So far we’ve got:
* Clown
* Bozo
* Shit-stain
* Numbnuts
We also have it on good authority at least one person will be told their mother’s a whore, while another will be instructed to go get their shoeshine box. Finally, a Twitter user TBD will be informed that if traffic getting in and out of the city weren’t so backed up, Chaz would be taking them for a ride on the BQE with their head counting as passenger No. 2 and their torso as passenger No. 3, in order to comply with the minimum three per car rule imposed by Bloomberg earlier this week.
@charliegasparino [Twitter]
Update: One down, one down, seven to go!
Update II: Now two for seven:
Update III: Now that his story has been proven accurate, the stakes are even higher than before. Will he ask people if they’re planning to line up outside his door the day of his daughter’s wedding, to apologize and pay respect? Stay tuned.
Update IV: CLOSE ENOUGH:
Update V: Not one of ours– and failing to predict a workout-related comeback was an amateur-hour oversight, the shame of which will hang over our heads all weekend– but needed to be brought to your attention nonetheless:
"ur a friggen jerk", says "reporter".
My go to: fuckstick.
Nice, but we're asking what CG would say. Thinking 'fuckstick' may be too refined for him.
Sure I throw the occasional Twitter tantrum, but look what the roids do for my guns.
- Flexing Gasparino
I love that he actually told someone to get their shinebox after DB wrote he would.
C-Gas's twitter feed is a goddamn national treasure.
Apparently the stories about a shortage of Gasparino in Manhattan are greatly exaggerated.
"RT: BREAKING NEWS. Gasparino's workout area in East River Park flooded. He will be in the steam room at the Equinox near Christopher St. until further notice" @ComfortablySmug
Someone's been bored during the blackout and is doing bath salts again
Are we sure he didn't get hacked? I know Gasparino isn't the classiest guy in the world, but "yes but for u working is playing w urself" seems like a stretch, even for him.
https://twitter.com/CGasparino/status/26447570096…
Um, you must be new to charlie gasparino.
Gasparino is an anagram for Hurricane Sandy.
-Wolf Blitzer
Wolf Blitzer is an anagram for "So poor and so black."
cgasparino: get ur shinebox
mmatejczyk: Mother fuckin' mutt! You, you fucking piece of shit!
cgasparino: Yeah, yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!
mmatejczyk: Motherfucking… He bought his fucking button! That fake old tough guy! You bought your fucking button!
mmatejczyk: You mother fuck… Fuck! Keep that motherfucker here, keep him here!
Holy shit. I don't know what is funnier – Gasbag's tweets or Bess's unbelievable ability to predict his comebacks.
Gasparino may have been present at that wedding in Philly.
How does this Gassbag still have a job as a reporter…Hell, ZeroHedge does a better job of reporting news.
Regardless of the lack of workout-comeback prediction, this just made my weekend.
Bless you Bess Levin
Who the F* is Gasparino?
It's all part of a conspiracy.
Bess, will you marry me?
I'm sorry, but I know a ton of people on Wall Street that would say that to his face and then physically over power and embarrass Chaz. Some of which are women. It is easy to be a keyboard tough guy and, apparently, a shitty reporter, at the same time.
man, he got fat
I always assumed Bess was one of those anti-lol chicks. Ha or haha only when responding to her funny texts. Slip up and drop an lol via iMessage or gchat and you're the victim of a contact delete. Next thing you know you're soliciting every girl around the office for advice, "Everything was going well.. then boom she doesn't respond to my calls or texts." People tell you she prob got back with her ex, you think it's because you went to Cornell and she's a Yale grad, or maybe that restaurant in Brooklyn was a horrible idea for the second date. Nope. You merely sent a harmless lol and in an instant you went from fuckable to ew.
No you're not alright, Chaz! No…I thought you said I'm alright, Spider…err Chaz!
You assumed correctly.
Kinda?