2012 at 9:44 PM

    But…there's safety in numbers, so maybe there's a shot?

  23. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 9:56 PM

    My top choices would be : Drury and receipt guy.

  24. Posted by Chubz McFail | November 29, 2012 at 10:38 PM

    Read that post about that guy who took all those LI / NJ girls in to pound town while munching on tacos in Penn Station. I offloaded my fiance and moved to NYC because of that post.

  25. Posted by Guest | November 29, 2012 at 10:41 PM

    God in heaven, please let it be Christopher Walken.

  26. Posted by Guest | November 30, 2012 at 12:12 AM

    You're not allowed.

  27. Posted by matt | November 30, 2012 at 1:09 AM


  28. Posted by Brudda | November 30, 2012 at 8:35 AM

    Shia LeBeouf or GTFO

  29. Posted by Guest | November 30, 2012 at 8:50 AM

    There aren't enough "No!"s on this site to accomodate his stuttering problem.

  30. Posted by 2 cubes over | November 30, 2012 at 8:50 AM

    Yeah whatever happened to the hotel receipts guy?

    -Fan of his work

  31. Posted by NakedShort | November 30, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    Did any of mine make the cut??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

  32. Posted by guest | November 30, 2012 at 9:15 AM

    Reading vintage TGFD

  33. Posted by The City | November 30, 2012 at 9:23 AM

    You don't have to do that.

  34. Posted by Guest | November 30, 2012 at 9:59 AM

    Please, please, please, have Gilbert Godfry read N'08 and LAXBRO's comments. Additionally, have Sylvester Stallone read all FXTrader/OptionsTrader comments.

  35. Posted by Guest | November 30, 2012 at 10:24 AM

    How about mine?


  36. Posted by tseug | November 30, 2012 at 10:36 AM

    You can come Dave, but you have to do your world famous "Top 10".

  37. Posted by TheJokeBriefer | November 30, 2012 at 11:21 AM

    After further review of prior Hotel Receipt Guy (HRG) posts it appears his "production" stopped before the DSK hotel event in NYC and has yet to recover. I suspect that the DSK hotel scandal, while a natural set up for the "receipt joke" of course, was a sad event that wasn't funny because of the nature of the scandal. An obvious conflict between a joke set up and real tragic allegations probably stopped the joke's muse at that point. Perhaps DSK had another victim in the loss of HRG?

  38. Posted by Homo | November 30, 2012 at 11:28 AM


  39. Posted by Gus | November 30, 2012 at 11:55 AM

    Wait wait wait, you're telling me Gilbert Godfrey ISN'T Laxbro? Well now I just don't know what to believe…

  40. Posted by guy who prob didnt | November 30, 2012 at 12:54 PM

    when do you know if you got the invite?

  41. Posted by BessLevin | November 30, 2012 at 12:59 PM


  42. Posted by Guest | November 30, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    The dramatic part will be acting out the histograms and Venn diagrams.

  43. Posted by Deleveraging | November 30, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    What time is it starting? Trying to determine if I can be in two places at once. This is tricky, since both involve alcohol

  44. Posted by Lowly Assistant | November 30, 2012 at 4:36 PM

    Please please please include one or eight of those "On my [INSERT ROUND] interview with Goldman Sachs…" posts.

  45. Posted by Guest | November 30, 2012 at 5:46 PM

    Now, for a blogger…

  46. Posted by Bess | November 30, 2012 at 9:01 PM

    IntenseDebate is being a piece of garbage (per usual) and not letting me login but it's starting at 7:30.

  47. Posted by Deleveraging | December 1, 2012 at 6:52 AM

    I know this is not suppose to be complicated. But 7:30, is that cocktail time or curtain time? I don't want to ask for a ticket and then walk in 10 minutes late into the production.

  48. Posted by VonSloneker | December 3, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    Or perhaps, HRG = DSK

    – Superm….I mean Clark Kent

  49. Posted by BessLevin | December 3, 2012 at 2:10 PM

    Curtain time-ish. Will probably start by 7:45/7:50.